Alone

Alone 1/13/2015 

Some days are blacker than others

But this one is bottomless gray

As a stare up at the nothingness

Heavy, cold, and wet. 

I crossed the road

And there is no going back

But as always I crane my neck

Just to see what I lost.

Perhaps I am too sentimental

And maybe I blame myself

Pouring over every mistake

Both the Large and small.   

I was born between two worlds

And I never really made a choice

Physically a prisoner of one

While my mind

Was always somewhere else. 

Racing far ahead

And skipping over the details

I always preferred the illusory  

And the ideal.

The world is boring and tedious

Its requirements burdensome and dumb

Holding us back from discovery

Every step of the way. 

But each day

Comes with consequences

And punishments

As we are all taught to comply

And conform. 

We work

And we get paid

All so that we can borrow

And become enslaved. 

Periodically given

A pat on the head

All so that we will feel important

And keep believing. 

Regimented and ranked

We find our proper place

All lined up in a pecking order

Until we move or die.  

You can’t be ahead

If you are behind

And you cannot move

Without commitment

And zeal. 

But what kind of man

Would lie and steal?

Doing anything to win

What he could never own at all. 

I don’t know any of them

And they don’t know me now

As I drift in a different circle

Apart and beyond.

This is theirs

And yes they can have it

Free to squeeze out every last drop

Until it’s gone

And they are done. 

I’ll have mine

They’ll get theirs

In this dead world

And all that is

To come.   

Decide for yourself
Who it is

That you serve

But always tread carefully

Looking forward

And behind.