Late at night

Late at night 11/30/2011

Embrace the night
Because the day is over
With nothing to fear
And nothing to worry
Because I lightning in my hands.

The night blazes with light
And reverberates with sound
Pulsing in my veins
And heightening my senses.

The colors splash vibrant
Glowing with neon
As an angel with pink hair
Weaves her way over.

I am more alive than ever
And I wish it could last forever
That I could stay in this little world
And never go back.

To stay here
Past the bewitching hour
When the good die
And evil awakens.

I can feel time pass
But it doesn’t bother me
As I drink another round
And think of you.

Tomorrow I’ll drag myself to work
With all of the other lemmings
Cramming ourselves in metal cans
And waiting forever.

I’ll try not to think
As I sleep in the gray
Jerking myself awake
When my stop comes up.

But I have debts to pay
And I am far behind
Without any chance to escape
The endless stream of days.

Like so many others
I wonder about the chances
About all the different lives
I could have lived
And all the loves
I could have had.

If my choices had been better
And I had been wiser
Maybe if I had listened
With my head to the ground.

But I didn’t know
And I didn’t understand
Exactly how much it mattered
To pay attention
And pay the price.

I was just sleep walking
With my brain in neutral
Pushed along by events and people
To a destination
That I never wanted.

To you passer by
This is what I dream
That you would know
And maybe see
That a world without beauty
Is worthless and dying.

We could make it over
If only we would try
Taking a little piece of brilliance
And shooting it
On our day.

To laugh a little more
And live a little bolder
To make a life of richer textures
In any way we can.

We are more than what we do
And each conversation is a treasure
Another opportunity to embrace
And another life to cherish.

The Red Thread

The Red Thread 11/29/2011

An invisible red thread
Weaves through our lives
Connecting us together
Across time and space.

It is long but unbroken
A connection of shared destiny
Whether we know it or not
In and out at different points
But always intertwined.

The tides carry us
And the seasons change us
But even the dead and buried
Remember and know.

Against the impossibility of ages
Here we are again and again
Hitting the same notes
At the same exact time.

We dream and we wonder
Thinking the same thoughts
And imagining the same futures
Irrespective of inclination
Or tradition.

An interwoven commonality
Grows and breathes
Preparing us for something
That only God can know.

Some get married
And some get divorced
Children are born
While others die.

But the thread continues
And all are brought back together
Carefully traced backwards
To the beginning.

Against all the odds of eternity
Here we are
And here I speak
Forming words from thoughts
That come from a place
I have never seen.

The words must mean more
Than just what I see
As they travel outwards
In a trail of blood.

On our way to the heavens
We lean against each other
Learning how to live
As we wait for eternity.

For a reason bigger than me
I have learned from others
Leaving with their love
And their wisdom.

Until we meet again
Our thoughts remain together
Ancient as man
And full of promise.

The Hated

The Hated 11/28/2011

Either you love it
Or you hate it
Because okay
Will never be enough
Not now
Or ever again.

Go ahead
Do what you like
And do what you want
Because it’s all been done before
Unaccredited and unrecorded
But twice as cool.

I am not here
Just to talk
And I am not here
Just to argue.

But I have come
To start something
Something bigger than me
And bigger than words.

I have been cut off
And chopped off at the knees
My heart cut out
From the backside in.

But I am more
Than flesh and blood
And I am still standing
With deadened eyes
And burning wings.

I don’t care if it hurts
And I don’t care how it looks
Because that to, I have seen
And it does not matter in the end.

A real rebel shouldn’t play it safe
And attack the usual targets
But rather he should tell the truth
That will make him the hated.

Others go on
And think they are witty
Ridiculing the good and well intentioned
And excusing all the evil.

They look away
While the good are stabbed
And the innocent beaten
Cowering accomplices
After the fact.

Maybe they are afraid
Or maybe they don’t understand
But I am not of their world
Soulless and dead.

Others act without remorse
And how easily do they destroy
Carelessly selling out the good
For just a few dollars more.

How nonchalantly do they live
And deny the good
Showing their fake smile
Again and again.

They whistle past the grave yard
And drag their own tombs behind
Unaware and dumb
Wasted, deaf and dead.

It is two minutes to midnight
And still they lie
Oblivious to the horror
That was never a surprise.

They see only the visible
And they trust only in themselves
Doing what is right in their own minds
And ignoring the truth all around.

The spirit can’t be seen
And can go anywhere
Formless as smoke
And as strong iron.

It is in me
And with it, I have returned
Rising in a column of fire
Burning brighter than the sun.

I have waited long enough
Because if they don’t do it
Then maybe I will
Ready to die
And willing to kill.

I have rested my eyes
Upon the end
And I have set my face
Into the storm.

Nothing can stop it
And nothing can hold it
Greater than their dreams
And larger than their ambitions.

They can have my head
Because I am not afraid
And the end can come
For all I can care.

I have been here before
And I will be here after
With a fire in my heart
That no man can put out.

I am the shadow
And I am the hated
Hated because of my strength
And hated because I am good.

But they can hate all they want
And they can lie and steal
Turning the tables to their advantage
And counting all their money.

Soon the table shall be turned
And they shall be knocked over
Exposing the gamblers game
And crushing them to death.

The do not know the secret
And they live in their own efforts
Thinking that are clever
For all that they have won.

But I am the secret
And the one they didn’t know
Even though they knew me
They never saw my soul.

Greater than their deeds
And larger than their words
Cutting through every lie
And cleaving them in two.

We know not
Who stands before us
And we know not
Who has begged for help
Never recognizing the good
That we have rejected
And denied.

Yes, I am the hated
And yes, I wear it with honor
With my eyes burning them through
Unafraid
And smiling.

