The Wait 10/29/2015
It is not something
I would have asked
And it is not something
I could have known.
Life is given
Unbidden
And consciousness
Is a gift
Undeserved
And misunderstood.
But yet all of this has happened
Both the dizzying heights
And the devastating lows
Dragging me and pushing me
To destinations unknown.
Sometimes the good change
And sometimes the good fall
Compromised, bullied
Coerced, or betrayed.
And senseless are the questions
That run through my mind
As I wonder about things
I cannot change
Over and over again.
Many go along
Unaware of the damage
Starting fires
Wherever they go
Unthinking and unconcerned.
But, I am just a stranger
Living in a strange world
Learning how to swallow
All that I left behind.
No matter what I do
Or how far I have come
I still remain, one word away
From grief
And shame.
Like a skeleton
Buried in a wall
Always there
And trying to get out.
I crossed that river
A long time ago
And now, no matter
How hard I try
I will never make it back.
Incomplete and unresolved
I suffer the futility of pride
As I fling myself ever upward
Against the rocks.
Fling yourself also
But not out of dread
But only to know
And remember.
All of this is going away
But you and I
We have forever
More than enough
To wait for.
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