Tactile

 Tactile                                   4/28/2016

We mark time

And celebrate its passage

A flattened point on a ruler  

Stretched out

And into space. 

We walk the journey

The same in the beginning

As it is in the end

Coming and going

From darkness to light.

Randomly selected

But carefully planned

Conceived at an intersection

Known in advance. 

The past is brought forward

And remembered in the cells

The secrets of our fathers

Buried in the past. 

It took the longest time

For me to understand

That far more is hidden

Than we can ever see.   

And it took suffering

For me to appreciate

Peace without forgiveness

And contentment

Without victory. 

There is an answer

But it does not come

Through effort or words

Only apparent

When fully immersed.

No longer troubled

Over nothing

And no longer a prisoner

Of my emotions.

We will live

Even if the world dies

As we take our place

Where we always belonged.

The pain will be forgotten

And our enemies

Disappeared

Unremembered

And unhonored. 

My skin is electric

And a shiver

Goes up my spine

As I sense not only horror

But victory

Final and complete. 

Emulsion

Emulsion                             4/26/2016

I was born

At the beginning

Of an ending

A brief emulsion of light

Hidden in the dark. 

A spark was given

That I could not have deserved

A gift of eternity

Breathed into my soul. 

The world suffocates

And the world gives weight

The kind pulling us down

Deep in the dirt. 

The call of death is strong

But the light

Will always be stronger

Driving us on

The long way around. 

The cost is great

And so also, we have failed

Rolling over

Asleep in a day dream. 

I did not even know

And now, I know even less

Empty but for the certainty

That life conquers death. 

I was protected

In the dark

As my bones grew together

Incubating in the safety

Far away from here. 

But time waits for no one

And it did not wait for me

As the protective layers

Dissolved

And all melted away. 

Exposed and wounded

I had to learn to crawl

Long before
I could hold my head up

And walk.

It hurt to lose

But it also hurts to win

Because comfort

Can only teach complacency

And hardship

Only bitterness.    

I could have given up

A million times before

As I drowned in despair

Abandoned and alone. 

I wonder at the before

The time I never knew

Captured in stills

And the lost

Silent films. 

Distant messages

Crying out in space

Farther and farther away

Beautiful and remote. 

More lost

Than known

Once kindled

In a secret slice. 

It will all come back

From the hidden quarter

Felt long before seen

With faith

And longing. 

Life Expectancy

Life Expectancy                                4/26/2016

How long

Can it go on

As we wait for nothing

Shrinking, falling  

And slowly dissolving. 

Tethered to time

And weighed by gravity

Prisoners on a planet

Confined and alone.

Worn down

And haggard

We give in

And we give up.

Drowning ourselves

Just to forget 

All that we had

And all that we lost.

All for a hoax

And all for a lie

The difference between  

Contentment and despair.

But if we must

It’s better to die living

Standing on two feet

Instead of crawling

On four.    

Because many are fools

And many are dumb

Led by the nose

Since the age of five. 

Bread to lie down

And conditioned to obey

Undefended

And unloved.    

The ghosts

And the vampires

Sleep on the moon

Hidden on the dark side

Cold and remote. 

They wait also

To fly in the shadows

Swooping down

With dripping mouths.

Bright red

And deepest purple

The lost memories

Circling our heads. 

Always present

And forever haunting

The irretrievable loss

Sudden and sharp. 

Stolen, wasted

Dumb and deaf

One dimensional images

Lost to time. 

Given for a moment

And then erased away

The glimpse of beauty

Captured in amber. 

Let it all unravel

And let it all blow away

The incalculable loss

Of centuries of love. 

Spread it out

Across the gulags

Where dreams go to die

Built by acquiescence

And preserved with neglect. 

The dying began

And now it snowballs

Just like they wanted

Hopeless and discouraged.

Sold out, betrayed

And mocked at will  

They laugh as they kill us

You, him, and me. 

It was written

And now it is done

As the few grow fewer

And blood runs thick. 

The powerful

Want sheep

And the hateful

Want death. 

The elect chased down

And hunted for sport

Betrayed by their fathers

And murdered by the sons.

Some will perish

But some will survive

All joined together

At the perfect

Place and time.

Intersection

 Intersection                  4/22/2016

You can always hit the gas

But if you have done it blind

You will never again

Crippled, lucky, or dead.

No pain killer

Can stop it

The lethal nexus of will

And intent

Suffocating the good

One drop at a time.

Like I said before

There are no accidents

Neither in life

Or Russian Roulette

One in the chamber

Or one in your head.

Once it was a trickle

But now it’s a flood

All of it on purpose

Cruel, hateful and dumb.

God gave us a brain

But it’s a shame

We do not use it

Lukewarm and dull

Fearful, meek and bland.

Giving in

And giving up

We slowly kill ourselves

When all we ever had to do

Was say no. 

He said to turn your cheek

But never to stretch out your neck

As we mildly roll over

Cough twice and die.

Exposing our children

To every kind of horror

A monstrous red terror

Guaranteed to spread.

Afraid of words

And afraid of reputation

In a world turned upside down

Dying and doomed.

See them smile

And see them laugh

Mocking the honest

And insulting the good. 

Calling evil good

And good evil

The powerful bought

And the fearful

Threatened.

Ever bolder

And ever more brazen

As the clock dwindles down

Half passed midnight. 

Beware the desperate

And beware the evil

Far worse than you can imagine

And breathing down our neck.

For many a man

Has betrayed himself

By doubting the obvious

From below

And behind. 

Whatever may happen

Know this for sure

That evil men knew

Vain, hateful,

Jealous, and cruel. 

Time and Place

Time and Place                    4/21/2016

Another day is wasted

Thinking of nothing at all

Distracted ten different directions

Just skimming the surface

And ripe for a fall.

Desperate people

Do desperate things

Sunken down into depression

And killing themselves.

You can do it fast

Or you can do it slow

Just by giving up

And going with the flow. 

We try hard to keep going

But sometimes we fail

Flipping over backwards

And chasing our tails.

I drank it all away

Until I could take no more

Eating out my stomach

Naked on the floor. 

How many suffer

Right here and right now

Alone in their rooms

Too tired to care.  

Slurring their words

And veering off the walk

Afraid of the sunlight

And ashamed of themselves.  

The horror will haunt you

If you have seen it yourself

The sour taste of regret

Eating at your soul.

Yes I was foolish  

But I was also angry

Giving in to my emotions

For no reason at all. 

Blind to the consequences

Of each and every decision

Sleep walking off a cliff

Dead to the world. 

The ghosts are coming

But first they fill our heads

Whispering in our thoughts

Doubt, regret, and fear. 

One life mirrors the whole

And the whole reflects our fate

Teetering on false hope

And genuine terror. 

True enemies

Always come in false friends

Beware now more than ever

Date, name, and place.