Walking the Plank

Walking the Plank 4/12/2013

You can believe
Anything you want
Even if it’s a lie
And even if it hurts.

Others have also
Wallowed in guilt
But seldom do the truly guilty
Ever bat an eye.

Nothing good
Comes of envy
And who should ever care
How it looks
Or how it seems.

But even now
We jostle and push
Flinging ourselves up a ladder
That leads to nowhere.

I have kept her hair
And I have kept her letters
My most precious treasure
That I ever lost.

Life is nothing
But a long set of goodbyes
As the platform of safety
Is removed
One plank at a time.

Leaving us to dance
On whatever is left
Hopping on whatever is left
Propping up ourselves
Just as long as we can.

But I never learned a thing
As long as I could hide
Because I preferred security
Over the great unknown.

I did not see
And I did not know
That everything I had
Was all in my head
And all of that
Was twisted around.

That I could never be myself
Until I surrendered my soul
Given away all my plans
And all of my pride.

With nothing to hide
And nothing to protect
Nothing to prove
And nothing to win.

Without expectation
And without pretense
Nothing but an open heart
And a grateful soul.

We all do the dance
And we all make our choices
Even if we never learn
And even if we never grow.

Some people land on others
And learn how to use
And others will only help
If they get something in return.

Others just fall
And hope someone will catch them
Riding on the backs of others
Without any responsibility at all.

The scavengers come
Just to take what they can
Stripping away everything of value
And then throw it all away.

All that is left is a shell
And all that was worthy
Is forgotten and abused
Unremembered
Until we wake up
Or die along the way.

My world was broken into pieces
And lay in ruins at my feet
Rusting away into oblivion
Like I never started at all.

But even my life
Was never about me
And even my plans
Were never meant to last.

Now I grow
And now I try
With more than ever to give
Now that I see
And now that I know.