Up and Over

Up and Over 12/31/2012

The truth rears its head
Huge, grotesque and grinning
Unavoidable
And inevitable.

And there is nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Because there is no one to blame
Except maybe ourselves.

We should have seen it coming
But we just ignored all the symptoms
Letting them all metastasize
Beneath the surface.

Chipping away at liberty
And tearing off pieces of flesh
We live and die
By a thousand cuts.

But that is life
And that is death
Always coming
And nipping at our heels.

We were born to die
And we are destined to fail
No matter what we say
Or how hard we try.

We plug up the holes
And keep on chugging
Until it’s too late
And the water pours in.

We all have something we love
And we all have something to protect
A false sense of security
And middle class careers.

But how precious
Will our treasures prove
When they are seized and wasted
And how important
Will our reputations be
When we are silenced and persecuted.

Yes this is it
The future that we made
Every time we said ok
And looked the other way.

The very earth beneath our feet
The hallowed ground of our fathers
Eroded away
Until nothing remains
Sucking us all down
And inwards.

Like a herd of buffalo
Heading off a cliff
Loaded down with parasites
And full of arrows.

Up and over
Dead and done
So much for the memories
Rotting away in the sun.

Residue

The Residue 12/28/2012

I know more now
Than I ever knew then
But still I wonder what happened
And why you are not here.

The seasons come and go
And I still want to tell you
The first thing on my mind
But then I stop myself
And it hurts once more.

Life is not a movie
And love is not a TV show
But the more we live
We imitate art
And suffer even more.

We always think
A perfect life
Is just around the corner
And lay all of the blame
At the closest
And the dearest.

But my question
Remains unanswered
As I go through the motions
Of living day to day.

I have learned many things
And I now I finally know
What it means to wait, endure,
Grow and suffer.

I learned to be the same
Whether I am happy
Or if I am sad
Smiling through the day
With my guts falling out.

I have learned patience
And I have found contentment
Even without treasure
Or anything at all.

But what good is all this
When all it achieves is survival
What can I ever offer
Other than a depressing dirge.

I will survive
And I will struggle
But without you
It is dull
And dead.

I tread the roads
But my steps lack the same conviction
Less purposeful
But heavy.

For now I live in spite
Like a ghost without his head
Always searching
But never finding.

I will have rest
When I understand
And I will laugh
When I hold you again.

Remember This

Remember This 12/27/2012

The great white storm
Has dropped its gray drizzle
Coming down in frozen silver sheets
All over the house
And all over the streets.

I sleep under the covers
As long as I can
Hiding in the dark
To forget who I am.

The fever kept coming back
For three and a half days
Chilling my bones
And burning my head.

The words came to me
In rapid fire succession
Perfectly phrased
And flowing.

And I tried to remember them
As I drifted off to sleep
But I still lost them
In the dark
And in my sleep.

The fever broke
And I am better
But all I thought about
Is forgotten
And lost.

Other men have lived
And other men have died
But how much more
Could they tell us
If only we knew.

They too had dreams
And they also loved
Even if tragic
And even if doomed.

They aspired
And I am sure they tried
Not any worse than you
Or me.

There is much unsaid
And much unrecorded
Unsung and unheralded
Forgotten and lost.

But they left us something
Priceless and enduring
The experiences of a lifetime
And the world they knew.

In philosophy, literature, and history
In culture, values, and deeds
A treasure worth remembering
All laid at our feet.

The gift of knowing
The good and the bad
Because there is nothing
New under this dead sun.

A gift of knowledge
About the horror of control
And the creeping hands of the few
To manipulate the many.

About the violence of dictators
Worshipped as Gods
Murdering millions
Rendered defenseless
And dumb.

We could stay asleep
And pretend everything’s okay
Sucking up all the messages
Predictable and sanitized.

Like good little lambs
And we keep our heads down
Always belittled
And always berated.

But for me
It’s time to kick off the covers
And it’s time to dust off the dirt
Shaking off the sleep
Of weeks, months, and years.

Because it isn’t about me
But rather those I love
Brought into this world
For me to leave behind.

Others can say what they want
And they can do what they will
But in the end
The truth remains
The same as before.

So I shall rise
And do the best I can
Fighting long after
All is hopeless
And lost.

Leaving the best thing
I could ever give
The gift of inspiration
And remembrance.

Doomsday Cowboy

Doomsday Dark 12/21/2012

A cold wind blasts my face
And you can see my breath
Hanging in the air
As I walk down the gray streets
Like so many days before.

Another day of the same
And another day
Slogging it out
In a mindless bureaucracy
More dead than alive.

The world grinds on
Even as the machines rust
Slowly lurching forward
And groaning
Under the strain.

We get tired
And we get impatient
Just waiting for something to give
Or something to change.

I have not given up
And I am still here
More defiant than ever
And twice as determined.

Maybe things will get better
Or maybe they will get worse
But either way
The fight goes on.

For every end
There is also a beginning
And for every loss
There is renewal
And growth.

Even the unthinkable
Can never stop love
For love survives
Even horror and death.

The spirit is strong
And I can feel it now
Surging in my veins
And discharging
Out my fingers.

The words come out
Like machine gun fire
Rapidly flowing
From heart to hand.

There were days
I did not think I would make it
When I thought I would die
In misery and rejection.

There are things
I will never understand
But then again
What is reason
In a world gone insane.

The end comes
Not when we watch
But on all the days
When we forget
And fall asleep.

It comes upon us
Like a friend with a knife
Slipping it in our backs
And twisting it slowly.

God looks down
And sees our lives
Spread out on a ruler
Knowing our decisions
And our prayers.

He who has made us
Also sees our end
Even as we speak
And even as we think.

Everything that was
Or ever will be
Strung out over a flat surface
In a single field of vision.

We will never be perfect
And we will never be finished
But the new world will never come
Until this one is over
Fully ripe and rotten.

I have not given up
And I am still here
More defiant than ever
And twice as determined.

There is nothing to stop us
And there is nothing left to fear
Nothing but endless opporutnity
To succeed or fail.

These are trying times
And it is easy to become complacent
Distracted
And shallow.

It is easy to give in
And surrender to the tides
Letting the prevailing winds
Drive us into oblivion.

God only knows
What more we must suffer
But as for me
I pray for the strength
To never give an inch
And always seek the truth.

So here is to the survivors
Who are still standing
The last battallion
Of warrior poets.

Not all victory is in the flesh
And not even the ghosts
Know the day and the hour
When at last we understand.

But blessed are the men
Who believe without seeing
In a world greater than this
And brighter than the sun.

Splinters

Splinters 12/20/2012

Some shall go gently
Into that long night
But others shall fall hard
Head over heels
And onto their swords.

One chapter ends
And another begins
A natural break
In the story of man.

It could be slow
Or it could be quick
The change in the air
By rule, thought, or disaster.

How long will it be?
Before our thoughts are searched
And our DNA scanned
Knowing every move
And every idea.

Who will decide
Who shall live or die
And who shall judge the powers
Of oligarchs’
And dictators.

Such is the folly of man
Giving away all his choices
For nothing
But propaganda
And lies.

One thing leads to another
And everything we see
Is twisted beyond recognition
Force fitted into a narrative
That no one will question.

The world may not be ending
But man has run his course
Ruining everything he touches
And everything that works.

Taking everything and giving nothing
We throw over the rope
And string it tight
Killing ourselves and killing the future
Just to get what we want.

What fools are the short sighted
Who only see how it looks
Condemning their children to mediocrity
Just to feel good about themselves.

Blind to the wisdom of the ages
That a man is at his best
When he does what is right
Striving for what is higher
No matter if he suffers
Or hurts.

False pride is the feeling
Of a new and deadly sun
Feeding the flames of hatred
And envy.

Tomorrow may not be the end
As things do not always happen on cue
But rather when we lay down to sleep
Sigh, and close our eyes.

A Great tree
Contains many splinters
But only one matchstick
Can burn a forest.

The many can swarm the good
And they can kill a few
But the fire they start
Can quickly turn
Burning themselves
Roasted and dead.

Smoke Rings

Smoke Rings 12/18/2012

Like birds fighting over a fishbone
So is the saga of man
Pulling and tugging at nothing
And falling all over ourselves.

We work and strive for a better life
But all of it disappears in a second
As we huddle together
And wait for the end.

