Shipwrecked 12/30/2011
I want to sail around the island
In big lazy circles
Watching the sun sink
In a beautiful orange glow.
Closing my eyes
As I doze on the deck
Feeling the ebb and flow
And listening to the surf.
A rum in my hand
And you by my side
Just smiling
With fire in your eyes.
I want to remember our first kiss
Full of anticipation
When everything was ahead of us
And nothing but happiness behind.
If I could make the world over again
What would I do
Perhaps look for love a lot less
And give a lot more.
Not looking backwards
Through the clear, but impenetrable glass
And worrying about the future less
As foggy as the blue ridge.
It is hard to forget
And easy to remember
All the missed simple chances
For a happy peaceful ending.
It is not mine to know
Where this dream shall end
Or what I am supposed to think
But more simply
It is just to live
And appreciate each golden nuance.
Something’s are so perfect
That they defy description
Mere words falling short
Of the beautiful and sublime.
The more that we taste
The more that we want
And living makes me want to live
And suffering makes
Me want to die.
Some dreams have a way of coming true
But so do also the nightmares
And we never seem to wake up
Or ever recover.
The anticipation is gone
And there are few surprises
When it feels like you have lived
A thousand separate lives.
They say you can never go back
And they are right about that
But here’s to the future
As murky as the depths.
May we see more sunsets
And drown in each other’s eyes
Once more where we belong
With the world right side up.
Another year will end
And we have circled once again
All the way around the sun
Cycling into another age
Another time
And another chance.
Nothing is forever
In this world
And that is a good thing
Because even all this heartache shall end
And leave us remembering only the good
And the beautiful.
The good shall live
And evil shall die
Sinking to the bottom
And lost forever.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Hand and Chisel
Hand and Chisel 12/29/2011
A block of marble cannot breathe
And cannot make mistakes
Soulless and dead
Smooth and cold.
The sculptor can chisel
What his mind can imagine
Gouging out a man
From a lifeless lump of rock.
God has made us better
And God has watched us grow
Speaking in our ears
And walking in our midst.
We are born without clothes
And we are knitted in the dark
Each cell and DNA with its own purpose
And its own instructions
Written in sequence
And written in code.
At that moment
All things are possible
As perfect as we will ever be
Innocent and sweet.
Damaged by others
Before we ever knew
Abusing themselves
And debilitating the defenseless.
We emerge as clay
In a world that is dying
Cursed and infected
From the inside out.
Our minds are attacked
By thoughts and doubts
Lulled to sleep
And distracted by greed.
Pulled by a manufactured gravity
Into the ceaseless pursuits
Far from our purpose
And far from the truth.
With no time to question
And little power to change
Controlled by committees
We never see or know.
An inhuman dream
Wastes and diminishes the good
Holding them back
Unheard and unseen.
Brainwashed by lies
Told over and over again
We doubt what we see
And question what we know.
All eyes kept on the surface
We are told we are safe
While the young are indoctrinated
That we never lived at all.
Chipped away by the chisel
And reduced to who we are
Either hardened for truth
Or ripe for the fall.
Let the rotten fruit rot
And let them fall to the ground
Unfit for food
Dead and dying.
He has made us strong
And he has given us the truth
But never does he force
What we should receive.
The greatest of artists
Has fashioned us his own
Holding out his hands
For us to take and hold.
We are here
The greatest of creation
Either for glory
Or for shame.
Ours is the choice
To accept or deny
To shake the world
Or die in silence.
We have the heart
And we have the soul
To create and inspire
But greatest of treasures
Comes from the spark
That only God can bestow.
A block of marble cannot breathe
And cannot make mistakes
Soulless and dead
Smooth and cold.
The sculptor can chisel
What his mind can imagine
Gouging out a man
From a lifeless lump of rock.
God has made us better
And God has watched us grow
Speaking in our ears
And walking in our midst.
We are born without clothes
And we are knitted in the dark
Each cell and DNA with its own purpose
And its own instructions
Written in sequence
And written in code.
At that moment
All things are possible
As perfect as we will ever be
Innocent and sweet.
Damaged by others
Before we ever knew
Abusing themselves
And debilitating the defenseless.
We emerge as clay
In a world that is dying
Cursed and infected
From the inside out.
Our minds are attacked
By thoughts and doubts
Lulled to sleep
And distracted by greed.
Pulled by a manufactured gravity
Into the ceaseless pursuits
Far from our purpose
And far from the truth.
With no time to question
And little power to change
Controlled by committees
We never see or know.
An inhuman dream
Wastes and diminishes the good
Holding them back
Unheard and unseen.
Brainwashed by lies
Told over and over again
We doubt what we see
And question what we know.
All eyes kept on the surface
We are told we are safe
While the young are indoctrinated
That we never lived at all.
Chipped away by the chisel
And reduced to who we are
Either hardened for truth
Or ripe for the fall.
Let the rotten fruit rot
And let them fall to the ground
Unfit for food
Dead and dying.
He has made us strong
And he has given us the truth
But never does he force
What we should receive.
The greatest of artists
Has fashioned us his own
Holding out his hands
For us to take and hold.
We are here
The greatest of creation
Either for glory
Or for shame.
Ours is the choice
To accept or deny
To shake the world
Or die in silence.
We have the heart
And we have the soul
To create and inspire
But greatest of treasures
Comes from the spark
That only God can bestow.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Searchlight
The Searchlight 12/27/2011
Time can twist you into knots
Over and under
And backwards again
Bringing us back together
Even when we thought
That all was lost.
But this time
It is different
And I can finally breathe
Unafraid to be myself
And without expectation.
Seldom do we give
Without wanting something back
Always looking for a reward
Or praise.
These feelings die hard
But they are no more than that
Just the death pangs of the self
That keeps wanting more.
Killing it off wasn’t easy
And still I feel it rising up
Always looking to recreate
Whatever good I had.
I wanted to receive
So I gave with secret conditions
Always looking for a response
Just to make myself
Feel loved.
But blessings are just that
Blessings that fall from heaven
Just when you need them the most
Unexpected and miraculous.
They come like a message
Unexplained but true
Piercing the fog
To stare us in the face.
A unexpected bolt of lightening
Illuminating the truth
Unmistakable
And undeniable.
What are we to do
With such knowledge?
That is the question
Because to hide it
Is to deny it.
The day I stopped wanting
Was the day I finally lived
At peace and at rest
With everything I need.
The harvest is here
And it comes for everyone
To each as he has sown
In our ignorance
And in our knowledge.
The shocking realization
That no one can hide
The unexpected horror
On the holiest of days.
Another picture takes its place
And another life, frozen in time
Portraits in a gruesome gallery
Because they tried to run away.
The truth is there
For those with eyes
Even though they try to hide it
And explain it all away.
Across the world
There is fear and terror
Just like they always wanted
And while we burn
The emperor plays.
Face the truth
And face the good
Giving without expectation
And speaking without fear.
Nothing is forever
Not here and not now
Dissolving away to the simplest parts
Into mud, dust and dirt.
On the other side
Rests the spirit
Unseen and unacknowledged
But nonetheless real.
And there is nothing as beautiful
And nothing as wonderful
Than to know
And understand.
If one thing leads to another
Then let it lead to this
That no matter what shall happen
We will always come home.
Time can twist you into knots
Over and under
And backwards again
Bringing us back together
Even when we thought
That all was lost.
But this time
It is different
And I can finally breathe
Unafraid to be myself
And without expectation.
Seldom do we give
Without wanting something back
Always looking for a reward
Or praise.
These feelings die hard
But they are no more than that
Just the death pangs of the self
That keeps wanting more.
Killing it off wasn’t easy
And still I feel it rising up
Always looking to recreate
Whatever good I had.
I wanted to receive
So I gave with secret conditions
Always looking for a response
Just to make myself
Feel loved.
But blessings are just that
Blessings that fall from heaven
Just when you need them the most
Unexpected and miraculous.
They come like a message
Unexplained but true
Piercing the fog
To stare us in the face.
A unexpected bolt of lightening
Illuminating the truth
Unmistakable
And undeniable.
What are we to do
With such knowledge?
That is the question
Because to hide it
Is to deny it.
The day I stopped wanting
Was the day I finally lived
At peace and at rest
With everything I need.
The harvest is here
And it comes for everyone
To each as he has sown
In our ignorance
And in our knowledge.
The shocking realization
That no one can hide
The unexpected horror
On the holiest of days.
Another picture takes its place
And another life, frozen in time
Portraits in a gruesome gallery
Because they tried to run away.
The truth is there
For those with eyes
Even though they try to hide it
And explain it all away.
Across the world
There is fear and terror
Just like they always wanted
And while we burn
The emperor plays.
Face the truth
And face the good
Giving without expectation
And speaking without fear.
Nothing is forever
Not here and not now
Dissolving away to the simplest parts
Into mud, dust and dirt.
On the other side
Rests the spirit
Unseen and unacknowledged
But nonetheless real.
And there is nothing as beautiful
And nothing as wonderful
Than to know
And understand.
If one thing leads to another
Then let it lead to this
That no matter what shall happen
We will always come home.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Undeserved
Undeserved 12/23/2011
Some gifts are given
Underserved and unrequested
And we hold them in our hands
Like a treasure
Too perfect to open.
Beautifully wrapped
In gleaming gold and silver
The unexpected glory
We never wanted
Or knew we needed.
I never dreamed
That I could write
Because whenever I tried
I had to force out the phrases
Awkward and painful.
Nothing seemed to express the feelings
That were stored up in memory
Or inspire any thought
Painfully coughed up
Sharp and jagged.
But something’s just happen
And there is nothing we can do
Either for the better or for the worse
Unexpected blessings
or random horror.
The best gifts
Have a way of expanding outwards
And becoming greater with use
Getting better with time
And more treasured than ever.
Best if used
And spoiled if kept
Useless locked away
And withered with age.
Today we are here
And that’s more than enough
Because love multiplies
And the more that we give
The more we have.
There is a peace in knowing
That we are accepted and known
Even with our faults
And even with our flaws.
We are here for a reason
And it is a miracle to know
So I shall ask for words
And let them go.
I don’t know where they will lead
Until I have typed them
And I don’t pretend to be a great poet
But rather I pray
And ask for more.
Today I let them go again
Like a prayer
Written on a balloon
As I walk outside
And let it rise.
If you should find this
Then just smile
Because even though
Life is hard
Others understand.
We live and we lose
And we long for something more
Something we already have
But don’t always see.
We all have hearts
And we all have a soul
The gifts ready for the asking
If we would only receive.
Here is mine
As humble as it is
To whoever may have it
And that’s enough for me.
Some gifts are given
Underserved and unrequested
And we hold them in our hands
Like a treasure
Too perfect to open.
Beautifully wrapped
In gleaming gold and silver
The unexpected glory
We never wanted
Or knew we needed.
I never dreamed
That I could write
Because whenever I tried
I had to force out the phrases
Awkward and painful.
Nothing seemed to express the feelings
That were stored up in memory
Or inspire any thought
Painfully coughed up
Sharp and jagged.
But something’s just happen
And there is nothing we can do
Either for the better or for the worse
Unexpected blessings
or random horror.
The best gifts
Have a way of expanding outwards
And becoming greater with use
Getting better with time
And more treasured than ever.
Best if used
And spoiled if kept
Useless locked away
And withered with age.
Today we are here
And that’s more than enough
Because love multiplies
And the more that we give
The more we have.
There is a peace in knowing
That we are accepted and known
Even with our faults
And even with our flaws.
We are here for a reason
And it is a miracle to know
So I shall ask for words
And let them go.
I don’t know where they will lead
Until I have typed them
And I don’t pretend to be a great poet
But rather I pray
And ask for more.
Today I let them go again
Like a prayer
Written on a balloon
As I walk outside
And let it rise.
If you should find this
Then just smile
Because even though
Life is hard
Others understand.
We live and we lose
And we long for something more
Something we already have
But don’t always see.
We all have hearts
And we all have a soul
The gifts ready for the asking
If we would only receive.
Here is mine
As humble as it is
To whoever may have it
And that’s enough for me.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Dark Matter
Dark Matter 12/22/2011
The sky is full of stars
And the beach is full of sand
Each one different
And each one the same.
From the stuff of impossibility
We are made whole
And from invisible parts
We shall defeat death.
Sometimes even the good
Wish with all their heart
And come up empty
Staring at the sky.
I cried out in agony
And prayed with all my might
Trying to hold together
What could never be saved.
But it’s hard to say
If it’s for the worst or the best
Because you can’t see the future
When you are stuck in the past.
The world has a weight
That gets heavier at times
And you want to give up
And crawl into a hole.
To pull up a cover of darkness
And hide inside of ourselves
Never emerging to see
And never bothering to know.
But to truly live
Increases the chance of pain
And devastating loss
And to try again
Risks the same.
I asked for something
And opened up my heart
But even the greatest blessings
Comes with great responsibility
And sacrifice.
To go where our decisions take us
And pay the price
If need be dying
In the name
And in the blood.
It is easy to say
And it is whimsy to think
But it takes honor to live
And courage to love.
But either way
To be here at all
Is something to remember
And contemplate.
That against every conceivable chance
And insurmountable odds
We have met
And know for sure.
The sky is full of stars
And the beach is full of sand
Each one different
And each one the same.
From the stuff of impossibility
We are made whole
And from invisible parts
We shall defeat death.
Sometimes even the good
Wish with all their heart
And come up empty
Staring at the sky.
I cried out in agony
And prayed with all my might
Trying to hold together
What could never be saved.
But it’s hard to say
If it’s for the worst or the best
Because you can’t see the future
When you are stuck in the past.
The world has a weight
That gets heavier at times
And you want to give up
And crawl into a hole.
To pull up a cover of darkness
And hide inside of ourselves
Never emerging to see
And never bothering to know.
But to truly live
Increases the chance of pain
And devastating loss
And to try again
Risks the same.
I asked for something
And opened up my heart
But even the greatest blessings
Comes with great responsibility
And sacrifice.
To go where our decisions take us
And pay the price
If need be dying
In the name
And in the blood.
It is easy to say
And it is whimsy to think
But it takes honor to live
And courage to love.
But either way
To be here at all
Is something to remember
And contemplate.
That against every conceivable chance
And insurmountable odds
We have met
And know for sure.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The Suicide Box
The Suicide Box 12/21/2012
Every day is Russian roulette
A suicidal gun watch
And a game of desperation and death
Just for someone else’s pleasure
Equally dumb and dead.
Some try and show their courage
And others palm the last bullet
But the truth is in the chamber
And the end is death.
So much for the wisdom
And the values of the damned
Ending in a symphony
Of cries and explosions.
What would we do
If we arrived at the end
A dead ender without hope
And hunted everywhere.
With nothing to cling to
And nowhere to run
Like a fish with a hook in its mouth
Reeled in and filleted.
So much for the good times
When all options are exhausted
And someone has to pay the price
And spread out on the floor.
The dreamers cannot answer
If you are the one
Except to look the other way
While you gasp for air.
We start out beautiful
But the world beats us down
The way of the things we know
And the result of what we do.
Everything measured and weighed
Merciless and cold
Pigeon holed by circumstances
And crushed by random events.
We run away at full tilt
But always come back for more
Because there is no escape
Without living or dying.
Join me on the watch
Or join me at the end
The same lesson we should have learned
A thousand years before.
Strangers 12/21/2011
It is a strange feeling
To see and to live
To remember the good
And to suppress the bad.
Marking time and passages
From one birthday or another
Neglecting to see
The march of time.
Inevitably we encounter
The extremes of man
The incredible kindness of strangers
And the callousness of the loved.
The strange and random courage
And the all too familiar
Silent complicity
All intermingled
In the tangled mess of life.
We live through our days
And seldom check our emotions
Reacting instead of choosing
And sidestepping into disaster.
If only we knew
And if only we could decide
Seeing the soul of men
All around us.
Today I received kindness
But only God knows tomorrow
But it is not mine to know
But just to love.
Every day is Russian roulette
A suicidal gun watch
And a game of desperation and death
Just for someone else’s pleasure
Equally dumb and dead.
Some try and show their courage
And others palm the last bullet
But the truth is in the chamber
And the end is death.
So much for the wisdom
And the values of the damned
Ending in a symphony
Of cries and explosions.
What would we do
If we arrived at the end
A dead ender without hope
And hunted everywhere.
With nothing to cling to
And nowhere to run
Like a fish with a hook in its mouth
Reeled in and filleted.
So much for the good times
When all options are exhausted
And someone has to pay the price
And spread out on the floor.
The dreamers cannot answer
If you are the one
Except to look the other way
While you gasp for air.
We start out beautiful
But the world beats us down
The way of the things we know
And the result of what we do.
Everything measured and weighed
Merciless and cold
Pigeon holed by circumstances
And crushed by random events.
We run away at full tilt
But always come back for more
Because there is no escape
Without living or dying.
