Early Spring

Early Spring     2/28/2017

Another day in

And another day out

Turning on a hairpin

And twisting in circles.

Every day is the same

And we are trapped

In the same beginning

Always falling backwards

Just before sunrise.

Cats in a box

Fighting through a maze

Unable to escape

And dying over and over again.

Living through

An ever tightening vise

Of diminishing options

And predictable possibilities.

If we could live it over

What is it

That we would change

As useless then

As we are now. 

We always long

For what we cannot have

And we always covet

The ones that got away.

All that we lose

And all that we forget

Open ended and awkward

Improperly closed

Abrupt and ajar.

For me it’s a fragment

An irregular piece

Lodged in my throat

Unable to pass

Down or up

In or out. 

I thought I could win

And I thought I could bask

In the warm glow of acceptance

And blissful comfort.

It’s not like
I did not try

I did what I could

But it was far too little

And far too late. 

Win or lose

What are we to say

That some cruel

And others kind

Any day and either way. 

Water flows under our feet

And much of it has passed

Under the bridge

And out to sea.

But even now

Many cannot rest

Always seeking

And always proving. 

Empty vessels

That will never be filled

No matter how much they have

Or how much they steal. 

The soulless cipher

Let him choke on it now

Doubly dead

Gone forever

As if he never

Lived at all.   

Deadwood Dairy

Deadwood Dairy                2/28/2017

Some love themselves

Far far too much

But others want to die

And slowly kill themselves.

Me I never knew

And never felt comfortable enough

Unable to decide

If I should stay
Or go.

I drifted with the tide

Like so many others

Floating with the deadwood

And bobbing in the waves.

I tried

And I prayed

But it was just not enough

No matter how hard I wept

I could not change the tide.

Pitted by time

And buffeted by the storm

Washed up on the sand

Bleached and empty. 

What good is wisdom

To the impossible odds

Nothing but a teardrop

In an ocean of lies. 

I did not feel worthy

And I did not feel of use

An easily discarded

Piece of refuse.

And what good is love

For the broken hearted

That even though they learn

They ache with every breath.

Forgotten and erased

Many are abused

Violently attacked

And hastily replaced.

Publically humiliated

And taunted every day

The good often tortured

In any way they can.

For evil cares not only to win

But also to kill

Destroy and steal

Replacing all that was good

With all that is false. 

They hurt me bad

And they cut me deep

Chumming a trail in the waters

A lifeless white heap.

But only God

Can make a tree

And only God

Can change the day.

Finding me as I was

And loving me

As I am

Growing from nothing

A bigger heart

And finer fruit.

The Jump Room

Jump Room                                                 2/28/2017

Babies play with Angels

And toddlers talk to ghosts

But I just have dreams

Far away

And full of possibility.   

There is much

That is hidden

But not in the ways

That we are told.

Erased in the night

By devious pretenders

The forbidden truth

Given by God

To the few

And the good. 

Scrubbed away

And chiseled down

By the envious

And the hateful. 

Insulted and replaced

Accused and shamed

All for a lie

That only grows

Bigger every day. 

Doubled down

And tripled over

The mountain of deceit

Sitting on a fault

Unstable and steep.

We who have lived

Have also seen

Unmistakable truth

And obvious fools.

Sappers in the wire

Destroying all they can

Just for a paycheck

And a slap on the back.

Fake people

Predictable and flat

Altogether meaningless

Thoughtless and dumb.

All of them parrots

Paid to shriek

And paid to lie

Pretending not to know

That we all jump

And die.   

Ditched

Ditched                2/24/2017

Spring, Summer, or fall

Winter passes over

As days turn into weeks

And weeks

Into years.

We walk through a soup

Caustic and cruel

Wearing us out

And wearing us down.

All of it unnecessary

And all of it dumb

Predestined to die

Deluded and deceived 

By a mountain of lies.

All but for a reason

I may never know

The sun woke me up

Asleep in my dreams.

Showing me the wrongs

That I had never seen

Lost by omission

Or deliberate

Deception.

Covered over

And covered up

As if they never happened

And as if

No one knew. 

Dead evidence

Bulldozed away

Covered in a ditch

Nameless

And forgotten.

Eyes gouged out

And stabbed countless times

Murdered without mention

And blamed without remorse.

The beasts run wild

And are spread far and wide

Knowingly released

To predate and murder.

He comes with a sword

But the sword

Is not in vain

The truth at once

Beautiful and glaring.

Woe to him

That covers his face

Preferring darkness to light

And the comfort

Of lies. 

All they ever had to do

Was to look and see

No matter how uncomfortable

And burning. 

But blessed is he

Who walks into the den

Unafraid

And bold.

Even if wounded

And even if attacked

Willing to endure

For the greater

Of the whole.

We hold on

To many people

And places

But now I am let them go

In perfect peace.

Search, seek

And always pray

That God will find

Us worthy

Even though we slept

And forgot.

Second Avenue

Second Avenue                   2/23/2017

I curled up on the couch

Underneath the windows

In the quiet of the day

Peaceful and warm.

Looking up at the sunbeam

The dust particles danced in my eyes

Lazily floating through the air

Another day
Lost to time. 

We could have been left alone

But what fun

Would that have been?

Even if we never asked

And even if we never tired. 

I was almost asleep

When my son

Jumped on me

Square in the middle

Laughing at me

And full of delight. 

I remembered the old house

The one that I grew up in

Lost in a sunbeam

Suspended in a dream.

Divided up

And falling down

Just like many others

The decaying reminders

Of what might have been.

All that others built

Now lies in ruins

Sold for nothing

And occupied by strangers.

But it is I

Who is the stranger

An alien in his own land

Deliberately muted

And massively displaced.

I watch it from afar

Knowing it is a lie

The culmination of men

Craven and cruel. 

They will never learn

And they slowly kill themselves

Ignorant till the end

With a knife at their throat.

Selling us out

And inch at a time

Erased from history

And covered by time. 

My father built many things

And now he rests with angels

Speaking to my son

At the salute of guns.

The world is rotten

And evil never sleeps

Slithering in

The tiniest of cracks. 

Come quickly Lord

And save all you can

Gathering the good

And burning the evil.