Residue

The Residue 12/28/2012

I know more now
Than I ever knew then
But still I wonder what happened
And why you are not here.

The seasons come and go
And I still want to tell you
The first thing on my mind
But then I stop myself
And it hurts once more.

Life is not a movie
And love is not a TV show
But the more we live
We imitate art
And suffer even more.

We always think
A perfect life
Is just around the corner
And lay all of the blame
At the closest
And the dearest.

But my question
Remains unanswered
As I go through the motions
Of living day to day.

I have learned many things
And I now I finally know
What it means to wait, endure,
Grow and suffer.

I learned to be the same
Whether I am happy
Or if I am sad
Smiling through the day
With my guts falling out.

I have learned patience
And I have found contentment
Even without treasure
Or anything at all.

But what good is all this
When all it achieves is survival
What can I ever offer
Other than a depressing dirge.

I will survive
And I will struggle
But without you
It is dull
And dead.

I tread the roads
But my steps lack the same conviction
Less purposeful
But heavy.

For now I live in spite
Like a ghost without his head
Always searching
But never finding.

I will have rest
When I understand
And I will laugh
When I hold you again.