Crowning the Tree and Fingerprints

Crowning the Tree 11/25/2011

We walked around the city square
Looking in the shops
Warm and inviting
Glowing like little jewels
In a field of gray.

The street lights are adorned with Christmas
Just as they should be
Shining brightly in the night
As the music fills my ears.

They have wrapped the trees in lights
And the carolers surround the tree
Towering above our heads
And heavy with stars.

My son babbles wide-eyed
At all the magic he sees
A world full of promise
That has only just begun.

For the moment
We are all one
Living through another memory
Perfect, cool and clear.

Another precious moment
When I have all I could dream
With love all around me
In my arms
And in my heart.


Fingerprints 11/25/2011

Sometimes you have to guess
And sometimes you have a hunch
But there will always be
Somethings that you know
Things you can feel
In your heart and in your blood.

We can feel the excitement
And we can sense the danger
As we inch closer to the edge
And stare down into the abyss.

We can see it on their face
In the subtle signs of truth
Whether they are vain or humble
Arrogant or amused.

You can tell the seasons
By the fruit
And the days by the moon
Marking time with the cycles
Of planting and harvest
Birth and death.

We can drop rocks from a window
And know that they will drop
By weight and mass
They all fall to earth.

The stars move across the heavens
And the navigators trace their movements home
Gazing upwards forever
In the middle of the sea.

Though the world may be gray
And covered with fog
You know where the trail turns
Because you have taken it before.

I am here
And I should know why
Because if I don’t
Then I never learned a thing.

Words can tell a story
But memory tells the truth
And if we want to change
Then we must do it now.

I am on the side of the road
And it is a long walk home
Left out to lighten the load
And forgotten in the dust.

I don’t mind the walk
Because I know where it ends
Closer and closer
To the end.

I know the words
Even before they are said
And I know the reasons
Without having to ask.

It all traces backwards
To the same hand and mouth
The same today as yesterday
Predictable and dead.

The leaves are falling
And so also shall the guilty
After using up all their strength
And running out of grace.

The words still resonate
And the truth still matters
For those with a mind
And a heart of their own.

What has gone up
Shall also come down
And evil men shall perish
Just as they have killed.

Morning has past
And bloodshed
Does not herald a spring
Nothing but the fullness of time
Wearily dragging itself home.

Time shall even out
And make us pay back our debts
To each as he has done
And to each
What they have wrought.

Thankful a poem

Thankful 11/23/2011

It is hard to be thankful
When there is so much to do
And you have fallen backwards
Tumbling down to the bottom
Just to start all over again.

It is enough to make you angry
Because of all the wasted time
And it is hard to see the future
Through the fog of uncertainty.

I have fought against it
But it is as pointless
As throwing yourself against a wall
Breaking yourself, bruised and bloody
Without ever breaking through.

Everything remains the same
Despite the greatest of efforts
Because gravity always holds us back
And the world
Crushes us with its mass.

The worst things continue on
As if no one can even see it
While the good give up
And give in
More and more and more.

But it is wise to learn
Sit back and understand
That while you don’t always win
God will always prevail.

That there is joy and bounty
Family and friends
Room enough for more
Despite loneliness and despair.

That if we survive it once
We can do it again
And that there is nothing left to fear
That we have not already seen
And known.

We have survived
Even in the midst of enemies
And we have happiness
Despite all the loss.

We are the catalyst
And we are the solution
In a hundred thousand places
At the same crack in time.

I am just as ready
As I will ever be
A bridge from thought to action
And a possibility
Waiting to happen.

We can rejoice and be thankful
And do something authentically our own
Not waiting to be told or paid
About someone else’s truth.

Yes evil is real
And yes there are soulless men
But all you have to do is remember
That they will never start a fire
If they don’t even have a spark.

They will never make a difference
And their love will not survive
Because you can’t make something from nothing
And emptiness
Disintegrates with time.

Let us be merry
Even though we lose
And let us laugh
Because we know.

You can be disappointed
Without being discouraged
And you can also lose
But remain undefeated.

The anthem is here
In the words of the passionate
And today is the beginning
Of another beautiful ending.

So pass around
The booze and the food
And we shall talk before fire
As good a day as any
To remember the good
And forget the bad.

Scrimshaw

Scrimshaw 11/18/2011

Men at sea
And men at war
Fashioned art in trenches
And carved messages
On whale bone.

And Monks transcribed scripture
Over many silent centuries
In the depths of darkness
Lonely and secluded.

Some wrote letters
To their families back home
Preserved in memory
Long after they were lost.

There is more than one way
To send a message
And I have gotten a few
Etched into my brain
And burned into memory.

Hidden in caves
And bound into books
The words and lives of the dead
Signed, sealed and forgotten.

Long before we knew
Across endless time
Man yearned to tell
And man yearned to know.

In a cell or in chains
The early Christians wrote
Messages of hope
And words of faith.

As much for the writer
As for the reader
So are heartfelt prayers
A future testimony
Bigger than death.

I too long to know
And I also search for meaning
Trying to capture
A flame in my hands.

Our words make us who we are
And I have read quite a few
Both for the good
And for the bad.

I got them in the night
Intended to mock and frighten
And I guess it’s because I told the truth
But that was all I could do.

I guess they thought I should lie
And be just like them
To suffer and pretend
That it was all my fault.

To cover up for a fraud
Who betrayed every single decency
Texting at funerals
And right in my face.

It took the strength of ten
To not strike them down
But then only because
That is what they wanted.

Vague juvenile threats
Mocking my faith
And gloating
As if love could ever be won
Or lost.

Could anyone think it honorable?
And could anyone think it worthy?
The kind of words that makes you wretch
And force up bile.

Some are indirect
And come form come word of mouth
When they know
Who they will tell.

Trading places and trading faces
And changing names on paper
So you have to see it every day
And know how much you lost.

