knock knock

The Doorway 3/29/2013

Haunted houses
Have soul
And even though they crumble
The memory lasts forever.

I came from a haunted town
But even the ghosts had to leave
Because no one was left
To touch or hold.

We took down the chandelier
But had to cut the cords in attic
Gently lowering it to the floor
And into a truck.

As long as I can remember
It hung above our heads
Now it is probably hanging somewhere
That I will never know.

Nothing lasts forever
Neither, family, security, or warmth
All of it, gone in a second
And spent in a day.

We are all rotten
Because we died on the inside first
Hollowed out and caving in
Like rotted fruit
Mushy and ruined.

All for a lie
And all for a joke
Because no one had the courage
To stand for the truth.

We pay respects every day
But only to the undeserving
While neglecting our own
To languish and rot.

It is hard to imagine
All that was lost
Unless you try and remember
Who you were
And what you saw.

The uncomfortable truth
That hurts coming out
But in the end is like
Food for the soul
And bread in your gut.

I found a door in a pile of trash
Deeply carved with leaded glass
Dark, heavy, and just as beautiful
As when it was hung
Many decades ago.

I carried it home
And gave it a bath
Careful not to disturb
The patina of the past.

I shall use it as a reminder
Of all the doors I knew
But could never keep
More beautiful in memory
Than anything remaining.

Hold onto love
And wait another second longer
Finding a new way to appreciate
Everything they are.

All things age
But we can all choose how
Either with contentment
And dignity
Or careless debasement.

I shall knock on the door
And it shall be opened
Drawing me backwards
And home
At last.

Show and Tell

Show and Tell 3/28/2013

People are predictable
And people are dumb
Always the same
Foolish, arrogant and vain.

And how they love to limit
And how they love to ridicule
Kicking a dead man
Just to watch him roll.

The world elevates
And the world destroys
But not always because of talent,
Character, or intelligence.

Always judging
And always evaluating
Looking for something
To diminish or label.

That is them
And that is why
That their chances are wasted
And their treasure lost.

But each of us, has power
The power to give
Or hoard
And the power to question
Or forgive.

How much would we gain?
If we only tried
Putting others ahead
Instead of behind.

All done for show
To build up themselves
And degrade others
Pouring salt into wounds
And acid in my eye.

We should remember
What it is
That we believe
Instead of picking out hairs
In someone else’s plate.

I know what it feels like
And I hope that I never forget
A valuable lesson
To be remembered
And held.

Some men are laughing
As they punch and kick
But it is their world
That is lost
And never to come back.

Their hatred shall run out of steam
And God shall turn away
Even though they used his name
Every night and day.

He is here
And stands at the door
Ready to reveal
All that was hidden
And restore
All that was lost.

Click

Click 3/27/2013

Somewhere deep inside
A light switches on
And a long dead part of the self
Awakes and shrugs off
Centuries of sleep.

That part we forgot
But never truly lost
A deep and dark
Reminder
Of who we really are.

Many have forgotten
The ancient blood
Running in our veins
And remaining dormant
In our brains.

But every time is different
And now is the time for defiance
Just as those before
And those to come.

The way of the world is death
But there are so many ways to die
Dying in the mind
Like dying in the flesh
Rotting from the head down.

It is time to throw the fish away
And it is time
To stand like we once did
In the name of something greater
Than insolent swine.

Let others play with words
And let them throw darts
At a safe distance
Playing for time
And deluding themselves.

The greatest victories
Are yet to come
No matter how hopeless it seems
Or how pointless it appears.

For all of this is joke
And all of this is a lie
Better lost than remembered
And better crushed
Than immortalized.

Tunnel Vision

Tunnel Vision 3/26/2013

Just because you cannot see it
Does not mean
That it’s not there
Just a step away
On the other side of time.

The particles travel
Faster than light
From one place to another
In different forms and masses.

What was
Will be again
And what is
Will vanish forever.