Evil has a mind
And evil has a face
Cold, gaunt, skeletal
Cold and demonic.

The young go to heaven
While we live in hell
Spoon fed by television
How to act, think, and feel.

Today may not be the end
And maybe not tomorrow
But nothing lasts forever
And neither will we.

But for every puppet
There is a hand
And for every message
There is a story.

We are played like fools
Until we are too old to fight
And then we walk like sheep
Into that good night.

If life is such a waste
Then why not be a rebel
Sticking out our heads
Just enough to be noticed.

What is the worst
That any man can do
Nothing but push us
Back down
Or call us names.

Some may suffer
But all men suffer
And some may die
But all men die.

Better it is to die a free man
Surviving by his wits
And tenacity
Then it is to die
In the safety of slavery
And lies.

For what is life
But a thin wisp of smoke
Better to be used wholly
Than wasted on the way.

Ebb and Flow

12/17/2012 Ebb and flow

Time wears down the senses
And makes us numb to the gore
Desensitizing the good
And emboldening the worst.

Rising up inside
In fevered desires
An evil inspiration
Hatched by the times.

Powerful men
Care only for themselves
As they do their best to lie
And force out
Crocodile tears.

Welcome to the end
And welcome to the beginning
A future and the past
Bathed in blood
And running away.

The doors are broken down
And they have come off their hinges
Letting in the monsters
To eat their own.

The innocent cry out for protection
Just like they knew
They would
Ready for any false savior
To enslave us all.

Behold the horror of man
And beware the false promises
Because barbarity is coming
For you and for me.

Many have died in silence
Because they were too afraid to speak
And many have been persecuted
Because they dared not interfere.

The poetry goes on
And we are blind to the truth
That some are unreachable
Soulless and dead.

There is no mercy
In a world gone insane
And there is no escape
Without courage and loss.

Evil is real
Now more than ever
Rearing its hoary head
In vacant minds.

You can blame anybody
If you have a megaphone
Drowning out the opposition
In a one-sided lie.

God lives
And he will claim the good
Spending his wrath upon the worm
Writhing in our brains.

Though they hide in caves
He will find them
And though they exalt themselves
He shall humble them.

Dangerous Girls

Dangerous Girls 12/14/2012

I should have seen it coming
And I should have never tried
Because what man can love a ghost
And ever live at all.

I should have run away
Instead of asking for more
But what can man ever do
When he thinks
He is in love.

I didn’t know then
What I know now
But I thought I knew it all
The first time
We met.

I could see forever
In her eyes
Serene but spirited
And full of eternity.

But her mouth was full of razors
That cut both ways
Full of wit and candor
That cut me in half.

I should have known
Not to play with fire
But like a child
The flame always fascinates
And draws me in.

I did not look back
And I did not question
Pursuing her with a passion
That has never faded.

I got what I wanted
But I got a lot more than that
More than I ever could appreciate
And more than I deserved.

I was burned by the sun
And brought down with lies
Dragged around by my feet
For everyone to see
Naked in the street.

I had to pay a price
And for me that was enough
But nobody gets away free
And it’s always more than you think.

She said that I was poison
And then she left me alone
Trying to wrap my arms
Around a memory.

Life happens to everyone
And it also happened to me
Because comfort is more important
Than love
And escape more important
Than obligation.

Every drop is precious
But that is all it takes
As the poison enters the bloodstream
And paralyzes our brain.

I would have done anything
To keep what I had
But losing it all
Was the best thing
For my soul.

I am in her
And she is in me
And nothing can erase
What is true
And what is right.

I will have all I want
And then it will be enough
Far away from here and now
In a new place and time.

Zig Zag

Zig Zag 12/13/2012

Looking back
We remember the ups and downs
The euphoric highs
And the devastating lows.

We forget the in between days
The decades of neutral gray
When nothing changes
Except imperceptible time.

We remember the insults
And when we were wronged
No matter how small
Or accidental.

And we cherish the heady days
Of first loves
And butterfly kisses
No matter how infrequent
Or underserved.

We feel a familiar twinge
When we remember the
Long last looks
And tearful goodbyes.

We live and we learn
But backslide again and again
Always forgetting what matters
And what does not.

The money comes
And the money goes
While we strive
And jostle
Over nothing at all.

I get better
And then I get worse
Rising above one day
And sinking down the next.

Wasting my time
And wasting our lives
Measuring our value
Against imaginary standards
And subjective lies.

But all of this and more
Is what makes us who we are
The getting up and going to work
Every single day.

The moments when we resisted the urge
To strike out in anger
Or when we did what was right
Even if it hurt.

It can take a lifetime
To master our emotions
And the fight never ends
Against egoism and pride.

But the fight goes on
Whether we know it or not
The war within
And the war without.

But every time we stand
And every time we smile
Even in bitter loss
We become worthy
And more than a conquerer.

The Safe Room

The Safe Room 12/12/12

Sometimes I laugh
And sometimes I smile
But no matter how hard I try
I still feel the loss.

I am no longer safe
And I am no longer foolish
Sold out and forgotten
By those who swore to protect
And defend.

My home is gone
And my world unrecognizable
A paradise lost
And ravaged by time.

Some have awakened
And some still sleep
But others sleep forever
In the dirt
And in the dust.

They have hidden themselves
And protected their treasure
Hiding behind privilege
And authority.

Wise in their own eyes
They have betrayed the fallen
And condemned their children
To a life of servitude
And derision.

Sitting in safety
In glass and steel towers
They skew the truth
Any which way they like.

Never held accountable
And never telling the truth
They hide behind the same old stories
We have all heart before.

Look around
And you will see the reality
That horrible sinking feeling
That the best days
Are gone.

Our minds are poisoned
And our future is a sham
Unsustainable and untenable
And saturated with blood.

They look the other way
And ridicule the good
While a cruel and barbarous
Men steal everything they can.

But no matter how much they try
They will never succeed
Because some of us are awake
And some of us
Will survive.

The payment will come due
For all the pain they have wrought
And it will paid in full
Forever.

Be not intimidated
And be not afraid
Because sometimes things get worse
Before the tide turns.

Star Fall

Star Fall 12/11/2012

The world is full of poets
But the world has no heart
Nothing but an endless stream of childishness
That we have all heard before.

There is no one to blame
And there is no one to punish
Not for what we are
And not for where
We are going.

Getting angry doesn’t help
But giving in is worse
Because even an animal
Grows bolder
Whenever he senses fear.

There is no need to run
And there is no need to complain
Because the answer is as obvious
As the sun.

Look today and notice
What it is
That roams the street
And who it is
That murders.

Nothing can change
The truth outright
And mere words
Are nothing but a joke.

The silence says it all
Everything we should have known
A tacit form of approval
In accordance with their view.

At star fall
Everything will change
But it will be too late
For apologies
Or excuses.

The heavens shall shake
And fall upside down
As men run
And try to hide.

But the good have nothing to lose
And they have nothing to fear
Because without loss
There is no growth
And without an end
There is no beginning.

Dead Dawn

Critical Mass 12/10/2012

They say that time
Heals all wounds
But that is not always true
Because it’s the old wound
That cut me the deepest
And heals from the inside out.

She took out my heart
But never closed up
The hole
A gaping, sucking, ditch
Full of blood and pus.

Bleeding forever
And never closing
A deep, black crevasse
Always empty
And aching.

I will never be as beautiful
As I was then
And I will never be as self assured
Or as safe.

The easy smile are gone
And nothing will bring them back
Because everything that was good
Is desolate,
And abandoned.

The man that I was
Might as well be dead
Buried facing downwards
With a knife in his back.

But who should be surprised
And who should be shocked
Because that is the way of men
Who put themselves
Ahead of God.

They have made their world
And this is what they will own
Taking everything they can
And tipping everything over the side.

The critical moment has come
As the locusts consume the harvest
Carrying away every last shred
Until nothing remains.

But nothing lasts forever
And even the plagues
Shall spend themselves
Dying in heaps
At the side of the road.

Even the good die
And even the noble
Often lose
But in the end
Just like the beginning
Vengeance is Gods.

Solitaire

Solitaire 12/6/2012

Man is strong
But we also need each other
And there is nothing worse
Than loneliness
And rejection.