Sometimes they came in the mail
So I kept them in stacks
Both the kind cards
And the cruel hatred
Just to mock, injure and kill.

Other times it was the call backs
Where they left my name and number
So that I would get messages
And make me feel like trash.

Or an unsolicited e-mail
Selling something you lost
Just a way to destroy
Worse than any death.

But the worst is the false witness
When they blame then on you
Even though you were honest
And never hurt anyone.

I remember letters
And I remember words
From lovers, friends and family
And what each one meant.

She said she knew
That it would end badly
But she just didn't understand
That nothing is ever over
And the end has only begun.

I also have a message
And it is written on the wall
Divided in the sand
Before I even knew.

I may be humble
But my message is strong
Bourne on the wings
Of an iron angel
Spirited and sure.

I do not know how
And I do not know why
But even the broken
Can heal the broken hearted.

Let these words find their home
Let them mean more to them
Than they can for me
A better ending
And a better trust.

Let these words fly
And let them leave a mark
That although the good also die
Truth still reigns.

To send the message
Loud and clear
That we are ready
No matter what shall come
Loyal to the end
Indomitable and true.

Knowing where we are from
And proud of who we are
An ancient legion
Undefeated and alive.

Passing the Torch, Minute by Minute, and 11:17 pm

Passing the torch 11/17/2011

Sometimes we are caught by the sun
And burn brighter than we are
Reflecting concentrated beams
In all directions.

An undeserved gift
Full of mystery
Freely given
In the most unlikely ways
To the most unlikely people.

In every generation
And in just the right amount
The brilliant flames of God
Poured out upon man
In the darkest of night.

Inhabiting a willing heart
The spirit comes to live
A gift too great
To hold in secret
And too precious to waste.

Undeniable
Even in staggering loss
And more valuable than money
The pure nectar of inspiration
For all men to drink.

If we ask
We will be given
And if we are humble
We will be tested.

But the world
Will look different
When we look back
Watered with the blood
And fed with our flesh.

Hardship, loss, and terror
Can try the strongest of men
Tempting us in all directions
And dragging down the mighty.

An endless night has fallen
And some have fallen asleep
Others smug with their money
Pretend not to notice
Because they think that they are safe.

But no amount of money
And no amount of lies
Can change the kind of darkness
That starves the human soul.

It is time for the silent
To wake up their hearts
To see by the light of the fire
And touch eternity.


Minute by minute 11/17/2011

I watched the red tail lights
Has they turned between the trees
Turning left and then right
Out of the neighborhood
And out of my sight.

I always watched
Like the foolish ritual mattered
As if I didn’t watch
Something horrible would happen.

In life things will happen
But not the way we think
Guarding against the predictable
But asleep to the unlikely.

My phone rang
And I noticed the time
Unexpected but full of promise
On a day I’ll never forget.

But wisdom doesn’t always come
In time to save the good
And clarity seldom appears
Until it’s too late.

I did hear the words
And I knew that I was lucky
But who would have thought
Such an unlikely end.

That horror could come creeping
In a crack I never noticed
Worming its way in
Undetected and deadly.

Like a poison in the bloodstream
It traveled unchecked
Killing me slowly
From the inside out.

Persistently probing the perimeter
And lying every day
Leaving no stone unturned
And no tactic unexplored.

Such is the tragedy
The one you never see coming
From an insignificant source
Many of the great have fallen.

So I set them up
And I then I knock them down
Taking shot after shot
And breaking all the bottles
On the patio.

I spray painted
The inside of the my jeep
And I wrote on cocktail napkins
Scrawling out words
About death and dying.

I cut holes in the wall
And I left poems inside
Sealing them up
Where no one could see.

I drank to forget
And I drank to remember
Balling my fists in a rage
And smashing everything around.

Its hard to eat
When food has no taste
And its hard to live
When you can’t see the point.

I was wasted away
And I slept when I could
Crawling inside a deep black hole
Waiting for the nightmare to end.

My thoughts were of horror
And my dreams full of death
Because nothing was ever enough
And I wanted so much more.

I knew that they were watching
But I no longer cared
My life shrinking inwards
As all my hopes disappeared.

The time ticked by
But nothing every changed
As I reeled from the blows
Day after day
And night after night.

I felt no pain
And I felt no joy
Just a ghost
Lip syncing a life.

I wanted to throw everything away
But also keep every memory
Holding on to the shreds
Undisturbed and collecting dust.

I walked from room to room
And the memories crushed me
With every single inch
A story and a hope.

I left her things
Exactly has she touched them last
And I watched as they collected dust
Draining my life away.

Thanksgiving came
And I was all alone
Unable to answer the phone
And laying on the couch.

No one knows
The private horrors of others
And on one can guess
The weight of silence.

Not until you have lived it
Can any man know
What it means to have it all
But nothing of value.

The liquor covered the pain
But only for a little while
And then it always came back
Worse than before.

The past has a grip
That tightens with time
But even the dark night of the soul
Can never kill the good.

Now I see
And I hope someday to feel
Once again the comfort of laughter
And lightning in my hands.

11:17 pm 11/17/2011

At 11:17 the telephone rang
A secret signal
from my lover
Reminding me
That I was remembered.

I was remembered then
And I was remembered later
But now that it is forgotten
I see it even more often
In a thousand countless ways.

We live but once
And the optimism of youth
Fades into desperation
Because time is running out
And possibilities shrink.

When I was young
I will filled with hope
But now my hopes have faded
Until they almost disappear.

I am marked
And no soap can wash it
And I am judged
And no man can change it.

I see the number
And pain replaces the joy
Reducing me a little more
Until I waste away.

If I could only return
To that very first moment
How different I would be
Better than she remembers
The single best version
Of all I could be.

