Irreconcilable

Irreconcilable   11/25/2013      

There are some things

That cannot be reconciled

And even with the passage of time

We are still speechless 

And horrified.

I remember the feeling

And I can still feel the twinge

As I remember the agony

Of losing 

All that I loved.

I don’t understand

And I don’t know, if I should

How such an evil worm

Could crawl in my life

And cut me in half. 

But that’s what happened

And I am neither the first

Nor the last

Cut off in the middle

Just before the harvest. 

Anger changes nothing

And tears fall useless in the rain

While we bury our heads

In our hands

And think that we will die.

God knows

But I sure don’t

About why I had to suffer

And why I had to lose.

It could always be worse

And I know, that I should be thankful

But words are cheap

When you suffer 

And are reminded in every way. 

No matter what I do

Or how much I try

That is, the piece of glass

Stuck in my throat.

Never able to swallow it down

Or cough it back up

Sharp, painful,

Piercing and cold.

No matter how much time 

Has passed

I still feel dirty and stained

Rejected, abandoned,

Disregarded and shamed

Judged and passed over

I am disheveled and cursed

As I walk uneasily, guarded,

Hesitant, and meek.

Brought low and exposed 

And deemed less than a worm

Released and forgotten

To die in the snow.

It happens to someone

Every single day

But we never bother to think

Because we have been spared

For another day and night.

There is nothing worse

Than dreams

You have never lived

And nothing more painful

Than cruel indifference. 

Now I see

And now I know

What it means

And how it feels. 

I could wait forever

But it would still be the same

Because this is how it is

And this is what it costs.

 

Synchronicity

Synchronicity 11/22/2013

Not everything makes sense

And the days often drag by

Uneventful and wasted

But with wisdom we learn

That everything has a reason.

I was born for this time

And it is more than an honor

Even if it is hard

And even if I suffer.

Some events are hard to miss

And they can galvanize a nation

But others are so small and incremental

That almost no one notices at all. 

Daily life goes on

As we get up for school or work

Punctuated by either happiness

Or horror. 

Nothing lasts forever

And how quickly we forget

As we lose our moorings

And drift out to sea.

We shy away from uncomfortable truths

And prefer instead

To fight the easy battles

That waste our time

And punish the good. 

Evil always survives

And patiently waits

Waiting for us to become overconfident

And distracted.

Letting us wander

Far from home

Until we think we are immune

And pretend

That all is well. 

Sometimes our true enemies

Are not who, we think they are

Close as a friend

Or confidant.

Watching every move

Opportunistic and cunning

Without a conscience

Or a soul.

Cut off and cut down

Split open and dissected

Just before

And just because.

We make fun of myths

But believe in a fable

Wise enough to know better

But too cowardly to act.

It’s not about being better

Or worse

But it is about finding the courage

To think and speak. 

Yes we are different

Aberrant and apart

But there are worse things

Than losing

And being alone.

Long after

Time has lost its meaning

We shall know and understand

What it all meant

And where it all leads.

Cry out the truth

Even if it hurts

For all of us will die

But only a few ever live

And learn.  

Second Sight

Second Sight 11/21/2013

There is an eye inside my head

Its function unknown

Sensitive to light

And shrouded in mystery.

For some it is a gland

But for others 

A seat for the soul

But like many other things

It remains dark, and misunderstood.

There are things

That we cannot see

Right in front of our eyes

But even if, we will not look

It does not mean

That it’s not there. 

We walk around half blinded

Dazzled by trivial pursuits

And gaudy distractions

But even in a fog

You can feel the siren

Going off, in your brain. 

The kind of feeling

When your hair stands on end

When you know
That you should turn around

Or look the other way. 

We have all felt it

And we know how
It prickles the skin

As our senses pick up something

That we do not understand.

The signal is picked up

By a type of vision

The kind we cannot explain

But are trained to ignore. 

Look inside

And see yourself

With a cold and frosty eye

As to where you have been

And where you are going.

What is it?

We really want

And what is it?

That we have done. 

Who is it?
That loves us

And who is it?
That hates us

Because the only thing we can control

Is what we leave behind.

Dovetail

Dovetail   11/20/2013

The rocks are moving

Under my feet

Even though I cannot feel it

And the dead are whispering in our ears

Even though we cannot hear

And cannot see.

Names, dates and numbers

Mark our times

Coming at us randomly

But always falling into a pattern

Only after, it’s too late.

Change ripples outwards

And reverberates over time

As we free fall

Deeper and deeper

From where we once were.

Public events and private betrayal

Worm their way through time

Low, evil, and merciless

Deadly, cold, and accurate. 

One thing leads to another

And all of it

Leads to death

As the cut outs are sacrificed

One, two, and three.

The herd grows thick

And expendable

Just like you can imagine

And just like they want.

Emotional, dumb and blind

Easily led and easily killed

Thriving on promises

And crumbs. 

But woe to the man

Who wants something more

A meaningful life

Full of opportunity

And possibility. 

For creativity cannot be controlled

And it comes in unpredictable ways

Blessing with the spirit

Who it will and when. 

But all of this still survives

Unseen and unrecognized 

In ways not yet discovered

And exploited.

Create anyway

Even though you have lost

And explore the heart boldy 

Even when you are crushed.

There will always be hope

And there will always be God

Though men may plot,

Murder and steal.  

Smarter

Smarter   11/19/2013

I sat in a meeting

Like a thousand times before

Where different people

Try and think up new ideas

Just like they did 

A thousand times before.

We look different 

But we all think the same

Falling down a path of least resistance

Safe and dead.

Everything that is done

Has been done before

But every time we do it

It gets more rediculous

Because we have all forgotten

And never learned a thing.  

Robotic, dumb, passionless, and dead

Because its all about, how it looks

And never about, what is right

Just another day in the life

Racing inside a wheel

That never moves at all. 

We pretend that its important

And we pretend that we care

Even everybody knows

That it makes no difference at all.  

We add layers on the top

But never question a thing

As we crush all those below

For no reason at all.  

Move the chairs and change the names

But in the end

It all rots the same

Useless, wasted, and dumb

As we smile and clap

And sink beneath the waves.

You can either make it worse

Or you can make it better

But even leaving it alone

Is better than

Wasting your effort

And wasting their life. 

There is nothing left to prove

Once you have seen

And once you know

But still we forge ahead 

None the wiser

Smart, dumb, and dead.