Follow the leader 08/20/2010
I can take the bus
Or maybe I’ll take the train
Sliding back and forth in my seat
All the way to the city
Every day gray and every day the same.
The rain drops criss cross on the window
And the tiny geysers erupt on the hood
Split second explosions on a scale below my vision
Just like the synapses in my brain.
Every day my thoughts disappear
Some return and others are lost
Like small beautiful bits of crystal
Sparkling before they fall.
I have been praying
I have been praying for so very long
Building up to something big
A towering wall of thought.
They must go somewhere
And God must count them all
Piling up against the door
Where I have been knocking
For it seems like forever.
Patience isn’t easy
And I have grown tired with time
Pounding my head against the wall
Uselessly angry at the cruelty of time.
I wanted something to happen
Something unequivocal
And something indisputable
Something to define who I am
And what it is that I believe.
I prayed for my life to matter
And I prayed for God to use me
But I didn’t know what to expect
And never saw it coming.
If you follow the leader
You must do as they do
But it never hit home
What would happen to me.
Suffering comes with living
But I never stopped to think
About where I was going
And who I chose to follow.
That circumstances could change
And your friends turn away
Rejected, judged, and abandoned
Denied again and again.
That the world hates the injured
And that evil pounces upon the weak
Taunting and mocking them at night
And reminding them every day.
That we are known by more
Than what we do or say
But also for what we don’t
When we hold back our hands.
That true strength is hated
And honesty misunderstood
That real courage is so rare
And that convenience kills us all.
Slowly we die
And there is no help or comfort
But yet I still follow the leader
And know he rises again.
I can take the bus
Or maybe I’ll take the train
Sliding back and forth in my seat
All the way to the city
Every day gray and every day the same.
The rain drops criss cross on the window
And the tiny geysers erupt on the hood
Split second explosions on a scale below my vision
Just like the synapses in my brain.
Every day my thoughts disappear
Some return and others are lost
Like small beautiful bits of crystal
Sparkling before they fall.
I have been praying
I have been praying for so very long
Building up to something big
A towering wall of thought.
They must go somewhere
And God must count them all
Piling up against the door
Where I have been knocking
For it seems like forever.
Patience isn’t easy
And I have grown tired with time
Pounding my head against the wall
Uselessly angry at the cruelty of time.
I wanted something to happen
Something unequivocal
And something indisputable
Something to define who I am
And what it is that I believe.
I prayed for my life to matter
And I prayed for God to use me
But I didn’t know what to expect
And never saw it coming.
If you follow the leader
You must do as they do
But it never hit home
What would happen to me.
Suffering comes with living
But I never stopped to think
About where I was going
And who I chose to follow.
That circumstances could change
And your friends turn away
Rejected, judged, and abandoned
Denied again and again.
That the world hates the injured
And that evil pounces upon the weak
Taunting and mocking them at night
And reminding them every day.
That we are known by more
Than what we do or say
But also for what we don’t
When we hold back our hands.
That true strength is hated
And honesty misunderstood
That real courage is so rare
And that convenience kills us all.
Slowly we die
And there is no help or comfort
But yet I still follow the leader
And know he rises again.
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