Join me on the watch
Or join me at the end
The same lesson we should have learned
A thousand years before.
Strangers 12/21/2011
It is a strange feeling
To see and to live
To remember the good
And to suppress the bad.
Marking time and passages
From one birthday or another
Neglecting to see
The march of time.
Inevitably we encounter
The extremes of man
The incredible kindness of strangers
And the callousness of the loved.
The strange and random courage
And the all too familiar
Silent complicity
All intermingled
In the tangled mess of life.
We live through our days
And seldom check our emotions
Reacting instead of choosing
And sidestepping into disaster.
If only we knew
And if only we could decide
Seeing the soul of men
All around us.
Today I received kindness
But only God knows tomorrow
But it is not mine to know
But just to love.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Buried
Buried 12/20/2011
When I had everything
I always wanted more
And now that I have lost
I don’t care at all.
In an iron coffin
We shall rest
Chilled to the bone
And stiff as a board
Twice as useless
Empty and dead.
But so are the foolish
Who crowd together in a herd
Running faster and faster
Straight off a cliff.
They woke up early
Filled with ambition
But no matter what they do
Or even where they go
Now they are gone
And nobody cares.
It does not mean
That I give up
Because I have seen this before
And still I write.
But it does offer a choice
The biggest one of all
Because the heart is a muscle
That gets stronger with use.
When broken it fuses back together
And when torn
You slowly sew it back
Growing stronger at seam
Than it ever was before.
A choice greater than comfort
And a dream larger than greed
Different than the false pride
Or the vanity of the weak.
To choose a life
And to choose a love
Not just to escape
But the kind that embraces life.
That is what I want
To embrace this life
To live it fully
Even if it hurts.
Many are those
Who have known the truth
But have slunk away
And covered their heads.
Just to avoid inconvenience
Or numb the pain
The kind that comes
When we stretch our soul.
Like a rush of water
That feels cold at first
But as we acclimate
Feels cleansing and warm.
We fear inconvenience
And we fear disappointment
So we avoid obligations
That might tie us down.
If I am buried
Then I don’t care
But here and now
I have to choose.
You can hear the heart
But you can’t know my thoughts
Arcing and flowing
Inside of my soul.
That I choose to love
Even though I have lost
And that I choose to live
When I feel like giving up.
The end comes either way
And we leave as we came
Delivered naked
And handwashed clean.
A new world
And a new chance
Learning all over again
But this time for real.
The beat of the heart
Goes on
But the choices we made
Determine the prize.
When I had everything
I always wanted more
And now that I have lost
I don’t care at all.
In an iron coffin
We shall rest
Chilled to the bone
And stiff as a board
Twice as useless
Empty and dead.
But so are the foolish
Who crowd together in a herd
Running faster and faster
Straight off a cliff.
They woke up early
Filled with ambition
But no matter what they do
Or even where they go
Now they are gone
And nobody cares.
It does not mean
That I give up
Because I have seen this before
And still I write.
But it does offer a choice
The biggest one of all
Because the heart is a muscle
That gets stronger with use.
When broken it fuses back together
And when torn
You slowly sew it back
Growing stronger at seam
Than it ever was before.
A choice greater than comfort
And a dream larger than greed
Different than the false pride
Or the vanity of the weak.
To choose a life
And to choose a love
Not just to escape
But the kind that embraces life.
That is what I want
To embrace this life
To live it fully
Even if it hurts.
Many are those
Who have known the truth
But have slunk away
And covered their heads.
Just to avoid inconvenience
Or numb the pain
The kind that comes
When we stretch our soul.
Like a rush of water
That feels cold at first
But as we acclimate
Feels cleansing and warm.
We fear inconvenience
And we fear disappointment
So we avoid obligations
That might tie us down.
If I am buried
Then I don’t care
But here and now
I have to choose.
You can hear the heart
But you can’t know my thoughts
Arcing and flowing
Inside of my soul.
That I choose to love
Even though I have lost
And that I choose to live
When I feel like giving up.
The end comes either way
And we leave as we came
Delivered naked
And handwashed clean.
A new world
And a new chance
Learning all over again
But this time for real.
The beat of the heart
Goes on
But the choices we made
Determine the prize.
Monday, December 19, 2011
The Dove and the Raven
The Dove and the Raven 12/19/2011
Run, run as fast as you can
Because something is coming
And catching up fast
Lashing at our heels
And breathing down our necks.
The lid is coming off
And where the hell are you?
Time to make a choice
Or run until you’re through.
A long time coming
And bigger than we dreamed
Because all hands are about to show
And the truth
Makes all the difference.
There has been much hidden
Underneath the table
Where no one can see
But it is about to be tipped over
And everyone will run.
They will hide
And make excuses
Because they have lied before
And got away free.
But something has been changing
Imperceptible but real
Beneath the surface
In the mind’s eye
Of the spirit
The truth known, and recognized.
Yes, the stakes are higher
And yes, our eyes can see
The used and betrayed awakened
Roused by the pain
Of unanswered blows.
The giant is angry
And soon he shall strike
Swiping them all away
And tearing them to pieces.
The whole rotten joke
Is about to fall apart
And come down around our heads
Because we let the tail wag the dog
And worshiped at the worm.
The legs will no longer stand
And the platform has burned away
Because ashes cannot bear weight
Of the many
On the few.
If trees grew from liberty
It is blood that fed them
And blood they shall have
Because we have run
And hidden in the caves.
We stand and watch
Burning men of straw
As the snake slithers
In and out of sight.
The saboteurs have arrived
And do whatever they want
Without fear of reprisal
And much less of truth.
Hear the lamentations
And see all the ruin
Everywhere and everything
Burning brightly in the sun.
Run, run as fast as you can
Because you know the end is coming
A bigger change than we have seen
Bringing all our houses down.
The dove brings down the fire
And the raven speaks of doom
Leaving their trails across the sky
In seach of men.
They have picked and spoken
And the words are in my ears
As I run to my hiding place
And wait for things to come.
Run, run as fast as you can
Because the bill is due
Time to try and make an escape
Before the killing is through.
Its three minutes past midnight
If anyone can understand the clue
Just enough time to run away
And hide among the tombs.
Run, run as fast as you can
Because something is coming
And catching up fast
Lashing at our heels
And breathing down our necks.
The lid is coming off
And where the hell are you?
Time to make a choice
Or run until you’re through.
A long time coming
And bigger than we dreamed
Because all hands are about to show
And the truth
Makes all the difference.
There has been much hidden
Underneath the table
Where no one can see
But it is about to be tipped over
And everyone will run.
They will hide
And make excuses
Because they have lied before
And got away free.
But something has been changing
Imperceptible but real
Beneath the surface
In the mind’s eye
Of the spirit
The truth known, and recognized.
Yes, the stakes are higher
And yes, our eyes can see
The used and betrayed awakened
Roused by the pain
Of unanswered blows.
The giant is angry
And soon he shall strike
Swiping them all away
And tearing them to pieces.
The whole rotten joke
Is about to fall apart
And come down around our heads
Because we let the tail wag the dog
And worshiped at the worm.
The legs will no longer stand
And the platform has burned away
Because ashes cannot bear weight
Of the many
On the few.
If trees grew from liberty
It is blood that fed them
And blood they shall have
Because we have run
And hidden in the caves.
We stand and watch
Burning men of straw
As the snake slithers
In and out of sight.
The saboteurs have arrived
And do whatever they want
Without fear of reprisal
And much less of truth.
Hear the lamentations
And see all the ruin
Everywhere and everything
Burning brightly in the sun.
Run, run as fast as you can
Because you know the end is coming
A bigger change than we have seen
Bringing all our houses down.
The dove brings down the fire
And the raven speaks of doom
Leaving their trails across the sky
In seach of men.
They have picked and spoken
And the words are in my ears
As I run to my hiding place
And wait for things to come.
Run, run as fast as you can
Because the bill is due
Time to try and make an escape
Before the killing is through.
Its three minutes past midnight
If anyone can understand the clue
Just enough time to run away
And hide among the tombs.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
The Inner Frontier
The Last frontier 12/15/2011
Like an Indian trading land
For a few glass beads
The good have been sold out
And wasted along the way.
The good have turned off their brains
And live on cruise control
Gliding down the road
That someone else has mapped.
They have put on masks
And pretend they are someone else
Taking on their opinions
And their habits.
Sleepwalking through life
Bought and sold cheaply
Dropping their heads into the trough
That someone else has fed them.
Mindlessly they parrot
The tired ideas of others
Safe as toast and cereal
And twice as dead.
Spiritless and soulless
And as bland as they come
A beige on beige world
Without beauty or passion.
Clinging to the edges of safety
They seek acceptance
Taking the safest route
That leads unto death.
I hate to see it
But it is the truth
That they have listened to man
And ignored the voice of God.
Never venturing out
Into the deep waters
And never questioning themselves
Giving in to petty jealousies
And foolish pride.
It is all for show
And it is all fake
A cheap plastic coating
And an otherwise wasted life.
Inside they are empty
Because they have ran away
Running from reality
To avoid all the pain.
Seeking false safety in others
And socially acceptable pursuits
Taking their cues from the bankrupt
And all their planned rebellions.
They love to make fun of others
But only the safest of targets
Far from the sacred cows
Eating all the food.
Others have spoken
But not many have heard
Preferring to avoid all pain
No matter the cost.
I have poured out my heart
And let it spill across space
Bleeding out in all directions
For unknown consequences.
It is here in the words
But the words are not my own
Nothing but messages
Transmitted by a receiver.
The true path is difficult
And it requires a conscious choice
A hard road to walk
But headed in the right direction.
Other have blazed the path
And cut through the thorns
Bleeding themselves dry
And sacrificing their lives.
It is but a small loss
To give up childish retreat
And head into glory
In a risk of faith.
To live this life fully
The make it to the end
Having run the race with honor
If not just for comfort.
The doubters and the mockers
Shall thrash in the shallows
Leading the idle into nothingness
And buried underground.
But for those who seek a treasure
That shall last forever
Let him hear
And let him walk.
Like an Indian trading land
For a few glass beads
The good have been sold out
And wasted along the way.
The good have turned off their brains
And live on cruise control
Gliding down the road
That someone else has mapped.
They have put on masks
And pretend they are someone else
Taking on their opinions
And their habits.
Sleepwalking through life
Bought and sold cheaply
Dropping their heads into the trough
That someone else has fed them.
Mindlessly they parrot
The tired ideas of others
Safe as toast and cereal
And twice as dead.
Spiritless and soulless
And as bland as they come
A beige on beige world
Without beauty or passion.
Clinging to the edges of safety
They seek acceptance
Taking the safest route
That leads unto death.
I hate to see it
But it is the truth
That they have listened to man
And ignored the voice of God.
Never venturing out
Into the deep waters
And never questioning themselves
Giving in to petty jealousies
And foolish pride.
It is all for show
And it is all fake
A cheap plastic coating
And an otherwise wasted life.
Inside they are empty
Because they have ran away
Running from reality
To avoid all the pain.
Seeking false safety in others
And socially acceptable pursuits
Taking their cues from the bankrupt
And all their planned rebellions.
They love to make fun of others
But only the safest of targets
Far from the sacred cows
Eating all the food.
Others have spoken
But not many have heard
Preferring to avoid all pain
No matter the cost.
I have poured out my heart
And let it spill across space
Bleeding out in all directions
For unknown consequences.
It is here in the words
But the words are not my own
Nothing but messages
Transmitted by a receiver.
The true path is difficult
And it requires a conscious choice
A hard road to walk
But headed in the right direction.
Other have blazed the path
And cut through the thorns
Bleeding themselves dry
And sacrificing their lives.
It is but a small loss
To give up childish retreat
And head into glory
In a risk of faith.
To live this life fully
The make it to the end
Having run the race with honor
If not just for comfort.
The doubters and the mockers
Shall thrash in the shallows
Leading the idle into nothingness
And buried underground.
But for those who seek a treasure
That shall last forever
Let him hear
And let him walk.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
The Crushing Machine and The Doldrums
The Crushing Machine 12/14/2011
Scream it out loud
And never hold it back
Because nothing is ever enough
And I am sick of trying.
Fueled by alcohol
And without restraint
I’ll let out the beast
That doesn’t care how it looks
Or what anyone might think.
Words are not enough
Because I feel like destroying
Smashing out all the windows
And breaking down the walls.
To grab what can be used
And break it to pieces
Tearing down all we made
And burning what is left.
The world is built up
But it needs to be made over
So we might as well
Start from scratch
And wash away the ashes.
Nothing is ever perfect
And nothing is ever pure
Everything and everyone
Contaminated and dead.
Everything compromised
And everything qualified
Limited by rules
And hamstrung by regulations.
People become numbers
That we stuff into categories
Rated, ranked and labeled
Their worth doled out
In shallow benefits and quotas.
Less free and more controlled
And afraid to speak the truth
Dumbed down to the point of extinction
While everyone looks the other way.
We are born in the world
Imperfectly perfect
In an accidental lottery of DNA
Against all odds.
But nothing is more beautiful
As imperfect art
The imprecise shading
And subtle blending of colors.
The mark of God is in the details
In our immeasurable capacity for love
An uncontainable spirit
Both pure and perfect.
We are here for a reason
And naturally we hate the fake
The pretended meanings
And heavy handed lies.
It is time to create boldly
And it’s time to tell the truth
Living fearless
Authentic and true.
To be ourselves
Without apology
Suffering not the judgment of others
Unabashedly one of a kind.
The Doldrums 12/14/2011
Listen love
And open up your heart
Lifting it up
Without regret or doubt.
Remember the days
We once had
But not the ugly
And not the end.
Remember me
The best part of me
The part that still burns
And cannot die.
The star crossed lovers of destiny
Brought together across time
Connected at the soul
And filled with the spirit.
I loved you
More than my own life
Thinking that I was so lucky
With dreams for the future
And a spark in my eye.
But I was living in my emotions
And carelessly selfish
Spoiled by good fortune
And ripe for a fall.
Ever bored and disappointed
I never held back my feelings
Never listening for the subtle
Still voice of love.
I wanted to make everything perfect
And I let the smallest of nusciances
Ruin our times
By the judgments I made
And the look on my face.
I could not appreciate
The treasure I had
And I did not know
For what I had asked.
Something happened
A horrible creeping grief
And I’ll never be the same
And never feel as safe.
Losing you brought me low
Lower than you can imagine
Free falling out into nothingness
Without anywhere to turn.
That I held back
And that I held on
Is but, by the grace of God
Given as a gift
And not earned.
I am tossed out
And so far fallen
A unwelcome reminder
Of the past
Haunting the present.
Still I love you
Even though I should forget
Still loyal
Though I die.
It is you
Who let me know
And it is you
Who caused the inspiration.
Together we made something greater
But we lost before it was completed
A work unfinished
Unexplored and unknown.
There is no victory without loss
And no honor without suffering
And I was offered up
Blemishes and all.
I go on
But for me the colors are muted
As my focus has changed
And my dreams withered.
I live and I love
But not as freely
And not as pure
Never again to see in this world
The same youthful hope
Or the same false safety.
Never again to feel
The peace I didn’t appreciate
Or rest self assured
But instead to wander forever
All alone
In crowded rooms.
Somehow I know
That you will know me
The part that had only started to grow
The fullest manifestation
Of who I was meant to be.
Long after the inevitable end
When every injury is healed
And all forgiven
Just as it was written
And like we always knew.
Scream it out loud
And never hold it back
Because nothing is ever enough
And I am sick of trying.
Fueled by alcohol
And without restraint
I’ll let out the beast
That doesn’t care how it looks
Or what anyone might think.
Words are not enough
Because I feel like destroying
Smashing out all the windows
And breaking down the walls.
To grab what can be used
And break it to pieces
Tearing down all we made
And burning what is left.
The world is built up
But it needs to be made over
So we might as well
Start from scratch
And wash away the ashes.
Nothing is ever perfect
And nothing is ever pure
Everything and everyone
Contaminated and dead.
Everything compromised
And everything qualified
Limited by rules
And hamstrung by regulations.
People become numbers
That we stuff into categories
Rated, ranked and labeled
Their worth doled out
In shallow benefits and quotas.
Less free and more controlled
And afraid to speak the truth
Dumbed down to the point of extinction
While everyone looks the other way.
We are born in the world
Imperfectly perfect
In an accidental lottery of DNA
Against all odds.
But nothing is more beautiful
As imperfect art
The imprecise shading
And subtle blending of colors.
The mark of God is in the details
In our immeasurable capacity for love
An uncontainable spirit
Both pure and perfect.
We are here for a reason
And naturally we hate the fake
The pretended meanings
And heavy handed lies.
It is time to create boldly
And it’s time to tell the truth
Living fearless
Authentic and true.
To be ourselves
Without apology
Suffering not the judgment of others
Unabashedly one of a kind.
The Doldrums 12/14/2011
Listen love
And open up your heart
Lifting it up
Without regret or doubt.
