Remember

Remember 4/13/2012

Today is another day
Another day of living
And another day of wondering
About what I am supposed to do
On another day existing
And another day, without you.

As time goes by
It hurts a little less
As the distance grows
Between then and now.

A callous has grown over my heart
And the stabbing pains
Have become more like a sting
Come and gone.

They no longer double me over
And I seldom lay awake at night
Even though I am hollow
And even though I doubt.

At the time
The loss was overwhelming
And I thought that I would die
As if everything I ever dreamed
Or loved
Caved in on itself.

For some reason I lived
And by some miracle I am here
Still alive and treading water
But never again the same.

I am a lot more careful
And I am a lot more guarded
Because now I see
And now I know.

It never occurred to me
Just how fragile life was
And I didn’t really understand
How precious a treasure
Love could be.

I don’t go to the same places
Because every time I did
It all came flooding back
Just like it was yesterday.

I look at myself
And I see your memory
Because you made me better
Than I was
Or ever will be again.

I still dream of you
But they are more hopeful now
And no longer are you torn from me
Leaving me reaching out
With empty arms.

Now they are softer
And I never want them to end
Because in my dreams I keep you
And we plan for the future
The one we talked about
But never had.

I mouth the words in silence
And send them upwards in prayer
That in heaven
We will be together
As if we never wept
And never lost.

Some say it does no good
But then they never knew you
And they don't know me
But you and I know different
And have seen eternal truth.

The doubts are gone
And now I see you clearly
As my heart wells up
And lifts me from the ground.

I sink into your eyes
And no where I belong
In sweet eternity
More real than this
And far more profound.