Sooner or Later

Sooner or Later 2/29/2012

Sooner or later
We discover the truth
Whether we seek it or not
We shall embrace
The great unknown.

Situations change
But people remain the same
Flailing their arms
Like windmills
Useless and dumb.

How can justice
Hurt the good?
And if it hurts the good
Then it’s not justice at all.

Blinded by our pride
We pretend that we know
As if we know the truth
And everyone else is wrong
Or ignorant.

But we know in part
And the truth hovers above
Just out of reach
Elusive and perfect.

So what are we to think?
And what are we to do?
If we know so little
And fumble in the dark.

The answers are not hidden
And the riddles are just a joke
Mysteries that we’ll never know
And that is not soo bad.

Maybe its better
That I don’t understand
Because what could I do
If I knew the reasons why.

Burdened by the knowledge
Of all that I never did
And condemned
By all the things I did.

My mind has many rooms
And I have kept the best
A secret
Too beautiful to explain.

The future is hard to decipher
Until it is too late
But our finest hour
May still be yet to come
Impossible to predict
And impossible to avoid.

Whether we pass or fail
The tests always come
But they only get harder
As we grow and learn.

My dreams are no less worthy
And my heart is my only treasure
More than a muscle
And more than blood.

I have been despised
And I have been the hated
Forgotten and overlooked
And left out to die.

A terrible dark secret
Walled off from the world
To languish in a tower
Like a ghost.

To dwell with the secrets
That they wanted to ignore
Wandering the halls
Forever.

There are mysteries
That no man can explain
But maybe its better that way
Because once we know
We are never the same.

Knowledge requires responsibility
And that implies an obligation
And obligations are what we avoid
So instead we just run
And take a shot in the dark.

As long as we don’t rock the boat
No one will see our desperation
Nor will they notice
The pain or the loss.

We hear about the lost souls
And we read about the psychopaths
But nowhere do we see
Those who endure.

The high and the mighty
Love to ridicule and deride
Free from the constraints
Of the hand to the mouth.

But how many are forgotten?
And how many disappear?
Lost to time
Silent and dead.

They also loved
And they also tried
Giving up everything
Just so others could survive.

We remember the killers
And we remember the damned
Spreading fear and death
With demons and cults.

A man can buy history
And show it with pride
But a man of honor
Can never be possessed.

The secrets will be exposed
Both the good and the bad
But the greatest of surprises
Are the ones
We knew all along.

I am the hidden
And I am a mystery
A man living in a bubble
And a messenger
Of words.

Be careful to ask
And be careful to think
Because emotions are volatile
And the consequences are forever.

The world may tell you
That you are worthless
And people may say
That you have no use.

But for those who stand
And for those who risk
There are greater things
Than crowns or titles.

Because there is a glory
That no man can bestow
Or measure
A kingdom without secrets, lies,
Or pride.

It is this citizenship
That I wish to earn
Something that will last Long after
This too
Is gone.

So play the song slowly
For those long dead
For they know what we lack
And see
What we hide.

If words can make a difference
Then God, let me write the truth
Using this mouth and these hands
To spread the truth and the glory
Your words and not mine.

The Passage

The Secret Passage 2/28/2012

I can’t speak for others
But I can speak for myself
Letting the words flow
And living them out.

I will not make any apologies
For who I am
And I will not be ashamed
For what I believe.

We all make our choices
And we all must pay the price
Even though we were warned
And stuck our heads in the sand.

But even though I have lost
I know that I have loved
And even though I suffer
I shall have it back again.

For the worst of men
Never knew love
Raised with hatred and contempt
They poison the world
With tyranny and bloodshed.

They will be the predators
Always looking to kill
Steal and possess
Or anything to assauge
Their deep seated self loathing.

But they will never overpower
Those who will protect
As humble as they are great
And as good as they are strong.

No amount of possessions
And no amount of words
Can ever make them whole
Or fill the emptiness
Inside.

There are worse things than words
And many have slept in the dust
But a word to the wise
Can save us from extinction.

