Every time
I close my eyes
I live it all over again
The good and the bad
Painfully swallowed
Sweet and haunting.
Golden were the days
Under jubilant sun
Protected by innocence
And easy comfort.
Each and every sideways smile
Soft as half closed eyes
Searching me out
Across time
And space.
I was born to fall
And I was fattened
For the feast
An unaware sacrifice
Untried and unblemished.
Perhaps
They did not know
And maybe
It’s not what I think
But either way I suffered
And either way I lost.
How can I ever know
What it is, that others suffer
Much less their thoughts
And hidden anguish.
Maybe they also lost
Something intangible
But still important
And irreplaceable.
Their thoughts
And even
Their true intentions
May always remain
Conflicted and hidden.
So what are we to do?
Those who have loved
And know
What it means to try
And how it feels
To lose.
That is the question
That each must face
Dead level
With eternity.
Words and actions
Integrity and humility
All of it matters
Right here
And right now.
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