Antimatter

Antimatter    9/25/2015

The ghosts are whispering

On the dark side of the moon

Spilling secrets long forgotten

And never understood.

They alone

Know and understand

What it feels like to lose

And what it feels like

To fly. 

Neither above nor below

But apart

They mingle in my dreams

Forever beautiful

And eternal. 

There is so much more

Than what we see

And no one is ever alone

Outside the glass.

I have cut myself enough,

To know how it feels

And I have bled numberless words

Into the great wide open.

Crawling through the white space

And going where I cannot

Messages and feelings

Angst and love. 

In the space above

There is a cold black silence

Unknowable

And unsearchable.

Stretchable

Collapsible

Endless

And free.

We sleep for now

And in our sleep we dream

Flying into and out of,

Everything hidden

And dark. 

The known is nothing

But the unknown is everything

Invisible and everlasting

True, just, and eternal. 

The kingdom comes

Just past midnight

When the last fools sleeps

And the last ghost awakes.

 

Waxing

Waxing                      9/25/2015

If the world is a stage

Then how are we played

As we watch every rehearsal

Over and over again. 

Wax men and women

Memorized their lines

Predetermined jabs

Back and forth

For entertainment and fun. 

Preplanned and insincere 

The plastic statues gesture

Regurgitating sound bites

At just the right moment. 

They pretend to argue

And they pretend to debate

But all of them are the same

Bought and sold

Dead and dumb.

If someone told the truth

Would we even believe it

Engineered with guilt

And accustomed to fear. 

All eyes would be upon them

Dripping with hatred

Daggers drawn

Behind the curtains.

Pushing levers and blowing smoke

Our eyes follow the screen

Mesmerized by the spectacle

Of excess and narcissism.  

Feel the true hatred

And see from where it comes

Just waiting for the world to tilt

To do what they will. 

Beware when it happens

Once the critical mass is achieved

Stamping out all opposition,

Creativity, and belief.

Woe to him

That lacks the courage

Abandoning the courageous

To die alone. 

And woe to those

Who hide in their wealth

So afraid of losing

That they never live at all.   

Falling Away

Falling Away                            9/24/2015

We who have fallen

Fell upon, our own swords

Willfully choosing

Subservience and death.

Afraid of shadows

And cringing in the dark

Clutching our pearls

And gasping for breath.

No one, made us do it

But we alone

Laid the stones

Paving the road most traveled

On our way to the end.

Who would have ever guessed?

That the good could be so deluded

Believing every lie

And running from truth.

Cowering under the table

And berated just for living

Our voices drowned out

By the loud, the few, 

And the delusional. 

But isn’t that the life

That we, have all been living

Slaves to our emotions

And chained to comfort.

Asleep in our shell

No matter how oppressive

Unwilling to risk

Crawling out

And moving on. 

We make all the wrong changes

And never seem to learn

That love is a choice

And courage our salvation. 

Trusting opportunistic cowards

And willfully piling on 

As they conveniently take pot shots

Hitting every easy target 

Over and over again. 

Wasting our time

And wasting our lives

For who and what reason

We never question at all. 

Pleasing ourselves

And fishing for acceptance

As we confuse miracles for luck

And blessings for debt.

Now the scales fall

And we see the fake gods

Nothing more than men 

Hating the hated 

Deluded, and dead.

At war against discernment

And at odds with the truth

Condemning our grandchildren

To persecution 

And genocide.

 

All of it known 

And all of it predicted

The beginning of an end
Ending in horror
And confusion. 

But even horror must end
And spend itself in flame
Burning all it can
While it can.

But whomever will stand
And whoever shall believe
Will remain
Shinning like the sun
Forever. 

 

 

Nine Two Three

Nine Two Three                                 9/23/2015

With every deadline

There is an extension

But, with every payment

There is also interest

And blood. 

Extracted over time

We keep on swimming

Just enough to keep us going

And feeding at the trough.

But finality always comes

With sacrifice and perseverance

As we endure to the end

Empty and gray.

Others have seemingly escaped

Floating above on the backs of others

Always getting out

Ahead of storm. 

But there time is coming

Because, they are also prisoners

Bound inside the loop

Of life, judgment and death.

Locked in a quarantined universe

We are as fish in a fishbowl

Killing or being killed

And fighting over food.

Inches away we are observed

But yet we know not

Thinking that we alone

Make the food

And dirty the water.

Arrogance, control,

Hatred, and greed

All of it culminates

At the gates of hell.

The walls we love

Are about to break

But who of us is ready?

To truly know and understand.

Now is the moment

To take the leap

Flinging ourselves upwards

And ask.

For we are not fish

And this is not the end

But only if we trust

He is who fishes.

Break the glass

And take the risk

Calling out his name

Right here

And right now. 

The wait

The Wait            9/21/2015

Come think of this

And come think of me

The one you used to know

So full of life

And free. 

Before I knew

And before I was aware

A lot less self-conscious

Unafraid and chaotic.

Back then

It was others

Who worried about me

But now it is I who worry

About everyone

And everything. 

Cut off and cut out

Deeply wounded

And alone

Falling and falling

Inside of myself.

I cried out

But no one heard

Unable to stop the bleeding
Inside or out.

Birth and death

Abandonment and grief

Cut to pieces

And traded away.

My sense of self shattered

And all faith in man destroyed

Cut off in the middle

And left out to die. 

Split into two

The before and the after

A man inside himself

Struggling against his brother. 

The fools may win

But in the end

They always die

Starving themselves

Out of stupidity and pride. 

The trip wire is sprung

And all the fixers plot

Working against the truth

Just as they always have. 

Either way

It will not be easy

But either way

We are awake

And we are ready. 

The seed cannot grow

Until it dies

And love cannot conquer

Until it bleeds.

Ten times more

And ten thousand times stronger

The quiet man

Awakened at last. 

Once Hidden

Once hidden                   9/18/2015

Far away from here

I was formed in the dark

Tethered to my mother

And floating in space.

Secluded and protected

Hidden and warm

Conceived in a rhythm

Incubated, and fed.

Alone and yet together

We are a miracle

And a mystery

Fully known and understood

By God and God alone.

When I didn’t know

I knew in my heart

Growing in a cocoon

And insulated from chaos.

Even then you knew me

And even then you saw

The future stretched out on a line

The beginning, the middle

And the end.

In that moment

All was possible

And all was good

Before I had ever tired

And failed. 

But, the impurities were there

Woven into to our DNA

Long since stained

And corrupted.

Looking backwards I see

But looking forwards I am blind

Trying and striving

Against myself.   

Lurking behind

Or around a corner

Evil has come

And laughed.

But you have saved me

And you save me still

Even when I do not know

And even when I gave up.

I strive again today

But only because of you

Against all the odds of eternity

Here I am

And here are you.