Our thoughts create reality
And this one is fading fast
Because no one cares
And everyone runs.

Animals cannot know
What man plans and thinks
And neither can man retrieve
What he never had.

The spark is snuffed out
Without love and understanding
Extinguished before they ever knew
Or embraced God.

Something is inside us
Determining our steps
A guide and a destiny
Written in our genes.

We can lose or we can win
But the destiny remains
More a product of our character
Than our means.

The world lifts up
And the world crushes
Under the weight of ignorance
And envy.

What took so long to build
Is destroyed in a day
By the ugliness of man
The refined becomes crude
And crass.

Taught to idolize themselves
And taught to blame others
Selfish, entitled,
Shallow and dumb.

Falling down
And falling away
Crushed by the avalanche
That they started.

Wax melts
And insects multiply
Same as they always did
Until the poison
Kills them all.

The good and the bad
Live and die
But only the good
Die once
And live forever.

Dead Crickets

Dead Crickets 3/25/2013

You have heard the sound before
Crickets chirping on a summer night
A comforting rhythmic reminder
Of many seasons gone by.

But today there are no crickets
And there is no shouting
As people hurry on their way to work
Without ever
Turning around.

No one chants
And no one protests
Because only the murdered are voiceless
And man has no shame.

The world is silent today
Just like I knew it would be
Because it no longer matters
What is right
Or what is wrong
But only how it looks
And what it costs.

Maybe you didn’t hear
Because the truth is suppressed
But there is death in the streets
And blood on their hands.

Unthinkable and horrific
Animalistic and base
As pure a hatred
As man ever knew.

Where is the press?
And where is the truth?
Nothing but a footnote
In a sea of lies.

It is time to break the silence
And time to shatter the lies
With unapologetic truth
Because it could be you
And it could be me.

They have not seen hell
But hell is never far
Opening its mouth
And dripping with acid.

Do not forget
And do not relax
But instead make your plans
For today and tomorrow.

They can kill many
But they will never win
Because something is coming
That they do not know
And does not know them.

They will search
And they can track
But they will never find
This white ghost
In a black castle.

Black Widow

Black Widow 3/22/2013

Sometimes people
Get a second chance
But sometimes they are finished
Before they ever knew.

It doesn’t matter
What we admit
And it doesn’t matter
What we pretend.

The truth remains
Whether we accept it
Or reject it
Recorded in our heart
And embedded in our brains.

To set us free
Or spread like cancer
Metastasizing into everything
We say and do.

You can call me good
Or you can call me evil
But never call me indifferent
Or ambivalent.

The curse of man
Is to be statist
Unable to act
Until it’s too late.

Frozen in place
By irrational fear
Until we run out of choices
And we are forced
To fight or die.

My blood has been sucked
And now I am dry
White as a sheet
And dead to the world.

Passed over and forgotten
But just for a time
Until I am needed
And arise from the grave.

Vengeance is useless
And punishment unfair
For how can I measure
How much I gave
And how much I lost.

Dream me a dream
And pretend we are alive
Feeling all those feelings
That we all used to feel.

Conjure up some words
And whisper them in my ear
To help me remember
All that we once had.

Tell me you love me
Or curse me to hell
Because it was never enough before
And it sure isn’t now.

Come closer
And look into my soul
Seeing all that I have seen
And knowing all that I know.

I am not defeated
And I have not disappeared
Hovering forever
Inside of their heads.

They can stew in their juices
And sizzle like fat
Flashing in the pan
And gone forever.

Here I am
But where are you?
Same as it ever was
And always will be.

The Charnel House

The Charnel House 3/21/2013

I wish that I could say
That it’s all right
But words are not enough
And that will never be okay.

The bottom will fall out
Just as it always does
And we will sink even further
Than where we are now.

In the end
Everyman pays the price
Even if they meant no harm
And tried their best.

We were set up to fail
And we are paid to be quiet
But nothing lasts forever
And neither will this.

