Sacrificed

Out of the office for a few days, this one is an old one I have never blogged before, Hopefully I will have more time tomorrow

Sacrificed 5/7/2013

Of all the things
You will ever feel
To be thrown away like trash
Is the worst.

As you are left forgotten
To twist in the wind
Remembering all the good
And weeping in your hands.

It happened to me
In the middle of my life
And I slept on the couch
Because I could not sleep
In the bed
That place or horror and loss
Empty and dead.

You see I had a treasure
More valuable than gold
But then I watched it disappear
Right before my eyes.

Slowly fading in and out
Until nothing was left
Leaving me with nothing
And all alone in the dark.

I am alive
And I see my kids
But what can I say?
And what can I do?

Can I ever truly tell them
All that I have known?
And would they even believe
All that I have seen?

How can anyone
Reconcile that truth
The senseless abandonment
And unimaginable indifference.

Would they ever be able
To look them in the eye?
After all they did
And all they stole.

More than betrayal
And worse than deception
My spirit murdered
And stabbed in the back.

But if they never knew
Would it be any better?
To look at me and wonder
What on earth was wrong.

I hung my head in shame
Because I did not know what to say
And I swallowed back all the acid
Eating me from the inside out.

Nothing will ever be the same
As I worry what I will do
Because the earth
Beneath my feet is shaken
I have fallen through the cracks.

I opened my mouth to cry
But nothing came out
As I gasped for breath in horror
That all I loved was gone.

I watched it all
Walk out the door
Never to come back
A staggering loss of everything
That I had ever wanted.

No cruelty was spared
And there is only one reason
That it was plotted and planned
Leading like an animal to the slaughter
Spoiled, fattened, and dead.

I looked at her
And she looked at me
My eyes searching for recognition
But there was none to be found.

I have become the memory
Awkward and sad
Shoved into a box
In an abandoned house.

My dreams and promises
Meant nothing
Gone like a perfect summer day
Twenty years ago.

For some there is healing
And for some there is forgiveness
But my forgiveness is not enough
When there is rational reason
To understand or grasp.

Nothing is not enough
And the silence is worse than deatg
But what I need is something more
Something only God can know.

Where were they
When I was alone?
And where were they
When everything was lost?

Let the liars reap
All that they have sown
And let the evil men eat
All the blood they have spilled.

I pray she awakes
And washes the dirt
From her eyes
Finally learning
All that she has given
And all that she has lost.

And then I can know
And see it all anew
Healed on the other side
Complete, vindicated,
And true.