To embrace life
And love the innocent
Is the greatest gift
Far better than conquering the world
Or exalted titles.

I know how it feels
To give and to know
And this makes me worthy
Indomitable
And complete.

Black Blanket

Black Blanket 2/27/2012

It is past midnight
But long before
The sun shall rise
The bewitching hours
That always come
In the deepest, darkest black.

This is the time for accidents
And this is the time for murder
When so many have fallen
Into endless sleep.

Afraid of the sun
And the cruelty of life
They have pulled up the black blanket
And shut their eyes forever.

Crawling into the deep abyss
And sinking into
A deep black hole
Just before the spring
And just before the sun.

The morning brings reality
And the rays of the sun
Shed light upon our secrets
Exposing our desperation
And chasing all the shadows.

Once I hated the days
And I sought to avoid them
Sleeping them away
In drunken delirium.

But there are thoughts
No one can avoid
And there is no hiding place
Too deep to find.

I was angry
And I was sad
More fascinated with death
Than I was with life.

I wanted to destroy
And I wanted to forget
Breaking through the walls
And kicking down the doors.

Glass sparkles in the night
Shattered into a million pieces
Reflecting the strobe lights
Red and blue.

I wanted to stay there forever
And stare into red neon
Glowing forever
And pulsating.

The music echoing
Inside of my head
Turning over and over in my mind
So I didn’t have to think
And I didn’t have to feel.

But that was the night
The night before I knew
My desperation giving way
To a whole new
Sense of self.

I have opened my eyes
To the smallest of pleasures
Just in time to realize
That love can survive.

The bewitching hour is here
But it doesn’t last forever
Daybreak shall come
To those willing to ask
And endure.

The Invisible Man

The Invisible Man 2/24/2012

What would we say
If we could see it now
The cause and the proof
Written across the sky.

Hung above our heads
Unmistakable and clear
In huge letters
Spelled out
So that everyone knew.

If we could see our worth
And the value of our spirit
Would we be any different
Or any braver.

If we could see the dead
And they could speak
What would they say
And how would we feel?

Looking backwards across time
Without fear or dread
With nothing to lose
And nothing to gain.

God made it clear
And God made it easy
But still we look away
And never want to hear.

We are supposed to live boldly
And we are supposed to be brave
But most only think
And most only hide.

But what of the fear
And what of the loss
Pride and all that goes with it
Like the vanity of the weak.

My father was a good man
And he was there every day
His life and his actions
More than words can describe.

His words are in my heart
And his strength flows in me
Greater than imaginary dreams
The inspiration made manifest.

Though we are weighed down
And carry heavy burdens
For those who persevere
They shall see the truth.

Though we fly under the radar
And seldom see a reward
The truth endures
And lasts forever.

Even though we cannot see it
We are known and understood
Unsung by man
But always remembered
In blood and bones.

I have not given up
No matter the cost
Proof enough of life
Invisible but real.

No matter what is said
And no matter what is done
Someday it is coming
The truth and the light.

Though the good may fall
And the innocent bleed
They will live forever
Eternally justified.

Double Vision

Double vision 2/23/2012

I know some secrets
But no one knows them all
Because there is always more
That what you see
And what you hear.

Tiny bits and pieces
Each one ignorant of the other
As one hand shows itself
While the other hides.

A shell game of numbers
Hides the hidden hand
The one that ties it all together
Past, present, and future.

A puzzle with a million pieces
That all have the same color
Because each and every compartment
Operates in the dark.

The truth is there
But only in fractions
With all the lines blurred
Between right and wrong.

Many men see
And many men hear
But our eyes and ears
Are clouded by emotions.

We view the world
Through a prism
Focusing on only
What we already believe.

The truth can disappoint
And the truth can hurt
But in truth there is growth
And the good never hide.

No man is perfect
But what is there to fear?
Because what can ever happen
That hasn’t already
Cut us deeply.

We are dying
Slowly, but surely
But our legacy
Can only be as great
As our hearts reveal.

Progress can never be made
If you can’t see the problem
And no problem can be fixed
If you can’t say what it is.