Not every child is loved
And not every child is taught
Becoming man made monsters
By abuse and neglect.

These are the things
That trouble the heart
And haunt our dreams
Burning images into our brains
That never die.

I have no answers
For the cruelty of man
Beyond my comprehension
Dark and alien.

And I have no explanation
For the selfishness of fools
Operating without a conscience
And corrupting everything they love
And everything they touch.

They shall get their reward
And fall upon their words
Reaping the harvest
That they have sown.

I was loved enough to know
How much it can hurt
And now that I have lived,
And lost
I know what it’s worth.

A gaping hole
Is in my heart
And it bleeds
Into my chest.

Sapping away my strength
And aching every day
Always searching for what is missing
And will never return.

The journey upward
Is hard
And the road home
Is full of suffering.

But without pain
How would we ever know
The value of new beginnings
And redemption.

Now my eyes are opened
And now my heart understands
Growing closer to God
Inch by inch.

Stagger

Dead Man's Stagger

Today is like any other day
Another day at the office
And another day at the trough
Sitting in our chairs
And taking what we get.

No one asks questions
And no one rocks the boat
Because it doesn’t matter what we think
If all that matters
Is how it looks.

We pretend we don’t notice
What happens outside
And we pretend that everything’s okay
As the world implodes.

I work my day
And collect my check
Motivated by fear
And never by hope.

Too burdened by debt
And too exhausted to care
Our minds numb
And our hearts heavy.

Watched every minute
We are told what to believe
Because the truth is forbidden
And freedom is betrayed.

The day will come
When no one remembers
What it was
That we had
And what it was
We lost.

I am a number
And so also are you
Nothing but a nuisance
And an obligation.

You can never solve a problem
If you can’t say what it is
And you can never make a difference
If the truth is demonized.

It is all around us
And grows in the dark
A creeping infection of the spirit
Killing us every day.

Killing our nerves
And deadening our senses
Making the living full of regret
And walking like the dead.

A heaviness fills the air
And a hopelessness drags me back
Pulling me downwards
And into the ground.

Soon the dead shall live
And the living shall cry
Because all the time in the world
Has never been enough
Neglected, wasted,
Murdered and abused.

Artifact

Artifact 12/4/2012

I want to go home
And walk in the door
To see the warm yellow lights
And drink red wine.

To roll in the leaves
And play football in the yard
Back like we used to do
A long time ago.

To smell the air
And look at the trees
Huge gnarled and ageless
Towering over the house.

I want to crawl in the attic tunnel
All around the eaves
To rediscover the treasure
Buried in memory.

The place where I dreamed
And the place where I read
Under the falling plaster
And the dust of ages.

I can feel the wood
Even now with my hands
And I can hear the creaks
Of the basement stairs.

It has a stillness
And it had a feel
Heavy with the past
And magic.

But now I am far away
And there is no going back
Not to what was
Or might have been.

Regret is a lump in your throat
A jagged piece of glass
That you can never swallow
Or spit out.

I have tried enough to know
That loss and longing
Will kill the soul
And cripple the spirit.

Dragging you down
Into a hole
And covering you with dirt
Forever.

I live in a faceless world
Alone in a sea of people
Devoid of all spirit and character
Passionless and cruel.

Many are dead
And many have left
But most have given up
And run away instead.

And am on the brink
Holding on to what I can
Tied to diminishing returns
And drowning in the drink.

There is no one to blame
And there is no one to ask
Along again
As I always was
Living in my dreams.

My words are not enough
And life will always hurt
Until I break through
And open my eyes.

Bloody Water

Blood in the Water 12/3/2012

Some days are longer than others
But still they pass bye
And die in the night
Gone forever
And impossible to retrieve.

The good and the evil die
And in the morning
Everything is the same
The birds chirp
And the sun rises.

Gradually the frost gives way
Coffee warms the blood
And we log in
For another try
And another day.

The news is the same as yesterday
As murder, suicide and horror
Unravels across the world
Incrementally growing
Every single day.

A whole world is dying
And a whole experience is gone
Passing by almost unnoticed
Invisible and gray.

We mourn the loss in the different ways
And many men have felt the pain
Of quiet longing for simple pleasures
Freedom and tranquility.

But the loss is not ours
And the killers are exposed
Loudly boasting
And rolling in the dirt.

They bar their teeth
And they frolic in the water
As tiny rivulets of blood
Run off their backs
And cloud the sea.

Pray for the ghosts
And pray for the spirits
Because their time is at hand
Thundering across the sky.

A great clash shall come
And it has already happened
The future overlapping the past
And the past predicting the end.

Teeth of the Hydra

Teeth of the Hydra 11/30/2012

Spider webs are not made overnight
And a paralyzed prey
Need not be killed immediately
Drained of blood
Or eaten outright.

The heads of the hydra
Hiss and snap
And the battle seems unwinnable
And submission inevitable.

But we are not prey by nature
And paralysis is a choice
As we slowly succumb
To self delusion.

We are told that resistance is futile
And that the tide is inevitable
As the statistics converge
And the numbers dwindle.

A secret slaughter has started
And numberless are the dead
Murdered while defenseless
To kill the promise
And thin the herd.

But this is not the first time
The man has tilted the scales
And the future is like the past
Doomed to fail again.

A voice cries out
And says the day has come
When one comes before
And another after
The first the lesser
And the second the greater.

The truth has no perspective
And truth has no pride
Larger than their hatred
And larger than their minds.

Come quickly
And do what you will
Because the good suffer
And die on the vine.

My hopes and my prayers
Go upwards from my head
Ascending to heaven
To knock at his door.

The horses are ready
And so are the saints
Armed with immortal truth
And ready to ride.

Silent Smile

Silent Smile 11/29/2012

To be happy
Is to make a choice
But misery comes uninvited
Until we learn
How to love.

To know wisdom
Is to discern
Good from evil
And the truth from lies.

Patience is the hardest thing
That I have ever learned
As hours become days
And weeks become years.

If we could see terror coming
There would be no surprise
The obvious enemy
Charging up our shores.

But evil doesn’t always work
The way it has before
So it will try to still sneak in
Just to even the score.

Hidden in the shadows
And wearing a disguise
Just to get inside
And kill us from behind.

But the sun shall find the problem
And concentrate its rays
Magnified though a glass
Burning away the foolish,
Hateful, and crass.

There are always second chances
And sometime there are more
But nothing is forever
As the knob rattles
And cracks open the door.

The foolish have their time
But even this
Shall come to an end
Over ripe and overwrought
Thunderstruck and dead.

But as for me
I learned to smile
Burning them through
Every time we meet.

The mountains have fallen
And the world spins
Wildly off its axis
But I remain unmoved
And unimpressed.

What is given
Is never earned
And what is taken
Can never be owned.

My smile is warning
And my happiness a flame
Smoldering beneath the surface
And flashing in my eyes.

Now I know
And there is no turning back
Man from memory
Ancient and true.

The good have won
And all is finished
Just around the corner
Secret and sure.

A Righteous Death

A Righteous Death 11/28/2012

In a time of lies
The truth equals rebellion
And in a time of hatred
It pays to watch your back.

People do what they see
And people see what they want
And I can feel it
Every day
And in every way.

Life doesn’t always go as planned
And the world has its own madness
Mindless, horrific
Ignorant and

As a dog senses fear
So does the predator
Stalk his prey
Always looking for something
They can never produce.

If what you worked for is lost
What are you to say
And what are you to do
Nothing but a day dream
All used up
And washed away.

Reclaiming a life isn’t easy
But neither is truth
And many a rebel has been cut
Tortured and killed.

What is persecution
To regret
And what is glory
To a righteous death.

All men die
And all men suffer
But only a few
Will ever know
What it means to lose
And conquer.

Slogging

Slogging 11/27/2012

If I could leave today
Where would I go
And I there ever was a reason
I have already forgotten.

It sure isn’t easy
Walking uphill
With your guts falling out
And your head in your hands.

It kind of makes you think
And makes you second guess
About what matters
And what it is worth.

I am lost
In between lost generations
Drifting in the sea
Rudderless and

I hardly feel a thing
And I can hardly remember when
Back when I felt
And was sure that I knew.

Everything that I loved
Has unwound
Like a ball of yarn
Leaving me tangled
And tied up in knots.

There is no escape
Without pain
And there is no growth
Without loss.