But I cannot return to that moment
And even God must wonder
Why I cannot forget
A single solitary instant
Rolling over and over again.

If I die before the end
Perhaps it will be at 11:17
But I won’t be around to notice
And I won’t wonder or care.

Bury my ashes
And water them with whiskey
Light a single while candle
And simply walk away.

God will bring me back
And then I will understand
Forgiven perfectly
In a way I never could.

The Test

The Test 11/16/2011

There is a flip side to everything
Even in loss, shame, and horror
An opportunity arises
To either grasp at greatness
Or sink into death.

As long as we live
We will never get past it
The endless testing
And the endless strife.

We can fail a thousand times
But then we understand
A miraculous renewal of the mind
Coming from the inside out.

It can take a long time
And nothing makes us immune
From falling down
And learning all over again.

I have lived it through
And once I felt invincible
With everything I ever wanted
And nothing beyond my reach.

But you can’t grasp at eternity
Without suffering and pain
And I flew too close to the sun
Burning myself along the way.

The shame is worse than the loss
And the loss snowballed with time
One thing leading to another
All alone without a handhold
Or love.

But to be rejected is a chance
And to be forgotten a test
An opportunity to hold your head high
And lay hold at greatness.

As long as we live
There will always be sacrifice
And the sacrifice
Shall always be
The first and the best.

Offered up unblemished
In a single shining moment
A perfect payment
For the selfish
And the guilty.

This is the moment
That had been waiting
Since before I knew
And before I was born.

Just waiting for the wisdom
To catch up with time
And for me to understand
The truth in the words.

To know the price
And pay it gladly
And to smile
Even when
I wanted to die.

Evil happens
And when it does
It is all based on a lie
And a price must be paid
One way or another.

The debt is heavy
And the pain is great
Greater than the weak can bear
The shame and the loss.

I am not worthy
Of the sacrifice I have given
But God makes men great
And by his grace
I am strong.

People are quick to judge
And they are quick to run
Because it is easier to blame
Than it is to understand.

Some follow their emotions
And are led by the nose
Following the feed
Without question
And without thought.

But a man should know the difference
And contemplate the truth
Apart from their own comfort
And separate from their greed.

Our pride drives us
And we fall into anger
Missing the greatest of treasures
Just to get our way.

The tails wags the dog
And cuts off the head
Stumbling along
Until we bleed to death.

It shouldn’t be a surprise
Because this is what you get
When we value comfort above honor
And God with ourselves.

Breakfast in Babylon

Breakfast in Babylon 11/14/2011

You can tell by experience
Whether it’s worth it or not
But by the smell of last night’s breakfast
It’s the same as before.

Circling around inside of our heads
Are memories of laughter
And easy smiles
Of beautiful lives
And painless goodbyes.

All men suffer
But not all learn
Because we think ourselves
Into inaction
And fall into
Our own rewards.

You have to be strong
To see the truth
And know that there is no choice
But to fight or die.

Because no theory can replace
The truth we always knew
That we are the hated
And only our strength
Can keep us alive.

You can justify
And you can argue
But no matter what is said.
if you have seen it before
You shall see it again.

The Greeks and the Romans
Have all come and gone
Just like all the ancients
More the same
Than any will admit.

What has come walking backwards
Is the same we saw leaving home.
Nothing much left to chance
If you run
And hide in the sand.

There are some things you guess
But there are some things you know
And I have learned
And now I know.

You see the trees
And how they change
By their color we know the seasons
And by their fruit
We know the truth.

We grow up
And we grow wise
But not every man shall understand
What it means to know.

A man should look at the results
And remember from where it came
Because not everything happens by chance
If you connect all the dots.

All must pay the price
But some pay sooner than others
A perfect sacrifice
Fattened and killed.

I have tracked the numbers
And I have seen
The foot prints
In the snow.

Tracing them back
To the scene of the crime
And matching up the fingerprints
To see where they belong.

The enemy is a false safety
And the political statists
Without courage or conscience
Trading away all our tomorrows
For power and success.

A short term victory
Is but death in the long run
As man seeks self interest
And follows the herd
Off a cliff.

In an absence of heroes
The vain worship themselves
While we stumble backwards
Into Babylon.

Anonymous 11/10/11

I am a secret
Looking across the difference
Between the known
And the invisible.

A man of sad eyes
And a lonely heart
But still standing
With head held high
And trying to smile.

Time drips in a glass
Faster and faster
Into the present
And away from the past.

Adding up
One on top of the other
To the problems
That we have ignored.

The thoughts have changed
And my heart has hardened
Crystallizing memory
Within the wisdom of living.

Growing up and falling down
Just to meet in the middle
As dangerous as they are tempting
The feelings of alienation.

I am separated from the world
And apart from love
Unable to feel the same pleasures
Without regret or pain.

Across a frozen sea
Is everything I remember
All of the people
And all of the love.

But you can’t give up one thing
Without losing something else
And I feel so very alone
And cold.

The tastes are bland
And the colors washed out
Fading into the icy white
Far from the passionate reds
And vivid oranges
All bleached away, and dead.

On the other side
Are my passions
The feelings that I loved
And made me alive.

She told me
That I lived in my emotions
And let them rule my days
But we all have emotions
And sometimes they are folly
Destroying us all.

It isn’t what flashes in our minds
It is what we do that counts
Either we replay the feelings over and over
Until we act
Or we smash them into pieces.

My passions are still present
But I have locked them away
Underneath the ice
Where the water is fresh
And the fish are slow.

If I acted on my feelings
Where would I be
And what horror would I do
Perhaps blood on my face
And blood on my hands.

If I acted out the passions
What wild place would call me
Free from all expectations
And all obligations.

Free to escape
And free to run
Letting all the damage spread out
Behind me.