Men with hidden motives
Will never tell the truth
Because they hate what they see
And only want to destroy.

If one man’s burden
Is another man’s joy
Then we are divided
And doomed.

Upside down and twisted
By a double standard
With obstacles and accusations
Placed in our path.

The only demons they see
Are the ones in their heart
Blinded by the hatred
And lost in the dark.

The dragon has swallowed his tail
And the earth dangles in death
Half dead and half alive
And waiting to be born.

Generation Zero

Generation Zero 2/21/2012

This isn’t my century
And this isn’t my dream
I guess that’s why it hurts
And never seems to end.

Out of place
And out of time
Running on empty
And dead on arrival.

I am neither the last of the first
Nor the first of the last
A man without a generation
None of the above or neither.

But it is better
That I know it
Than if I pretended
And it’s better that I understand it
Than if I never knew.

I never belonged here
But that doesn’t make me
Any better
Or any worse
Just a little different
And out of place.

Off the rails
And melting the tracks
Metal on metal
And flesh on pavement.

A super destroyer
That only kills himself
Just wasting away again
On the highroad to hell.

If you can’t see the truth
About yourself
Then nothing else will matter
Because the details of another
Can’t save us then.

You can’t blame others
If they never knew at all
Just fools fumbling in the dark
And only fooling themselves.

And even suffering is not the worst
Because it only hurts for awhile
And nothing beats eternity
When we have lived it well.

Cannonball

Cannonball 2/17/2012

It’s no fun to drink alone
And it’s no fun
To lay awake in the night
Unable to forget
Who you are
And where you are going.

Cut loose to drift
Without any safety net
With ragged sails
And a leaky hull.

Eventually even the whiskey
Loses its effect
And you hang in delirium
Unable to go on.

Staring into the endless horizon
You can see your whole life
And watch it come unraveled
Leading you to a place
No man, should ever go.

In the blackest night
On the blackest ocean
Without hope
Or reason.

On a ship of ghosts
Lost in the endless ocean
Slowly rotting away
And creaking.

The numberless ripples
Merge with my visions
Coming and going in my mind
As the waves endlessly lap
And dull my senses.

For none of us
Ever dares to think
That we could be, left behind
Without provision or guidance
To sink in the deep.

At the mercy of the winds
As they circulate the heavens
Pulling and pushing us
Far from home.

So this is the life
And this is how, it feels
A dead ender
In the middle of nowhere.

So it’s as good a time as any
To scavenge on the sea
Finding someone else to board
And take back
What we lost.

Clear the decks
Because the ship of ghosts is coming
Shooting fire
With canister shot and shell.

Run away
If there is a place to go
Because we don’t believe
In happy endings
Or second chances.

I am thirsty
And I am hungry
More dead than alive
Merciless
And vengeful.

For an end in madness
Is closer than you think
Only as far as circumstance
And wrath.

One minute after two

One Minute After Two 2/16/2012

One minute after two
And two hours past noon
One moment
In an otherwise average day.

All of your life
May come down to a moment
And all of our countless mistakes
Can be forgiven at once.

That I could live at all
Is against the odds
But that I could survive
Is from the grace of God.

I may suffer
But so also have others
Giving their all
For nothing.

But for each man who asks
There shall come a test
A season of want
And a burden to bear.

These are the moments
That seem to last forever
And they can be so very heavy
And just too much to bear.

But we make it through
And then we learn
That our lives may not be unique
But our experience
Is one of a kind.

A strange set of circumstances
Intended or unintended
That converge in our lives
Just as senseless
As they are painful.

I know what it feels like
To want and to pray
Trying with all your heart
And still coming up empty.

I try to smile
Or just remain silent
Holding my head high
Even though it will not matter
Eyes level and unflinching.

But these are the moments
That are more than just trials
And more than a test
But also a chance
And an opportunity.

A chance to make a choice
And a chance to be truly great
To rise higher
And give glory.

Becoming stronger
And growing larger
No matter how we feel
And no matter how it hurts.

Nothing is over
And it is never too late
Because everything is changing
And evolving at once.

