Closed Casket

Closed Casket 7/16/2012

How close can anyone get
To death
And yet still live?
And how far can the spirit travel
And still return to flesh?

Can a dead man walk
And the condemned repent?
More dead than alive
Without imagination
Or conscience.

The world is cruel
And it takes all it can
Always looking to punish
And always looking to blame.

If I am cursed
Then that would explain it
Because I am cut off
Everywhere I look.

Hunted over nothing
And cruelly attacked
Squeezing out every penny
Just to make it hurt.

But they have forgotten
That life is a circle
Looping over on itself
Returning our actions
Into our rewards.

It is enough to know
That the motive is clear
The works of desperate men
Who know
Their days are numbered.

Raging against the good
To do as much damage at they can
Remorseless
And arrogant.

I have lived the curse
And I have buried myself
Longing for death to take
What my actions had failed to kill.

But something’s are not up to us
And God has a purpose
Bigger than us
Unsearchable and unknowable.

It is hard to see a point
When there is nothing left to save
With nothing left to give
And nothing left to hold.

And it is hard to keep on trying
When you are ashamed
Hanging your head
And staring at the floor.

Because there are the people
Who will laugh at your pain
Too stupid to understand
Just how shallow
They really are.

I did not know it then
And I did not think to question
About the cost of my emotions
And self indulgent dreams.

I dug a hole
And lay down in the dirt
Burying myself
In a deep dark pit.

Neither living nor dead
But more dead than alive
Merely going through the motions
As I sang myself to sleep.

I cursed the day
And the heavy black cloud
Following me forever
Like a heavy black curtain.

But I have learned to be happy
Even in this silent tomb
Because my life is ransomed
And all my debts paid
Regardless of my mistakes
And in spite of my sin.

Finding comfort in the darkness
And faith without vision
Growing on the inside
Without acknowledgement
Or praise.

And yes, I will rise
With my own hands and feet
Without earthly support
And without earthly regret.

To live again
And laugh again
But this time without doubt
Fearless and free.

To live for others
And abandon myself
Leaving my selfish desires
To rot in the ground.

By this knowledge and wisdom
I shall return it all
Blow by blow
Twice as hard
And twice as violent.

Searching out the guilty
As they run, crawl and hide
Exposing themselves
Before God and man.