The Warren

The Warren 9/10/2012

Life is a walk down a hall
With doors on either side
And every time you open one
Another one closes.

Doors open and shut
Either by sliding or slamming
As we make our choices
Or as we fall idle
Someone makes them for us.

I could have been anything
But I am just a figurine
Walked down the hall by a giant hand
Laughing all the way.

There was the room
I used to live in
Where I indulged every whim
And was rotten to the core.

But I was tossed out
And the door slammed behind me
Leaving me with worms to eat
With no way out
And no way home.

Trapped in a room with no exit
Leaving me to feel my way
In a darkened room
Full of shadows.

Looking back across the thresholds
I am struck by the contrast
Some of them fortunate
But others full of heartache.

As painful now
As they were then
And I can still feel the ache
And painful desperation.

In one,I am naked on the couch
Strung out and shaking
All alone in a freezing house
And wanting to die.

In another I am with my family
Driving through snow covered mountains
Telling each other stories
And laughing.

In another I am waiting by the door
With a vodka in one hand
And death in the other
Burning with vengeance
And praying to be attacked.

Alone in the heart of darkness
And ready to defend my castle
All that I had left
With less and less and less.

Next I search the ruins
With a flashlight in hand
Inspecting my yesterdays
To salvage and remove.

Next I am here
Sitting at my desk
Unknown and unused
A secret waiting to happen.

A man inside a compartments
With more compartments in his head
Some secret and some public
Just drifting from one to another.

I may leave the room
Or just stay here forever
Because I am the same
No matter where I go
Or who I see.

I am the same as the little boy
Hiding behind his mom
Safely protected by a family
Long ago and far away.

Still the same
But altogether different
Built up by the good
And scarred from the bad
Transformed by wisdom
And saved by grace.