Another moment comes
And another opportunity arises
Another chance to decide
Compare, and contrast.

What is wrong is wrong
And nothing can ever make it right
But in the here and now
I can be the difference
Larger and stronger.

Another battle
That I can emerge from
Undefeated
And smiling.

God is alive
And God also knows
Remembering every prayer
And knowing every secret.

Exit Wounds

Exit Wounds 2/14/2012

We all have feelings
And we all suffer pain
But not all shall go quietly
And not all shall fade away.

I know what it feels like
To seek eternal slumber
And pull the covers over
To forget about the day.

To know the pointless desperation
Of another wasted day
Unwilling to pretend another moment
That I ever cared at all.

I remember the blackness
And I remember the hole
That place of dark comfort
Away from the world.

It was there that I gave up
And retreated into myself
Without anymore love
And without any more pain.

But it was there
That I had to decide
Whether it be the end
Or another beginning.

To either die
Or live
And either give up
Or rise again.

There are always reasons
And there are always obstacles
With enough justification
To either stay or leave.

But in the end
It’s not about me
And everything I do
Effects everyone else.

My feelings are transient
And the suffering an illusion
Nothing but the death throes
Of a false sense of self.

We all feel sick
And we all want love
But what we need
Is something authentic
And more meaningful
Than dreams.

Any man can escape
But all men must pay the price
Sooner or later accountable
For every single debt.

Any man can cry foul
And any man can run away
But in the end
We either stand up
Or hide.

Staring into the setting sun
I said Damn the world
My face set like stone
And my eyes burning with rage.

I took a swig of whiskey
And broke the bottle on the patio
Just wanting to do something unequivocal
And something real.

I was looking for something
Something undeniable
Something that could not be argued
And not be analyzed.

Something that no one could manufacture
Or label
An undisputed measurement
Of who I really am.

Because that is what we do
We argue and we limit
Qualifying every belief
And compromising every inspiration.

Critiquing the lives of others
And defending the indefensible
While the cities burn
And the world is lost.

I consumed all I could
And I hardened my heart
Willing to kill
And ready to die.

I drank with the devil
And gambled with a demon
Screaming bloody words
Into a great white void.

But I didn’t find what I wanted
And no man can burn the world
Without burning himself
And dying in the flames.

Reduced to the terrors
And burning up with fever
Chilled to the bone
And crying out in pain.

Maybe they looked at me and wondered
And maybe they laughed at my loss
But I am larger than I was
And twice as determined.

As for me
I have made my decision
To take up my life
And live it truly again.

People are not options
And life isn’t multiple choice
Because nothing is more noble
Than to stand
And see it through.

The Bleeding Edge

The Bleeding Edge 2/10/2012

Sometimes you get what you want
And sometimes you don’t
But the older I get
The more I wonder
Which is better
And which is worse.

Even the most innocent are taken
And even the most guilty prosper
But faith has its own rewards
As mysterious as the deeps.

For those who have lived
And held the hands of the dying
Knowing how much it’s worth
For they pray for eternity
And can feel what it means.

What I never thought possible
Has happened
And all the eggs in my basket
Have all but disappeared.

I wish I could understand it
And I wish I could explain it
But there will always be things
That are senseless
And dumb.

The journey is the truth
And the truth is at the end
A pursuit and not a destination
Both a beginning and a solution.

To know joy is to gallop
With the wind in your hair
Over and under
And around
Full of spirit and fire.

To stretch out your heart
And take on the risks
Even though you are afraid
And have nothing left to save.

Yes the worst can happen
And catch us without warning
But so also can love
And so also can grace.

The burning edge travels
And drags hell with it
Bringing it into our hearts
To bleed us away.

But either way
Here we are
Linked together by words
Traveling the world
With invisible wings.

It is as good a time as any
To know who we are
To grab hold of our highest calling
And never let go.

Join me in the fray
Because life is for the living
And far better it is
If lived in the open.

There is nothing left worth fearing
Because life will happen
Ready or not
So we might as well be happy
And laugh along the way.