Remember the days
We once had
But not the ugly
And not the end.
Remember me
The best part of me
The part that still burns
And cannot die.
The star crossed lovers of destiny
Brought together across time
Connected at the soul
And filled with the spirit.
I loved you
More than my own life
Thinking that I was so lucky
With dreams for the future
And a spark in my eye.
But I was living in my emotions
And carelessly selfish
Spoiled by good fortune
And ripe for a fall.
Ever bored and disappointed
I never held back my feelings
Never listening for the subtle
Still voice of love.
I wanted to make everything perfect
And I let the smallest of nusciances
Ruin our times
By the judgments I made
And the look on my face.
I could not appreciate
The treasure I had
And I did not know
For what I had asked.
Something happened
A horrible creeping grief
And I’ll never be the same
And never feel as safe.
Losing you brought me low
Lower than you can imagine
Free falling out into nothingness
Without anywhere to turn.
That I held back
And that I held on
Is but, by the grace of God
Given as a gift
And not earned.
I am tossed out
And so far fallen
A unwelcome reminder
Of the past
Haunting the present.
Still I love you
Even though I should forget
Still loyal
Though I die.
It is you
Who let me know
And it is you
Who caused the inspiration.
Together we made something greater
But we lost before it was completed
A work unfinished
Unexplored and unknown.
There is no victory without loss
And no honor without suffering
And I was offered up
Blemishes and all.
I go on
But for me the colors are muted
As my focus has changed
And my dreams withered.
I live and I love
But not as freely
And not as pure
Never again to see in this world
The same youthful hope
Or the same false safety.
Never again to feel
The peace I didn’t appreciate
Or rest self assured
But instead to wander forever
All alone
In crowded rooms.
Somehow I know
That you will know me
The part that had only started to grow
The fullest manifestation
Of who I was meant to be.
Long after the inevitable end
When every injury is healed
And all forgiven
Just as it was written
And like we always knew.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Now and Then
Now and Then 12/13/2011
Turning over inside of myself
The thoughts form and dissipate
Coming as if from memory
Already lived
But forgotten.
Ideas are like projectiles
That pierce reality
Like a diamond bullet
Exploding in all directions.
Shattered glass glistens in the street
And forms a bloody mosaic
Reflecting the flames in different directions
Another sign of things to come.
Time is a mystery
That is already solved
But that is another secret
That we can only guess.
We are like the fattened calves
Or a happy pig
Burying our snouts
In search of more.
But the choice is ours
To remain or to grow
But growth cannot come without pain
And loss.
Our dreams make us different
And love makes us sacrifice
Loving others more than ourselves
And dying every day.
The sense of self dies hard
And comes back to life
All the time
Rising up in resentment
And self pity.
I have loved enough to suffer
As most men will
Hanging myself out to dry
Overcoming the loss
To give up and die.
If others also love
Then they too must sacrifice
Giving up perfection
For just another day.
I had to give up
And I had to hold back
Giving myself away
To suffer and lose.
Others give as well
Some for love
And some for money
But it is the heart that matters
And the reason matters the most.
There is no secret hidden
That God does not know
And there is no false reasoning
That he will not expose.
Tough days are ahead
When all we revered
Will be destroyed
Torn down and mocked.
In a thousand million pieces
The work of many is wasted
Strewn across a landscape
That only hell could imagine.
But if that should happen
Then what are we to do
But the answer is as simple
To remain standing
And just keep going.
Love is all around us
So there is no need to search
Just as my son makes me smile
As I hold him in my arms
His smile melting my heart
After another thankless day.
I have prayed and prayed
And still I keep on going
Because I have made my choice
Choosing to live
And choosing to love.
Turning over inside of myself
The thoughts form and dissipate
Coming as if from memory
Already lived
But forgotten.
Ideas are like projectiles
That pierce reality
Like a diamond bullet
Exploding in all directions.
Shattered glass glistens in the street
And forms a bloody mosaic
Reflecting the flames in different directions
Another sign of things to come.
Time is a mystery
That is already solved
But that is another secret
That we can only guess.
We are like the fattened calves
Or a happy pig
Burying our snouts
In search of more.
But the choice is ours
To remain or to grow
But growth cannot come without pain
And loss.
Our dreams make us different
And love makes us sacrifice
Loving others more than ourselves
And dying every day.
The sense of self dies hard
And comes back to life
All the time
Rising up in resentment
And self pity.
I have loved enough to suffer
As most men will
Hanging myself out to dry
Overcoming the loss
To give up and die.
If others also love
Then they too must sacrifice
Giving up perfection
For just another day.
I had to give up
And I had to hold back
Giving myself away
To suffer and lose.
Others give as well
Some for love
And some for money
But it is the heart that matters
And the reason matters the most.
There is no secret hidden
That God does not know
And there is no false reasoning
That he will not expose.
Tough days are ahead
When all we revered
Will be destroyed
Torn down and mocked.
In a thousand million pieces
The work of many is wasted
Strewn across a landscape
That only hell could imagine.
But if that should happen
Then what are we to do
But the answer is as simple
To remain standing
And just keep going.
Love is all around us
So there is no need to search
Just as my son makes me smile
As I hold him in my arms
His smile melting my heart
After another thankless day.
I have prayed and prayed
And still I keep on going
Because I have made my choice
Choosing to live
And choosing to love.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Deep Freeze
Deep Freeze 12/12/11
Deep winter is upon us
And soon another year shall pass
Silently passing over our heads
In swirling clouds
And falling ice.
Like a bear I grow tired
And let my hair grow
A large white arctic animal
With words instead of claws.
The days are short
And the nights are long
As the ice thickens
Across the pond.
Some things we ask for
And some we don’t
But I walk around inside this skin
And I think thoughts inside this brain.
I didn’t ask to know
And I didn’t know to ask
Because some things are just given
Without any reason or justification.
The light is given
And it shines even in darkness
Illuminating all my doubts
And revealing my path
But only one step at a time.
I read about the world
And it is a long sad story
But it always ends the same
But we never learn
And never understand.
All men make mistakes
But not all men make it right
But I have laid my life
At the feet of God
And wait for him
To pay them back.
How much more does it take
And how much more must happen
Before man wakes up
And see what is here.
It will never be enough
If we are afraid to know
And hide in our thoughts
In safe and familiar conceptions.
Just because I am quiet
Does not mean that I give up
But rather it is the opposite
As I make up my mind
How I must fight.
We have brought in the greens
But slept through the times
Burying our treasure in the cave
And sleeping with our eyes closed.
Outside the dead have fallen
And the hungry killers circle
Eating all that remains
And waiting for us.
Protected by the thinnest of defenses
We rest on the strength of others
But even animals grow bolder
With immunity and acquiescence.
Silence is complicity
And a man has no hope
If he cannot name his enemy
The unspoken ever greater
Than what we read or hear.
Wake up
And shake of the snow
Rise up to full height
And see the truth
Clear as hell.
If you love
Then make sure you live it
Protect them
And the future to come.
Because we are all cutouts
Here one day
And gone tomorrow
Expendable aside from money
Useless and dead.
Love your family
And plan for tomorrow
Winter shall pass
But death shall wait.
Deep winter is upon us
And soon another year shall pass
Silently passing over our heads
In swirling clouds
And falling ice.
Like a bear I grow tired
And let my hair grow
A large white arctic animal
With words instead of claws.
The days are short
And the nights are long
As the ice thickens
Across the pond.
Some things we ask for
And some we don’t
But I walk around inside this skin
And I think thoughts inside this brain.
I didn’t ask to know
And I didn’t know to ask
Because some things are just given
Without any reason or justification.
The light is given
And it shines even in darkness
Illuminating all my doubts
And revealing my path
But only one step at a time.
I read about the world
And it is a long sad story
But it always ends the same
But we never learn
And never understand.
All men make mistakes
But not all men make it right
But I have laid my life
At the feet of God
And wait for him
To pay them back.
How much more does it take
And how much more must happen
Before man wakes up
And see what is here.
It will never be enough
If we are afraid to know
And hide in our thoughts
In safe and familiar conceptions.
Just because I am quiet
Does not mean that I give up
But rather it is the opposite
As I make up my mind
How I must fight.
We have brought in the greens
But slept through the times
Burying our treasure in the cave
And sleeping with our eyes closed.
Outside the dead have fallen
And the hungry killers circle
Eating all that remains
And waiting for us.
Protected by the thinnest of defenses
We rest on the strength of others
But even animals grow bolder
With immunity and acquiescence.
Silence is complicity
And a man has no hope
If he cannot name his enemy
The unspoken ever greater
Than what we read or hear.
Wake up
And shake of the snow
Rise up to full height
And see the truth
Clear as hell.
If you love
Then make sure you live it
Protect them
And the future to come.
Because we are all cutouts
Here one day
And gone tomorrow
Expendable aside from money
Useless and dead.
Love your family
And plan for tomorrow
Winter shall pass
But death shall wait.
Friday, December 9, 2011
The Invisible Hand
The Invisible Hand 12/9/2011
I was born
In a place
Beneath the biggest sky
In a city of ghosts
Far away from here.
It was lonely
And it was cold
Stranded in the middle
Of endless fields of grain.
We would drive to the lake
And build a fire at the sand pit
Burying the dead soldiers
And shooting our guns in the night
The sounds and our voices echoing
Into eternity.
Staring upwards into the black
You can see ten thousand stars
Mesmerizing in their beauty
Distant, sparkling and cold.
There is a peace in their remoteness
And a presence in their design
And you know that you are loved
And watched.
There is a sense
Deep down in the soul
That we are guided
By an invisible hand.
Ushered along life
From one place to the next
Incapable of vision
Until we see
The backwards past.
We make choices
But then we live them through
A combination of exposure
And free will.
God was watching me
And God was guiding me
Loving me in spite of myself
Even then
And so far from here.
If we had known
How things would change
I wonder what we would have done
But youth is seldom appreciated
Before it ages away.
I was anxious
And I was impatient
Searching for some sort of perfection
That I never found.
I wanted to
Trying to capture the impossible
And form something unique
In my hands.
To do something
That had never been done
And make the world over
By the force of my spirit.
But rather we are the changed
And are transformed by events
Molded, fired and tempered
And tested by trials
Over and over again.
A work in progress
Never quite finished
Heated, hammered and frozen
Until we are ready.
The real life is yet to come
The one we are training for
A new beginning
Of a beautiful forever.
Here we guess
Then we will know
Now we lose
And then we will live.
Our dreams a reality
And our suffering a blessing
Everything and everyone
Together at last.
I was born
In a place
Beneath the biggest sky
In a city of ghosts
Far away from here.
It was lonely
And it was cold
Stranded in the middle
Of endless fields of grain.
We would drive to the lake
And build a fire at the sand pit
Burying the dead soldiers
And shooting our guns in the night
The sounds and our voices echoing
Into eternity.
Staring upwards into the black
You can see ten thousand stars
Mesmerizing in their beauty
Distant, sparkling and cold.
There is a peace in their remoteness
And a presence in their design
And you know that you are loved
And watched.
There is a sense
Deep down in the soul
That we are guided
By an invisible hand.
Ushered along life
From one place to the next
Incapable of vision
Until we see
The backwards past.
We make choices
But then we live them through
A combination of exposure
And free will.
God was watching me
And God was guiding me
Loving me in spite of myself
Even then
And so far from here.
If we had known
How things would change
I wonder what we would have done
But youth is seldom appreciated
Before it ages away.
I was anxious
And I was impatient
Searching for some sort of perfection
That I never found.
I wanted to
Trying to capture the impossible
And form something unique
In my hands.
To do something
That had never been done
And make the world over
By the force of my spirit.
But rather we are the changed
And are transformed by events
Molded, fired and tempered
And tested by trials
Over and over again.
A work in progress
Never quite finished
Heated, hammered and frozen
Until we are ready.
The real life is yet to come
The one we are training for
A new beginning
Of a beautiful forever.
Here we guess
Then we will know
Now we lose
And then we will live.
Our dreams a reality
And our suffering a blessing
Everything and everyone
Together at last.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Napalm
Napalm 12/8/2011
A crack has opened up
And a fire ignited
Fuel for a rebellion
Burning across the countryside
In a black trail of death.
I’ve got my Irish whiskey
And I’ve got my gasoline
With death in my eyes
And blood in my mouth.
We are marked
And we are judged
But we no longer fear
Because what can man ever do
That is worse than what we see.
The tail wags the dog
And the bottom feeders
Eat all the food
Stealing everything they can
And running away to hide.
But no one can hide forever
And keep their secrets hidden
Because we are here to search
And we are here to destroy.
It shouldn’t be a surprise
Because you have known it all along
That nothing lasts forever
And this farce has run its course.
Animals can’t rule the streets forever
And the ignorant can’t always win
So they have gamed all the systems
To steal what others earned.
No one tells the truth
And the good are mercilessly ridiculed
Skewing all reality just to fit their opinion
And leading us all into ruin.
Mere words are just not enough
Cheaply bought and turned around
Useless against the selfish
And the spiritually condemned.
They chant and they grasp
Because they have no mind of their own
Willingly led, robbed and programmed
Into narcissism and pride.
They crush those who tell the truth
And any who dare to challenge
Digging through their trash
And laying snares in their path.
A media culture complex run amok
And dragging us all downhill
But now it’s time to burn the curtains
And see who waits behind.
They will pardon killers
And call them heroes
Because of the hate
They hold in their hearts.
But they shall all fade away
Because you can’t make something
Out of nothing
And you can’t breed a soul.
The nights are full of terror
But soon they shall be reclaimed
In a one sided blow of justice
As they scatter in all directions.
The death bombs shall explode
And rain acid and fire
Reducing to dust all that stand
And blowing them away.
A voice in the distance
Is speaking from the past
A prophecy and a warning
Shining a light upon the lies.
When the sun is blotted out
The good time friends cower
And run for safety
But he who stands against it now
Shall forever be honored.
A crack has opened up
And a fire ignited
Fuel for a rebellion
Burning across the countryside
In a black trail of death.
I’ve got my Irish whiskey
And I’ve got my gasoline
With death in my eyes
And blood in my mouth.
We are marked
And we are judged
But we no longer fear
Because what can man ever do
That is worse than what we see.
The tail wags the dog
And the bottom feeders
Eat all the food
Stealing everything they can
And running away to hide.
But no one can hide forever
And keep their secrets hidden
Because we are here to search
And we are here to destroy.
It shouldn’t be a surprise
Because you have known it all along
That nothing lasts forever
And this farce has run its course.
Animals can’t rule the streets forever
And the ignorant can’t always win
So they have gamed all the systems
To steal what others earned.
No one tells the truth
And the good are mercilessly ridiculed
Skewing all reality just to fit their opinion
And leading us all into ruin.
Mere words are just not enough
Cheaply bought and turned around
Useless against the selfish
And the spiritually condemned.
They chant and they grasp
Because they have no mind of their own
Willingly led, robbed and programmed
Into narcissism and pride.
They crush those who tell the truth
And any who dare to challenge
Digging through their trash
And laying snares in their path.
A media culture complex run amok
And dragging us all downhill
But now it’s time to burn the curtains
And see who waits behind.
They will pardon killers
And call them heroes
Because of the hate
They hold in their hearts.
But they shall all fade away
Because you can’t make something
Out of nothing
And you can’t breed a soul.
The nights are full of terror
But soon they shall be reclaimed
In a one sided blow of justice
As they scatter in all directions.
The death bombs shall explode
And rain acid and fire
Reducing to dust all that stand
And blowing them away.
A voice in the distance
Is speaking from the past
A prophecy and a warning
Shining a light upon the lies.
When the sun is blotted out
The good time friends cower
And run for safety
But he who stands against it now
Shall forever be honored.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Demonolgy
Demonology 12/7/2011
Words are pretty useless
And they seldom finish the job
Falling useless on the ground
Like tears in the rain.
Life is muddy
And life is a mystery
An unsolvable riddle
That isn’t always funny.
You can try to do what is right
But no one gets out of this alive
And no matter how hard you try
Everything falls apart.
We do what we are told
But still we fail
Because by the time we learn
It is already too late.
The things that happen
Either for the good or bad
Are like singular pin points of time
That we can never connect
Until after we have suffered
And look backwards in disgust.
It is hard to know
What it is all worth
When our viewpoints
Change with emotions
And emotions with the wind.
All men have weaknesses
And circumstantial fortune
Funneling us into situations
With conflicting desires
And decisions.
Even though we promise ourselves
Evil paces back and forth
Always searching
And prodding our defenses.
It comes in unexpected ways
And slips through the tiniest of cracks
Slithering silently past
Even the sharpest eye.
Working its way
Into our minds
In a million small ways
Undetected and deadly.
We think thoughts
That seem harmless
But our words and thoughts
Are but conduits for action.
One thing leads to another
And nothing seems to happen
Leading us into doubt
And all kinds of self deception.