Everything is fake
And everything is pretend
Perfect on the outside
And ruined within.

We learned about the past
But thought we were immune
Just because of our blindness,
Arrogance and greed.

But we live in a bubble
Floating precariously over an abyss
Lied to all our lives
That all roads
Lead to God.

The bubble will pop
Because that is what they do
And then we will fall
All the way down.

If it could happen to one
It can happen to all
And if it happened before
It always will again.

Just because we are fine
Does not mean that
We will survive
And just because we live
Does not mean
We cannot die.

We have built a beast
And now it totters and falls
Overwhelmed by the parasites
Riding on its back.

I was not the first to suffer
And I am not unique
But I asked to follow
Without comprehending
Or understanding.

I do not regret the cost
Because now I can see
That what I am
Is far better
Than what I might have been.

One thing led to another
And I lost all I had
Falling deep down into the pit
Where no light can escape.

It starts in the stomach
And doubles you over with pain
The realization of heartless cruelty
And how it feels to beg.

But even the worst
Is better than you think
And even disgrace
Worn with dignity
Is greater than comfort.

Remember this
When your guts are falling out
And you have no hope
Because that will be the moment
When the highest honor shall dangle
Only one choice away.

Nowhere to Nevermore

Nowhere to Nevermore 3/19/2013

Under the red lights
Life becomes surreal
Enough to make your ears ache
And your nostrils burn.

A place where the days blend together
And there is nothing but night
Where all the ghosts gather
And destroy what they see.

It was then
That I thought I knew
What was plastic
And what was real
But I never knew a fucking thing
And maybe I never will.

I had my dark secrets
And I had my plastic princess
Snaking my way through a crowd
On my way
From nowhere to nevermore.

I painted my black clothes
With white verses
And I screamed out my screed
Until my voice was gone
And my eyes were empty.

I drank as much as I could
And I fell down the stairs
Laughing on my back
Because I didn’t feel a thing.

Life goes on
But sometimes it doesn’t
With nothing but a few split seconds
Between now
And forever.

The curtains have closed
Heavy, wet, and black
Shutting out the sun
And memory.

Some still live
And some are dead
Waiting for me
And circling
Over my head.

Concrete is concrete
And velvet is velvet
Nothing but a blank canvas
To paint, rip, and trash.

If I am here
And someone might listen
What are the odds of that?
Greater than the grains of sand
Burning under my feet.

Time slips away
One drop at a time
But when the spirit creates
All things are new.

I am better than before
Because now I can see
That every moment is precious
And beautiful.

Life can kick you around
And bloody your nose
But if you can still imagine
You can still grow.

My friends are with me now
I can feel them in my veins
And we can all live forever
Just like I knew we would.

Someday you will see me
And everything will be understood
All wounds healed
And all loss forgotten.

The Great Unloved

The Unloved 3/18/2013

There is a wasteland
Outside of my house
Where the great unloved
Live and die.

Untold in number
And unknown at large
The ignored and the wasted
Neglected and dead.

What was once hope
Has now become loathing
And what was once a potential
Devolves into madness.

Born, bred
And left to themselves
Stunted remainders
At the end of their rope.

Given just enough
So that they don’t die
But never truly loved,
Watered, or touched.

This is the harvest
Of the selfish and the vain
Too stupid to notice
All that they have wrought.

All around you
And all around me
Grown up and predatory
To the rest
And the whole.

What can anyone do
And what can anyone say
When we did what was right
But it will never be enough.

The good are still hated
And the dogs still growl
Pulling over trash cans
And barring their teeth.

Just like the water flowing
Deep underground
That same thing as always
Climbing up slowly
From guilt.

You can do what you can
But it has to start with a baby
Because God only knows
What we had
And all that we lost.

Raise them up in the truth
And teach them to trust
What they know
And what they see.

Preserve the spark of joy
Just as long as you can
So that others may see
And many may live.