But that is for the cowards
Who run from the test
Who cannot stand the long run
Giving up for someone else.

What would my children remember
If I had left them alone
Holding the empty bags of lies
And stupid juvenile words.

No that is for the shallow
And that is for the weak
Grabbing on
To whatever is convenient
And running away.

But it takes two
To make decisions
And only one to throw it away
But not that I haven’t learned
And not that I didn’t know.

When we were young
None of us knew
But it was only after I learned
That the suffering came
And I fell from grace.

But even though she may not know
I have stood it well
Learning and growing
From the inside out.

I shall cross the ice
But even if I sink
There are worse things than dying
That is the thing
That only a few will know
And even fewer ever tell.

The crossing is risky
And the crossing is cold
But so is giving up
And so is giving in.

But better it is to try
That it is to wonder
Staring across time
Dead and cold

It could be here
Or the dark side of the moon
A place where the hidden souls flee
And only the brave ever know.



Behind the Curtain 11/10/2011

Look behind the curtain
And you will see
All the strings and levers
Discovering the truth
Behind what they show.

The false idols
And the little gods of fools
The worship of the masses
To the vanity of men.

The arrogance of the powerful
And all their secret hatred
Carefully hidden
But true.

A false flag is rising
And it is a bloody banner
A great and shining lie
To take in the weak
And the fully dependent.

Beware of deception
Because it grows every day
Invading ever crack
And covering every angle.

Guns, bombs and missiles
Are packed up and shipped
But not by who you think
And not for what you know.

To kill the good
And savage the innocent
The apocalyptic results
Of jealous vanity.

Keep your eyes open
Because it is about to happen
But the truth is visible
To those who watch.

A terrible lie
And a great diversion
Anything to win
And anything to steal.

A change is coming
And there is fear all around
Because the line has been crossed
And the sleeping will awake.

Great things will happen
But they are not what they seem
And the wise should never forget
What they know in their heart.

Because good and evil
Have not changed
The same now
Just as they ever were.

There is the way
That we are taught
And then there is the truth
As different as what people may say
Versus what we know.

Man lives in the make believe
And small men skew the truth
Making their art of contempt
But experience is the difference
In the heart and in the mind.

You can argue
And you can fake
But it is the heart that matters more
The truth, the light, and the glory.


Prophecy 11/8/11

It’s not enough
And it’s not okay
To act like everything is fine
When it is not
And it never was.

I am here to speak
And I am here to write
To show
The truth behind the lies
And the lie between the eyes.

It is over and it is finished
And nothing can save it now
The decision made
Irrevocable and absolute.

You can only guess
And you can only wonder
How I could really know
But it is simple as God
Because if one doesn’t do it
Then another one will.

If that is what will happen
Then what can man do
And if there is nothing to fear
Then punishment has no teeth.

You cannot stop truth
And you cannot destroy
What God has made
For who is in me is stronger
And he will wipe the liar away.

Let him run
And let him hide
Under the table
In the dead of night.

Let him message
And let him call
Let him lie
And let him steal
Because he to will suffer
And he will to will die.

Death is coming for all
And with it
Comes the end
Falling forever
In silence.

You have made your bed
And you have pledged your life
All upon a lie
And all upon a fraud.

You have denied the good
And shamed the honest
Now you also
Shall see his end.

The platform is burning
And soon it shall crumble
Falling downwards
All upon itself.

The words have been written
And prophecy spoken
Soon it will come to pass
Just as sure as God predicted
And just as I shall witness.

The cruelty is all coming home
And every word is remembered
The juvenile love
And the self serving fool.

He shall stumble
And he shall fall
Into the trap
That he himself set.

He shall die
Unhonored and unsung
Detested as a worm
And forgotten by all.

The shame shall fall back
And his name erased
Like he never lived
And never knew.

The days of lies are over
Because now they are exposed
The proof I always knew
Laid out for all to see.

The name of horror
And it is but cheap malice
Shall burn until its gone
Replaced by the righteous
And gone forever.

Kammler, The Sacrifice, and Velvet Eyes

Kammler 11/8/11

The best kept secrets
Are hidden in plain view
Secreted away underground
In a hall full of horrors.

A deeper black than black
And a future found in the past
Where anything is possible
Limitless and ghastly.

You can trade power for safety
And only the powerful will know
Because a man with power
Can keep a secret
And a man with knowledge
Can keep it all.

Bury yourself in the forest
Or change or your face and name
But where you are does not matter
If you can’t make a deal
Out of money or fear.

Someone has taken the gold
And someone has perfected time
Changing the past
And changing the future.

Mercury is fleet of foot
And travels from place to place
Making friends of enemies
And enemies of all.

Rocketing into space
On the wings of the past
And holding on to the secrets
In a land of eternal death.

In a icy fortress of silence
The world has heard the truth
Crawling like a spider
Over every single land.

Shaking hands with the darkness
Man has made his mark on earth
Soaring into the heavens
Just like God knew he would.

The truth is bigger than us
And the secrets better than fiction
A journey into madness
At the end of the earth.

A worm hole travels from one place
And ends up in another
But only God knows it all
And only he can save us now.

They have called up Lucifer
And they have blackmailed the truth
Defying conventional wisdom
To reach the very stars.

But even in the end
Good shall prevail
Though the earth sink
And the demons wail.

The inner eye can see
Where no one is allowed
And the deepest darkest memory
Lives in ourselves.

I have no power
And my knowledge is a guess
But there is more than what we see
And more than what we hear.

I am not afraid
And I am not silent
Just a man with an eye
And a man with a mind.

I have grown my heart
And I have said my prayers
Because good is stronger than evil
And God will prevail.



The Sacrifice 11/8/11

Every day feels the same
Until it changes
And the world turns upside down
In the blink of an eye
Everything is different
Either for good or bad.