I didn’t think
I was going to make it
And I didn’t think
I would survive.

As one thing became another
And all the walls came down
Leaving me with nothing
And nowhere to go.

But how could we stand
If we knew the future
And who could ever survive
The heartache
And the agony.

For I did not know
What it would feel like
To give away my life
And follow.

The whirlwind has come
And I have reaped a harvest of blood
More bitter than I could stand
And harder than I imagined.

But even though I was buried
And even though I thought I might die
You were there
Every step of the way.

Giving me strength
And giving me hope
Restoring all I lost
And so much more.

Step by step
And day by day
Closer to you
And closer to me.

Plastic Intersection

Plastic Intersection 11/26/2012

The world is like an ant farm
Set up on a table
A universe enclosed in plastic
Transparent and sealed.

We dig our tunnels
From one point to another
And connect them together
Building cities
And furiously striving
To eat and survive.

But our world is flat
And self contained
Enclosed with boundaries
No man can cross.

And there is nothing hidden
And nothing secret
As we struggle
And spin our wheels.

Living in a straight line
All we see
And all we do
From the beginning to the end
Height, width, and depth.

Our times play out
From one end to another
And viewed all at once
From another dimension
We cannot touch.

We can sink in our teeth
And suck out the juices
And carry the dead on our backs
But nothing can change
Who we are
And what we do.

God can tip us over
And God can dump us out
Crushing us at will
Or save us with a finger.

He knew me before
And he knitted my bones together
Loving me before I knew
And loving me anyway.

Dead Reckoning

Dead Reckoning 11/21/2012

Better ask for the check
Because it’s almost time to go
Its getting dark outside
And heads are going to roll.

Nothing ever changes
And some people never grow
Until the lid comes off
And we see who survives
And who will fold.

You can look at the stars
And you can look for the signs
Navigating by satellite
From one place to another.

But if you remember where you started
And if you remember who you are
You can see the difference
And measure the distance.

Stare ahead and see the truth
On the street
And on the computer screen
Screaming out for us to notice
The horror and the loss.

Chaos and brutality
Violence and humiliation
As every last shred of decency
Is attacked again and again.

But this is not the first time
That we have fallen
But this shall be the last time
That the good are murdered.

Nothing is secret
And nothing is forgotten
All of it remembered
Catalogued and stored.

Vengeance is coming
And nothing shall hold it back
Bearing down upon the guilty
And only a step behind.

You can almost feel it building
Beneath the surface
Has the ignorant spew hatred
And laugh and dance.

Their time is coming to an end
And it shall be thorough and complete
With no regrets
And no survivors.

But for those who choose
We shall endure
And we shall win
No matter what we lose.

And all of this
Will make sense
At last, everything will be known
And understood.

All of the suffering and all of the pain
Will be seen for what it was
The growing pains of struggling spirits
On our way to knowledge and wisdom.

Truth will emerge
And devour the world
Silencing all the accusers
Once and for all.

The man who lives as a savage
Is no man at all
Nothing but evil
Answered with a vengeance
Inevitable and sure.

The Gulag

The Gulag 11/19/2012

The Future creeps with every decision
Evacuating the past
And flooding the present
Only to wash us out
Back to where we started.

My thoughts and ideas
Are not new or unique
For everything that is
Has been dreamed before.

I am a container
A sack of flesh and bone
A seat for the soul
And a prison for the spirit.

We experience life
On a field of four dimensions
Trapped in a petri dish
And watched every day.

Free to fumble in the dark
And struggle to survive
But always succumbing in the end
And floating on our sides.

The joke is on us
While we fight and flail
Just keeping our heads above water
And afraid of ourselves.

If we knew our own power
Then nothing could hold us back
Free to make the world over
Any time we wished.

No mountain could block us
And no ocean to separate us
As we knew when to act
And what to do.

Doubt has killed many
And hesitation has made the difference
As we go against our instincts
And shake hands
With the devil.

What glory could we have
If we stood the test
Standing by our children
And never giving up.

If we chose to be happy
With what we have
Instead of always searching
And looking to escape.

Courageous enough to defend
All the blessings we know
Instead of bargaining in our minds
And looking the other way.

Tyranny would never survive
And injustice would fade away
If only we knew
How to say no.

The Fishbowl

The fishbowl 11/16/2012

There is nothing more silent
Than the sky at night
Covering the earth
Like a thick heavy blanket.

I stand and wait
For something to change
Like a comet
Blazing across the sky.

Nothing happens
And nothing changes
Except me
And all that I am.

Time is like a ruler
Laid out on a table
Straight and narrow
Flat and dead.

And I am like a stick figure
Scribbled on the paper
Created out of boredom
In the middle of a day dream.

I live and I learn
But I can never escape
Flattened by gravity
And crushed by the rod.

No longer does the night
Hold any mystery
And no longer do I feel
That I should understand.

I am lonely
And there is no one to blame
Even though I really did try
Because somebody always has to lose
And somebody has to die.

I am not surprised
Because I always knew
That nothing is forever
And everything decays
No matter how well protected
Or loved.

But life goes on
And we give up more
Until we have learned it all
And have nothing left to give.

Only to linger in fevered delrium
As our breathing becomes shallow
Until we gasp like a fish
And die in our bed.

The dead are free
And the dead don’t care
Above and beyond
Smoky and pure.

They see me
Both the beginning and the end
Always struggling
Blind and dumb.

Blazing comets are beautiful
And a burning meteor is surreal
Few and far between
Like love and fury.

But rather they are gifts
To be cherished
And remembered
Beautiful, rare,
Sweet, and pure.

Voices

Voices 11/15/2012

I listened to your voice mail
For two years
Until my old phone died
And it was gone.

Soft and soothing
Sweet and sincere
A memory from far away
And long ago.

I was at the bar
Trying to drink away the pain
When I missed your call
And never heard the ring.

You said you loved me
And it was all I had
After you were gone
And all was lost.

Slit me open
To see how I died
But it is an old wound
That did all the damage

It never stopped bleeding
And sapping my strength
Just as deadly in the end
As it was then.

Something had a hold on me
And I did not know
Or understand
How exactly I should live
And how I should act.

I always loved you
And that will never change
Even though it is wasted
Like water on a rock.

It took me a long time
To get to this place
Where I could be at peace
And feel the difference
Between need, love,
Desires, and pride.

Now I see
Because my eyes are opened
And I will never be the same
As I was then.

I wish so much
That you could see me now
Because I would love you
Ten times better
And never let go.

But soon
Our spirits will fly
Free of gravity
And free of time.

Soaring to great heights
Like eagles
And falling together
With locked talons.

Black Box Coffin

The Dead Box 11/13/2012

There's a crucifix around my neck
And I sleep on a satin pillow
Whispering secrets to the ghosts
That have painted on my arms.

Time passes over
And leaves us behind
Just waiting for the call
That never seems to come.

It’s been a long time coming
And I have been waiting forever
Looking up and watching the clock
Locked up and buried
Inside of a box.

My skin is pale
But my heart is black
Preserved for centuries
And made of dust.

The years pass by
And everything slips away
As inevitable as time
And cold vengeance.

But when the does the day come
When all things are finished
And we have had enough
When we throw off the lid
And rise up.

Imagine if you had no conscience
And imagine if you had no soul
Nothing but a cipher
Filled with hatred
And conceit.

A self serving sociopath
Always insulting and always arrogant
Blaming others
For what you had done.

Willing to do anything
Just to win
And get your way
Unhindered by decency
Or honor.

Taking advantage of the foolish
And the feeble minded
Knowing who to bribe
And where to cheat.

Protected by the blind
And insulated from criticism
Lying every day
And covering up your tracks.

And people are just pawns
To be manipulated and used
Hung out to dry
And left dangle in the flames.

The cut outs will take the blame
And all their secrets exposed
Anything to get your way
And blame someone else.

But even this shall end
Oh yes it will
And sooner than they think
Everything will change.

Its not okay
And its not alright
That the good are murdered
And buried at night.

Liars will lie
And pretend
They are justified
But the truth is the truth
By slaughter or suicide.

I move my hands
And stretch out my legs
Ready to kick off
The dirt and the lid.

Sleepers will sleep
And liars will lie
But the dead shall speak secrets
That only God can know.