Tonight could be the greatest
Or tomorrow could be the end
But it is not ours to measure
Or our right to wager
What will or what may.

Ride along with me
Fearless and free
Because there is little left to keep
But so much to give away.

Depreciation

Depreciation 2/8/2012

If I lived it once
Than I shall say it again
That I had a great future
That is all behind me now.

Like so many others
And like so many dreams
We are cut off midstride
And crushed before we start.

A senseless world
Is an accident of fate
An evil influence
On unsuspecting minds.

Working its way in
And crawling into our minds
Like a parasite
Draining all our blood
And skewing our ideas.

We all want love
And we all want to belong
So we all fall into line
Meekly accepting our beliefs
From liars and frauds.

Not many grow to question
The man behind the curtain
Investigating their true motivations
And all the implications.

Distracted by the shiny objects
Dangled in our face
As the hand behind us
Draws a sharpened knife.

No one wants to be accused
As we see others attacked
So we hide behind the acceptable
And wait.

Fear is the enemy
And silence is death
Because without deliberate truth
We forfeit the future
We should have had.

A static world
Incrementally degrades
Devolving into a chaos
That accepts tyranny
And death.

For any great treasure
And any great privilege
Unappreciated and unattended
Withers and fades away.

Wasted, looted, and destroyed
Have been the greatest of wonders
Lost, forgotten and buried
In the inevitable sands of time.

So also am I
As I was walking in my sleep
Deluded into complacency
By my own easy comfort.

But a new day is here
And it has never been more clear
That to speak is necessary
And to act a necessity.

Vengeance

Vengeance 2/6/2012

Life and vengeance
Can be what we make them
Sweet as honey
When done with a smile.

It can be the truth
Forced down a liars throat
Or just desserts for the guilty
Poetic enough to immortallize
And pass down through the ages

It is the ability to maintain composure
Even when taunted and ridiculed
Surrounded by enemies
And attacked from behind.

The act of getting up
And going to bed
Patient through the endless days
That painfully stretch out
From here to Armageddon.

Putting one foot
In front of the other
And weathering the storm
With as much dignity and honor
As you can lift.

To smile when wounded
And stand when crushed
Holding your head high
Even when you are betrayed
And want to die.

All who have really lived
Know what it feels like
To be cut off unjustly
And left to bleed out.

But only the good
Shall come to know
And maybe even understand
What it means to triumph
Even in loss
And even with nothing.

To lose and remain undefeated
And bear the heavy burdens
Finishing what you started
Even though it hurts.

We are more than we appear
And every man has a killer inside
A cold dark place
That cries out for release.

Beaten down
And repeatedly denied
Screaming for blood
And begging for satisfaction.

That is the test
And that is the question
A decision for the wise
When, where and how.

Because someday
All this must end
The good and the bad
Settled at last.

To clarify the doubt
And pay off all the debts
Balancing the horror
With punishment.

We are marked
By our suffering
But even this too
Shall all pass away.

Because we suffer
Not only for our sins
But the sins of others
The good held up
And cut down to pieces.

It is time to be unbreakable
And it is time to inventory the soul
Searching out what is wrong
And making it right.

Time to confront evil
And stare it down
Unflinchingly
And without apology.

To make the tough choices
And do what it takes
Before the worst comes
And it is too late.

Bait and Switch

Bait and Switch

Diversion 1/3/2012

Cold is the silent death
That lurks beneath eternal ice
Frozen since before we knew
Under pressure and ready to blow.

Every man has secrets
And every man has a skeleton
Haunting the places
That he dare not go.

If we knew all
Could we face the day
And if we got what we deserve
Would we be here at all.

We search and we search
But never seem to find
When we should have known all along
And trusted in the truth.

We have gone far from here
And found many hiding places
But nobody knows for sure
What remains deep and buried.

We reach out to the heavens
And dig deep into the earth
But we still cannot weigh the spirit
Or measure the human soul.

But we have seen enough
Enough that we should know
But still we doubt
And still we ridicule.

We hedge our bets
And conveniently forget
Covering up the truth
Beneath the dust of time.

