Photocopy

Photocopy 1/9/2013

We are all waiting for something
And I have been waiting forever
Waiting for something to happen
And waiting for something to change.

Life knocks you around
But you can either stay down
Or get back up
Either crying out for help
Or doing it yourself.

I get up and I keep going
Steadily losing ground
Farther and farther behind
But never giving up.

Becoming like a photo copy
Of people trapped behind glass
Unable to escape
And captured forever.

Fuzzy and indistinct
Like muffled echoes
Across time
As we fall further and further
And disappear.

No one told me
To do what I have done
And no one forced me
To throw it all away.

Looking back
The memories merge
Into black and white images
Of who I was
And I what I did.

Making the same mistakes
Over and over again
Suffering but never growing
And drowning in regret.

Back when I didn’t know
I laughed and I blustered
Unaware of time
And deadly jealousy.

It makes me shudder to think
Of all the wasted time
Rearranging the pictures
In a house
Engulfed in flames.

And here I am
Sifting through the ashes
Gutted, blackened
Charred, and ruined.

Finding nothing but old pictures
And blurred photocopies
Capturing an instant
Lost in time.

What is worse
False hope
Or cynical indifference
Staring back at me
And desperately trying to get out.