Orange Crush

Orange Crush 8/27/2013

I drove my motorcycle in large circles

Lazily around the parking lot

Waiting for you to come out

The last day I was young

Three lifetimes ago.

We walked along the beach

And watched the setting sun

Orangish, Pinkish,

Beautiful, and surreal. 

I can still feel the breeze

Ruffle through my shirt

And the cool water

Washing over my feet. 

I was there

But I was really here

And now that I am  here

God, I wish I was there.

But isn’t that life

Slipping us by

Running down our fingers

Like a popsicle

On a hot summer day. 

Back then my eyes were closed

And back then,

I didn’t understand

Uncomfortable in my own skin

And awkward as hell.

The sun sank

And left a black velvety darkness

Covering us over

And bringing you closer

I could feel the electricity

Prickling my every pore

As all possible worlds opened up

Just for us to explore.

But there must have been

Other plans for me

And for you

Because it’s always then

That everything falls apart.

It’s always something

And still it is now

As routine obligations

Change everything

And waste our time.

We both left

And I didn’t think ahead

Blind and still afraid

To find out more. 

I always had a foolish belief

That life would work out

Without effort or risk

But that was then

And this is now. 

I thought I would see you again

And I thought that, we would have

A million more chances

To live it all over again. 

My tires lost traction after that

And it took me years

To understand

All that I might have had

But lost along the way. 

Some friends remain

Long after the others have gone

But most have drifted away

And down with the current.

But here I type

Worn down and haggard

But a whole lot wiser

And humble. 

Now I know

That its okay to lose

And now I understand

That rejection isn’t so hard.

We were not the first

To be crushed

And we are not the only ones

That have been forgotten. 

I remember it all

And smile at the ruins

Because all this and so much more

Still awaits

All who ask.    

My heart is free

And it feels good to share

Because the best part survives

Rebellious to the core.