We have drifted for so long
And distract ourselves with pleasure
Just to pretend
And just to forget.

We all want to escape
But we all have different methods
With different weaknesses
And different strengths.

Some men grow up
But never get wise
Still markedly juvenile
Wanting everything
No matter who is hurts.

I also have lived there
And I also wanted to forget
Crawling into a deep dark hole
To sleep.

I wanted to wake up
With everything the same
And everyone close
Those I no longer knew
But have never forgotten.

I wanted them to sneak in
And wake me up
Telling me that everything was ok
And that they loved me.

But instead I woke up
To a nightmare
Tormenting me day after day
Always forgotten
And all alone.

A fate worse than hatred
It is to be forgotten
Left holding the bag
Without any thought at all.

A perfect sacrifice is the good man
As he suffers unjustly
Walking to the gallows
For a crime he didn’t commit.

He takes on the suffering
Undeserved and horrible
Taking the blows manfully
And rising again and again.

He goes out with his head held high
Knowing he is good
Stronger than death
And stronger than lies.

Knowing the truth
He does what is right
Even if it hurts
And even if he suffers.

But a selfish man plots his course
And cares not for others
But only his self interest
And his pride.

They destroy the innocent
And leave them with nothing
And there is nothing more vile
Than a man who stabs you in the back
Too cowardly to look you in the eye.

They do their worst
And sneak away
Always thinking underneath the table
To lie, steal, and murder.

But they love to win
More than anything else
Hoping to provoke the good
So they can blame someone else.

I was provoked
And how I wanted to act
But it was something I couldn’t do
Because that is what they wanted.

I don’t have to be right
Because I know that it will end
If not one way
Then it will be another
One day for sure
All undone and dead.

And I don’t care if it hurts
Because I know how it feels
To be stabbed through the heart
But live anyway.

The perfect sacrifice in our heart
Will give us comfort in the night
Inspiring us to greater heights
Than any they will know.

He who charges me
Is not afraid of death
And he who raises me
Shall blow their dust away.



Velvet Eyes 11/8/11

Push back the velvet curtain
And stare into the midnight sky
Deeper into the past
To view who we are.

I dreamed of a white crystals
And diamonds
Falling through the sky
Like sleepy snowflakes
Covering the trees.

Dripping on black velvet
As they fall weightless into my hands
A pure and perfect memory
Dancing around her face.

I am smiling as I take her hand
And we drift effortlessly across the room
Into a deep plush booth
Glowing with silver.

Her dark eyes reflect the flames
And burn into mine
Mesmerizing me into a place
That I never want to leave.

She is as perfect as I remember
And her long white arms
Reach out to touch my face
Tender and loving.

I can almost feel her touch
And I tell her I love her
Forever and ever
And then she smiles, whispers
Closes her eyes and disappears.

I can never hear her reply
And that is the haunting part
A dream full of memory
And a memory full of regret.

Damn the dreams of wasted youth
And forget the pain
Stabbing at my chest
As I bury the pictures
In a box.

Love is not simple
And love is not for dreams
But for the happy
And the living
In a field of perpetual bloom.

I love you
And I always will
Your grace greater than the world
And your secrets
Divine.

Chapter 17 and Chapter 11/7/11

Chapter 17 11/7/11

Something has ended
And a chapter has closed
The book slammed shut
With the mystery unsolved
And the plot unfinished.

A murder has occurred
And all the money is missing
The grief stricken left penniless
While the guilty mock their pain.

The murderer sends messages
Taunting the police
And mocking the survivors
Calling in the night
Untraceable and clever.

He thinks he is immune
And he thinks he will escape
Because he has learned
From experience
And knows all the angles.

He leaves little evidence
Because he has a lot to hide
But it’s not enough to escape
He must take the credit
So they will know his name.

He likes to lie
And he likes to gamble
Because he has no conscience
And he has no soul.

He likes to swindle
And he likes to trick
Ever searching for secrets
To exploit.

He pretends to be good
And thrives on sympathy
Anything to escape punishment
To live and steal again.

Shameless and shallow
He gives just to get
Anything for money
And anything for looks.

She said she knew
That it would end badly
And that much is true
But it’s not over yet
Because nothing ever is.

Someone knows his secrets
And someday it will come undone
Because the truth will come out
And the ending has just begun.

If one person doesn’t do it
Then someone else will
A guaranteed solution
Unexpected but sure.

You don’t need to read it
To guess how it ends
Because deception falls apart
Just as sure as gravity
It's weight falls on the guilty
Someday and somewhere.

The book is finished
Whether we read it or not
And the author knows the end
Before we ever even guessed.

You can count on the end
Because it was planned from the start
A miraculous and poetic ending
Where everything makes sense.

The good rewarded
And the innocent vindicated
As the guilty lie in the street
Dead and gone.



11/7/11

If you try
And if you believe
You may know before you’re done
Because seeing is believing
What words can never show.

Everything has a reason
Even the horror
And even the death
But only through the lens of time
Will we ever understand.

The numbers and the days
Have a meaning
Predicting the future
And confirming the past.

We know not
All that we do
And many are those
Who have touched eternity
Only to walk away.

In the lost moments
And with family and friends
We have rejected the hands of greatness
Unseen and unknown.

What is, also was
And what was, will be again
Our names also numbers
And our numbers
Also codes.

Our cells contain instructions
And our spirits cannot be held
Held inside our bodies
By a silver chord of dreams.

We see and we know
But only in bits and pieces
The rest hidden
Where only the spirit
Can go.

Men have seen visions
And men have dreamed dreams
But all have seen the good
And faced an iron angel.

We mark our days
And wager on the numbers
But everything we ever needed
We already have.

We try and we try
But even the good also suffer
Giving up and giving in
The greatest of sacrifices
That no one ever knows.

