Take it all

Take it all 3/11/2013

Take all I have
And leave nothing left
Because then it will make
No difference
If I roll over and die.

My heart was not enough
And neither is my blood
So I shall pick up the pieces
And suck back
What I lost.

Building back up
All that was wasted
And make it all new again
Piece by piece
And drop by drop
Stronger than before.

I have taken my dreams
And sent them away
Rising upwards in puff of smoke
Invisible and pure.

Containing all my wishes
And all of my prayers
All bound together
Over my head.

I never belonged where I was
And I never will here
Just passing on through
On my way to anywhere else.

Someday this longing will end
And someday I will be at home
At last fully known,
Accepted, and loved.

Loved not as the world loves
And not for what I do
But for who I am
And who I will become.

I will have my castle
And get to keep it to
Where I will I live in Black Fields forever
No longer bound
Or cursed.

Half of me is still here
But half of me is there
While I live and linger
Half dead
And half alive.

Go ahead and take it
Because this is all ash and dust
Ready to blow away
Today or tomorrow.

Nothing here
Will ever be enough
And that is why we mourn
And that is why we weep.

Built to sink
Even if we try
So I shall punch a hole
And watch it all die.

I cannot be stopped
And I cannot be contained
Not where I am headed
And not where I am from.

All I ever had to do
Was ask
And all I ever needed
Was right there
All along.

So I ask for what is better
And I ask for what real
Ready to finish what I started
And live in it forever.