The Octopus

The Octopus 11/9/2012

I work in a big building
That has many rooms
Filled with people, computers
And miles of tape.

A many tentacled octopus
Who grows every day
Slipping in through the cracks
To tell us how to live.

It tells us
What to eat
And it tells us
What to think.

Watching every move
And controlling every outcome
Holding many secrets
And never telling the truth.

It is patient and it is quiet
Waiting for the right moment
To take what it wants
Sneaking in to help
And never letting go.

It can tell you what you are worth
And it can tell who you are
Holding nothing sacred
To get what it needs.

The monster is a beast
And it has very sharp teeth
Enough to swallow us whole
Like we never lived at all.

If you want to know what happened
I can tell you that now
The same thing as yesterday
All decided in advance
And all fixed for sure.

It decides what is fair
And it decides what is right
Without any heart
And without any soul.

Born of the world
And made up of men
Unchecked and unbalanced
And hungry for control.

I am a cog
And I am a human
Nothing but a piece
To be used until broken
And thrown away in the end.

Only God can defeat it
And I am sure that he will
Hopefully sooner than later
Completely crushed
Forever.

Whisper Wood Drive

Whisper Wood Drive 11/8/2012

The world is crowded with ghosts
Walking in my footsteps
And snatching at my throat
Trying to trip me up
So they can watch me fall.

In the city they fly
Between the buildings
And up to the roofs
Soaring in and out
And shrieking in the night.

In the country
They hide in the forest
Behind the tree trunks
And in the tree limbs
Silent and black.

I listen for the voices
But they are hard to hear
Those left behind
And those conveniently forgotten.

I wonder what they think of me
And I wonder what they dream
With their blood still on the ground
And their bodies blown to bits.

They are here
And just as real
As you and me
Except they see what we cannot
And so much more.

They see the truth
While we see
What we want
And they see everything
While we see nothing.

We beat a dead horse
And they cling to the past
Unable to let go
And unable to escape.

Behold our fate
As tragic as the rest
Still chained to the past
And all the old wounds.

Howl at the moon
And shout at the living
Because they will never listen
To the lessons of the fallen
And the dreams of the past.

I sleep in a bed
With Ghosts in my thoughts
Creeping back into the present
Underneath the covers
And inside of my head.

Telling me things I never knew
And stroking my hair
Softly whispering that I am loved
And all is well.

They are free
But I am asleep
As dead to the world
As I am to me.

The Reaper

The Reaper 11/8/2012

Light a candle
And turn off the lights
Shut the door
And stare into a mirror.

Do it now because
All the masks have fallen
And we shall see and know
All the faces of death.

We can rise up
And never back down
Unafraid
And fearless.

Or we can take a gun
And put it to our head
Pulling the trigger
And bang we are dead.

Now all eyes are opened
And now its easy to see
All the fools in the world
Here, there and everywhere.

With their nose in the air
And their minds in the gutter
Bobbing their heads
And waving their hands.

I tread softly down the street
With the biggest stick around
Hidden inside my skull
And connected to my hands.

Evil has a grip on the world
And small men
Are drunk with its power
Looking at the humble with contempt
And their followers
With laughter.

But someone larger is in control
And he shall bring them down
Destroyed and disgraced
But not by human hands.

The long march uphill
Is not without its hazards
As many slide downwards
And devolve along the way.

Falling into the primordial soup
Where they just sit and wait
Fed and watered by someone else
Always waiting to be rescued
And always wanting more.

But I have dug in my heels
And I grasp with my hands
Ever upward
And ever higher.

Words are cheap
And no man can go forward
If he is always looking backwards
To things that have happened
And failed every time.

Many great men have fallen
And some are beaten in the street
Attacked without warning
And stomped on the ground.

No one asks why
And no one dares to speak
But only a fool can stay quiet
At the carnage on the street.

Even a few
Have done great things
When committed to a cause
And fearless.

I am not afraid
And neither should you
Because what can man do
That can last forever.

Struggling ever higher
And going against the grain
No matter how much it hurts
Or what you are called.

Some might call me the devil
And they may hate the way I look
But I am not going to hell
Like the one
That thrives
Here on the earth.

"Soon" is the whisper
That I hear in the wind
As waves of leaves
Surge across the grass
Sending a shiver up my spine
And cold air in my lungs.

All the mighty shall fall
And even the kings shall be humbled
And every man judged
By the truth
Stark, unforgiving,
Pure and deadly.

Ramrod

Ramrod 11/6/2012

If there is a time
Then let it be now
And if there is a place
Then let it be here.

If a man has anything
Then let it be his destiny
Charting his own course
For the better
Or the worse.

And let his life be his own
Uncategorized
And unfettered
True to his own merit
For once and for all.

The hard path
Leads to glory
Even if its difficult
And full of danger.

But the easy path
Leads to death
Sure and safe
Guided by others
All the way down.

Freedom has never been free
And blood has watered the ground
For liberty
Over and over again.

Man seeks safety
And man seeks approval
Giving in
And giving up.

But every man should know
That safety is not worth slavery
And security a joke
When all men die.

We hang by our fingertips
Off a steep and mighty cliff
With nothing to save us
But tenacity and defiance.

The weak have made their beds
And foolishly they will fall
Useful as a shovel
And dumb as rock.

Used up and discarded
At the very first chance
And bitten by the dogs
That they have fed.

Upside down and backwards
We look through a concave mirror
Viewing the past
And guessing the future.

The mercury is in the cylinder
And the rotation is about to start
As one thing leads to another
And the flesh melts away.

The future will happen
No matter which way we turn
Either sooner or later
The truth shall emerge.

Evil shall spend its power
In a few months or years
Exploding outwards in a rage
To take all it can.

But if not today
And not tomorrow
Then soon enough for sure
All this shall pass away
And man shall be judged
Squarely at last.

There will be no excuses
And there will be no exemptions
Nothing but the heart
And nothing but the soul.

God shall speak
And all shall listen
Without special privileges
Or false protection.

We shall live by our merit
And shall love without condition
At last as we should have been
Long ago and far away.

The spirit is strong
And no evil shall prevail
Even though we doubt
And even though we fail.

Come quickly
And let us see your hand
Greater than our ideas
And foolish faith in man.

Dead Lovers, and The Choice

Dead Lovers 11/5/2012

It was more than a feeling
The way that I loved
A deep and fast moving river
Flowing through my heart.

I gave myself over totally
And leaped with drunken abandon
Headlong off a cliff
And into her arms.

Opening up myself
And opening up my heart
Without reservation
Or cautious restraint.

I indulged myself
And paid little attention
To what others might think
Or what she would need.

Assuming that what she wanted
Was the same as me
And always at the same time
Foolish, selfish,
Thoughtless and dumb.

For a moment
I felt it
On top of the world
With everything I needed
And everything I wanted.

I had it all
But I always wanted more
Always impatient
And never satisfied.

I wanted more than she could give me
And more than the world could offer
As I raged against what was wrong
I forgot to appreciate
What was right.

By the time I knew contentment
It was already too late
And I never saw the knife coming
Before it stuck in my back.

But that is the cruelty of man
As we nonchalantly exist
That enemies always circle
And friends covet the most
Preying upon the unsuspecting
Who have let down their guard.

There is nothing worse
Than a man without a conscience
Unhindered by morality
And any code of conduct.

Lying in wait
To steal all he can
And always looking for something
Better than what he has.

Always pursuing money
And always seeking to fill
The empty pit of darkness
Inside of his soul.

Making any promise
And giving any gift
But always for the wrong reasons
And always by deception.

It took me the longest time
To understand what I lost
And it took me even longer
To see what I had done.

That words mean nothing
And useless anger a waste
When a mans value is apparent
By the way that he lives
And acts.

No man is perfect
And neither are our lovers
As love becomes an obligation
And obligation a burden.

We tip toe through life
And casually follow our whims
Never seeing the consequences
Until we feel the sting.

When we flirt with disaster
And survive another day
We think we are immune
And wander ever further
And further away.

Before we know it
We are lost in the muck
Far from where we should have been
Sinking with every effort
To break free.

So she made a choice
To leave me in the clutch
The easier choice by far
Because of my honor
And my code.

I know she tried to save us
And I know she loves me still
Which makes it even harder
To see her stuck
And see her struggle.