It is wise to be careful
And not be deceived
Because the biggest lie is coming
Leading us off a cliff.

They tell us to look through
The eyes of others
But neglect to see the truth
That the time has come
To see for ourselves.

A man must think of the future
And he must protect his children
Because the hatred and the horror
Is as real, as it can get.

A half a truth cannot save us
And half a life is not enough
Before the truth is hidden
And our future frozen solid.

A frozen lake is in our hearts
But life still lives below
Hiding the secrets
Where our eyes can’t see
Crouching in the darkness
The proof we cannot see.

When they say look up
Then you had better look down
Because behind your back
They have turned it all around.

Beware the discoveries
And beware the claims
For nothing is impossible
But all things are suspect.

If nothing else
Let us read the words
Of those we follow
Because the truth is there
If you want to see.

The void calls
And it is easy to fall
Off the cliff
And down the river
Like buffaloe for eating
And diamonds in the dirt.

Moonlight Madness

Moondust 2/2/2012


The moon is full of ghosts
Hiding during the day
And glowing in the night
Hiding secrets that no one knows
And pulling at the oceans
To cause the ebb and flow.

There are hidden places
And there are hidden motives
Hidden in plain sight
Dark and mysterious.

Silvered angel hair
Covers the ground
And all the possibilities of time
Converge in my brain.

For it is there
That the battle has raged
Long before I understood
And long before I knew.

From the deepest thoughts
To flights of fancy
My ideas have led to emotions
And emotions to action.

We are both connected
And disconnected
Separated from birth
But sharing a universal heart.

God has called us
But he does not force us
Because it is the choice
That makes all the difference
Between the one and another.

There can be no good
Without evil
And there can be no forgiveness
Without sin.

The souls of men have flown away
And reside in the secret places
Hidden from our eyes
But not beyond our touch.

The ancients knew
And they tried to tell us
But history is lost
By deception and feelings.

A cornered beast fights hard
And the decisive times have come
When there is no longer time to choose
Which side you are on.

The haunting moon knows
And speaks of the ages
Guiding me in dreams
To many forgotten places.

There is more than one kind of madness
And the truth is more shocking
Than what we can guess
Both for the good
And the bad.

But God has given us the message
And the Lord has given us the key
By flesh and blood
The passage to eternity.

Defiance

Defiance 2/1/2012

Took a long wordless walk
Just to think
And absorb the feeling
Back past the old haunts
Of concrete, steel and glass.

A lot has happened
And a lot has changed
Because I am not the same
And never will be again.

Gone is the man
Who woke up with a plan
And gone is the youth
Who woke up and cared.

That man full of passion
Who thought well of himself
Who dreamed about small things
And lived in his emotions.

He was a slave
Enslaved by the world
Without even knowing it
And lashing out irrationally.

Angry at all the indifference
And resentful of the smallest slights
Wasting all his energy
On useless argument.

Depending on others
To worry about the obligations
Because he was too busy
Wasting all his treasure.

Bored by the details
And lost in himself
Always looking to escape
And avoid all the pain.

Now I am different
And now I don’t care
Neither above nor below
But beyond.

Beyond the reach of angst
And numb to the cold
Unimpressed by their ambitions
And turned off by their pride.

The neglected buildings
Crumble and fall
Dripping rusting pieces
Onto the sidewalk.

Eventually they will disappear
And be replaced by the new
Fake glass monuments
That were only built
To sink.

It can take a long time
To truly know thyself
Coldly assessing all the damage
And connecting all the dots.

But it takes more
Than knowing how we fail
Because without renewal
Or learning
We just do it
All over again.

I had to lock away my heart
In order to keep it
And I had to kill all my pride
In order to survive.

You can never grow
If you never learn the truth
Not only the good
But also the bad.

Taking the slow and deliberate steps
To live in reality
And appreciating every moment
Of friendship and love.

Stepping off the treadmill
And forgetting the grid
Leading by following
And understanding the difference.

It is not about
Having every answer
And its not about
Winning every point.

It’s about making the effort
And never giving up
Knowing how to give
And knowing who to ask.