I am blood
And I am bones
But there is more to me
Than what they have seen.

I too shall live
And I shall see the day
When everything adds up
And all shall return.

My name, my life, and my number
Are all said and done
But it is all I can do
Just to live, and believe.

In the end
It will all add up
At last, truly known
And truly loved.

The Wait

The Wait 11/4/2011


The heart is more than a muscle
That pumps blood through our body
And the mind contains more than matter
At least the kind you can see.

We busy ourselves with meaningless competition
And emulate the worst of men
Idolizing ourselves
And escaping into mindless diversions.

Barricaded in our houses
And glued to electronic entertainment
We forget and we laugh
As Rome burns all around.

We will see the end come
And watch it live
But it won’t really sink in
Until our windows break
And our doors kicked in.

It is so easy to drift
And let your life slip away
Just going through the motions
Predictable and dead.

Under cover of darkness
Many are confused
And by a Trojan Horse of truth
Many will believe the lies.

It is easy to believe
What others have said
But it is hard to listen
To the quiet voice of the soul.

God gave us more than breath
And what we have is immortal
But even immortality
Can’t save us
From willful ignorance.

Looking back
You can clearly see
And hear the echoes
Warning us.

But going forward
We don’t hear a thing
And march headlong
Into disaster.

Evil doesn’t always look evil
And safety isn’t always safe
As we try to avoid pain
And sidestep into disaster.

By the time we know
It is almost always too late
And now that I have understood
I can barely save myself.

I think about it
But can’t see the point
About why I could know
But yet still be wasted.

What would it mean
For me to learn
Just to ruminate on the reasons
And live in the ruins.

There must be a reason
That is larger than the self
Because there must be more
Than what I see
And what I have.

But if there is a message
Then where is the patience
As time drags on forever
Without action
And without change.

A cruel status quo
Has hardened like concrete
And while the good wait
So much has been lost.

Sometimes truth is difficult
Especially the kind we avoid
The real truth we always knew
But we are force fed as myth.

The liars parade triumphantly
And how they love to be worshipped
Getting everything they want
Whenever they want it.

And I just wait
Like so many others
Waiting for something
Something authentically promised
And something truly great.

The Gift and others

The Give Away 11/3/11

You can give up your will
And you can give up your opinions
Changing them from moment to moment
And move with the wind.

You can know who you are
Or you can give up your past
Standing or falling
For what is right
Or for what is wrong.

But no one great
No matter how humble
Shall try to crush the good
And no worthy man
Ever stoops to cruelty.

It is hard to be good
Because honor comes at a price
But it’s not the kind you kill for
It’s the kind you die for.

We can learn through observation
Or we can learn through experience
But either way
We see them fall
And we see them waste.

Give your life to another
Before you even know who you are
Selling yourself out cheaply
Or for nothing at all.

Adopt all their opinions
And take on all their pride
Changing your face
And changing your name.

Forgetting what makes sense
And forgetting what is right
Forfeiting your freedom
And watched every day.

This is for the prisoners
The people who lose themselves
Not because of weakness
But because they do not know.

They have sacrificed the good
For the lies of another
Pulled down by the quicksand
Until there is no escape.

The harder they fight
The deeper they sink
Until they think
They have no choice
And give up their will.

The soulless have no character
And the soulless have no honor
Lying their way in
And lying their way out.

They prefer to live in secret
Because they have much to hide
Living by the sleight of hand
With everything under the table.

They wait and they watch
And always ask lots of questions
Because you never know
Who may have money
And you never know
What you could steal.

There is nothing beneath them
And there is nothing too disgusting
If there is something to gain
Or any sort of advantage.

They like to know secrets
But they try to hide their own
Because there is much beneath the surface
And more than you can guess.

They try and blend in
And they may appear meek
But their eyes are always shifting
And never miss a thing.

Only those with something to hide
Will hide behind something
And there is more hidden
Than anyone can guess.

Where there is smoke
You can be assured there is fire
But the truth is out
And it smells like gasoline.

I know the truth
And it’s enough to make you sick
Worse than I ever guessed
And makes me want to wretch.

They cannot be alone
Because there have nothing inside
So they seek to possess
Just to fill the blanks.

If you know the truth
Then they will run in fear
Because they prefer to attack from behind
Rather than look you in the eye.

They do their dirty work
In the dead of the night
And play tricks
To cover up their tracks.

They plan with cruelty
And they plan with malice
All to accuse others
For what they themselves have done.

They are cowards
But they bully in private
And they are cunning
And lie every day.

I have the truth
And I have the letters
The truth behind the lie
And the lie between the eyes.

But I see something
That they do not know
The truth that they avoid
But soon shall swallow them whole.

The truth has appeared
And it is clearer every day
Impossible to avoid
And undeniable.

The truth will catch them
And burn them away
Leaving nothing left
But dust in the wind.

No one will look
And no one will remember
Blotted out
And gone forever.


Bang a drum 11/3/11

One builds
But without preservation
Another will surely destroy
While we sleep
The bugs infest the food.

It takes more than pride
If there is nothing to back it up
And it requires much from the good
But nothing from the foolish.

The selfish are sometimes blessed
By the efforts of the good
But only if they are wise enough
To know how they are fed.

God knows and God watches
Who is afraid of his name
And he will remember
Who tried to take it away.

Many love to blame
And many love to argue
But there have always been
Others who endured
And made it anyway.

Fools love to provoke
Because that is what they know
Trading light for darkness
Without remorse or decency.

The stage is set
And the actors are ready
A long time coming
Through hook and crook
But still the same as always.

Marching soldiers from afar
Endless as grains of sand
Overwhelming in numbers
Like a plague of locusts.