Fate brought us low
Both her and also me
As she sunk her teeth into my heart
Sucking out all my blood
Leaving me cold, lifeless
And white as a ghost.

But even the dead
Shall also rise
And I too shall see her again
Up and over
And back at the start.

We shall start over
On the other side of fate
Beyond the bounds of gravity
And sin.

Up and over
We shall be as one
Just as we were meant to be
Joyful, happy and triumphant.



The Choice 11/5/2012

Today is another day
But it’s never too late
To make a change
The first among many
Courageous and decisive.

A good man cannot be content
To swallow what is said
To be hooked, cut, and gutted
And hung out to dry.

Friends and countrymen have disagreements
But always recognize the same problems
Careful to consult their conscience
Every step of the way.

But evil men hate more than they love
Hating and blaming
With people as the problem
And vengeance in their heart.

Hiding their motives
And abusing their powers
To heap pain on the innocent
And excuse the guilty.

Their hated shall sink them
And all that they love
Showing their face
And revealing the truth.

And all the propaganda in world
Can never cover up the truth
Even though they try
And even though they rage
Obfuscate and lie.

Choose the harder path
And strike a blow for justice
Consulting the true God
Over resentment and hatred.

The courageous will always question
What the media culture complex is selling
Never giving up
And never giving in.

Dignity is for all
But respect must be earned
To each for his merit
And to God all the glory.

Diablo

Diablo 11/2/2012


Time is like a line
On a piece of paper
And God sees it all
The beginning and the end.

Just outside of our dimension
Our soul is downloaded
Into the flesh
Like information on a chip
Or data on a crystal.

We think and we breathe
But we cannot penetrate the glass
Separating men
From Demons and Angels.

We occupy a foreign land
And operate in a foreign body
Aliens in a fallen world
All alone and dying.

We fear
What we cannot see
Like shadows in the dark
And bumps in the night.

So we strive to control
And seek to understand
Always assuming
And always failing.

I woke up with my heart pounding
And felt my throat constrict
Unable to sleep
And unable to relax.

I was alone
More alone than ever
Without anyone who really understood
What it meant to have
And what it meant to lose.

But not all the unknown
Is something to be avoided
But rather it is to be embraced
Because it is there that
Anything can happen
No matter how improbable

I will never forget the feeling
And the blood rushing in my ears
As I felt my body dying
As I wept
Warm and bloody tears.

Life hurts
And love destroys
Especially if we really mean it
Deep down in our soul.

My life crumbled before me
And everything turned to dust
And food lost its taste
And drink lost its effect.

Day and night lost all meaning
As time slowed to a stop
As the hours became a blur
Delirious and surreal.

I am not the only one
Who has been left to die
As others watched in silence
And mocked their every move.

There are no words to describe
What it really means
To stand with your head held high
In devastating loss
And horrifying betrayal.

But I lived through the night
And now I laugh anyway
Because the challenge has been met
And evil defeated
Even as it murders
And even as it boasts.

Others may watch
But God is watching them
Above and beyond
And in control.

And I shall not fear the end
And I shall not be defeated
Even though the good are martyred
And drug through the streets.

Soon shall the sky fall
And soon shall the end come
But I am ready to be called
And I am ready to fight.

Do not despair
And never give up an inch
Because woe unto him
Who schemes and plots.

Though they call me the devil
And bray at the moon
God knows the difference
And sees their every move.

Christening the Longship

Christening the Longship 11/1/2012

In a pool of blood
A flower floats
Spinning upside down
And flowing down the gutter.

All that was
Is gone in an instant
And all that we are
Is single puff of smoke.

We think we are safe
And pretend we have forever
As if we could never fail
And never die.

But others to
Have felt this way
Here for centuries
And gone in a day.

The barbarians came to plunder
While the Romans watched their circus
Laughing at death
And drinking their wine.

Argument for the sake of argument
And so full of ourselves
So we spend our time attacking the good
Anything to avoid reality.

But reality is here
As it hungrily consumes the stragglers
Barring its teeth
Dripping with blood.

Just a step away from horror
And a day or two from hunger
We feed all our appetites
While the cities burn.

Call me what you want
And say that I am a devil
But nothing can change what is true
Whether I am right
Or wrong.

The valkyries scream through the air
Picking up the corpses
On their way to vahallah
But yet we still live
Covered in blood.

I wish this all
Was not true
But God has given us a spirit
And warned us
With signs.

We have just scratched the surface
But we should know enough for now
That greater things lie ahead
Than anything we have done.

A light within has opened
And bolts of lightening
Have ignited my heart
Filling me with words
And dread.

Ghost Story

Ghost Story 10/31/2012

How does it feel?
To listen to your breathing
Feeling the struggle
Over and over again.

And what do you think?
When you remember the past
All that you are
And all that you have done.

Does your throat constrict
And your chest tighten
When you consider tomorrow
And all that it means.

Did you think it was over
When I was bleeding out
Or was it after I was buried
Too deep to be found.

Deep down under the ground
Wrapped up in rug
Deep dark and wet
Cold and forgotten.

But you were not thinking of tomorrow
And how all the dead shall rise
To expose the secrets the guilty
And accuse the guilty.

Open up your eyes
And get out of bed
To see if you can see me
Before I slip into the shadows
And inside of your head.

If you look in the mirror
Then maybe you can see me
Just for an instant
A ghost in the reflection.

I have come
And I will live forever
Staring straight through
The windows of time.

The knife is in my back
But it no longer hurts
And my blood is on fire
Burning everything
I see.

Go ahead and lie
And go ahead and run
Because now I live forever
And drip vengeance from my lips.

I am stronger than I was
And I go wherever I want
Moving with my thoughts
Faster than light.

I live in a place
Like the dark side of the moon
In a land of ghosts
White and hungry.

We shall eat
And we shall destroy
Laughing and flying
Like comets in the air.

Blackout

A quick thought on 10/30/2012

I will make this quick
Because time is short
And life is dream
As we fool ourselves into thinking
That all of this is real.

You can see it now
Or you can learn it later
As real as it gets
And ringing in your ears.

It shouldn't take a beating
To know that it hurts
And it shouldn't take rejection
To know how to lose.

You can pretend all you want
But you can't change the truth
Staring you in the face
And hitting you on the head.

And there is no need to suffer
In order to appreciate humility
Even though you will
With blood on your face.

If you want to know
Who is right
And who is wrong
Then you had better see the signs
Unmistakeable
And undeniable.

The truly good
Would never use fear
And never resort to insult
Or childish desperation.

Beacause a man of intellect
Can afford to be humble
And a man of character
Is the best of all.

Slow to anger
And reluctant to blame
Taking on hardship
Without resentment
Or disdain.

Never taking credit
For what he hasn’t done
And never praising himself
Above others.

To be truly great
Is to give of yourself
Loving others
Without restriction
Or petty hatred.

To honor God
Above all
Without excuse
Or shame.

The greatest thing
That I've ever done
Was when I learned
How to endure
Even in pain
And even in loss.

Growing larger
In my humility
And becoming stronger
In rejection.

Life is not about me
And it was never was at all
Nothing but a puff of smoke
Dissolving in the air.

No one may remember my name
And that is fine by me
Because all glory is fleeting
But love is forever.

These words are better than me
And they shall stand
Long after I am gone
A gift of the spirit
Free for you
And free for me.

Spectre

Spectre 10/29/2012

They give us opiates
When what we need is freedom
And they give us a show
When what we need
Is courage.

Turn on the tube
And see what they are selling
Nothing but the lowest common denominator
Dumbed down to nothing.

We worship men
Who are ignorant and shallow
Idolizing cowards
And petty criminals.

Do nothing men
In a do nothing time
Flaunting their wealth
Soulless and dead.

And everything you see
Is nothing but a distraction
Just enough to amuse
And forget.

Go and tell the dead
That this is what is left
Nothing but memories
In a puff of smoke.

Celebrating the worst
While the best die
Crushed by the heavy silence
Of unacknowledged sin.

Look to the sky
And scream at the silence
Looking for the spectre
That will never come.

Down with the king
And all of his protectors
Smug, hateful,
And naked in the sun.

The last vision
Should be something better
Than dying alone
Abandoned by hope.

Strike a blow for liberty
Because all is worthless
Without freedom
A small and silent decision
To be felt and remembered.