Guillotined

Guillotined 3/15/2013

The first man to standup
Got his head cut off
And the first man to speak
Was shouted down
And harassed.

Bullied, threatened, and disparaged
To head off any questions
While some men are lifted up
So they can skim, waste, and steal.

Welcome to the end
So beautiful and tragic
As the old things ripen
And rot.

Because things like this
Cannot happen overnight
A long time coming
And out with a bang.

It hurts to see it happen
But we all knew it would
Sneaking up from behind
With murder in their heart.

But so also can the good
Overcome the darkness
As we crawl out from under a rock
And savor the sun.

And we are more than conquerors
We when we smile triumphantly
Even when it hurts
And even when we lose.

Knowing that we can overcome the world
And grasp victory by the throat
Every time we speak for the silent
And defend the powerless.

Learning by living
And learning how to love
Even if we are destroyed
Over and over again.

This is the greatest day
And there is nothing we cannot do
Or achieve
Not if we remain fearless

So speak loud
And live bold
Shouting out the truth
As if it was your day
To truly live and die.

Punishment can hurt
But regret is the harshest judge
And better it is to suffer
Than watch the good burn.

Bring on the worst
Because even terror has an end
Awash in the blood of saints
Born to die beautifully
And live forever.

The Dead Party

Dead Party 3/14/2013

I was knocking on the door
Long before I kicked it in
Because no one can wait forever
For someone to wake up
Before the world will end.

When I cut my head
I just let it bleed
And rolled around like a white worm
On a plate of glass.

I am the same
As I was
Still running with the ghosts
Through the burning fields.

I am still my self
Untamed and unpredictable
Full of possibilities
And endless potentials.

If I could make the world over
How would I destroy it?
Breaking it into pieces
To start all over again.

But there is still time
For us to start
And paint with bold strokes
All across the sky.

To make this day
The best we ever had
Renewing ourselves
From the inside out.

The body remembers its parts
And the parts remember me
In trillions of inactive cells
Reaching backwards through time.

Those who lived before
Live on inside
Their memory embedded
Deep within DNA.

The spark of creation
Has never died
But remains
As long as one link is left.

He will dig through the links
And make us all over again
Better than we were
At last completely awake
And at last completely alive.

There is nothing to lose
But everything to gain
As everything that we ever did
Remains
And grows.

I shall yet laugh
And drink with my friends
Together forever
Deathless and free

Out of town

I am out of town and can't write. I plan on being back Thursday or Friday. Until then... Rob McManus

Take it all

Take it all 3/11/2013

Take all I have
And leave nothing left
Because then it will make
No difference
If I roll over and die.

My heart was not enough
And neither is my blood
So I shall pick up the pieces
And suck back
What I lost.

Building back up
All that was wasted
And make it all new again
Piece by piece
And drop by drop
Stronger than before.

I have taken my dreams
And sent them away
Rising upwards in puff of smoke
Invisible and pure.

Containing all my wishes
And all of my prayers
All bound together
Over my head.

I never belonged where I was
And I never will here
Just passing on through
On my way to anywhere else.

Someday this longing will end
And someday I will be at home
At last fully known,
Accepted, and loved.

Loved not as the world loves
And not for what I do
But for who I am
And who I will become.

I will have my castle
And get to keep it to
Where I will I live in Black Fields forever
No longer bound
Or cursed.

Half of me is still here
But half of me is there
While I live and linger
Half dead
And half alive.

Go ahead and take it
Because this is all ash and dust
Ready to blow away
Today or tomorrow.

Nothing here
Will ever be enough
And that is why we mourn
And that is why we weep.

Built to sink
Even if we try
So I shall punch a hole
And watch it all die.

I cannot be stopped
And I cannot be contained
Not where I am headed
And not where I am from.

All I ever had to do
Was ask
And all I ever needed
Was right there
All along.

So I ask for what is better
And I ask for what real
Ready to finish what I started
And live in it forever.

