Sole Survivor

Sole Survivor 6/21/2012

The world can change in just one day
Either for the better
Or for the worse
By just one thought, or action
In one specific crack in time.

At the intersection of time and location
All our lives come down to a point
Turning on circumstance and grace
Leading us far or near
To God or to man.

Words cannot describe
All that has happened
The bonds that I’ve made
And the loves I have lost.

The dizzying heights
And devastating lows
Spreading further and further
To places known and unknown.

It is the one thing you never prepared for
That cuts you in half
Leaving you doubled over
And bleeding on the floor.

Weakness brings us low
In ways we could not predict
As the bottom drops off
And everything is lost.

Some are haunted by addictions
And some ravaged by disease
Or cut off in a split second
By the smallest fraction
Of momentum and speed.

I could not have dreamed
That I would be writing these words
As surprising as a shot to the gut
Piercing through organ and flesh.

Coming to mind
In streams of thought
Or in bolts of electricity
Sudden and shocking.

Even family is a mystery
And some curses were meant to last
Passed down from generation to generation
Splitting us apart
One by one.

A phone call comes
And everything dies
Or an announcement is made
And our dreams are dashed.

I took my life for granted
And then watched it slip away
Leaving me without a friend
Or any hope at all.

I should have been crushed
But I am still standing
Humbled by loss
And straightened by want.

I am neither above
Nor below
But I am better than I was
A world apart
From the one I knew.

I am a survivor
Guarded and careful
But never quite as happy
And never half as safe.

I think there is a reason
But I do not know it yet
That I make this long journey
Up from humiliation and shame.

There is nothing more painful
Than to be passed over
And to be left hanging your head
Skipped for the proud, stupid,
Vain and foolish.

But if a man survives
Then one must wonder
For what and for why?
Does he live
While others more deserving
Roll over and die.

I am a mystery
And I am a riddle
A person ready to happen
And a man waiting to know.

Burned by the fire
And frozen in the snow
Loved enough to understand
And hated enough to know.

Raised in a different world
The one that is disappearing
Founded and seasoned
By individualism
And character.

Much was given
And much has been squandered
Like riches on the unwise
And freedom on the foolish.

It does not take long
To destroy the work of centuries
The fruit of labor wasted
To buy the loyalty of fools.

I may never find the answer
In this fallen world
But wisdom is found in the search
And not in absolutes.

Today we are here
And today we learn
But not just for now
And not just for us.

We live and we learn
But that doesn’t mean
We understand
And nothing will ever last
Without determination and courage.

Now I know
And now I understand
That the critical part
Is not my speed
But how I run
And how I pass the torch.