Eleven Eleven

Eleven Eleven 10/26/2012

No two people are alike
And I am more different
Than anything they understand
And my thoughts are a mystery
Bound to the same physics
But dedicated to destroy.

And it is no accident
That I feel this way
An aberrant personality
On a collision course with time.

I am a child of the nuclear age
And a son of a deep black collider
Unexpected and unknown
As white as a ghost
And as deadly as poison.

I have not come to talk
And I have not written
Just to incite
But rather I am the fuse
To set it all off.

The world sucks out our blood
And gorges itself on death
Killing many
For sport and fun.

Men are pawns
To be manipulated
And sacrificed
Used when necessary
And then discarded.

And your character will not mean
A fucking thing
And neither does your heart
Especially if you are the hated
All alone and dead.

They can watch you struggle
And they can watch you die
Nothing but an inconvenience
Heroic and dead.

Intentionally forgetting your name
And covering up the truth
Anything to get their way
And rotting like a fish
From the head to the tail.

The world has turned over
Many times before
But not because of strength
But rather by surrender.

The good were never defeated
Not even once
But they surrendered out of pity
Kindness and exhaustion.

Weak people with weaker minds
Have stolen the truth
Drunk with unearned power
And rotten with pride.

But their time is short
Shorter than they think
And shorter than they know
As they rejoice over the good
Lying in the snow.

Their pride shall fall
And so shall their world
Burned away in an instant
And never to return.

Their hatred shall eat them up
And their lies shall condemn them
Caught in their own trap
And withering on the vine.

They laugh at the good
And they dance around in celebration
Dragging the good through the streets
Naked and defiled.

But they shall perish
Without a thought
And without a body
Burned to ashes
And blown all away.

I see them cavort
And I see them guffaw
But I know the truth
And I know why.

They have disdain
But no value
And they have pride
But no honor.

Let them mock
And let them smile
Because this world shall disappear
And all of them with it.

But no man that fights
Will ever die in vain
And even the defiled corpse
Shall rise to see the end.

Opening up their mouths
To speak out the truth
Condeming the guilty
And exonerating the good.

Lifting up their bloody arms
To point out the guilty
Staring down their murderers
With fire in their eyes.

I shall shout out the truth
And I shall be where I am needed
With nothing left to lose
And everything to gain.

Taking back what was lost
And reaping all of the treasure
More than enough
And overflowing.

The clock ticks away
And we mark off the calendar
Counting down to oblivion
Hour by hour.

Biting the bullet
And dodgeing the motars
Looking upwards through the smoke
To see the hand of God.

Iron Castle

Iron Castle 10/25/2012

Every day and every hour
We decide what to do
And we can either do the same
Or turn the other way.

We can do what we always did
And swallow the blue pill
Or we can wake up
And take it all back.

We can talk about the weather
Or we can talk about sports
Something useless and shallow
Just to pass the time.

Ignoring the smoke
And ignoring the flames
Always burning somewhere else
But always closer
Than before.

They have come for others
But we have looked the other way
As the herd gets thinner
And the stragglers get killed.

How many times
Must anyone wonder
When the truth is ever present
A few keystrokes away.

No longer can we say
That the truth is buried
And no longer can we rely
On the evening news.

They play their violins
As the world falls apart
Giving up and giving in
To the same old lies.

The decades have passed
But still we live in fear
Failing to act
And failing to speak.

But what will we say
And what will we do
When the numbers tilt the wheel
And they come for me and you.

If every man is different
Then let him protect his life
Carving out a future
For those he leaves behind.

But if he finds
That they will be the hated
Then he must rise up
And do what he can.

Putting out the fire
And taking out the trash
Holding down the castle
And resisting all barbarians.

Attrition

Attrition 10/24/2012

There is a war in our heads
And there is a war in our hearts
Killing you and killing me
Slowly but surely.

The same war of a attrition
Exploding in our synapses
Fought inch by bloody inch
Sapping all our strength
And sucking all our blood.

Living in the grip of our emotions
We lash out
At all the wrong times
Always dissatisfied
And horrified.

Some project their mistakes
To protect their pride
Instead of ever growing
Or learning.

Others retreat into themselves
And try to anesthetize the pain
Anyway they can
Whenever they can.

I tried them all
And carried them off a cliff
Falling for what seemed like forever
Until there was almost nothing
Left to lose.

And now I crawl upwards
Hand over hand
Up from the black
And it feels like forever
Since I last knew
Or dreamed.

Always searching for handholds
That never do exist
And wearing down my fingers
Until I can
Barely use my hands.

I tried to do it all
But the end is not up to me
Bigger than what I have
And bigger than what I want.

No matter how hard we fight
And no matter how hard we try
It’s not about me
And it’s not about you.

The fight goes on
And the truth shall stand
Even if we die
And even if we lose.

I can try and do
What is right
But no one man can fix
What so many have broken.

The end shall come
Both for me and for you
But there is no legacy
For the cowards in the drain.

It is never too late
Until it is
And even now
We can see eternity.

Finding the freedom to choose
Between life and death
And giving it our all
Heart, soul, and brain.

Fifty Decades

Fifty Decades 10/22/2012

He hatched his plan, In the night
Because he coveted the life of others
Plotting theft and plotting murder
Just to steal
What was never his.

Plunging a knife
Deep into my back
And tearing apart
My organs and flesh.

Stabbing again and again
As I look backwards
Mouth open in horror
And dying.

My blood has run out
And I have dropped away
Colder and grayer
Dead and forgotten.

They have mocked my memory
And they have stolen my treasure
Boasting of their conquest
From below and behind.

Taunting the dead
They have hid behind the living
Wagering against God
As they laugh and sing.

Erasing my love
And replacing my name
Manipulating every detail
To get what they want.

The days have passed
And I have waited in the ground
Buried under the ruins
Of all that I was.

The seasons change
And the wind blows
For what it seems like forever
Waiting for the change.

But now I can feel it
As the day draws near
That the day is coming
When the earth shall turn.

Here I am
And I am not afraid
Indomitable, defiant
Deliberate and determined.

Soon they will know the horror
The kind that does not end
Flesh from flesh
And Limb from limb.

When they see
They shall be struck with terror
Eyes bulging
And veins popping.

Gnashing their teeth together
They shall beg and plead
But it will be too late for words
And too late for sorry.

The reaping shall come
From all that we have lived
All that we are
And all that we have done.

And I shall fly free
Grazing the tops of trees
And rushing with the wind
More alive than ever
And a thousand times more.

All night long

All Night Long 10/19/2012

My heart is a frozen wasteland
Buried under miles of ice
Impenetrable and dark
Desolate and dead.

The ice age came suddenly
But it still took
A long time to die
Slowly killing cell after cell
As I slowly froze to death.

My blood is gone
Because I have poured it out
Letting it flow
All over the page.

I am a ghost
Who cares not for sentiment
Flying alone
High above the streets.

Climbing up into space
Where it is cold and dark
Millions of miles away
Between distant points of light.

Here you can see forever
And here you can understand the truth
Discerning secrets from lies
And greed from love.

I do not long for this world
For it is dead and dying
Rotten to the core
And oozing deceit.

The dead know the truth
About who, what, where, and when
But they remain silent
At least for now.

If they saw me now
They would turn and run
Because to see is to believe
And to face your sins
A horror.

Busting through the surface
The proof and the promise
A jagged white rock
Uncut by human hands.

Those who hated
And those who murder
Are dead in their tracks
But those who love
Shall feel my embrace
In every gust of wind.

The Black Crumbles

The Black Crumbles 10/19/2012

The angel of death
Hides in the shadows
Floating from doorway to doorway
Unseen and unheard.

Sneaking inside
Underneath the door
To nip at our feet
And circle our necks.

Sucking out our breath
While we sleep
And counting down the minutes
Until we wake up.

As sure as the clock ticks
Our chests rise and fall
Counting down to something
That we will never know.

The white butterflies
Flutter around our heads
Still glowing
And remembering.

You can almost hear their voices
And you can almost feel their thoughts
Those we have known
And those we have lost.

Waiting and waiting
For what seems like forever
Hidden until we sleep
When our thoughts can wander.

The secrets they knew
Become ours
And the reasons they lived
Become the reasons
We endure.

There is more to know
Than what we can prove
Forever beyond our grasp
But forever in our hopes.