But everything we do
Ripples outwards in all directions
Causing unpredictable reactions
And uncontrolled consequences.
For the smallest of transgressions
Many have suffered and died
As the rot spreads like cancer
Wasting the future away.
The fatherless cry
And seek out affection
Poor, angry
Damaged and marked.
It has laid waste to riches
And stolen the peace of the innocent
Reducing to poverty
The good and the honest.
Murder, theft and deception
Lay at the feet of pride
That old worm of vanity
Eating a hole in our hearts.
Love isn’t easy
And a good man makes a choice
To endure all of loves burdens
No matter what.
To face again and again
The uphill fight
Trudging on, even when tired
And forgiving even when angry.
All men sin
But not all men learn
And all men lie
But not all grow.
I’ll wait
And keep on going
Regardless of the past
Because no man is perfect
Lest vanity infect in heart.
Because there is more than what we see
And this world is but a manifestation
Of the other
Yet to come.
A false pleasure can numb the senses
And I had the demons
Running in my veins
Setting me on fire
To where I could feel no pain.
I tried to do all
And be all
But no one is immune
Not from the life
And not from the world.
The good days outnumbered the bad
So I did not see the end coming
Because I was still heading up
When I started to fall.
How quickly things can change
As desperation leads to horror
As we spin tighter and tighter
Without any way out.
Unable to live
Without familiar comfort
The kind we loved
But wanted us dead.
Losing track of time
As the days become a blur
Until we cry out for death
To take us home.
But not for the smallest of chances
I would have slept in darkness
Lost forever in a deep black hole
Far away from peace.
If a man has eyes
Then now is the time
Time to look and time to see
The killers in the street
And the imposters at the wheel.
No secret shall be hidden
So there is nothing left to fear
Because if one can face the end
And live
Then others can breathe.
Now that I know
I live as new
No longer a stranger
And no longer a fool.
You and I are here
So these words are not wasted
More valuable that my emotions
The truth
That we must choose.
Words are pretty useless
And they seldom finish the job
Falling useless on the ground
Like tears in the rain.
Life is muddy
And life is a mystery
An unsolvable riddle
That isn’t always funny.
You can try to do what is right
But no one gets out of this alive
And no matter how hard you try
Everything falls apart.
We do what we are told
But still we fail
Because by the time we learn
It is already too late.
The things that happen
Either for the good or bad
Are like singular pin points of time
That we can never connect
Until after we have suffered
And look backwards in disgust.
It is hard to know
What it is all worth
When our viewpoints
Change with emotions
And emotions with the wind.
All men have weaknesses
And circumstantial fortune
Funneling us into situations
With conflicting desires
And decisions.
Even though we promise ourselves
Evil paces back and forth
Always searching
And prodding our defenses.
It comes in unexpected ways
And slips through the tiniest of cracks
Slithering silently past
Even the sharpest eye.
Working its way
Into our minds
In a million small ways
Undetected and deadly.
We think thoughts
That seem harmless
But our words and thoughts
Are but conduits for action.
One thing leads to another
And nothing seems to happen
Leading us into doubt
And all kinds of self deception.
But everything we do
Ripples outwards in all directions
Causing unpredictable reactions
And uncontrolled consequences.
For the smallest of transgressions
Many have suffered and died
As the rot spreads like cancer
Wasting the future away.
The fatherless cry
And seek out affection
Poor, angry
Damaged and marked.
It has laid waste to riches
And stolen the peace of the innocent
Reducing to poverty
The good and the honest.
Murder, theft and deception
Lay at the feet of pride
That old worm of vanity
Eating a hole in our hearts.
Love isn’t easy
And a good man makes a choice
To endure all of loves burdens
No matter what.
To face again and again
The uphill fight
Trudging on, even when tired
And forgiving even when angry.
All men sin
But not all men learn
And all men lie
But not all grow.
I’ll wait
And keep on going
Regardless of the past
Because no man is perfect
Lest vanity infect in heart.
Because there is more than what we see
And this world is but a manifestation
Of the other
Yet to come.
A false pleasure can numb the senses
And I had the demons
Running in my veins
Setting me on fire
To where I could feel no pain.
I tried to do all
And be all
But no one is immune
Not from the life
And not from the world.
The good days outnumbered the bad
So I did not see the end coming
Because I was still heading up
When I started to fall.
How quickly things can change
As desperation leads to horror
As we spin tighter and tighter
Without any way out.
Unable to live
Without familiar comfort
The kind we loved
But wanted us dead.
Losing track of time
As the days become a blur
Until we cry out for death
To take us home.
But not for the smallest of chances
I would have slept in darkness
Lost forever in a deep black hole
Far away from peace.
If a man has eyes
Then now is the time
Time to look and time to see
The killers in the street
And the imposters at the wheel.
No secret shall be hidden
So there is nothing left to fear
Because if one can face the end
And live
Then others can breathe.
Now that I know
I live as new
No longer a stranger
And no longer a fool.
You and I are here
So these words are not wasted
More valuable that my emotions
The truth
That we must choose.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Seven Years Ghost
Seven Years Ghost 12/5/2011
I had to give away the past
Even though it hurt
Seven years of waiting
For a seven years ghost
Walking in circles backwards
To try and turn back the clock.
I finally donated the clothes
And I finally sold the bed
Even though I wanted to keep it
Just like she saw it last.
I was so happy
And I thought we had forever
But some things are just too perfect to last
And too beautiful to hold.
I still dream of the past
So vivid and real
And I want to them to be true
To wake up in a different world
Where everyone and everything
Is as beautiful as the beginning.
A world where we never lose
The joy in our heart
And every single moment
Is full of generosity
And kindness.
Where even the quiet moments
Are like heaven
As I lay awake and listen
To the sound of her breathing.
A world where there is no emptiness
And no hole in my heart
With someone who understands
And knows.
I would do anything
To relive all the days
To repair all the damage
And be a better man.
You can be chained to the present
Or you can be chained to the past
Because the future is something we avoid
Pitiless and foreboding.
We are all prisoners of something
And none of us our free
Pacing backwards in our minds
Or dreaming pointless dreams.
I still don’t know which is better
To hold on
Or just to let go
And no one ever returns
To tell us for sure.
The dead spin is over
And I have started over again
A new beginning
And a second chance.
I am happy
But I’ll never be the same
Marked for lie
And permanently scarred.
I have shaved my beard
Because she wants it that way
What was once blondish red
Turned prematurely gray
All the color gone
And faded away.
Maybe she thinks I need a change
Or that I need to forget.
Because I was feeling tired
And older than I am
Always looking backwards can make you sick
And regret will steal every smile
Robbing you of every joy
Killing you every day.
I have a new family
And I love my baby very much
But he deserves better than me
And all the blackness that follows.
I try to imagine new dreams
But I’ve lived enough to know
That nothing lasts forever
And everything falls apart.
I started writing in the lonely hours
In the middle of the night
With a whiskey in my hand
But it took seven years
For me to know
And for me to share.
I send these words out
And let them crawl
In unknown directions
To whoever may read
And whoever may know.
Our daughter has her eyes
And now she is eleven
The little girl I love
The only thing that remains
Of the love I won
And lost.
The future is a mystery
And I’ll never be the same
But I will make the best of it
No matter what it takes
And no matter who knows.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Manslaughter
Manslaughter 12/2/2011
My mind is like a dark mansion
A house with many rooms
High on a rocky cliff
On a silent mountainside.
It is a house of splendor
With crystal chandeliers
And deep velvet curtains
Heavy tables and silver candelabras.
But it is also a house of horror
Haunted by the ghosts of the past
Both the living
And also the dead.
There rooms full of boxes
And the boxes hold memories
Some of them left opened
And some of them closed.
It is full of hidden treasures
And secret rooms
A refuge in times of trouble
And solitude for the soul.
Its walls are made of stone
Thick with history
Impregnable
And steep.
In the great hall
The hearth is burning
And my conscience sits before it
Brooding about the day.
His eyes reflect the fire
But his mind is somewhere else
Visiting the past
And haunting the future
Full of regret and sorrow.
The weapons hang on the walls
And torches keeps the passages lit
Because here it is always night
Blacker than black.
In the depths of endless winter
A remote and icy fortress
With blood in the mortar
And horror in the cellar.
Some of the rooms
Are quiet and dusty
Left exactly
As they touched them last
A silent reminder
Of love and loss.
But in the dungeon
Rests the deepest darkest self
Locked down tight
And straining against the chains.
He has suffered
And cries out in agony
Tortured by a thousand cuts
And planning his revenge.
Waiting and waiting
For what it seems like forever
Waiting for the guilty to visit
So he can devour them whole.
I have the secrets
And I know the reasons
Hidden in oak chests
Unsearchable and safe.
I know when
And I know how
The secrets that were hidden
That they think no one knows.
The secret is the proof
And the proof can make you sick
The kind we always wonder about
But then quickly
Suppress the thought.
I know what was done
And I know how
But the worst is the reason
Just as simple as it is low.
I wait by the door
For the lid to come off
When all of this passes away
And truth rises
Justified at last.
I am pale as a ghost
And blood is smeared on my face
But my eyes are burning
And my heart is solid iron.
If war shall come
Then I am ready
And if God should bless
Then I shall smile.
Trash 12/2/2011
You can make it look pretty
And you can teach it to speak
But you can never make noble
What is dead in the heart.
You can take mud
And mold it into something
But only God can give it life
And summon a spirit.
The world is full of mud
And we sit on mountains of trash
Empty, wasted and dead
The lifeless and the putrid.
You can make money
And you can establish law
Setting up little kings
With titles and glory.
But you can’t make a man
Out of nothing
And no one can give them humility
Or wisdom.
This ship was built to sink
And all the towers shall fall
Built to hold the temporary
Just for looks
And just for show.
Disposable reminders
Of temporary existence
Here today
And gone tomorrow.
We can make excuses
And we can praise the foolish
Lifting up fools
And putting down the good.
But all is fake
And make believe
The truth behind the lies
And the lie behind the scenes.
Though we are thrown away
And ridiculed
A man is never wasted
If he keeps his soul.
But a man of deception
Though he may bask in glory
Is nothing but vanity
Empty and useless.
I have lost more
Than I have gained
But I am not the only one
And I am not the last.
But what I have lost
Was never mine
And what I have gained
Remains forever.
My mind is like a dark mansion
A house with many rooms
High on a rocky cliff
On a silent mountainside.
It is a house of splendor
With crystal chandeliers
And deep velvet curtains
Heavy tables and silver candelabras.
But it is also a house of horror
Haunted by the ghosts of the past
Both the living
And also the dead.
There rooms full of boxes
And the boxes hold memories
Some of them left opened
And some of them closed.
It is full of hidden treasures
And secret rooms
A refuge in times of trouble
And solitude for the soul.
Its walls are made of stone
Thick with history
Impregnable
And steep.
In the great hall
The hearth is burning
And my conscience sits before it
Brooding about the day.
His eyes reflect the fire
But his mind is somewhere else
Visiting the past
And haunting the future
Full of regret and sorrow.
The weapons hang on the walls
And torches keeps the passages lit
Because here it is always night
Blacker than black.
In the depths of endless winter
A remote and icy fortress
With blood in the mortar
And horror in the cellar.
Some of the rooms
Are quiet and dusty
Left exactly
As they touched them last
A silent reminder
Of love and loss.
But in the dungeon
Rests the deepest darkest self
Locked down tight
And straining against the chains.
He has suffered
And cries out in agony
Tortured by a thousand cuts
And planning his revenge.
Waiting and waiting
For what it seems like forever
Waiting for the guilty to visit
So he can devour them whole.
I have the secrets
And I know the reasons
Hidden in oak chests
Unsearchable and safe.
I know when
And I know how
The secrets that were hidden
That they think no one knows.
The secret is the proof
And the proof can make you sick
The kind we always wonder about
But then quickly
Suppress the thought.
I know what was done
And I know how
But the worst is the reason
Just as simple as it is low.
I wait by the door
For the lid to come off
When all of this passes away
And truth rises
Justified at last.
I am pale as a ghost
And blood is smeared on my face
But my eyes are burning
And my heart is solid iron.
If war shall come
Then I am ready
And if God should bless
Then I shall smile.
Trash 12/2/2011
You can make it look pretty
And you can teach it to speak
But you can never make noble
What is dead in the heart.
You can take mud
And mold it into something
But only God can give it life
And summon a spirit.
The world is full of mud
And we sit on mountains of trash
Empty, wasted and dead
The lifeless and the putrid.
You can make money
And you can establish law
Setting up little kings
With titles and glory.
But you can’t make a man
Out of nothing
And no one can give them humility
Or wisdom.
This ship was built to sink
And all the towers shall fall
Built to hold the temporary
Just for looks
And just for show.
Disposable reminders
Of temporary existence
Here today
And gone tomorrow.
We can make excuses
And we can praise the foolish
Lifting up fools
And putting down the good.
But all is fake
And make believe
The truth behind the lies
And the lie behind the scenes.
Though we are thrown away
And ridiculed
A man is never wasted
If he keeps his soul.
But a man of deception
Though he may bask in glory
Is nothing but vanity
Empty and useless.
I have lost more
Than I have gained
But I am not the only one
And I am not the last.
But what I have lost
Was never mine
And what I have gained
Remains forever.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Late at night
Late at night 11/30/2011
Embrace the night
Because the day is over
With nothing to fear
And nothing to worry
Because I lightning in my hands.
The night blazes with light
And reverberates with sound
Pulsing in my veins
And heightening my senses.
The colors splash vibrant
Glowing with neon
As an angel with pink hair
Weaves her way over.
I am more alive than ever
And I wish it could last forever
That I could stay in this little world
And never go back.
To stay here
Past the bewitching hour
When the good die
And evil awakens.
I can feel time pass
But it doesn’t bother me
As I drink another round
And think of you.
Tomorrow I’ll drag myself to work
With all of the other lemmings
Cramming ourselves in metal cans
And waiting forever.
I’ll try not to think
As I sleep in the gray
Jerking myself awake
When my stop comes up.
But I have debts to pay
And I am far behind
Without any chance to escape
The endless stream of days.
Like so many others
I wonder about the chances
About all the different lives
I could have lived
And all the loves
I could have had.
If my choices had been better
And I had been wiser
Maybe if I had listened
With my head to the ground.
But I didn’t know
And I didn’t understand
Exactly how much it mattered
To pay attention
And pay the price.
I was just sleep walking
With my brain in neutral
Pushed along by events and people
To a destination
That I never wanted.
To you passer by
This is what I dream
That you would know
And maybe see
That a world without beauty
Is worthless and dying.
We could make it over
If only we would try
Taking a little piece of brilliance
And shooting it
On our day.
To laugh a little more
And live a little bolder
To make a life of richer textures
In any way we can.
We are more than what we do
And each conversation is a treasure
Another opportunity to embrace
And another life to cherish.
Embrace the night
Because the day is over
With nothing to fear
And nothing to worry
Because I lightning in my hands.
The night blazes with light
And reverberates with sound
Pulsing in my veins
And heightening my senses.
The colors splash vibrant
Glowing with neon
As an angel with pink hair
Weaves her way over.
I am more alive than ever
And I wish it could last forever
That I could stay in this little world
And never go back.
To stay here
Past the bewitching hour
When the good die
And evil awakens.
I can feel time pass
But it doesn’t bother me
As I drink another round
And think of you.
Tomorrow I’ll drag myself to work
With all of the other lemmings
Cramming ourselves in metal cans
And waiting forever.
I’ll try not to think
As I sleep in the gray
Jerking myself awake
When my stop comes up.
But I have debts to pay
And I am far behind
Without any chance to escape
The endless stream of days.
Like so many others
I wonder about the chances
About all the different lives
I could have lived
And all the loves
I could have had.
If my choices had been better
And I had been wiser
Maybe if I had listened
With my head to the ground.
But I didn’t know
And I didn’t understand
Exactly how much it mattered
To pay attention
And pay the price.
I was just sleep walking
With my brain in neutral
Pushed along by events and people
To a destination
That I never wanted.
To you passer by
This is what I dream
That you would know
And maybe see
That a world without beauty
Is worthless and dying.
We could make it over
If only we would try
Taking a little piece of brilliance
And shooting it
On our day.
To laugh a little more
And live a little bolder
To make a life of richer textures
In any way we can.
We are more than what we do
And each conversation is a treasure
Another opportunity to embrace
And another life to cherish.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
The Red Thread
The Red Thread 11/29/2011
An invisible red thread
Weaves through our lives
Connecting us together
Across time and space.
It is long but unbroken
A connection of shared destiny
Whether we know it or not
In and out at different points
But always intertwined.
The tides carry us
And the seasons change us
But even the dead and buried
Remember and know.
Against the impossibility of ages
Here we are again and again
Hitting the same notes
At the same exact time.
We dream and we wonder
Thinking the same thoughts
And imagining the same futures
Irrespective of inclination
Or tradition.
