Angel in Black

5/10/2012

Angel in Black

I loved an angel
An angel dressed in black
With fire in her eyes
And acid on her tongue.

We haunted the coffee shops
Book stores and antique markets
Always searching for something
To feed our hungry souls.

There were many perfect moments
And numberless conversations
Leaning across tables
Or lying in bed.

She was my other half
A perfect partner
And a flawless savior
For my perverted mind
And twisted soul.

The steam from the coffee
Curled up in the air
Swirling between our faces
And softening the light.

Her thoughts were my thoughts
And all things were possible
A conspiracy of wit
Of two old souls.

She was like a miracle
Like water from a rock
Food for the soul
And fuel for the fire.

We wrote each other poems
But hers was better than mine
And she memorized every line
Reading from the heart.

I can still hear her voice
In the quiet stillness
Steady, calm and peaceful
In the back of my mind.

I will never forget the last two lines
Forever stuck in my memory
That”no matter what the future brings
I will always Rob love you”.

The words haunt me
But there is nothing I can do
An experience of a different person
In an altogether different time.

No matter how much time passes
I will never leave that place
A perfect moment trapped in amber
Preserved forever
And richer with time.

Looking backwards
The contrast is clear
That I am a different man
With one foot in the present
And another in the grave.

I sleep and I dream
And I awaken to the world
A reality without color
Gray and indistinct.

I am numb to the world
And all my senses are dulled
Never again as sensitive
And never again as alive.

The future came for us
And brought with it
Highs and lows
Twisting and turning in unexpected directions
And looping over on itself.

We were dragged apart
By circumstances out of control
As thoughts, feelings and actions
Inexplicably interfered.

We still speak
But at a great distance
Separated by a frozen ocean
And agonizing heartbreak.

I have fallen far below
And I am falling still
With only memories for comfort
And no faith in man.

My arms have found a handhold
But climbing back, takes forever
When you are gravely wounded
And twice as old.

I still don’t know the future
And death is a one way hole
But better it must be
Than life dead and cold.

That is where my heart is
In the unknown places
A deep and dark mystery
Collapsing inwards.

If heaven awaits
Then that is where I’ll know
The answers to these questions
And the peace of God.

A place for kindred spirits
Co mingled into one
Without a beginning or an ending
First, last, and forever.