Hindsight

Rear view                            3/31/2016

If I had only seen it coming

I could have stopped it cold

And everything would be different

Aged, weathered, and old.

We want what we cannot have

And we long for what we lost

Drawn by an insatiable appetite

Back to the flame

Again and again. 

Unwitting victims of a mysterious alchemy

We are slaves to our emotions

Seldom content

And never satisfied.

Blindly lurching forward

But always glancing backwards

Dumbfounded by what we missed

The first time around.  

Some will get a second chance

But some never will

A mystery and a riddle

That no one can solve.

God gave me life

And God gave me love

But who he loves

He must teach

One way

Or another.

He woke me up

And he plucked me out

Safe inside the womb

Warm and wet.

Immersing me in an icy river

He braced me against the world

Learning the hard way
over and over again. 

Tested, and tested again

Each time that I failed

God has not given up

And I had better not either. 

In my prayers I run

And I climb up into his arms

Help me, hold me

And keep me warm

Like a baby calls his father

To love and to protect.

I could never deserve it

All of this that I know

A small but priceless treasure

I dug up in the yard.

I call out in my mind

And pray that my friends are healed

The lost remembered

And the foolish saved.

Save them

As you saved me

Turning on the light

We never knew we had. 

Almost imperceptible

And nearly forgotten

The truth inside our heart

Dormant and cold.   

Send the spark to them also

The one that you gave to me

So that they also shall know

And seek to understand. 

Bringing us all home together

Where we will yet

Laugh and share

The distant past

Becoming nothing

In a future

That is everything. 

     

Dark Deep

Dark Deep                                        3/31/2016

It is a bitter root to chew

To see how far you have fallen

Diminished, reduced,

Humiliated and ashamed.

I think and I imagine

How it could have been different

If I had really had a chance

And if I had never lost.

Would I know more?

Or would I know less?

Protected, safe

Indulged and asleep.

I did not know to fear

So I did not see it coming

The horrible creeping death

Squirming in the shadows.

Befriending me

And sizing me up

Analyzing for weakness

And tracking my every move. 

Lying, trying, and cajoling

While I walked in my sleep

Moving his eyes side to side

Just to see

What I would do. 

Slipping out the knife

And going in for the kill

At just the right moment

When she got tired

And resentful.

Once I felt the sting

It was already too late

Fatally wounded

And gasping for air. 

But it was not enough

To take what I had

Because evil is never content

With what it steals.

Willing to do anything

To crush and to win

Always seeking to prove

Their lie was true.

Disgusting, low

Repulsive and vile

The liars win

Any way they can.    

Selling out their friends

And betraying the innocent

Long gone by the time

The victims

Learn and know. 

Fake images

And empty words

Meaningless without action

And empty without truth. 

The empty men

Are all around

One dimensional profiles

Packaged and sold. 

But deep down

They are far more than that

Thinly disguised wolves

Drooling at our neck. 

For money and power

They seek control

And by dumbing us down

They will never be exposed. 

We are the disenfranchised

Sold out for money

Betrayed, diluted

And circling the drain. 

They have killed many  

And ground them in the dirt

So full of themselves

They think

They are gods.

Saving their worst

For any who would dare

Shine a light on their duplicity

For everyone to see. 

Now it is here

The few against the many

Awaken lest you sleep

Buried forever

In the great dark deep. 

Paper Dolls

Paper Dolls                           3/30/2016

Some want

To cut you in

But most

Will cut you out. 

Thrusting deep

In your back

And staring

As you die. 

Sudden, vicious

Violent and deadly

The rage of hatred

Long taught

And held.

Not the kind of feeling

That I had as a child

When violence

And degradation

Were so far away.

Immune to reason

And sentiment

Cold as ice

And burning in your gut.

Unmoved by kindness

Is the snarling beast

Crazed with fury

And the taste of blood.

We go on

As if nothing happened

Perfectly conditioned

To accept and deny.

Hitting the snooze

Like we just did before

Unable to recognize

Death at the door. 

It is here

Well paid

And over fed

Raping city after city

Empty, vacant and dead.

But none of this is new

And it’s been

A long time coming

Building on the colonies

Long ago established. 

Scrambling over the wall

And roaming in the streets

The bands of marauding demons

Predictable as hell.  

Hear the wailing

And hear the siren call

The innocent blown to pieces

Mopped up and forgotten

For no reason at all.

Hanging over our heads

The heavy new normal

The moment they always wanted

Full, ripe, and deadly.

It is the saddest thing

To watch it all unravel

Designed by evil men

And greased

With piles of money. 

The signs are all here

If you can look up and see

Every warning made

And hanging in the sky.

Shake yourself

And shake others

Awake and aware

If you want to endure

And if you want to survive. 

Three and a half

Three and a half                  3/29/2016

Tis a strange gray feeling

The emptiness of mid morning

Forcing ourselves to care

About nothing at all. 

Engines drone on endlessly

And the coffee pot spits

Bitter in my cup

Another day at the office

On our way to nowhere.

Nothing changes except the faces

As we cyclically arrive

At the same conclusions

The only thing allowed

In a bureaucratic nightmare.

There is no opportunity

Because everything is predetermined

The outcome driving the means

As we push and pull

To make it fit. 

The lie must go on

Too big to fail

And too huge to ignore

A gigantic white elephant

Crushing us all. 

Torturing our selves

And each other

Layering on

The weight

Without taking

Any off.

Each for himself

We create imaginary kingdoms

Achieving nothing

But burdensome

Procedures.

We teeter on the end

Without looking out the window

All consumed by the nothingness

We ourselves created. 

Drooling over the next promotion

We plan our next meeting

Herding ourselves and each other

Through an obstacle course

Just to prove

That we exist.

The truth is not vulgar

And protecting you family

Is not a crime

No matter how often

They twist it

Into a mortal sin.

All the masks have fallen

And now we see

The ugly truth

Doubled down and contorted

Bigger than ever. 

But now the rocks are overturned

And the sunlight illuminates

Every darkened corner

Duplicity exposed

Unmasked and desperate.

Set up

And savaged

The good bloodied

And mocked. 

Three and a half days

Three and a half days

That is all that they can have

As we see them all dance

And flash their teeth.

Doomed from day one

They act out their rage

Exposed with the money 

Treacherous and dead.

Fast Forward

 Fast Forward                   3/28/2016

Time flies

And collapses downward

Forced inward

In a vortex

And pushed out a pinhole.

We live

And we die

But we are much more

Than what we see

And touch.

Tell the truth

And the world will hate you

But stand behind it

And they will plot

To kill you.

Burning with hatred

For all they will never be

Bought and sold

Ten times over.

What a beautiful thing it is

To live in the open

Unafraid and honest

Warts and all.

But the cowards will hide

And cover up their hatred

Sealing every record

And hiding their views.

Pure poison

Dripped into a glass

Putting us to sleep

Forever.

Sometimes we try

And sometimes we lose

But even the worst of failures

Is better than inaction

And tacit approval.

We circle the drain

And spin inside ourselves

Ever downward

Faster and faster.

The kingdom

Has never been closer

Than at this dark hour

Because the greatest of victories

Always follow treacherous evil.

Death is dead

And the past

Has fallen away

The shame shattered

And all washed away.

It is finished

And it is over

The victory already won

For once and for all.

Let them rage

Before the glory

As they make their final plans

Futile, wasted

Dumb and dead.