I signed my name
And that was it
Alone in a world of silence
Cut off and dead.
It was one of those moments
When you feel time passing
A heaviness of atmosphere
Full of excitement or dread.
I drove straight home
And warmed up a frozen dinner
Tasteless fuel
Eaten more out of habit
Than hunger.
I washed it down with whiskey
Until my tongue was numb
Because now, no one was watching
And now, no one cared.
I called no one
And the phone did not ring
Abandoned in my own house
That echoed like a tomb.
I sat in the dining room
And I think I knew even then
That I was destined to lose
And leave in shame.
I did not cry
Even though I wanted to
Because now, I was dried out
A brittle and empty husk.
I didn’t know what to say
And I didn’t know how to act
Unable to sleep
Without some sort of sedation
To help me forget.
I fell in
To a deep dark hole
And it feels like it lasted
forever
With no way up
And no way out.
Falling down is easy
But climbing up is hard
And that is why the world hates
Everything, it can’t understand.
So much is lost
By impatience
Because we give up
And long for escape.
And how much, would we have gained?
If only, we would have tried
Sticking it out
Day after day.
I was only sleeping
And I did not know
But now that I am awake
All I can do, is mourn.
The chapter has closed
But the tragedy continues
As I scan my life backwards
Speechless, and sad.
I bleed the words
And hope it makes sense
As I fight to stay awake,
And finish what I started.
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