Death and Desperation

Death and Desperation 8/15/2012

I have prayed for the words
And I have asked for inspiration
And now I feel it welling up
As my fingers stab
At the keyboard.

I am not afraid
And I am not amused
Because there is nothing left to take
And nothing left to lose.

What I thought I had
I never really owned
But only now do I understand
That I was better off alone.

It made me have to think
And it made me change
Giving up all the luxuries
That made me who I was.

No longer safe
And no longer protected
But barely treading water
Mocked and abused
Day after day.

Making me more than a man
With a bad reputation
And more than a man without
Any possessions.

But rather it grew me
From the inside out
Into who I am
A man who cannot be bought
And cannot be bullied.

Accusations are meaningless
And name calling a joke
Because anybodies opinion
Is nothing but a momentary puff of smoke.

I can still love with nothing
And I can still sleep at night
Because I have spoken the truth
Without reservation or fear.

I have stated it plainly
And I shall state it again
That I shall make no apologies
And no excuses
Not for who I was
Or who I am.

It is a long journey
Up from guilt and shame
But still worth the effort
In spite of the pain.

Now I live
And now I know
Rising higher on wings of iron
Picking and choosing
How and when to live.

Look out now
Because the bottoms about to fall
When we lose our footing
And slide out of control.

When all seems lost
And everything’s a mess
That is when you know
That the time for evil
Is almost over.

In the end
A bigger change is coming
The one for which we long
Then and only then
The real truth.