The destroyer has taken our pride
But we never needed it at all
Nothing more than foolishness
And wasted time.

Now we are free
And now we fly
Laughing and screaming
Far, fast and high.

Deadfield

Deadfield 10/17/2012

Deadmalls and forgotten places
Can be found anywhere you go
And that is where
You will see the truth
Boarded up, abandoned
And slowly eaten by time.

Rusting factories sit idle
And all the workers stay at home
Living off of handouts
And any which way they can.

Over fed and over dependent
There is always someone else to blame
As they circle the streets
And set it all off
In a column of smoke and flames.

Who has wrought this blight?
And who has let it happen?
Standing by with their hands in their pockets
And letting everything go to hell.

The guilty and the innocent
Share a different kind of shame
One of hatred
And the other of fear.

But it’s not enough to be innocent
And it’s not enough to be silent
As everything crumbles
And weathers away.

Nothing lasts forever
And neither will we
So it’s as good a time as any
To think about the end.

Where should we start?
And what should we do?
With these heaping piles of rubble
And mad dogs in the street.

Many shrug their shoulders
And many curse the day
But what good is that
When time is running out
And there is no where to run.

Others got theirs
But now there is nothing left
As the animals snap and snarl
Over the scraps on the floor.

They can’t remember
What they never knew
And they cannot appreciate
The opportunities they have.

More accustomed to demands
And un contested rewards
We salivate on cue
Just like it is planned.

God help the good
Outnumbered and lost
Suddenly surrounded
Without anywhere to go.

But it will not be a miracle
When the good rout the fools
Because life will always end
Just like it always has.

There are things
That no one can measure
And there are truths
That no one can prove.

Bigger than death
And Larger than a lie
Growing in the background
So everyone can see.

But if they have not awakened soon
Then they shall reap the harvest
Swept away in an hour
And lost forever.




Dead Lovers 10/17/2012

In the end
We will be together
Like two luminous balls of light
Chasing each other across the sky
And shooting flames in the night.

Once we had it all
And now it is gone
Lost to time and error
And forgotten on the ground.

I was still a child in a man’s body
And I had a lot to learn
Not ready for the glory
That was all mine to lose.

I didn’t see the warnings
That I would lose her in the end
Just sleep walking through life
Unaware, deaf, and dumb.

I made her a hostage
To my own emotions
Tossing her all about
With whims and delusions.

I did not know
What I know now
That no man can ever forget
The gift and the price.

I never stopped loving her
And I guess I never will
Star crossed by circumstance
And the cruelty of impatience.

I will never be the same
And I will never be as safe
Feeling my way around
And struggling to love
All over again.

Time passes by
And with time
We learn our mistakes
Even if we can’t make it right
And don’t understand.

But this is a world
Both ruined and lost
Not conducive to love
Or humilty.

But in heaven
A higher love
Endures forever
And never fades or cracks.

For now, we can love
Wherever we are
Still growing and learning
Everything that lasts.

I shall hold her again
In a new and different way
With more love than I thought possible
Streaking across the heavens.

All this shall be ours
More than we ever lost
A higher love
Full, deep, and forever.

I can already feel it
and I am with her now
Because the spirit is strong
And God is great.

Big Bear

Big Bear 10/16/2012

If all the clocks stopped
What would we do?
The same as we always did
And rise with the sun.

And if all our engines stopped
How could we survive?
Without but banding together
Instead of apart.

I was born at the beginning
Of an inevitable end
In a generation of zeros
At the end of the line.

Flickering on and off
And waiting at the exits
Too late to enjoy the fruits
Or exploit the wealth.

The funds have run out
And all our tanks are dry
All of it used up
By the front of the line.

We sit and we sink
And no one will admit why
Dragged down by the weight
Of parasites on our back.

This is not a time for sentimentality
Or for emotional reactions
But rather a time to think
And prepare.

To be what we were meant to be
And to do what is right
No matter what happens
Or how it looks.

I hear the threats
And the I see the looks
Brewing in the streets
And burning in the brains.

They say a wise man
Is slow to anger
And regards others before himself
But if there is a time for everything
Now is a time for thought.

Watch where you go
And watch what you do
Heeding the eye
In the back of your head
And the hair
On the back of your neck.

Others may hate
And others may attack
But the defenders will win
If they carefully plan.

For we shall make our voices heard
And make the alarm bells sound
By staring down the threats
Determined, ready and willing.

I hold my hand
Steady on the wheel
Turning not
Because of how it looks
Or what I feel.

Moving straight ahead
Without doubt or hesitation
Finding true north
With all of my might.

We are alive for a reason
And we hold more than the future
In our hands
Because eternity
Is not cheap
And neither is truth.

I am the big bear
And they have seen me coming
Splitting in two along the street
As I pass through.

They don’t have a clue
And they don’t stand a chance
Outgunned, outsmarted
And on the run.

I am not holding back
And I am not pulling punches
But I stare dead ahead
And burn them straight through.

The clock has run down
And it is full of zeros
You can feel it
And you can sense it.

They can come at me
Or they can run away
But Lord will find them
When all of this is through.

The Howling

The Howling 10/12/2012

There are days
That make you want to scream
Just to break the silence
And prove you are alive.

The incredible silence of being
Alone inside your head
In a world full of doubt
And endless gray drizzle.

We live like dead fish
Silently floating
And washing up on the shore
With sightless eyes
Sinking in our skull.

We have received the greatest gift
Yet all we want is more
Crushing the spirits of others
With cynicism and derision.

We think we are an accident
But we imagine the divine
But what worth can anything have
Without eternity or redemption.

No matter how certain we are
And no matter what we say
The truth stands larger
And grinning in the dark.

Patiently waiting
For us to notice
Before he grips our throat
And squeezes our life.

Rude and petty
We have lived
And soon the hammer
Will come down
Unexpectly sudden
And perfect.

Outside there is a world
That doesn't care what we think
It lives and it kills
Without remorse
Or justification.

It has slept with the devil
And brought forth a crawling beast
Slithering up behind us
From the inside out.

But we who see the truth
Also have the promise
That evil although brutal
Is running out of options
And running out of time.

Spending its final days
In a furious anger
Lashing out at the innocent
In a bloody orgy of death.

Surface Tension

Surface Tension 10/11/2012

The tip of the iceberg
Sticks out of the water
But what lies beneath
Is huge jagged and deadly.

We know enough to imagine
But we understand only a little
Just enough to be dangerous
And demonic.

We hold ourselves up
As Gods but remain
As small as a grain of sand
Mindlessly tossed about
By the tide.

Just barely aware of eternity
We have awakened as if from sleep
Unable to focus
And comprehend.

A deep current connects us
And a red thread runs though our veins
Connecting us all together
Ancient and miraculous.

Not everyone shall know
And not everyone shall understand
The questions that remain unanswered
That we already know.

Somewhere deep inside
There rests what cannot be measured
And cannot be tested
A thin wisp of invisible matter
Larger than anything we see.

We see the horror
And we feel the pain
But good still survives
Under the surface
And beneath the waves.

But it shall not remain
Submerged forever
Nor shall our spirits remain
Imprisoned or constrained.

Wide Awake

Wide Awake 10/10/2012

I have bled enough to know
What it looks like
And I have bled enough to know
What it tastes like.

There is blood in the street
And blood in the water
More than enough to start
A feeding frenzy.

What does it take
For a man to awaken
And open up his eyes
To the truth.

But instead we hide in the boat
And think we are safe
Letting others tread water
And disappear one by one.

There is the war you see
And there is the one you don’t
And the war no one talks about
Is the worst by far.

Either you see
Or you don’t
And either you are awake
Or your eyes are closed.

No one is safe forever
No matter where they go
And where they live
Because all time is borrowed time
And it is passing fast.

No one can lie forever
And the truth shall always come out
No more than ever
For those who search
And those who ask.

I have been in the water
And I have seen the carnage
As the innocent are attacked
And chewed in half.

I have seen the result
And listened to the excuses
As others are blamed
And the predators excused.

Every man has a choice
And every man has a life
But for those who choose murder
Death shall come.

A harvest is coming
And a great feast shall be held
Filling every beast
Of water, air, and field.

But we do not fight alone
And in his name we are sanctified
Watered, fed and pruned
To redeem what was ours.