An interwoven commonality
Grows and breathes
Preparing us for something
That only God can know.
Some get married
And some get divorced
Children are born
While others die.
But the thread continues
And all are brought back together
Carefully traced backwards
To the beginning.
Against all the odds of eternity
Here we are
And here I speak
Forming words from thoughts
That come from a place
I have never seen.
The words must mean more
Than just what I see
As they travel outwards
In a trail of blood.
On our way to the heavens
We lean against each other
Learning how to live
As we wait for eternity.
For a reason bigger than me
I have learned from others
Leaving with their love
And their wisdom.
Until we meet again
Our thoughts remain together
Ancient as man
And full of promise.
An invisible red thread
Weaves through our lives
Connecting us together
Across time and space.
It is long but unbroken
A connection of shared destiny
Whether we know it or not
In and out at different points
But always intertwined.
The tides carry us
And the seasons change us
But even the dead and buried
Remember and know.
Against the impossibility of ages
Here we are again and again
Hitting the same notes
At the same exact time.
We dream and we wonder
Thinking the same thoughts
And imagining the same futures
Irrespective of inclination
Or tradition.
An interwoven commonality
Grows and breathes
Preparing us for something
That only God can know.
Some get married
And some get divorced
Children are born
While others die.
But the thread continues
And all are brought back together
Carefully traced backwards
To the beginning.
Against all the odds of eternity
Here we are
And here I speak
Forming words from thoughts
That come from a place
I have never seen.
The words must mean more
Than just what I see
As they travel outwards
In a trail of blood.
On our way to the heavens
We lean against each other
Learning how to live
As we wait for eternity.
For a reason bigger than me
I have learned from others
Leaving with their love
And their wisdom.
Until we meet again
Our thoughts remain together
Ancient as man
And full of promise.
Monday, November 28, 2011
The Hated
The Hated 11/28/2011
Either you love it
Or you hate it
Because okay
Will never be enough
Not now
Or ever again.
Go ahead
Do what you like
And do what you want
Because it’s all been done before
Unaccredited and unrecorded
But twice as cool.
I am not here
Just to talk
And I am not here
Just to argue.
But I have come
To start something
Something bigger than me
And bigger than words.
I have been cut off
And chopped off at the knees
My heart cut out
From the backside in.
But I am more
Than flesh and blood
And I am still standing
With deadened eyes
And burning wings.
I don’t care if it hurts
And I don’t care how it looks
Because that to, I have seen
And it does not matter in the end.
A real rebel shouldn’t play it safe
And attack the usual targets
But rather he should tell the truth
That will make him the hated.
Others go on
And think they are witty
Ridiculing the good and well intentioned
And excusing all the evil.
They look away
While the good are stabbed
And the innocent beaten
Cowering accomplices
After the fact.
Maybe they are afraid
Or maybe they don’t understand
But I am not of their world
Soulless and dead.
Others act without remorse
And how easily do they destroy
Carelessly selling out the good
For just a few dollars more.
How nonchalantly do they live
And deny the good
Showing their fake smile
Again and again.
They whistle past the grave yard
And drag their own tombs behind
Unaware and dumb
Wasted, deaf and dead.
It is two minutes to midnight
And still they lie
Oblivious to the horror
That was never a surprise.
They see only the visible
And they trust only in themselves
Doing what is right in their own minds
And ignoring the truth all around.
The spirit can’t be seen
And can go anywhere
Formless as smoke
And as strong iron.
It is in me
And with it, I have returned
Rising in a column of fire
Burning brighter than the sun.
I have waited long enough
Because if they don’t do it
Then maybe I will
Ready to die
And willing to kill.
I have rested my eyes
Upon the end
And I have set my face
Into the storm.
Nothing can stop it
And nothing can hold it
Greater than their dreams
And larger than their ambitions.
They can have my head
Because I am not afraid
And the end can come
For all I can care.
I have been here before
And I will be here after
With a fire in my heart
That no man can put out.
I am the shadow
And I am the hated
Hated because of my strength
And hated because I am good.
But they can hate all they want
And they can lie and steal
Turning the tables to their advantage
And counting all their money.
Soon the table shall be turned
And they shall be knocked over
Exposing the gamblers game
And crushing them to death.
The do not know the secret
And they live in their own efforts
Thinking that are clever
For all that they have won.
But I am the secret
And the one they didn’t know
Even though they knew me
They never saw my soul.
Greater than their deeds
And larger than their words
Cutting through every lie
And cleaving them in two.
We know not
Who stands before us
And we know not
Who has begged for help
Never recognizing the good
That we have rejected
And denied.
Yes, I am the hated
And yes, I wear it with honor
With my eyes burning them through
Unafraid
And smiling.
Either you love it
Or you hate it
Because okay
Will never be enough
Not now
Or ever again.
Go ahead
Do what you like
And do what you want
Because it’s all been done before
Unaccredited and unrecorded
But twice as cool.
I am not here
Just to talk
And I am not here
Just to argue.
But I have come
To start something
Something bigger than me
And bigger than words.
I have been cut off
And chopped off at the knees
My heart cut out
From the backside in.
But I am more
Than flesh and blood
And I am still standing
With deadened eyes
And burning wings.
I don’t care if it hurts
And I don’t care how it looks
Because that to, I have seen
And it does not matter in the end.
A real rebel shouldn’t play it safe
And attack the usual targets
But rather he should tell the truth
That will make him the hated.
Others go on
And think they are witty
Ridiculing the good and well intentioned
And excusing all the evil.
They look away
While the good are stabbed
And the innocent beaten
Cowering accomplices
After the fact.
Maybe they are afraid
Or maybe they don’t understand
But I am not of their world
Soulless and dead.
Others act without remorse
And how easily do they destroy
Carelessly selling out the good
For just a few dollars more.
How nonchalantly do they live
And deny the good
Showing their fake smile
Again and again.
They whistle past the grave yard
And drag their own tombs behind
Unaware and dumb
Wasted, deaf and dead.
It is two minutes to midnight
And still they lie
Oblivious to the horror
That was never a surprise.
They see only the visible
And they trust only in themselves
Doing what is right in their own minds
And ignoring the truth all around.
The spirit can’t be seen
And can go anywhere
Formless as smoke
And as strong iron.
It is in me
And with it, I have returned
Rising in a column of fire
Burning brighter than the sun.
I have waited long enough
Because if they don’t do it
Then maybe I will
Ready to die
And willing to kill.
I have rested my eyes
Upon the end
And I have set my face
Into the storm.
Nothing can stop it
And nothing can hold it
Greater than their dreams
And larger than their ambitions.
They can have my head
Because I am not afraid
And the end can come
For all I can care.
I have been here before
And I will be here after
With a fire in my heart
That no man can put out.
I am the shadow
And I am the hated
Hated because of my strength
And hated because I am good.
But they can hate all they want
And they can lie and steal
Turning the tables to their advantage
And counting all their money.
Soon the table shall be turned
And they shall be knocked over
Exposing the gamblers game
And crushing them to death.
The do not know the secret
And they live in their own efforts
Thinking that are clever
For all that they have won.
But I am the secret
And the one they didn’t know
Even though they knew me
They never saw my soul.
Greater than their deeds
And larger than their words
Cutting through every lie
And cleaving them in two.
We know not
Who stands before us
And we know not
Who has begged for help
Never recognizing the good
That we have rejected
And denied.
Yes, I am the hated
And yes, I wear it with honor
With my eyes burning them through
Unafraid
And smiling.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Crowning the Tree and Fingerprints
Crowning the Tree 11/25/2011
We walked around the city square
Looking in the shops
Warm and inviting
Glowing like little jewels
In a field of gray.
The street lights are adorned with Christmas
Just as they should be
Shining brightly in the night
As the music fills my ears.
They have wrapped the trees in lights
And the carolers surround the tree
Towering above our heads
And heavy with stars.
My son babbles wide-eyed
At all the magic he sees
A world full of promise
That has only just begun.
For the moment
We are all one
Living through another memory
Perfect, cool and clear.
Another precious moment
When I have all I could dream
With love all around me
In my arms
And in my heart.
Fingerprints 11/25/2011
Sometimes you have to guess
And sometimes you have a hunch
But there will always be
Somethings that you know
Things you can feel
In your heart and in your blood.
We can feel the excitement
And we can sense the danger
As we inch closer to the edge
And stare down into the abyss.
We can see it on their face
In the subtle signs of truth
Whether they are vain or humble
Arrogant or amused.
You can tell the seasons
By the fruit
And the days by the moon
Marking time with the cycles
Of planting and harvest
Birth and death.
We can drop rocks from a window
And know that they will drop
By weight and mass
They all fall to earth.
The stars move across the heavens
And the navigators trace their movements home
Gazing upwards forever
In the middle of the sea.
Though the world may be gray
And covered with fog
You know where the trail turns
Because you have taken it before.
I am here
And I should know why
Because if I don’t
Then I never learned a thing.
Words can tell a story
But memory tells the truth
And if we want to change
Then we must do it now.
I am on the side of the road
And it is a long walk home
Left out to lighten the load
And forgotten in the dust.
I don’t mind the walk
Because I know where it ends
Closer and closer
To the end.
I know the words
Even before they are said
And I know the reasons
Without having to ask.
It all traces backwards
To the same hand and mouth
The same today as yesterday
Predictable and dead.
The leaves are falling
And so also shall the guilty
After using up all their strength
And running out of grace.
The words still resonate
And the truth still matters
For those with a mind
And a heart of their own.
What has gone up
Shall also come down
And evil men shall perish
Just as they have killed.
Morning has past
And bloodshed
Does not herald a spring
Nothing but the fullness of time
Wearily dragging itself home.
Time shall even out
And make us pay back our debts
To each as he has done
And to each
What they have wrought.
We walked around the city square
Looking in the shops
Warm and inviting
Glowing like little jewels
In a field of gray.
The street lights are adorned with Christmas
Just as they should be
Shining brightly in the night
As the music fills my ears.
They have wrapped the trees in lights
And the carolers surround the tree
Towering above our heads
And heavy with stars.
My son babbles wide-eyed
At all the magic he sees
A world full of promise
That has only just begun.
For the moment
We are all one
Living through another memory
Perfect, cool and clear.
Another precious moment
When I have all I could dream
With love all around me
In my arms
And in my heart.
Fingerprints 11/25/2011
Sometimes you have to guess
And sometimes you have a hunch
But there will always be
Somethings that you know
Things you can feel
In your heart and in your blood.
We can feel the excitement
And we can sense the danger
As we inch closer to the edge
And stare down into the abyss.
We can see it on their face
In the subtle signs of truth
Whether they are vain or humble
Arrogant or amused.
You can tell the seasons
By the fruit
And the days by the moon
Marking time with the cycles
Of planting and harvest
Birth and death.
We can drop rocks from a window
And know that they will drop
By weight and mass
They all fall to earth.
The stars move across the heavens
And the navigators trace their movements home
Gazing upwards forever
In the middle of the sea.
Though the world may be gray
And covered with fog
You know where the trail turns
Because you have taken it before.
I am here
And I should know why
Because if I don’t
Then I never learned a thing.
Words can tell a story
But memory tells the truth
And if we want to change
Then we must do it now.
I am on the side of the road
And it is a long walk home
Left out to lighten the load
And forgotten in the dust.
I don’t mind the walk
Because I know where it ends
Closer and closer
To the end.
I know the words
Even before they are said
And I know the reasons
Without having to ask.
It all traces backwards
To the same hand and mouth
The same today as yesterday
Predictable and dead.
The leaves are falling
And so also shall the guilty
After using up all their strength
And running out of grace.
The words still resonate
And the truth still matters
For those with a mind
And a heart of their own.
What has gone up
Shall also come down
And evil men shall perish
Just as they have killed.
Morning has past
And bloodshed
Does not herald a spring
Nothing but the fullness of time
Wearily dragging itself home.
Time shall even out
And make us pay back our debts
To each as he has done
And to each
What they have wrought.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thankful a poem
Thankful 11/23/2011
It is hard to be thankful
When there is so much to do
And you have fallen backwards
Tumbling down to the bottom
Just to start all over again.
It is enough to make you angry
Because of all the wasted time
And it is hard to see the future
Through the fog of uncertainty.
I have fought against it
But it is as pointless
As throwing yourself against a wall
Breaking yourself, bruised and bloody
Without ever breaking through.
Everything remains the same
Despite the greatest of efforts
Because gravity always holds us back
And the world
Crushes us with its mass.
The worst things continue on
As if no one can even see it
While the good give up
And give in
More and more and more.
But it is wise to learn
Sit back and understand
That while you don’t always win
God will always prevail.
That there is joy and bounty
Family and friends
Room enough for more
Despite loneliness and despair.
That if we survive it once
We can do it again
And that there is nothing left to fear
That we have not already seen
And known.
We have survived
Even in the midst of enemies
And we have happiness
Despite all the loss.
We are the catalyst
And we are the solution
In a hundred thousand places
At the same crack in time.
I am just as ready
As I will ever be
A bridge from thought to action
And a possibility
Waiting to happen.
We can rejoice and be thankful
And do something authentically our own
Not waiting to be told or paid
About someone else’s truth.
Yes evil is real
And yes there are soulless men
But all you have to do is remember
That they will never start a fire
If they don’t even have a spark.
They will never make a difference
And their love will not survive
Because you can’t make something from nothing
And emptiness
Disintegrates with time.
Let us be merry
Even though we lose
And let us laugh
Because we know.
You can be disappointed
Without being discouraged
And you can also lose
But remain undefeated.
The anthem is here
In the words of the passionate
And today is the beginning
Of another beautiful ending.
So pass around
The booze and the food
And we shall talk before fire
As good a day as any
To remember the good
And forget the bad.
It is hard to be thankful
When there is so much to do
And you have fallen backwards
Tumbling down to the bottom
Just to start all over again.
It is enough to make you angry
Because of all the wasted time
And it is hard to see the future
Through the fog of uncertainty.
I have fought against it
But it is as pointless
As throwing yourself against a wall
Breaking yourself, bruised and bloody
Without ever breaking through.
Everything remains the same
Despite the greatest of efforts
Because gravity always holds us back
And the world
Crushes us with its mass.
The worst things continue on
As if no one can even see it
While the good give up
And give in
More and more and more.
But it is wise to learn
Sit back and understand
That while you don’t always win
God will always prevail.
That there is joy and bounty
Family and friends
Room enough for more
Despite loneliness and despair.
That if we survive it once
We can do it again
And that there is nothing left to fear
That we have not already seen
And known.
We have survived
Even in the midst of enemies
And we have happiness
Despite all the loss.
We are the catalyst
And we are the solution
In a hundred thousand places
At the same crack in time.
I am just as ready
As I will ever be
A bridge from thought to action
And a possibility
Waiting to happen.
We can rejoice and be thankful
And do something authentically our own
Not waiting to be told or paid
About someone else’s truth.
Yes evil is real
And yes there are soulless men
But all you have to do is remember
That they will never start a fire
If they don’t even have a spark.
They will never make a difference
And their love will not survive
Because you can’t make something from nothing
And emptiness
Disintegrates with time.
Let us be merry
Even though we lose
And let us laugh
Because we know.
You can be disappointed
Without being discouraged
And you can also lose
But remain undefeated.
The anthem is here
In the words of the passionate
And today is the beginning
Of another beautiful ending.
So pass around
The booze and the food
And we shall talk before fire
As good a day as any
To remember the good
And forget the bad.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Scrimshaw
Scrimshaw 11/18/2011
Men at sea
And men at war
Fashioned art in trenches
And carved messages
On whale bone.
And Monks transcribed scripture
Over many silent centuries
In the depths of darkness
Lonely and secluded.
Some wrote letters
To their families back home
Preserved in memory
Long after they were lost.
There is more than one way
To send a message
And I have gotten a few
Etched into my brain
And burned into memory.
Hidden in caves
And bound into books
The words and lives of the dead
Signed, sealed and forgotten.
Long before we knew
Across endless time
Man yearned to tell
And man yearned to know.
In a cell or in chains
The early Christians wrote
Messages of hope
And words of faith.
As much for the writer
As for the reader
So are heartfelt prayers
A future testimony
Bigger than death.
I too long to know
And I also search for meaning
Trying to capture
A flame in my hands.
Our words make us who we are
And I have read quite a few
Both for the good
And for the bad.
I got them in the night
Intended to mock and frighten
And I guess it’s because I told the truth
But that was all I could do.
I guess they thought I should lie
And be just like them
To suffer and pretend
That it was all my fault.
To cover up for a fraud
Who betrayed every single decency
Texting at funerals
And right in my face.
It took the strength of ten
To not strike them down
But then only because
That is what they wanted.
Vague juvenile threats
Mocking my faith
And gloating
As if love could ever be won
Or lost.
Could anyone think it honorable?
And could anyone think it worthy?
