Midnight Summer 5/4/2016
It almost buried me
The heave stillness of time
Thick as wet velvet
On a hot summer day.
Deep in my mind
The past is ever present
A funnel through which I walk
And view the world.
Some are different
But many are the same
The walking wounded animals
That they call you
And me.
We have to think
And we have to grow
Never more than now
Today and tomorrow.
Evil never gives up
But only retreats for a time
Busy every second
And willing to kill.
My mind drifts
As I listen to the world
Contemplating the horror
Of indifferent
Abandonment.
There is nothing more lonely
Than to dangle in silence
Afraid to face it sober
And invisible like a ghost
She woke me up
And she made me believe
But then she stuck me
good
And calmly walked away.
Alone in the ruins
It all collapsed around me
The debris of life
Half lived
And lost.
I tried to build it back
But the pieces
Were too heavy to lift
Jagged, sharp
And shredding my skin.
The weight of time
Increases with loneliness
But with regret
It becomes unbearable
Suffocating hope
With every breath.
Only by God’s mercy
Could I, have ever survived
The hopeless fog
Of rejection and loss.
Leaving me a witness
Who remembers every blow
A reluctant messenger
Drowning in debt.
Denied every comfort
And humiliated at every turn
Unable to move
Without killing himself.
I had almost made it
And I had tried
With all my heart
But it was never enough
To stop the bleeding
Then or now.
I rise
And I walk
But it still remains
Hovering over my head.
The black cloud of despair
Marking me as lost
Half dead
And half alive.
Silence can be good
But silence can also kill
In the long hot nights of summer
Alone in your dreams.
It is there
That I find her
And relive it again and again
All that I had
And lost.
A haunting netherworld
Neither real or unreal
As I travel through
time
And space.
Hurling myself backwards
I try inside my mind
To untangle the past
From alienation
And estrangement.
An impossible task
That I must always lose
Until I wake up
And live.
Do your best
For you and yours
But remember the few
Who risk it all.
Pray today
Against the coming onslaught
Sure, swift, and cruel
Vicious, demonic, and dreadful.
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