The Searchlight

The Searchlight 12/27/2011

Time can twist you into knots
Over and under
And backwards again
Bringing us back together
Even when we thought
That all was lost.

But this time
It is different
And I can finally breathe
Unafraid to be myself
And without expectation.

Seldom do we give
Without wanting something back
Always looking for a reward
Or praise.

These feelings die hard
But they are no more than that
Just the death pangs of the self
That keeps wanting more.

Killing it off wasn’t easy
And still I feel it rising up
Always looking to recreate
Whatever good I had.

I wanted to receive
So I gave with secret conditions
Always looking for a response
Just to make myself
Feel loved.

But blessings are just that
Blessings that fall from heaven
Just when you need them the most
Unexpected and miraculous.

They come like a message
Unexplained but true
Piercing the fog
To stare us in the face.

A unexpected bolt of lightening
Illuminating the truth
Unmistakable
And undeniable.

What are we to do
With such knowledge?
That is the question
Because to hide it
Is to deny it.

The day I stopped wanting
Was the day I finally lived
At peace and at rest
With everything I need.

The harvest is here
And it comes for everyone
To each as he has sown
In our ignorance
And in our knowledge.

The shocking realization
That no one can hide
The unexpected horror
On the holiest of days.

Another picture takes its place
And another life, frozen in time
Portraits in a gruesome gallery
Because they tried to run away.

The truth is there
For those with eyes
Even though they try to hide it
And explain it all away.

Across the world
There is fear and terror
Just like they always wanted
And while we burn
The emperor plays.

Face the truth
And face the good
Giving without expectation
And speaking without fear.

Nothing is forever
Not here and not now
Dissolving away to the simplest parts
Into mud, dust and dirt.

On the other side
Rests the spirit
Unseen and unacknowledged
But nonetheless real.

And there is nothing as beautiful
And nothing as wonderful
Than to know
And understand.

If one thing leads to another
Then let it lead to this
That no matter what shall happen
We will always come home.