The kind of words that makes you wretch
And force up bile.
Some are indirect
And come form come word of mouth
When they know
Who they will tell.
Trading places and trading faces
And changing names on paper
So you have to see it every day
And know how much you lost.
Sometimes they came in the mail
So I kept them in stacks
Both the kind cards
And the cruel hatred
Just to mock, injure and kill.
Other times it was the call backs
Where they left my name and number
So that I would get messages
And make me feel like trash.
Or an unsolicited e-mail
Selling something you lost
Just a way to destroy
Worse than any death.
But the worst is the false witness
When they blame then on you
Even though you were honest
And never hurt anyone.
I remember letters
And I remember words
From lovers, friends and family
And what each one meant.
She said she knew
That it would end badly
But she just didn't understand
That nothing is ever over
And the end has only begun.
I also have a message
And it is written on the wall
Divided in the sand
Before I even knew.
I may be humble
But my message is strong
Bourne on the wings
Of an iron angel
Spirited and sure.
I do not know how
And I do not know why
But even the broken
Can heal the broken hearted.
Let these words find their home
Let them mean more to them
Than they can for me
A better ending
And a better trust.
Let these words fly
And let them leave a mark
That although the good also die
Truth still reigns.
To send the message
Loud and clear
That we are ready
No matter what shall come
Loyal to the end
Indomitable and true.
Knowing where we are from
And proud of who we are
An ancient legion
Undefeated and alive.
Men at sea
And men at war
Fashioned art in trenches
And carved messages
On whale bone.
And Monks transcribed scripture
Over many silent centuries
In the depths of darkness
Lonely and secluded.
Some wrote letters
To their families back home
Preserved in memory
Long after they were lost.
There is more than one way
To send a message
And I have gotten a few
Etched into my brain
And burned into memory.
Hidden in caves
And bound into books
The words and lives of the dead
Signed, sealed and forgotten.
Long before we knew
Across endless time
Man yearned to tell
And man yearned to know.
In a cell or in chains
The early Christians wrote
Messages of hope
And words of faith.
As much for the writer
As for the reader
So are heartfelt prayers
A future testimony
Bigger than death.
I too long to know
And I also search for meaning
Trying to capture
A flame in my hands.
Our words make us who we are
And I have read quite a few
Both for the good
And for the bad.
I got them in the night
Intended to mock and frighten
And I guess it’s because I told the truth
But that was all I could do.
I guess they thought I should lie
And be just like them
To suffer and pretend
That it was all my fault.
To cover up for a fraud
Who betrayed every single decency
Texting at funerals
And right in my face.
It took the strength of ten
To not strike them down
But then only because
That is what they wanted.
Vague juvenile threats
Mocking my faith
And gloating
As if love could ever be won
Or lost.
Could anyone think it honorable?
And could anyone think it worthy?
The kind of words that makes you wretch
And force up bile.
Some are indirect
And come form come word of mouth
When they know
Who they will tell.
Trading places and trading faces
And changing names on paper
So you have to see it every day
And know how much you lost.
Sometimes they came in the mail
So I kept them in stacks
Both the kind cards
And the cruel hatred
Just to mock, injure and kill.
Other times it was the call backs
Where they left my name and number
So that I would get messages
And make me feel like trash.
Or an unsolicited e-mail
Selling something you lost
Just a way to destroy
Worse than any death.
But the worst is the false witness
When they blame then on you
Even though you were honest
And never hurt anyone.
I remember letters
And I remember words
From lovers, friends and family
And what each one meant.
She said she knew
That it would end badly
But she just didn't understand
That nothing is ever over
And the end has only begun.
I also have a message
And it is written on the wall
Divided in the sand
Before I even knew.
I may be humble
But my message is strong
Bourne on the wings
Of an iron angel
Spirited and sure.
I do not know how
And I do not know why
But even the broken
Can heal the broken hearted.
Let these words find their home
Let them mean more to them
Than they can for me
A better ending
And a better trust.
Let these words fly
And let them leave a mark
That although the good also die
Truth still reigns.
To send the message
Loud and clear
That we are ready
No matter what shall come
Loyal to the end
Indomitable and true.
Knowing where we are from
And proud of who we are
An ancient legion
Undefeated and alive.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Passing the Torch, Minute by Minute, and 11:17 pm
Passing the torch 11/17/2011
Sometimes we are caught by the sun
And burn brighter than we are
Reflecting concentrated beams
In all directions.
An undeserved gift
Full of mystery
Freely given
In the most unlikely ways
To the most unlikely people.
In every generation
And in just the right amount
The brilliant flames of God
Poured out upon man
In the darkest of night.
Inhabiting a willing heart
The spirit comes to live
A gift too great
To hold in secret
And too precious to waste.
Undeniable
Even in staggering loss
And more valuable than money
The pure nectar of inspiration
For all men to drink.
If we ask
We will be given
And if we are humble
We will be tested.
But the world
Will look different
When we look back
Watered with the blood
And fed with our flesh.
Hardship, loss, and terror
Can try the strongest of men
Tempting us in all directions
And dragging down the mighty.
An endless night has fallen
And some have fallen asleep
Others smug with their money
Pretend not to notice
Because they think that they are safe.
But no amount of money
And no amount of lies
Can change the kind of darkness
That starves the human soul.
It is time for the silent
To wake up their hearts
To see by the light of the fire
And touch eternity.
Minute by minute 11/17/2011
I watched the red tail lights
Has they turned between the trees
Turning left and then right
Out of the neighborhood
And out of my sight.
I always watched
Like the foolish ritual mattered
As if I didn’t watch
Something horrible would happen.
In life things will happen
But not the way we think
Guarding against the predictable
But asleep to the unlikely.
My phone rang
And I noticed the time
Unexpected but full of promise
On a day I’ll never forget.
But wisdom doesn’t always come
In time to save the good
And clarity seldom appears
Until it’s too late.
I did hear the words
And I knew that I was lucky
But who would have thought
Such an unlikely end.
That horror could come creeping
In a crack I never noticed
Worming its way in
Undetected and deadly.
Like a poison in the bloodstream
It traveled unchecked
Killing me slowly
From the inside out.
Persistently probing the perimeter
And lying every day
Leaving no stone unturned
And no tactic unexplored.
Such is the tragedy
The one you never see coming
From an insignificant source
Many of the great have fallen.
So I set them up
And I then I knock them down
Taking shot after shot
And breaking all the bottles
On the patio.
I spray painted
The inside of the my jeep
And I wrote on cocktail napkins
Scrawling out words
About death and dying.
I cut holes in the wall
And I left poems inside
Sealing them up
Where no one could see.
I drank to forget
And I drank to remember
Balling my fists in a rage
And smashing everything around.
Its hard to eat
When food has no taste
And its hard to live
When you can’t see the point.
I was wasted away
And I slept when I could
Crawling inside a deep black hole
Waiting for the nightmare to end.
My thoughts were of horror
And my dreams full of death
Because nothing was ever enough
And I wanted so much more.
I knew that they were watching
But I no longer cared
My life shrinking inwards
As all my hopes disappeared.
The time ticked by
But nothing every changed
As I reeled from the blows
Day after day
And night after night.
I felt no pain
And I felt no joy
Just a ghost
Lip syncing a life.
I wanted to throw everything away
But also keep every memory
Holding on to the shreds
Undisturbed and collecting dust.
I walked from room to room
And the memories crushed me
With every single inch
A story and a hope.
I left her things
Exactly has she touched them last
And I watched as they collected dust
Draining my life away.
Thanksgiving came
And I was all alone
Unable to answer the phone
And laying on the couch.
No one knows
The private horrors of others
And on one can guess
The weight of silence.
Not until you have lived it
Can any man know
What it means to have it all
But nothing of value.
The liquor covered the pain
But only for a little while
And then it always came back
Worse than before.
The past has a grip
That tightens with time
But even the dark night of the soul
Can never kill the good.
Now I see
And I hope someday to feel
Once again the comfort of laughter
And lightning in my hands.
11:17 pm 11/17/2011
At 11:17 the telephone rang
A secret signal
from my lover
Reminding me
That I was remembered.
I was remembered then
And I was remembered later
But now that it is forgotten
I see it even more often
In a thousand countless ways.
We live but once
And the optimism of youth
Fades into desperation
Because time is running out
And possibilities shrink.
When I was young
I will filled with hope
But now my hopes have faded
Until they almost disappear.
I am marked
And no soap can wash it
And I am judged
And no man can change it.
I see the number
And pain replaces the joy
Reducing me a little more
Until I waste away.
If I could only return
To that very first moment
How different I would be
Better than she remembers
The single best version
Of all I could be.
But I cannot return to that moment
And even God must wonder
Why I cannot forget
A single solitary instant
Rolling over and over again.
If I die before the end
Perhaps it will be at 11:17
But I won’t be around to notice
And I won’t wonder or care.
Bury my ashes
And water them with whiskey
Light a single while candle
And simply walk away.
God will bring me back
And then I will understand
Forgiven perfectly
In a way I never could.
Sometimes we are caught by the sun
And burn brighter than we are
Reflecting concentrated beams
In all directions.
An undeserved gift
Full of mystery
Freely given
In the most unlikely ways
To the most unlikely people.
In every generation
And in just the right amount
The brilliant flames of God
Poured out upon man
In the darkest of night.
Inhabiting a willing heart
The spirit comes to live
A gift too great
To hold in secret
And too precious to waste.
Undeniable
Even in staggering loss
And more valuable than money
The pure nectar of inspiration
For all men to drink.
If we ask
We will be given
And if we are humble
We will be tested.
But the world
Will look different
When we look back
Watered with the blood
And fed with our flesh.
Hardship, loss, and terror
Can try the strongest of men
Tempting us in all directions
And dragging down the mighty.
An endless night has fallen
And some have fallen asleep
Others smug with their money
Pretend not to notice
Because they think that they are safe.
But no amount of money
And no amount of lies
Can change the kind of darkness
That starves the human soul.
It is time for the silent
To wake up their hearts
To see by the light of the fire
And touch eternity.
Minute by minute 11/17/2011
I watched the red tail lights
Has they turned between the trees
Turning left and then right
Out of the neighborhood
And out of my sight.
I always watched
Like the foolish ritual mattered
As if I didn’t watch
Something horrible would happen.
In life things will happen
But not the way we think
Guarding against the predictable
But asleep to the unlikely.
My phone rang
And I noticed the time
Unexpected but full of promise
On a day I’ll never forget.
But wisdom doesn’t always come
In time to save the good
And clarity seldom appears
Until it’s too late.
I did hear the words
And I knew that I was lucky
But who would have thought
Such an unlikely end.
That horror could come creeping
In a crack I never noticed
Worming its way in
Undetected and deadly.
Like a poison in the bloodstream
It traveled unchecked
Killing me slowly
From the inside out.
Persistently probing the perimeter
And lying every day
Leaving no stone unturned
And no tactic unexplored.
Such is the tragedy
The one you never see coming
From an insignificant source
Many of the great have fallen.
So I set them up
And I then I knock them down
Taking shot after shot
And breaking all the bottles
On the patio.
I spray painted
The inside of the my jeep
And I wrote on cocktail napkins
Scrawling out words
About death and dying.
I cut holes in the wall
And I left poems inside
Sealing them up
Where no one could see.
I drank to forget
And I drank to remember
Balling my fists in a rage
And smashing everything around.
Its hard to eat
When food has no taste
And its hard to live
When you can’t see the point.
I was wasted away
And I slept when I could
Crawling inside a deep black hole
Waiting for the nightmare to end.
My thoughts were of horror
And my dreams full of death
Because nothing was ever enough
And I wanted so much more.
I knew that they were watching
But I no longer cared
My life shrinking inwards
As all my hopes disappeared.
The time ticked by
But nothing every changed
As I reeled from the blows
Day after day
And night after night.
I felt no pain
And I felt no joy
Just a ghost
Lip syncing a life.
I wanted to throw everything away
But also keep every memory
Holding on to the shreds
Undisturbed and collecting dust.
I walked from room to room
And the memories crushed me
With every single inch
A story and a hope.
I left her things
Exactly has she touched them last
And I watched as they collected dust
Draining my life away.
Thanksgiving came
And I was all alone
Unable to answer the phone
And laying on the couch.
No one knows
The private horrors of others
And on one can guess
The weight of silence.
Not until you have lived it
Can any man know
What it means to have it all
But nothing of value.
The liquor covered the pain
But only for a little while
And then it always came back
Worse than before.
The past has a grip
That tightens with time
But even the dark night of the soul
Can never kill the good.
Now I see
And I hope someday to feel
Once again the comfort of laughter
And lightning in my hands.
11:17 pm 11/17/2011
At 11:17 the telephone rang
A secret signal
from my lover
Reminding me
That I was remembered.
I was remembered then
And I was remembered later
But now that it is forgotten
I see it even more often
In a thousand countless ways.
We live but once
And the optimism of youth
Fades into desperation
Because time is running out
And possibilities shrink.
When I was young
I will filled with hope
But now my hopes have faded
Until they almost disappear.
I am marked
And no soap can wash it
And I am judged
And no man can change it.
I see the number
And pain replaces the joy
Reducing me a little more
Until I waste away.
If I could only return
To that very first moment
How different I would be
Better than she remembers
The single best version
Of all I could be.
But I cannot return to that moment
And even God must wonder
Why I cannot forget
A single solitary instant
Rolling over and over again.
If I die before the end
Perhaps it will be at 11:17
But I won’t be around to notice
And I won’t wonder or care.
Bury my ashes
And water them with whiskey
Light a single while candle
And simply walk away.
God will bring me back
And then I will understand
Forgiven perfectly
In a way I never could.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The Test
The Test 11/16/2011
There is a flip side to everything
Even in loss, shame, and horror
An opportunity arises
To either grasp at greatness
Or sink into death.
As long as we live
We will never get past it
The endless testing
And the endless strife.
We can fail a thousand times
But then we understand
A miraculous renewal of the mind
Coming from the inside out.
It can take a long time
And nothing makes us immune
From falling down
And learning all over again.
I have lived it through
And once I felt invincible
With everything I ever wanted
And nothing beyond my reach.
But you can’t grasp at eternity
Without suffering and pain
And I flew too close to the sun
Burning myself along the way.
The shame is worse than the loss
And the loss snowballed with time
One thing leading to another
All alone without a handhold
Or love.
But to be rejected is a chance
And to be forgotten a test
An opportunity to hold your head high
And lay hold at greatness.
As long as we live
There will always be sacrifice
And the sacrifice
Shall always be
The first and the best.
Offered up unblemished
In a single shining moment
A perfect payment
For the selfish
And the guilty.
This is the moment
That had been waiting
Since before I knew
And before I was born.
Just waiting for the wisdom
To catch up with time
And for me to understand
The truth in the words.
To know the price
And pay it gladly
And to smile
Even when
I wanted to die.
Evil happens
And when it does
It is all based on a lie
And a price must be paid
One way or another.
The debt is heavy
And the pain is great
Greater than the weak can bear
The shame and the loss.
I am not worthy
Of the sacrifice I have given
But God makes men great
And by his grace
I am strong.
People are quick to judge
And they are quick to run
Because it is easier to blame
Than it is to understand.
Some follow their emotions
And are led by the nose
Following the feed
Without question
And without thought.
But a man should know the difference
And contemplate the truth
Apart from their own comfort
And separate from their greed.
Our pride drives us
And we fall into anger
Missing the greatest of treasures
Just to get our way.
The tails wags the dog
And cuts off the head
Stumbling along
Until we bleed to death.
It shouldn’t be a surprise
Because this is what you get
When we value comfort above honor
And God with ourselves.
There is a flip side to everything
Even in loss, shame, and horror
An opportunity arises
To either grasp at greatness
Or sink into death.
As long as we live
We will never get past it
The endless testing
And the endless strife.
We can fail a thousand times
But then we understand
A miraculous renewal of the mind
Coming from the inside out.
It can take a long time
And nothing makes us immune
From falling down
And learning all over again.
I have lived it through
And once I felt invincible
With everything I ever wanted
And nothing beyond my reach.
But you can’t grasp at eternity
Without suffering and pain
And I flew too close to the sun
Burning myself along the way.
The shame is worse than the loss
And the loss snowballed with time
One thing leading to another
All alone without a handhold
Or love.
But to be rejected is a chance
And to be forgotten a test
An opportunity to hold your head high
And lay hold at greatness.
As long as we live
There will always be sacrifice
And the sacrifice
Shall always be
The first and the best.
Offered up unblemished
In a single shining moment
A perfect payment
For the selfish
And the guilty.
This is the moment
That had been waiting
Since before I knew
And before I was born.
Just waiting for the wisdom
To catch up with time
And for me to understand
The truth in the words.
To know the price
And pay it gladly
And to smile
Even when
I wanted to die.
Evil happens
And when it does
It is all based on a lie
And a price must be paid
One way or another.
