The Dead Half

The Dead Half 7/31/2012

It took a long time
To kill that crippled self
That part of me
That was defective
And always dragging me down.

Pulling me backwards
Until I could barely stand
And always ruining my happiness
With foolish demands.

It didn’t die easy
And it didn’t go quiet
Fighting me every inch
Until I could fight no more.

I thought that if I was quiet
Then I was part of the problem
And I bruised myself
Just to prove a point.

I didn’t want to forget
Because that meant giving in
And I didn’t want to be silent
Because that mean giving up.

But even if I forgive
And even if I heal
It does not excuse evil
Or make it ok.

No longer should I waste my efforts
And bang my head against the wall
And no longer should I suffer
For what others have done.

It is better to let them go
And take the damage and run
Resisting where I can
Without pain or angst.

Their own words
Shall give them away
And they shall stumble and fall
Unexpected and hard.

No one knows when
And no one knows how
But even the worst horrors end
Someday in the end.

I say what I need to
And I do what I can
But never more
Shall I let it eat me
From the inside out.

I have put away my heart
And keep it safe inside
Never again to bleed
All over the floor.

Your heart is your treasure
So do not waste a drop
Not on useless rage
Or self inflicted pain.

But instead stand
Head held high
Calmly telling the truth
The only way we can.

Time goes on forever
And the years do not see a change
But all the years of history
Can happen in a moment
Of destiny and growth.

Soon all of this will disappear
And the dust will blow away
Revealing the truth still standing
Big, bold, free and clear.