Silver Fringe

Silver Fringe 3/8/2013

Life is more art
Than it is dreaming
And art is like life immortalized
Crystallized in an instant
Beautiful and surreal.

Anything can be beautiful
And anything can be ugly
If you move it sideways
And paint it silver.

There is the way
We wish things were
And there is the way
That it really is.

My mind wanders
And I think about all possibilities
Endless as grains of sand
And stars in the sky.

A beautiful woman
Putting on make up
Is like a statue
Highlighting perfection
Lustrous and divine.

There are no limits to creation
And God has painted the trees
As deep and mysterious
As emeralds in a cave.

And we are just passengers
Traveling at high speed
Lucky enough to ride
And pick up odd gems
Of sensations, sights and sounds.

Nothing I will ever do
And nothing I will ever say
Can further edify
All that it is
And all that it was.

Everything can be good
If we turn it all around
Turning a horror into a lesson
Never to be forgotten.

There are no others like me
And there are no others like you
Burning like stars
In the cold expanses of space.

We can shine forever
But only if we know
When to say yes
And when to say no.

Others seek to control
And others seek to limit
Small minded and envious
Of the things
They will never do.

The gifts stands alone
And it’s okay for us to smile
Knowing that we shall conquer
And inspire.

Dashboard

Dashboard Killer 3/7/2013

A silent killer
Lurks above your head
Able to strike
Without warning,
Accusation, or trial.

A silent death
That no one hears coming
Until they are blown to bits
And nothing remains.

Our enemies are emboldened
And our friends run scared
As the world has turned upside down
And the snake swallows its tail.

Can a man believe his eyes
Or half of what he hears
When the hand behind the scenes
Controls it all?

In your heart
There is a place
Where you know who you are
And you know what is right.

When what you see
Makes no sense
What are you to think?
And what are you to do?

What is real
And what is fake
When everything you hear
Is nothing but a lie.

A lie can become reality
With power and control
Because it doesn’t matter
If you are right
If you are hunted
And killed.

An enemy will always hate
But a liar comes in from behind
With a smile on his face
And death in his heart.

Distracting you with promises
And waving a false flag of peace
Just long enough for power
And opportunity.

If you grew up
And if you looked
Then you have seen the snakes
Coming out of their eyes.

Seething with hatred
And boiling with rage
Hiding their hands just long enough
To deal out the blows.

If you believe in the law
And if you love your children
Then you are their enemy
To be hated and mocked.

Because laws do not matter
And the honor system is dead
Because all they care
Is getting what they want
And taking all they can.

The sun is sinking in the sea
And the tide of darkness rises
Pulled over our eyes
Like a sheet
Over our heads.

But even this shall end
When enough is enough
And God shows his hand
The same hand we knew
And should have believed.

He will be
Just as we thought he was
With fire in his eyes
And a sword in his mouth.

Then they shall run
And then they shall hide
Gone in an instant
Dead and forgotten.

Swept away
To stew and boil
Dying forever
Silent and dumb.

Black Fields Forever

Black Fields Forever 3/6/2013

What do you do?
And what do you say?
When all the laughter is over
And the world is silent,
Dead, and dying.

When all the money is gone
And all the windows kicked out
Leaving you shivering in the bedroom
With the snow coming in.

With nothing but time
And nothing but desperation
Dogging you every day
And haunting you
Every night.

Living with ghosts isn’t easy
Because they never need to sleep
Awake at all hours
And grabbing at your ankles.

They don’t care if it hurts
And they don’t care
How you feel
Because they can’t feel a thing
And never will again.

Life without a purpose
Will never have a meaning
And life without meaning
Is wasted, dumb and dead.

But so much for the words
Predictable and overused
Twisted into knots
Useless and heavy.

Making life harder
Just to make us feel better
Mucking up the process
Cumbersome and tired.

Enough to make you cry
And enough to make you quit
Running through the trees
And screaming for your life.

I belong in the black fields
And I belong in my castle
Transcribing words into poetry
About a world
No one has seen.

