Transmutation

Transmutation                                            April 30, 2015


I brushed it on
And rubbed it of
Layering the finish

To recreate the patina

Of centuries of time

Sometimes it works

And sometimes it doesn’t

But the pursuit of beauty

Is often best achieved

When accidental

And imperfect.

Sometimes there is nothing

Except for waiting

For a falling spark of inspiration

To ignite the imagination

And empty out the heart.

 

Loneliness can be painful

And loss, can break your back

But even these things

Can be transmuted

Into something more.

In a strange alchemy
Indescribable and divine
We become something else
Filled with light.

The dam bursts

And the water flows

Sweeping everything away

Obliterating every evil

And emotional obstruction.

We are cleansed of the demons

And now the deception has cleared

Inspired to communicate

What we never knew before. 

No matter, where we have been

And no matter, what we have done

We can still be new

Right here

And right now.

Take even the ashes

And let them settle

Feeding the dirt

And fertilizing the soul.

So that even the burned

Shall blossom

Truly alive

And shining,

Like the sun.  

Immolation

Immolation                                                                          4/28/2015

If you feed the fire

It will burn

Devouring everything

And especially the source. 

What is broken can never be fixed

If you do not tell the truth

And  no one  will never find a mouse

If they cannot see an elephant.

What kind  of person

Can ignore the carnage

Unless they agree

And support. 

Maybe not today

And maybe not tomorrow

But none of us are safe

Form hatred and murder.

Growing up is hard

And humility is a blessing

But some will never understand

And only God knows why. 

Beware the predator

Hiding in the bush

Always looking to attack

Murder, and steal.  

A scavenger at heart

And unable to change

Crawling on its belly

Or hanging from a tree.

The serpent can give you a reason

But in the end

Everyone should know

That what is wrong is still wrong

Just like it always was. 

Wake up and smell the smoke

And get out while you can

Because only a fool keeps doing

What he has always done. 

April 27

April 27

We make lots of plans

But how much of them?

Ever come true

Regardless of what we want

Or think we need. 

The sun was in my eyes that day

And I had to squint to see

Warm, but not hot

In the heavy mountain stillness

Nineteen years ago today.

A day that should have been happy

Was friendless and sad

As I stood thankless and alone

In a chapel 

Hidden in the wood.

He said, that God wanted us there

But except for me 

He might have been the only one

And God keep will keep that secret

Until the end. 

I loved her

More than my own life

But like everything. I ever had

I was born to lose it

Before I could understand.    

It is a strange feeling

Of detachment and melancholy

As the old wounds heal

Thick with tissue. 

I tried to forget

But now, I try to remember

Because that is how I learn

And that is how I grow.

How many gallons of water

Have flowed under this bridge

Meandering through the black dirt

Deep in my heart.

I have no explanation

And I have no proof

Nothing except for the victory

Of the spirit

Over the man.  

I have been angry

And I have been sad

But our lives are not only measured

By what we have done, and  said.    

Sometimes the greatest strength

Was when, we held still

Shutting our mouths

And swallowing our pride. 

It was then

That I stood up

Head held high

Disappointed but undefeated

Smiling at myself. 

Driving home

I felt it

The incredible lightness of my shoulders

As I finally left the anchor

Where it had always belonged.  

I gave my love away

And I do not ask, for it back

Because there is always more

Where I found it

And nothing is lost at all.   

Come up out of guilt

And wake up to the sun

New again

And twice as gold! 

Afterwards

Afterwards    4/23/2015

After the rain

We found sharks teeth

And arrow heads

In another life

And another place.

My father’s boat

Bounced over the waves

Slicing through the white caps

And spritzing me with water. 

I can still hear the engine droning

And smell the fuel

In a land long since abandoned

By surrender and neglect.

I listen to the spirit

And let it guide my words

As I find myself in the middle

Of a very alien world. 

Domestic beer and strawberry shortcake

Crayons and  acrylic paint

The thoughts and memories

Suspended like dust particles

Floating in a beam of light. 

In my mind

Many things have happened

And in my life

I have grasped it all

And watched it melt away.  

The hours pass by

And I remain at my screen

Thinking of impossible things

And endless angst. 

If my hands could create

Even a tenth of what I dreamed

Then I would have eternity

To share and grow. 

It is all saved inside

And it all belongs to God

The gift of love

And laughter. 

He will yet unlock it

And bring back the lost

Healing every wound

Better than before. 

Awake

Awake 4/22/2015

Last night I couldn’t sleep

So I tossed and turned all night

Uncomfortable, itchy

Dreamless, and sad.

The words did not come

And my thoughts disjointed

Jumping from place to place

And from time to time.   

The sun rises

Like a million times before

And I am the same

Another day older

Beaten and worn.    

Others go about their day

Gaming, striving,

Grasping and scheming

Oblivious, shallow,

Foolish and dumb.

Educated but blind

And asleep at the wheel

Much too comfortable,

Judgmental and smug.

Shake me awake

And tell me what it wrong

Before I fall asleep

And escape. 

We run from pain

And avoid conflict

Giving up 

And giving in.    

If only we could open our eyes

Maybe then, we could see 

What it takes to grow 

And conquer.  

 

Stranger

Stranger         4/17/2015

We are accidental strangers

Sharing an impossible chance

A rendezvous against the odds

At just this one moment in time.

Exchanging ideas and emotions

Across invisible threads

Crawling like a spider

Spinning in their web.

We make the connections

And summon the memories

As the spirit shines through

Each and every synapse.

We are all waking up

Form a long slumber

To find strangers in the living room

Eating our food

And drinking our beer.

Shocked, disgusted, and angry

That we could be so betrayed

We stand in the doorway

Frozen in horror.

This castle took time to build

The stones mortared with blood

And endless sacrifice

One block on top of another

Day after day.

Compassion is not suicide

And children cannot defend themselves

Looking to us for a future

Dissolving in front of our eyes.

It’s time to decide

What it is

That we must do

Better now than then

Outnumbered and alone. 

It’s not about me

And what it is I do

But rather about those

Asleep in the womb.