Concrete Canyon

Concrete Canyon 11/2/2011

Sitting in a concret canyon
There is plenty of time to think
As I grind back and forth
On the asphalt
Wasted away.

I remember all the different places
And how they have left their mark
The days of safety
Adn the trials of horror.

I slept in an old mansion
And time stood still
Soaking in the claw foot tub
And playing games in the parlor.

Even a day there
Nourished the spirit
Restoring my blood
And feeding my soul.

A place and a time
That seems far away
And another life
Dead and gone.

Getting married
And holding my daughter
The luckiest man in the world
But with my mind tied up in knots
I was never able to enjoy it.

With everything to live for
And full of unexpected gifts
Learning and growing
But cut down through the middle.

Next I am driving in my car
With a bottle of whiskey
Between my legs
And painting poems
On my jacket.

Trying to escape
In any way I could
Anything to numbe the pain
That followed me
Everywhere I went.

I also remember
The sleepless nights
Without power or heat
All alone
And wanting to die.

Life runs down many roads
Full of infinite outcomes
Until we come to a decision
And split off into a choice.

In that moment
We miss the other exits
And they grow smaller in the distance
Farther and farther away.

A fork in the road comes
And sometimes there are hazards
Popping up out of nowhere
Without notice or warning.

We have little time to decide
As we speed on through
Hurried by the flow of living
As we crane our necks
To look at the dead.

I was never sure
And I never wanted to decide
So I kept on going
Down the same old road.

The familiar one
That always flattens my tires
And ends in the middle of nowhere
Stranded in a field.

My friends and my lovers
Have spread out to different places
And I have watched them
Fall and get up again.

But some now sleep
In silent meadows
At peace forever
And free.

But this cloverleaf runs in circles
And we always
End up together again
Just like I knew we would
But never knew how.

The roads we have ridden
Can break us or build us
But to drive them
Is to learn
And to know.

Some wounds leave scars
And some never heal
But I live anyway
And they hurt less and less.

The hills and valleys run
And I brace for the next turn
Old enough to know
And wise enough to laugh.

I shall come back
And so shall the good
Never missing the past
But still living it better.

I shall hold them again
And I shall be held and belong
In the same place I always was
Loved and loving.