They can have what is left
And burn it to the ground
Because whatever it was
It isn’t worth a damn.

If I live, I live
And if I die
Then I live forever
Much better if free and dangerous
Than rotting in peaceful slavery.

American Playground

American Playground 3/5/2013

The tail lashes the body
And the weak persecute the strong
Deluded, deranged
Hateful and dumb.

To them I am a devil
And to them I am the hated
A reminder of their weakness
To be envied and despised.

No matter what I sacrifice
It will never be enough
As the parasites suck the blood
Of the free and the strong.

When they see me
What do they think?
But they never knew me
And they never will.

How twisted is the logic
That has made me the hated
When I did them no harm
And only told the truth.

No more to blame
Than the first or the next
Just another person
No better
And no worse.

Our world is full of death
And horror has filled the streets
As the good and the unsuspecting
Are murdered by surprise.

The good have put on blinders
And trust their children
With the damned
Only to be dumbfounded
At the lies.

But even a lie
Told often enough
Can take on a truth
And so the generations are slain
Before they ever knew.

The voices are silent
And their mouths are shut
Never again
To laugh or cry.

They are the silent
And they are the dead
Terrorized, abused
Attacked and ignored.

The media culture is silent
And no one protests the horror
Even when parents grieve
And brothers weep.

What will it take
To rise up the truth
And bring down the fire
Where it so righteously
Belongs.

But nothing lasts forever
And even this shall end
With a heavy hand
Coming down
Pressing and crushing
Body and soul.

Struck dead where they stand
And food for the beasts
Consumed forever
In a lake of fire.

Bloodline

Bloodline 3/4/2013

It hurts to be sentimental
But it’s worse to forget
And so I throw myself forward
Into another day.

It doesn’t matter
What I wished
And it doesn’t matter
What I wanted
As long as I see
The truth outright.

There will always be things
That we do not understand
But if we knew then
What we know now
Then we would never learn
Or become worthy.

Looking backwards
It’s easy to see
That if you leave the door open
Someone will come in.

I didn’t know to ask
But I opened up my heart
And in came the inspiration
Like a dew drop of fire.

Now I can see
And now I know
That what I see
Is but a tiny fraction
Of all that is.

A straight line has formed
Linking me to the past
A thin red line
Connecting my body
And a silver cord
Connecting my soul.

Nothing is lost
And all the secrets are known
As I am picked up
And driven on.

Everything that was taken
Is with me now
Replaced with time
And better than before.

Notice the sky
And notice the signs
As the earth heaves up
And shrugs us off.

Death is dead
And we shall rise
Invisible
And complete.

Moving from one place to another
And reassembled in place
Everywhere at once
And everywhere in time.

I was discarded
And I was replaced
But what is lost returns
A thousand times a thousand.

Undiluted
Undefeated
Indomitable
And Triumphant.

Sideswipe

Sideswipe 3/1/2013

Sometimes I need push
And sometimes I need a shove
Just something to wake me up
And remind me
What to do.

Kind of like a close call
Driving down a lonely road
When you almost hit the ditch
And almost lose control.

We take our life
One bite at a time
And if we are lucky
We get to eat it all.

Life is full of chances
And the odds of luck
Are hard to define
Because no one knows the future
Until its already here.

I search for words
But never know
What I should say
Until I give up
And they come
Like machine gun fire.

The end of the world
Happens every day
Ever since it started
And ever since
We were born.

We try and understand
But time is a mystery to me
Stretching out to infinity
Whether I live or die.

We will be dead
Longer than we are alive
But nobody plans for eternity
Until it is too late.

We take our chances
With people and things
But it’s all about us
Until we are gone.

I have loved
And I have lost
But I pray I can have them all
On the other side.

All as one
In a kingdom without end
At last among the living
On the better side of time.

And nothing will be taken
And nothing will be lost
Everything shared
And everything known.

Learning, growing
And loving
Forever new
Shinning and bright.