Gravestones

From 2006

Gravestones

No escape from death
And no refuge from dying
Silent and heavy
The secret number of days
Worn thin by age and trying
Invisible the signs of death and decay.

I can’t stop the clock
And we can’t turn back the days
Back to the beginning
To change my foolish ways.

I was home and I saw your grave
A precious gift I could never save
I talked for what seemed forever
I made the promise I should have said
How long ago I don’t even remember
These broken pieces of words I read.

I remember riding in your car
Three sisters and you the youngest
Too perfect the look on your face
Frozen in time I can see you now
I still don’t know why you loved me
Misunderstood without knowing how.

I would tell you my mother is dying
How I sat on the side of her bed
That I read to her every night
About a life without pain or fear
And promised I’d see her again with tears.

How I suffered through my divorce
And how I paid the price
The struggle to stay close to my son
The lessons it taught me
And the 1,000 miles of heartache it brought me.

I’d tell you I laid the past to rest
I’d hold you better than before
Not wasting a single moment of day
For a better purpose
And a greater love I pray.

We pretend that nothing matters
We act like we can face the end
Without knowing how it can hurt
And without the excuses we send.

I whispered to my mother that it would be better
I tried to tell her I just knew the truth
I told her I would see her again in a perfect place
Far from this earthly pain we face.

I know I must go
Time won’t wait for me
But it’s hard to go on
When the past walks behind me.

Bury my heart
And blot out the sun
Burning my eyes
Empty and dumb.

A time to love
Leaving behind unimportant things
Rumors of life
Or maybe something like it
Uneven and patched together
It all comes unraveled at the end
Wounded and waiting
This weary soul to spend.