Infrared a poem for the night

Infrared 9/28/2011

There is what you see
But there is more that you don't
Spreading downwards in all directions
A gigantic invisible world.

The night has a heaviness
That weighs on the mind
A tidal force almost imperceptible
That tilts towards dreams
And madness.

I have laid down to rest
On a bed of debts and dread
Exhausted from another day
Of keeping my head above water
And beneath the blade.

In a momentary silence
My mind starts to race
Adding up all the consuquences
Of a thousand random decisions.

I imagine myself in spirit
The one I really am
Rising out of my body
And climbing to the roof.

Unfettered and fearless
I leap from the tiles
And ride the wind upwards
Rising on the current
Higher and higher.

I dig my wings deep
And I can feel the pull of the muscle
And I can smell the wet earth
And the cold rush of air.

Picking up speed
I glide above the streets
Along a path
that I know so well.

I make a lazy circle
Over the old house
The one I loved
And the one I lost.

I look at the backyard
Where we buried the rabbit
And bank to the right
Heading east
Higher and Higher.

I pass over the interstate
And south to the highway
Watching the cars
And the reflections.

Turning right I see the houses
Knowing what to do
And knowing where to go
To find the missing pieces
And pay off what is owed.

Coming down fast
I come to the twisting turns
Right, left, right, and left
Back to the place
Where the payment is due.

My eyes are burning
And my teeth are flashing
Jagged, bleeding
And very hungry.

The windows and the doors
Do not slow me down
Because I am here for a reason
To pay back my debts in full.

The debt is heavy
And the interest is high
But I have come back to pay it
And pay it I will.

But I am not paying with money
Because money isn't the most important
But rather to punish
And destroy.

My hands are like iron
And they twist and pull apart
Ripping everything to pieces
Except for the innocent
And the mistaken.

The terror has only begun
And nothing can stop it
Not until everything is paid
And there is nothing left.


Quick Sand 9/28/2011

We are so smart
That we are dumb
Always looking to others
To tell us how to live.

We buy all their answers
Like they should know better
Picking out the pieces
That tell us
What we want.

Everyone makes mistakes
But the bigger the mistake
The harder it is to admit
So instead we dig deeper
and pretend that its okay.

It is hard to climb up
But easy to fall down
And better it is to swallow your pride
Than it is
To pretend.

We dig ourselves deeper and deeper
And then resign ourselves to failure
Too deep to escape we think
and trapped by the need.

The more we struggle
The tighter the grip becomes
Pulling us downwards like quicksand
In a suffocating panic.

Surrendering ourselves
For others peoples dreams
Pretending that they are the same
And dying every day.

Scheduling ourselves into oblivion
And watched every single moment
Every day on and every day off
All for something
We never intended.

Give yourself up
And give yourself away
Hurting others
And killing yourself.