The debt is heavy
And the pain is great
Greater than the weak can bear
The shame and the loss.
I am not worthy
Of the sacrifice I have given
But God makes men great
And by his grace
I am strong.
People are quick to judge
And they are quick to run
Because it is easier to blame
Than it is to understand.
Some follow their emotions
And are led by the nose
Following the feed
Without question
And without thought.
But a man should know the difference
And contemplate the truth
Apart from their own comfort
And separate from their greed.
Our pride drives us
And we fall into anger
Missing the greatest of treasures
Just to get our way.
The tails wags the dog
And cuts off the head
Stumbling along
Until we bleed to death.
It shouldn’t be a surprise
Because this is what you get
When we value comfort above honor
And God with ourselves.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Breakfast in Babylon
Breakfast in Babylon 11/14/2011
You can tell by experience
Whether it’s worth it or not
But by the smell of last night’s breakfast
It’s the same as before.
Circling around inside of our heads
Are memories of laughter
And easy smiles
Of beautiful lives
And painless goodbyes.
All men suffer
But not all learn
Because we think ourselves
Into inaction
And fall into
Our own rewards.
You have to be strong
To see the truth
And know that there is no choice
But to fight or die.
Because no theory can replace
The truth we always knew
That we are the hated
And only our strength
Can keep us alive.
You can justify
And you can argue
But no matter what is said.
if you have seen it before
You shall see it again.
The Greeks and the Romans
Have all come and gone
Just like all the ancients
More the same
Than any will admit.
What has come walking backwards
Is the same we saw leaving home.
Nothing much left to chance
If you run
And hide in the sand.
There are some things you guess
But there are some things you know
And I have learned
And now I know.
You see the trees
And how they change
By their color we know the seasons
And by their fruit
We know the truth.
We grow up
And we grow wise
But not every man shall understand
What it means to know.
A man should look at the results
And remember from where it came
Because not everything happens by chance
If you connect all the dots.
All must pay the price
But some pay sooner than others
A perfect sacrifice
Fattened and killed.
I have tracked the numbers
And I have seen
The foot prints
In the snow.
Tracing them back
To the scene of the crime
And matching up the fingerprints
To see where they belong.
The enemy is a false safety
And the political statists
Without courage or conscience
Trading away all our tomorrows
For power and success.
A short term victory
Is but death in the long run
As man seeks self interest
And follows the herd
Off a cliff.
In an absence of heroes
The vain worship themselves
While we stumble backwards
Into Babylon.
You can tell by experience
Whether it’s worth it or not
But by the smell of last night’s breakfast
It’s the same as before.
Circling around inside of our heads
Are memories of laughter
And easy smiles
Of beautiful lives
And painless goodbyes.
All men suffer
But not all learn
Because we think ourselves
Into inaction
And fall into
Our own rewards.
You have to be strong
To see the truth
And know that there is no choice
But to fight or die.
Because no theory can replace
The truth we always knew
That we are the hated
And only our strength
Can keep us alive.
You can justify
And you can argue
But no matter what is said.
if you have seen it before
You shall see it again.
The Greeks and the Romans
Have all come and gone
Just like all the ancients
More the same
Than any will admit.
What has come walking backwards
Is the same we saw leaving home.
Nothing much left to chance
If you run
And hide in the sand.
There are some things you guess
But there are some things you know
And I have learned
And now I know.
You see the trees
And how they change
By their color we know the seasons
And by their fruit
We know the truth.
We grow up
And we grow wise
But not every man shall understand
What it means to know.
A man should look at the results
And remember from where it came
Because not everything happens by chance
If you connect all the dots.
All must pay the price
But some pay sooner than others
A perfect sacrifice
Fattened and killed.
I have tracked the numbers
And I have seen
The foot prints
In the snow.
Tracing them back
To the scene of the crime
And matching up the fingerprints
To see where they belong.
The enemy is a false safety
And the political statists
Without courage or conscience
Trading away all our tomorrows
For power and success.
A short term victory
Is but death in the long run
As man seeks self interest
And follows the herd
Off a cliff.
In an absence of heroes
The vain worship themselves
While we stumble backwards
Into Babylon.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Anonymous 11/10/11
I am a secret
Looking across the difference
Between the known
And the invisible.
A man of sad eyes
And a lonely heart
But still standing
With head held high
And trying to smile.
Time drips in a glass
Faster and faster
Into the present
And away from the past.
Adding up
One on top of the other
To the problems
That we have ignored.
The thoughts have changed
And my heart has hardened
Crystallizing memory
Within the wisdom of living.
Growing up and falling down
Just to meet in the middle
As dangerous as they are tempting
The feelings of alienation.
I am separated from the world
And apart from love
Unable to feel the same pleasures
Without regret or pain.
Across a frozen sea
Is everything I remember
All of the people
And all of the love.
But you can’t give up one thing
Without losing something else
And I feel so very alone
And cold.
The tastes are bland
And the colors washed out
Fading into the icy white
Far from the passionate reds
And vivid oranges
All bleached away, and dead.
On the other side
Are my passions
The feelings that I loved
And made me alive.
She told me
That I lived in my emotions
And let them rule my days
But we all have emotions
And sometimes they are folly
Destroying us all.
It isn’t what flashes in our minds
It is what we do that counts
Either we replay the feelings over and over
Until we act
Or we smash them into pieces.
My passions are still present
But I have locked them away
Underneath the ice
Where the water is fresh
And the fish are slow.
If I acted on my feelings
Where would I be
And what horror would I do
Perhaps blood on my face
And blood on my hands.
If I acted out the passions
What wild place would call me
Free from all expectations
And all obligations.
Free to escape
And free to run
Letting all the damage spread out
Behind me.
But that is for the cowards
Who run from the test
Who cannot stand the long run
Giving up for someone else.
What would my children remember
If I had left them alone
Holding the empty bags of lies
And stupid juvenile words.
No that is for the shallow
And that is for the weak
Grabbing on
To whatever is convenient
And running away.
But it takes two
To make decisions
And only one to throw it away
But not that I haven’t learned
And not that I didn’t know.
When we were young
None of us knew
But it was only after I learned
That the suffering came
And I fell from grace.
But even though she may not know
I have stood it well
Learning and growing
From the inside out.
I shall cross the ice
But even if I sink
There are worse things than dying
That is the thing
That only a few will know
And even fewer ever tell.
The crossing is risky
And the crossing is cold
But so is giving up
And so is giving in.
But better it is to try
That it is to wonder
Staring across time
Dead and cold
It could be here
Or the dark side of the moon
A place where the hidden souls flee
And only the brave ever know.
Behind the Curtain 11/10/2011
Look behind the curtain
And you will see
All the strings and levers
Discovering the truth
Behind what they show.
The false idols
And the little gods of fools
The worship of the masses
To the vanity of men.
The arrogance of the powerful
And all their secret hatred
Carefully hidden
But true.
A false flag is rising
And it is a bloody banner
A great and shining lie
To take in the weak
And the fully dependent.
Beware of deception
Because it grows every day
Invading ever crack
And covering every angle.
Guns, bombs and missiles
Are packed up and shipped
But not by who you think
And not for what you know.
To kill the good
And savage the innocent
The apocalyptic results
Of jealous vanity.
Keep your eyes open
Because it is about to happen
But the truth is visible
To those who watch.
A terrible lie
And a great diversion
Anything to win
And anything to steal.
A change is coming
And there is fear all around
Because the line has been crossed
And the sleeping will awake.
Great things will happen
But they are not what they seem
And the wise should never forget
What they know in their heart.
Because good and evil
Have not changed
The same now
Just as they ever were.
There is the way
That we are taught
And then there is the truth
As different as what people may say
Versus what we know.
Man lives in the make believe
And small men skew the truth
Making their art of contempt
But experience is the difference
In the heart and in the mind.
You can argue
And you can fake
But it is the heart that matters more
The truth, the light, and the glory.
Prophecy 11/8/11
It’s not enough
And it’s not okay
To act like everything is fine
When it is not
And it never was.
I am here to speak
And I am here to write
To show
The truth behind the lies
And the lie between the eyes.
It is over and it is finished
And nothing can save it now
The decision made
Irrevocable and absolute.
You can only guess
And you can only wonder
How I could really know
But it is simple as God
Because if one doesn’t do it
Then another one will.
If that is what will happen
Then what can man do
And if there is nothing to fear
Then punishment has no teeth.
You cannot stop truth
And you cannot destroy
What God has made
For who is in me is stronger
And he will wipe the liar away.
Let him run
And let him hide
Under the table
In the dead of night.
Let him message
And let him call
Let him lie
And let him steal
Because he to will suffer
And he will to will die.
Death is coming for all
And with it
Comes the end
Falling forever
In silence.
You have made your bed
And you have pledged your life
All upon a lie
And all upon a fraud.
You have denied the good
And shamed the honest
Now you also
Shall see his end.
The platform is burning
And soon it shall crumble
Falling downwards
All upon itself.
The words have been written
And prophecy spoken
Soon it will come to pass
Just as sure as God predicted
And just as I shall witness.
The cruelty is all coming home
And every word is remembered
The juvenile love
And the self serving fool.
He shall stumble
And he shall fall
Into the trap
That he himself set.
He shall die
Unhonored and unsung
Detested as a worm
And forgotten by all.
The shame shall fall back
And his name erased
Like he never lived
And never knew.
The days of lies are over
Because now they are exposed
The proof I always knew
Laid out for all to see.
The name of horror
And it is but cheap malice
Shall burn until its gone
Replaced by the righteous
And gone forever.
I am a secret
Looking across the difference
Between the known
And the invisible.
A man of sad eyes
And a lonely heart
But still standing
With head held high
And trying to smile.
Time drips in a glass
Faster and faster
Into the present
And away from the past.
Adding up
One on top of the other
To the problems
That we have ignored.
The thoughts have changed
And my heart has hardened
Crystallizing memory
Within the wisdom of living.
Growing up and falling down
Just to meet in the middle
As dangerous as they are tempting
The feelings of alienation.
I am separated from the world
And apart from love
Unable to feel the same pleasures
Without regret or pain.
Across a frozen sea
Is everything I remember
All of the people
And all of the love.
But you can’t give up one thing
Without losing something else
And I feel so very alone
And cold.
The tastes are bland
And the colors washed out
Fading into the icy white
Far from the passionate reds
And vivid oranges
All bleached away, and dead.
On the other side
Are my passions
The feelings that I loved
And made me alive.
She told me
That I lived in my emotions
And let them rule my days
But we all have emotions
And sometimes they are folly
Destroying us all.
It isn’t what flashes in our minds
It is what we do that counts
Either we replay the feelings over and over
Until we act
Or we smash them into pieces.
My passions are still present
But I have locked them away
Underneath the ice
Where the water is fresh
And the fish are slow.
If I acted on my feelings
Where would I be
And what horror would I do
Perhaps blood on my face
And blood on my hands.
If I acted out the passions
What wild place would call me
Free from all expectations
And all obligations.
Free to escape
And free to run
Letting all the damage spread out
Behind me.
But that is for the cowards
Who run from the test
Who cannot stand the long run
Giving up for someone else.
What would my children remember
If I had left them alone
Holding the empty bags of lies
And stupid juvenile words.
No that is for the shallow
And that is for the weak
Grabbing on
To whatever is convenient
And running away.
But it takes two
To make decisions
And only one to throw it away
But not that I haven’t learned
And not that I didn’t know.
When we were young
None of us knew
But it was only after I learned
That the suffering came
And I fell from grace.
But even though she may not know
I have stood it well
Learning and growing
From the inside out.
I shall cross the ice
But even if I sink
There are worse things than dying
That is the thing
That only a few will know
And even fewer ever tell.
The crossing is risky
And the crossing is cold
But so is giving up
And so is giving in.
But better it is to try
That it is to wonder
Staring across time
Dead and cold
It could be here
Or the dark side of the moon
A place where the hidden souls flee
And only the brave ever know.
Behind the Curtain 11/10/2011
Look behind the curtain
And you will see
All the strings and levers
Discovering the truth
Behind what they show.
The false idols
And the little gods of fools
The worship of the masses
To the vanity of men.
The arrogance of the powerful
And all their secret hatred
Carefully hidden
But true.
A false flag is rising
And it is a bloody banner
A great and shining lie
To take in the weak
And the fully dependent.
Beware of deception
Because it grows every day
Invading ever crack
And covering every angle.
Guns, bombs and missiles
Are packed up and shipped
But not by who you think
And not for what you know.
To kill the good
And savage the innocent
The apocalyptic results
Of jealous vanity.
Keep your eyes open
Because it is about to happen
But the truth is visible
To those who watch.
A terrible lie
And a great diversion
Anything to win
And anything to steal.
A change is coming
And there is fear all around
Because the line has been crossed
And the sleeping will awake.
Great things will happen
But they are not what they seem
And the wise should never forget
What they know in their heart.
Because good and evil
Have not changed
The same now
Just as they ever were.
There is the way
That we are taught
And then there is the truth
As different as what people may say
Versus what we know.
Man lives in the make believe
And small men skew the truth
Making their art of contempt
But experience is the difference
In the heart and in the mind.
You can argue
And you can fake
But it is the heart that matters more
The truth, the light, and the glory.
Prophecy 11/8/11
It’s not enough
And it’s not okay
To act like everything is fine
When it is not
And it never was.
I am here to speak
And I am here to write
To show
The truth behind the lies
And the lie between the eyes.
It is over and it is finished
And nothing can save it now
The decision made
Irrevocable and absolute.
You can only guess
And you can only wonder
How I could really know
But it is simple as God
Because if one doesn’t do it
Then another one will.
If that is what will happen
Then what can man do
And if there is nothing to fear
Then punishment has no teeth.
You cannot stop truth
And you cannot destroy
What God has made
For who is in me is stronger
And he will wipe the liar away.
Let him run
And let him hide
Under the table
In the dead of night.
Let him message
And let him call
Let him lie
And let him steal
Because he to will suffer
And he will to will die.
Death is coming for all
And with it
Comes the end
Falling forever
In silence.
You have made your bed
And you have pledged your life
All upon a lie
And all upon a fraud.
You have denied the good
And shamed the honest
Now you also
Shall see his end.
The platform is burning
And soon it shall crumble
Falling downwards
All upon itself.
The words have been written
And prophecy spoken
Soon it will come to pass
Just as sure as God predicted
And just as I shall witness.
The cruelty is all coming home
And every word is remembered
The juvenile love
And the self serving fool.
He shall stumble
And he shall fall
Into the trap
That he himself set.
He shall die
Unhonored and unsung
Detested as a worm
And forgotten by all.
The shame shall fall back
And his name erased
Like he never lived
And never knew.
The days of lies are over
Because now they are exposed
The proof I always knew
Laid out for all to see.
The name of horror
And it is but cheap malice
Shall burn until its gone
Replaced by the righteous
And gone forever.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Kammler, The Sacrifice, and Velvet Eyes
Kammler 11/8/11
The best kept secrets
Are hidden in plain view
Secreted away underground
In a hall full of horrors.
A deeper black than black
And a future found in the past
Where anything is possible
Limitless and ghastly.
You can trade power for safety
And only the powerful will know
Because a man with power
Can keep a secret
And a man with knowledge
Can keep it all.
Bury yourself in the forest
Or change or your face and name
But where you are does not matter
If you can’t make a deal
Out of money or fear.
Someone has taken the gold
And someone has perfected time
Changing the past
And changing the future.
Mercury is fleet of foot
And travels from place to place
Making friends of enemies
And enemies of all.
Rocketing into space
On the wings of the past
And holding on to the secrets
In a land of eternal death.
In a icy fortress of silence
The world has heard the truth
Crawling like a spider
Over every single land.
Shaking hands with the darkness
Man has made his mark on earth
Soaring into the heavens
Just like God knew he would.
The truth is bigger than us
And the secrets better than fiction
A journey into madness
At the end of the earth.
A worm hole travels from one place
And ends up in another
But only God knows it all
And only he can save us now.
They have called up Lucifer
And they have blackmailed the truth
Defying conventional wisdom
To reach the very stars.
But even in the end
Good shall prevail
Though the earth sink
And the demons wail.
The inner eye can see
Where no one is allowed
And the deepest darkest memory
Lives in ourselves.
I have no power
And my knowledge is a guess
But there is more than what we see
And more than what we hear.
I am not afraid
And I am not silent
Just a man with an eye
And a man with a mind.
I have grown my heart
And I have said my prayers
Because good is stronger than evil
And God will prevail.
The Sacrifice 11/8/11
Every day feels the same
Until it changes
And the world turns upside down
In the blink of an eye
Everything is different
Either for good or bad.
We have drifted for so long
And distract ourselves with pleasure
Just to pretend
And just to forget.
We all want to escape
But we all have different methods
With different weaknesses
And different strengths.
Some men grow up
But never get wise
Still markedly juvenile
Wanting everything
No matter who is hurts.