Ancient memory of the future
Converges as if on cue
As the foolish follow their passions
Into a river of blood.

Look and see
What you should have known
And listen to ground
For the hoof beats of time.

See the columns of fire
Rising from the desert
As the millions
Die in their tracks.

As sudden as spoken
Just like we knew
The good that shall triumph
Over the many who fall.

Doubt not
Though everything is lost
And never give up
Though you suffer alone.

For many shall fall away
Who gave up their hearts
Just before the victory
Miraculous and complete.


The Gift 11/3/2011

I came home tired
From another thankless day
Disappointed and dejected
But thankful nonetheless.

But as I trudged up the stairs
My steps quickened
Because I knew
And because I loved.

I opened the door
And there you were
Everything I ever wanted
Plus everything
I never deserved.

I see my baby boy
And our eyes meet
He breaks out in a toothless smile
And in an instant
The pain melts away.

It is for you that I am here
And it is for you that I live
A second chance
And a new hope.

Let me never forget
The gift I have
And let me never take for granted
A family and a treasure.

So much is lost
In the smallest of moments
Because we forget to cherish
The most valuable blessing.

Pulled in a million directions
By obligations and emotions
And kinder to strangers
Than we are to lovers.

There is nothing
I’ll ever have
That compares
To you my son
The owner of my heart.

You are only five months old
But you are my greatest hero
A gift
That proves
The existence of God.

Concrete Canyon

Concrete Canyon 11/2/2011

Sitting in a concret canyon
There is plenty of time to think
As I grind back and forth
On the asphalt
Wasted away.

I remember all the different places
And how they have left their mark
The days of safety
Adn the trials of horror.

I slept in an old mansion
And time stood still
Soaking in the claw foot tub
And playing games in the parlor.

Even a day there
Nourished the spirit
Restoring my blood
And feeding my soul.

A place and a time
That seems far away
And another life
Dead and gone.

Getting married
And holding my daughter
The luckiest man in the world
But with my mind tied up in knots
I was never able to enjoy it.

With everything to live for
And full of unexpected gifts
Learning and growing
But cut down through the middle.

Next I am driving in my car
With a bottle of whiskey
Between my legs
And painting poems
On my jacket.

Trying to escape
In any way I could
Anything to numbe the pain
That followed me
Everywhere I went.

I also remember
The sleepless nights
Without power or heat
All alone
And wanting to die.

Life runs down many roads
Full of infinite outcomes
Until we come to a decision
And split off into a choice.

In that moment
We miss the other exits
And they grow smaller in the distance
Farther and farther away.

A fork in the road comes
And sometimes there are hazards
Popping up out of nowhere
Without notice or warning.

We have little time to decide
As we speed on through
Hurried by the flow of living
As we crane our necks
To look at the dead.

I was never sure
And I never wanted to decide
So I kept on going
Down the same old road.

The familiar one
That always flattens my tires
And ends in the middle of nowhere
Stranded in a field.

My friends and my lovers
Have spread out to different places
And I have watched them
Fall and get up again.

But some now sleep
In silent meadows
At peace forever
And free.

But this cloverleaf runs in circles
And we always
End up together again
Just like I knew we would
But never knew how.

The roads we have ridden
Can break us or build us
But to drive them
Is to learn
And to know.

Some wounds leave scars
And some never heal
But I live anyway
And they hurt less and less.

The hills and valleys run
And I brace for the next turn
Old enough to know
And wise enough to laugh.

I shall come back
And so shall the good
Never missing the past
But still living it better.

I shall hold them again
And I shall be held and belong
In the same place I always was
Loved and loving.

Nightmare

Nightmare 11/1/11

The world is beige on beige
Washed out and painted over
Cleaned, sanitized, and omitted
So that no one is offended
And no one sees the truth.

Identities are protected
And the motives remain hidden
But any man that has been watching
Should know the truth by now.

Every man has skeletons
That he drags from place to place
Chained together forever
With unbreakable links.

The bones are the past
The things that make us human
But they are also our mistakes
That we wish no one knew.

But in this world
We don’t get the luxury
Of more than a single chance
At least not that often
And never when we think.

I close my eyes and imagine
Black lace curtains
And pearls dripping from a chandelier
Roses floating in a pool of blood
Rich, thick and warm.

But day dreams
Are not the same as a nightmares
And the streets are full of monsters
But not the kind you see in movies
Is the evil we have wrought.

No matter how much you give
It will never be enough
Because an animal is an animal
And hatred runs deep.

No longer shocking are the murders
Every single day
And every single night
That we sit and watch
As no one says a word.

Suicide by gunshot is quick
But if the good are silent
Then death comes to all slowly
But still just as sure.

They stalk the unsuspecting
And blindside the innocent
Laughing like hyenas
With no mind at all.

They are the monsters
But I did not create them
And neither did you
Because all men suffer
But not all kill.

I too have been angry
And my throat dry with thirst
Barely able to hold back
At the horror I have seen.

Standing head to head
Against everything I abhor
As it slithered into my home
And took away my life.

A deep and dark memory
Hidden under my bed
Quietly injecting its poison
In everything I loved.

As my dreams disappeared
Everything turned gray and died
Leaving me alone with the ghosts
But very much alive.

I wanted to avenge
And I wanted to destroy
Tearing them apart
And smashing them away.

I could taste the blood
And I could sense the fear
The kind that knows you are coming
And begs to die.

But there are things
That no man should do
So I stopped my passions
In a bottle
And screwed the lid down tight.

I wait and I watch
And remain a step behind
Biding my time
Until I can wait no more.

Just before the break of dawn.
In the darkest of hours
I lay awake
And think.

I am not alone
And I know right from wrong
So I beg to make another day
Without giving up
And without giving in.

We all have emotions
And we all know the pain
But even I must carry on
And let them walk away.