Driftwood

Thoughts on Driftwood 4/24/2013

The thoughts creep up
Unsolicited and unwelcome
Desperate feelings
Of hopelessness
And worry.

About everything I remember
And everything I knew
All vanished in a heartbeat
Like it never happened at all.

I look around and watch
And see all the familiar faces
All of them scrambling for position
As if it matters at all.

Some will win
And some will lose
But either way
They are forgotten
And sleep in the dirt.

They have pledged their whole life
Upon a faulty premise
Always looking for something
That cannot be found.

If only I had known
And if only, I had reasoned
Taking the time to observe my life
From a safe distance
Present, but impartial.

How much further
Could I have gone?
Without fear or doubt
Never a hostage to my own emotions
And never hesitant or double minded.

I thought I knew it all
But I didn’t know a thing
Wasting a whole decade
Lost in a blizzard.

Time is a killer
And time has killed me
Crushing my spirit
One day at a time.

I kept trying the same old things
And ran inside a circle
Wearing down a track
That I could not escape.

My mind raced far ahead
Of all that mattered
Considering all kinds of possibilities
That were useless
In the here and now.

I knew it, even then
That I was expendable
Just a useful fool
Hitching a ride.

But even fools love
And even the worthless
Have a heart
And now mine beats before me
Pulsating in her hands.

The world sighs
As water drips eternal
Just waiting for someone
To wake up
And turn it over.

Justice may never come
Or it just might come tomorrow
But either way
We must carry on
And love the present.

If life should end
Before I get to see it
Then it still won’t matter
Because the truth endures
And lasts forever.