She Thought

She Thought 5/14/2013

She was waiting
For me to get her drink
And she was thinking
About how she felt.

Always changing
And always guilty
Never loving herself
Enough to grow.

But she should not have bothered
To ask me why
Unless she was ready
To know.

She should have saved herself
And just walked away instead
Leaving me to sleep
And drink till I’m dead.

There is no time to waste
And precious little money
All of it just as worthless
As they wanted it to be.

The streets are empty
And the houses barricaded
As we huddle
And wait for the end.

And I am waited down
With the past
Burdened from birth
And weighted to fail.

But the end of one thing
Is the beginning of another
And I am ready for a new start
The kind I never had.

She is still thinking
But even for her
The time is now
If she can walk the road
And give.

In this world
Nobody gets it all
And what you give up
Is always less
Than what you think.

This that I lose
Is not much at all
But I would never have known
If I had the choice.