I also have lived there
And I also wanted to forget
Crawling into a deep dark hole
To sleep.
I wanted to wake up
With everything the same
And everyone close
Those I no longer knew
But have never forgotten.
I wanted them to sneak in
And wake me up
Telling me that everything was ok
And that they loved me.
But instead I woke up
To a nightmare
Tormenting me day after day
Always forgotten
And all alone.
A fate worse than hatred
It is to be forgotten
Left holding the bag
Without any thought at all.
A perfect sacrifice is the good man
As he suffers unjustly
Walking to the gallows
For a crime he didn’t commit.
He takes on the suffering
Undeserved and horrible
Taking the blows manfully
And rising again and again.
He goes out with his head held high
Knowing he is good
Stronger than death
And stronger than lies.
Knowing the truth
He does what is right
Even if it hurts
And even if he suffers.
But a selfish man plots his course
And cares not for others
But only his self interest
And his pride.
They destroy the innocent
And leave them with nothing
And there is nothing more vile
Than a man who stabs you in the back
Too cowardly to look you in the eye.
They do their worst
And sneak away
Always thinking underneath the table
To lie, steal, and murder.
But they love to win
More than anything else
Hoping to provoke the good
So they can blame someone else.
I was provoked
And how I wanted to act
But it was something I couldn’t do
Because that is what they wanted.
I don’t have to be right
Because I know that it will end
If not one way
Then it will be another
One day for sure
All undone and dead.
And I don’t care if it hurts
Because I know how it feels
To be stabbed through the heart
But live anyway.
The perfect sacrifice in our heart
Will give us comfort in the night
Inspiring us to greater heights
Than any they will know.
He who charges me
Is not afraid of death
And he who raises me
Shall blow their dust away.
Velvet Eyes 11/8/11
Push back the velvet curtain
And stare into the midnight sky
Deeper into the past
To view who we are.
I dreamed of a white crystals
And diamonds
Falling through the sky
Like sleepy snowflakes
Covering the trees.
Dripping on black velvet
As they fall weightless into my hands
A pure and perfect memory
Dancing around her face.
I am smiling as I take her hand
And we drift effortlessly across the room
Into a deep plush booth
Glowing with silver.
Her dark eyes reflect the flames
And burn into mine
Mesmerizing me into a place
That I never want to leave.
She is as perfect as I remember
And her long white arms
Reach out to touch my face
Tender and loving.
I can almost feel her touch
And I tell her I love her
Forever and ever
And then she smiles, whispers
Closes her eyes and disappears.
I can never hear her reply
And that is the haunting part
A dream full of memory
And a memory full of regret.
Damn the dreams of wasted youth
And forget the pain
Stabbing at my chest
As I bury the pictures
In a box.
Love is not simple
And love is not for dreams
But for the happy
And the living
In a field of perpetual bloom.
I love you
And I always will
Your grace greater than the world
And your secrets
Divine.
The best kept secrets
Are hidden in plain view
Secreted away underground
In a hall full of horrors.
A deeper black than black
And a future found in the past
Where anything is possible
Limitless and ghastly.
You can trade power for safety
And only the powerful will know
Because a man with power
Can keep a secret
And a man with knowledge
Can keep it all.
Bury yourself in the forest
Or change or your face and name
But where you are does not matter
If you can’t make a deal
Out of money or fear.
Someone has taken the gold
And someone has perfected time
Changing the past
And changing the future.
Mercury is fleet of foot
And travels from place to place
Making friends of enemies
And enemies of all.
Rocketing into space
On the wings of the past
And holding on to the secrets
In a land of eternal death.
In a icy fortress of silence
The world has heard the truth
Crawling like a spider
Over every single land.
Shaking hands with the darkness
Man has made his mark on earth
Soaring into the heavens
Just like God knew he would.
The truth is bigger than us
And the secrets better than fiction
A journey into madness
At the end of the earth.
A worm hole travels from one place
And ends up in another
But only God knows it all
And only he can save us now.
They have called up Lucifer
And they have blackmailed the truth
Defying conventional wisdom
To reach the very stars.
But even in the end
Good shall prevail
Though the earth sink
And the demons wail.
The inner eye can see
Where no one is allowed
And the deepest darkest memory
Lives in ourselves.
I have no power
And my knowledge is a guess
But there is more than what we see
And more than what we hear.
I am not afraid
And I am not silent
Just a man with an eye
And a man with a mind.
I have grown my heart
And I have said my prayers
Because good is stronger than evil
And God will prevail.
The Sacrifice 11/8/11
Every day feels the same
Until it changes
And the world turns upside down
In the blink of an eye
Everything is different
Either for good or bad.
We have drifted for so long
And distract ourselves with pleasure
Just to pretend
And just to forget.
We all want to escape
But we all have different methods
With different weaknesses
And different strengths.
Some men grow up
But never get wise
Still markedly juvenile
Wanting everything
No matter who is hurts.
I also have lived there
And I also wanted to forget
Crawling into a deep dark hole
To sleep.
I wanted to wake up
With everything the same
And everyone close
Those I no longer knew
But have never forgotten.
I wanted them to sneak in
And wake me up
Telling me that everything was ok
And that they loved me.
But instead I woke up
To a nightmare
Tormenting me day after day
Always forgotten
And all alone.
A fate worse than hatred
It is to be forgotten
Left holding the bag
Without any thought at all.
A perfect sacrifice is the good man
As he suffers unjustly
Walking to the gallows
For a crime he didn’t commit.
He takes on the suffering
Undeserved and horrible
Taking the blows manfully
And rising again and again.
He goes out with his head held high
Knowing he is good
Stronger than death
And stronger than lies.
Knowing the truth
He does what is right
Even if it hurts
And even if he suffers.
But a selfish man plots his course
And cares not for others
But only his self interest
And his pride.
They destroy the innocent
And leave them with nothing
And there is nothing more vile
Than a man who stabs you in the back
Too cowardly to look you in the eye.
They do their worst
And sneak away
Always thinking underneath the table
To lie, steal, and murder.
But they love to win
More than anything else
Hoping to provoke the good
So they can blame someone else.
I was provoked
And how I wanted to act
But it was something I couldn’t do
Because that is what they wanted.
I don’t have to be right
Because I know that it will end
If not one way
Then it will be another
One day for sure
All undone and dead.
And I don’t care if it hurts
Because I know how it feels
To be stabbed through the heart
But live anyway.
The perfect sacrifice in our heart
Will give us comfort in the night
Inspiring us to greater heights
Than any they will know.
He who charges me
Is not afraid of death
And he who raises me
Shall blow their dust away.
Velvet Eyes 11/8/11
Push back the velvet curtain
And stare into the midnight sky
Deeper into the past
To view who we are.
I dreamed of a white crystals
And diamonds
Falling through the sky
Like sleepy snowflakes
Covering the trees.
Dripping on black velvet
As they fall weightless into my hands
A pure and perfect memory
Dancing around her face.
I am smiling as I take her hand
And we drift effortlessly across the room
Into a deep plush booth
Glowing with silver.
Her dark eyes reflect the flames
And burn into mine
Mesmerizing me into a place
That I never want to leave.
She is as perfect as I remember
And her long white arms
Reach out to touch my face
Tender and loving.
I can almost feel her touch
And I tell her I love her
Forever and ever
And then she smiles, whispers
Closes her eyes and disappears.
I can never hear her reply
And that is the haunting part
A dream full of memory
And a memory full of regret.
Damn the dreams of wasted youth
And forget the pain
Stabbing at my chest
As I bury the pictures
In a box.
Love is not simple
And love is not for dreams
But for the happy
And the living
In a field of perpetual bloom.
I love you
And I always will
Your grace greater than the world
And your secrets
Divine.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Chapter 17 and Chapter 11/7/11
Chapter 17 11/7/11
Something has ended
And a chapter has closed
The book slammed shut
With the mystery unsolved
And the plot unfinished.
A murder has occurred
And all the money is missing
The grief stricken left penniless
While the guilty mock their pain.
The murderer sends messages
Taunting the police
And mocking the survivors
Calling in the night
Untraceable and clever.
He thinks he is immune
And he thinks he will escape
Because he has learned
From experience
And knows all the angles.
He leaves little evidence
Because he has a lot to hide
But it’s not enough to escape
He must take the credit
So they will know his name.
He likes to lie
And he likes to gamble
Because he has no conscience
And he has no soul.
He likes to swindle
And he likes to trick
Ever searching for secrets
To exploit.
He pretends to be good
And thrives on sympathy
Anything to escape punishment
To live and steal again.
Shameless and shallow
He gives just to get
Anything for money
And anything for looks.
She said she knew
That it would end badly
And that much is true
But it’s not over yet
Because nothing ever is.
Someone knows his secrets
And someday it will come undone
Because the truth will come out
And the ending has just begun.
If one person doesn’t do it
Then someone else will
A guaranteed solution
Unexpected but sure.
You don’t need to read it
To guess how it ends
Because deception falls apart
Just as sure as gravity
It's weight falls on the guilty
Someday and somewhere.
The book is finished
Whether we read it or not
And the author knows the end
Before we ever even guessed.
You can count on the end
Because it was planned from the start
A miraculous and poetic ending
Where everything makes sense.
The good rewarded
And the innocent vindicated
As the guilty lie in the street
Dead and gone.
11/7/11
If you try
And if you believe
You may know before you’re done
Because seeing is believing
What words can never show.
Everything has a reason
Even the horror
And even the death
But only through the lens of time
Will we ever understand.
The numbers and the days
Have a meaning
Predicting the future
And confirming the past.
We know not
All that we do
And many are those
Who have touched eternity
Only to walk away.
In the lost moments
And with family and friends
We have rejected the hands of greatness
Unseen and unknown.
What is, also was
And what was, will be again
Our names also numbers
And our numbers
Also codes.
Our cells contain instructions
And our spirits cannot be held
Held inside our bodies
By a silver chord of dreams.
We see and we know
But only in bits and pieces
The rest hidden
Where only the spirit
Can go.
Men have seen visions
And men have dreamed dreams
But all have seen the good
And faced an iron angel.
We mark our days
And wager on the numbers
But everything we ever needed
We already have.
We try and we try
But even the good also suffer
Giving up and giving in
The greatest of sacrifices
That no one ever knows.
I am blood
And I am bones
But there is more to me
Than what they have seen.
I too shall live
And I shall see the day
When everything adds up
And all shall return.
My name, my life, and my number
Are all said and done
But it is all I can do
Just to live, and believe.
In the end
It will all add up
At last, truly known
And truly loved.
Something has ended
And a chapter has closed
The book slammed shut
With the mystery unsolved
And the plot unfinished.
A murder has occurred
And all the money is missing
The grief stricken left penniless
While the guilty mock their pain.
The murderer sends messages
Taunting the police
And mocking the survivors
Calling in the night
Untraceable and clever.
He thinks he is immune
And he thinks he will escape
Because he has learned
From experience
And knows all the angles.
He leaves little evidence
Because he has a lot to hide
But it’s not enough to escape
He must take the credit
So they will know his name.
He likes to lie
And he likes to gamble
Because he has no conscience
And he has no soul.
He likes to swindle
And he likes to trick
Ever searching for secrets
To exploit.
He pretends to be good
And thrives on sympathy
Anything to escape punishment
To live and steal again.
Shameless and shallow
He gives just to get
Anything for money
And anything for looks.
She said she knew
That it would end badly
And that much is true
But it’s not over yet
Because nothing ever is.
Someone knows his secrets
And someday it will come undone
Because the truth will come out
And the ending has just begun.
If one person doesn’t do it
Then someone else will
A guaranteed solution
Unexpected but sure.
You don’t need to read it
To guess how it ends
Because deception falls apart
Just as sure as gravity
It's weight falls on the guilty
Someday and somewhere.
The book is finished
Whether we read it or not
And the author knows the end
Before we ever even guessed.
You can count on the end
Because it was planned from the start
A miraculous and poetic ending
Where everything makes sense.
The good rewarded
And the innocent vindicated
As the guilty lie in the street
Dead and gone.
11/7/11
If you try
And if you believe
You may know before you’re done
Because seeing is believing
What words can never show.
Everything has a reason
Even the horror
And even the death
But only through the lens of time
Will we ever understand.
The numbers and the days
Have a meaning
Predicting the future
And confirming the past.
We know not
All that we do
And many are those
Who have touched eternity
Only to walk away.
In the lost moments
And with family and friends
We have rejected the hands of greatness
Unseen and unknown.
What is, also was
And what was, will be again
Our names also numbers
And our numbers
Also codes.
Our cells contain instructions
And our spirits cannot be held
Held inside our bodies
By a silver chord of dreams.
We see and we know
But only in bits and pieces
The rest hidden
Where only the spirit
Can go.
Men have seen visions
And men have dreamed dreams
But all have seen the good
And faced an iron angel.
We mark our days
And wager on the numbers
But everything we ever needed
We already have.
We try and we try
But even the good also suffer
Giving up and giving in
The greatest of sacrifices
That no one ever knows.
I am blood
And I am bones
But there is more to me
Than what they have seen.
I too shall live
And I shall see the day
When everything adds up
And all shall return.
My name, my life, and my number
Are all said and done
But it is all I can do
Just to live, and believe.
In the end
It will all add up
At last, truly known
And truly loved.
Friday, November 4, 2011
The Wait
The Wait 11/4/2011
The heart is more than a muscle
That pumps blood through our body
And the mind contains more than matter
At least the kind you can see.
We busy ourselves with meaningless competition
And emulate the worst of men
Idolizing ourselves
And escaping into mindless diversions.
Barricaded in our houses
And glued to electronic entertainment
We forget and we laugh
As Rome burns all around.
We will see the end come
And watch it live
But it won’t really sink in
Until our windows break
And our doors kicked in.
It is so easy to drift
And let your life slip away
Just going through the motions
Predictable and dead.
Under cover of darkness
Many are confused
And by a Trojan Horse of truth
Many will believe the lies.
It is easy to believe
What others have said
But it is hard to listen
To the quiet voice of the soul.
God gave us more than breath
And what we have is immortal
But even immortality
Can’t save us
From willful ignorance.
Looking back
You can clearly see
And hear the echoes
Warning us.
But going forward
We don’t hear a thing
And march headlong
Into disaster.
Evil doesn’t always look evil
And safety isn’t always safe
As we try to avoid pain
And sidestep into disaster.
By the time we know
It is almost always too late
And now that I have understood
I can barely save myself.
I think about it
But can’t see the point
About why I could know
But yet still be wasted.
What would it mean
For me to learn
Just to ruminate on the reasons
And live in the ruins.
There must be a reason
That is larger than the self
Because there must be more
Than what I see
And what I have.
But if there is a message
Then where is the patience
As time drags on forever
Without action
And without change.
A cruel status quo
Has hardened like concrete
And while the good wait
So much has been lost.
Sometimes truth is difficult
Especially the kind we avoid
The real truth we always knew
But we are force fed as myth.
The liars parade triumphantly
And how they love to be worshipped
Getting everything they want
Whenever they want it.
And I just wait
Like so many others
Waiting for something
Something authentically promised
And something truly great.
The heart is more than a muscle
That pumps blood through our body
And the mind contains more than matter
At least the kind you can see.
We busy ourselves with meaningless competition
And emulate the worst of men
Idolizing ourselves
And escaping into mindless diversions.
Barricaded in our houses
And glued to electronic entertainment
We forget and we laugh
As Rome burns all around.
We will see the end come
And watch it live
But it won’t really sink in
Until our windows break
And our doors kicked in.
It is so easy to drift
And let your life slip away
Just going through the motions
Predictable and dead.
Under cover of darkness
Many are confused
And by a Trojan Horse of truth
Many will believe the lies.
It is easy to believe
What others have said
But it is hard to listen
To the quiet voice of the soul.
God gave us more than breath
And what we have is immortal
But even immortality
Can’t save us
From willful ignorance.
Looking back
You can clearly see
And hear the echoes
Warning us.
But going forward
We don’t hear a thing
And march headlong
Into disaster.
Evil doesn’t always look evil
And safety isn’t always safe
As we try to avoid pain
And sidestep into disaster.
By the time we know
It is almost always too late
And now that I have understood
I can barely save myself.
I think about it
But can’t see the point
About why I could know
But yet still be wasted.
What would it mean
For me to learn
Just to ruminate on the reasons
And live in the ruins.
There must be a reason
That is larger than the self
Because there must be more
Than what I see
And what I have.
But if there is a message
Then where is the patience
As time drags on forever
Without action
And without change.
A cruel status quo
Has hardened like concrete
And while the good wait
So much has been lost.
Sometimes truth is difficult
Especially the kind we avoid
The real truth we always knew
But we are force fed as myth.
The liars parade triumphantly
And how they love to be worshipped
Getting everything they want
Whenever they want it.
And I just wait
Like so many others
Waiting for something
Something authentically promised
And something truly great.
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