Ending the Game

Ending the Game 3/6/2012

If you know where I am heading
Then you can guess, where I have been
Riding on a long black train
Straight through the mouth of hell.

I could try and explain
But it would just come out wrong
Because I don’t believe in excuses
And I am already justified.

I have been waiting
Waiting for the longest time
My hand itching
And my heart racing.

Suffering the varied misfortunes
That make up this life
Watching everything come unraveled
And wreak havoc in all directions.

Reeling from one disaster to another
Ever since that day
That day I lost my love
And I drowned in despair.

Irish whiskey made it go away
But just for a little while
So I always needed more
Always pulling up the black blanket
To hide my face.

Was it all my fault?
And is that what I deserved?
Thrown away and forgotten
Like I never lived at all.

I see and I know
How others throw fits and tantrums
Anything to get what they want
And anything to get their way.

I see how they lie
And I know what they have done
The incredible cruelty
That makes your blood boil.

They are passionless
And shallow
Empty and dead
Just a bag full of need
That will never be full.

Yeah I have been some places
But I am tired of the game
Tired of throwing myself uphill
And rolling down again.

I have learned some things
And now, I know how it feels
How it feels to lose everything
And be all alone.

Some men burn their bridges
And injure themselves
But It’s just a fucking ploy
That they have done to themselves.

They give up everything
But its only to steal somthing else
Trading their obligations
For door number three.

They want the money
Because that is what they treasure
Because they have no conscience,
No honor, and no soul.

They are the stunted
And they are the childish
Incapable of growth
Unless it serves themselves.

Yes I have seen
And yes I also know
Stiffening my sinews
And calling up the blood.

They will never have enough
So they always look for more
As if I have not suffered
And as if I do not know.

But there are some things about me
That they have never known
And yes I am still standing
And I will eat them whole.

Yes I am a man
And yes I have a heart
Beating stronger than theirs
And twice as large.

Hell has made me stronger
And suffering has tempered my heart
Until I can shake the earth
With words they cannot know.

God is real
And he is alive
Stronger than death
And greater than the world.

The gift is for the asking
But the responsibility is great
Not for the fickle
And not for the meek.

I have learned to be fearless
And I laugh at their hatred
Soaking it up
And burning it away.

I am riding a train
And we are picking up speed
Unstoppable and undeniable
Heavy and hot.

I am coming home
And nothing can stop it now
Because the harder it gets
The more I fight.