Aftershock

Aftershock      4/24/2012

For now

The drama is over

But for me

I can’t see the difference.

A strange numbness

Envelopes my brain

Leaving me emotionless

And drained.

Life and love

Are full of highs

And lows

Because we always forget

The in between

Lost to time.

But this is where

We succeed or fail

And this is where

We lose our way.

I have loved before

And it was such a good feeling

As euphoric as I could be

And impervious to pain.

 Nothing could touch me

And nothing could hurt me

With a wit as sharp as a razor

And a heart made of stone.

Time stood still

As I basked in the glory

With everything I ever wanted

Ready and willing.

Dead center

In the best place

I could ever dream of
Or hope for.

But that was before

And this is after
And now I look backwards
And shake my head.

That I could be so foolish

To think, I could have it all

Because there I was at the summit

Like a giant before the fall.

I never stopped to think

Before I came to a ledge
Diving headlong into my emotions

Irresistibly calling me out

And begging me home.

I stared into her eyes

Of glowing amber

Half closed like a cat

But never ever seeing

What I had

Or what I missed.

Some people will tell you

What it is, that they want

But others just hold it in

And hate you in the dark.

She slowly disappeared

And I never noticed
Slipping through my fingers

In incremental amounts.

She was gone

Before I noticed
And by then it was too late

As I  franticly waved my arms

At a formless body of smoke.

You can’t go back

But it’s hard to move forward

When you remember every word

And they never fade away.

In the end

The ghost is me

An invisible man

In a world of the dead.

Unable to let go

And unable to leave

Still lingering in shadows

An reliving my death.