Exit Wounds

Exit Wounds 2/14/2012

We all have feelings
And we all suffer pain
But not all shall go quietly
And not all shall fade away.

I know what it feels like
To seek eternal slumber
And pull the covers over
To forget about the day.

To know the pointless desperation
Of another wasted day
Unwilling to pretend another moment
That I ever cared at all.

I remember the blackness
And I remember the hole
That place of dark comfort
Away from the world.

It was there that I gave up
And retreated into myself
Without anymore love
And without any more pain.

But it was there
That I had to decide
Whether it be the end
Or another beginning.

To either die
Or live
And either give up
Or rise again.

There are always reasons
And there are always obstacles
With enough justification
To either stay or leave.

But in the end
It’s not about me
And everything I do
Effects everyone else.

My feelings are transient
And the suffering an illusion
Nothing but the death throes
Of a false sense of self.

We all feel sick
And we all want love
But what we need
Is something authentic
And more meaningful
Than dreams.

Any man can escape
But all men must pay the price
Sooner or later accountable
For every single debt.

Any man can cry foul
And any man can run away
But in the end
We either stand up
Or hide.

Staring into the setting sun
I said Damn the world
My face set like stone
And my eyes burning with rage.

I took a swig of whiskey
And broke the bottle on the patio
Just wanting to do something unequivocal
And something real.

I was looking for something
Something undeniable
Something that could not be argued
And not be analyzed.

Something that no one could manufacture
Or label
An undisputed measurement
Of who I really am.

Because that is what we do
We argue and we limit
Qualifying every belief
And compromising every inspiration.

Critiquing the lives of others
And defending the indefensible
While the cities burn
And the world is lost.

I consumed all I could
And I hardened my heart
Willing to kill
And ready to die.

I drank with the devil
And gambled with a demon
Screaming bloody words
Into a great white void.

But I didn’t find what I wanted
And no man can burn the world
Without burning himself
And dying in the flames.

Reduced to the terrors
And burning up with fever
Chilled to the bone
And crying out in pain.

Maybe they looked at me and wondered
And maybe they laughed at my loss
But I am larger than I was
And twice as determined.

As for me
I have made my decision
To take up my life
And live it truly again.

People are not options
And life isn’t multiple choice
Because nothing is more noble
Than to stand
And see it through.