Look and Listen

Look and listen 3/18/2011

Look outside
And you can see the whirlwind coming
Churning across the quilted land
A deadly vortex of destruction
Mindless but also beautiful.

From a great distance
We are strangely detached
And it can seem abstract
Remote and otherworldly

There is a dark wilderness
But not the kind you remember
Spreading like a prairie fire
Burning brightly
Across the withered plains.

We have survived before
So we keep on going
Living our lives
Asleep at the wheel.

As if we have immunity
And live forever
Untouched and unhurt
And that everything will always be the same
That our lies will remain hidden
And our fortunes safe.

We have avoided death once more
But our mourning is superficial
While we go on
Just as selfish
And just as cruel.

We bury the dead
And plan for the future
But not just for love
Because people have their uses.

I have no use
So there are no smiles
And no one has to watch me
Every minute
And every day.

Under a great open sky
There is little you can hide
And even less you can hope for
But another day of searing heat
Or another night of biting cold.

I was born of the fire
And once I held the flame in my eyes
And nothing seemed impossible
And I dreamed of great potential
But now I know
And now I weep.

I think across the centuries
And imagine myself in different times
And in different lives
Ones in which I live all possible dreams
And never have to lose.

The treasure is gone
And also is the hope
As I turn away from living
And bury my head in shame.

I see a group of women
And they laugh as they walk by
But I turn my head away
Staring into the blackness
Of the deepest darkest hole
Burying my regret
Just as far as I can.

They say we all need love
But some only have the need
But where is that warm feeling?
The kind of place where you belong
And others belong with you?

Where is the world of easy smiles?
And long sensual pauses
Or the joy of children
Who never have to leave
And never have to fear.

We have lived in a long pause
But even the silence now must end
Because I am chasing the ghosts
And they won’t leave me alone.

Others have their lives
And they have their comforts
But they are not looking
And their eyes have clouded.

They look at the world
But only with their eyelids half open
Unaware of the horror
Just a block away
Or maybe 10,000 miles.

The world has shifted
And tilts off its axis
Slowed by the weight
And groaning under time.

Upside down and backwards
It has started to shudder
Cracking, sinking
And dying every day.

Other people
And other lives
Seem so remote and lifeless
And their death
Is for us as spectators
What sport is for fools.

We are one dimensional
Here one day and gone the next
Replaced without a thought
And cut off in the night.

They pretend
But I see straight through
And they are cruel
But I watch and learn.

Look outside
Because its getting closer
Closing the distance
In a cloud of dust.

Time to reap a bitter harvest
Of rotted fruit
And broken dreams
Painful and permanent
The day of an Angry God.

The truth is coming
Relentless and certain
And it sounds like a freight train
Smashing all before it
And crushing it to dust.

Awakened Post No. XX

Awakened 3/11/2011

We like what we know
And love what we can control
Drawn by the safety of the familiar
Always predictable and always available
Never challenging or questioning
Soulless, shallow, dumb and dead.

But there are things
That no one can see
And there are things
No man can control.

God doesn’t live in a compartment
And he doesn’t wait until we are ready
He is burning everything everywhere
And no amount of words are enough
As he does what he pleases.

He is not there for our approval
And he does not exist
Just to meet our demands
But he is everywhere and everything
Uncontrollable, and chaotic
But also loving and good.

Life is tepid and the world is dead
For we seem to prefer
What is predictable and simple
The uneasy peace of the status quo
That pacifies and validates
For all the wrong reasons
Just to kill us in the end.

We occupy our time
Instead of living in it
And we pursue the dreams of others
but end up empty, wasted and bitter.

We only ask
When we are beaten
And we only pray
When all hope is gone.

The first ones were not safe
They were the outcasts and the criminals
The broken and the deviant
And God filled their wounded souls with fire
And they let it shine right through.

We plan for a time
That may never come
And we organize a life
On the promise of false safety
But we still end up empty
And all we ever earn is death.

There is a part of me
That deepest part of self
The most valuable
And the most eternal
The part we think they know
But really they don’t.

So they must be forgiven
Because they never really knew
Viewing others in just one dimension
Here one day and gone the next.

They pretend they do not know me
And they look the other way
As if I was never born
And as if I never knew.

Maybe they never knew
And maybe they never saw
But I have grown larger in my silence
And I have become great in suffering
Larger than there rudeness
And greater than there cruelty.

I stand and I walk
And I give instead of take
However little or however much
I am larger than their dreams.

Around me are people in a building
And every day I pass them on the street
Men, women, and children
Both the living and the dead.

Among all of these
There are those who witness
And those who suffer
Yes, even the weakest and the smallest
And each and everything I do
Can affect them all.

Man thinks he can change the world
And he satisfies himself with fame or money
But the change he wreaks is not what he thinks
And the smallest thing can mean the most.

God is good and God is great
He has helped me
And he has saved me
when I was ready to strike He gave me peace
And when I was ready to die
He gave me life.

There are things we cannot see
And even the burning ones are among us
Watching and waiting
Just waiting for the day.

No matter what we do
We must live in our actions
And suffer our decisions
Unseen and unknown
But still there and still true.

In between us
There is a frozen lake
Big, cold, and empty
But beneath the surface there is life
And it is full of hidden secrets.

So much has happened
And so much has been lost
But still I live and burn slowly
beneath the ice
And barely hanging on.

Everyone has feelings
And everyone has dreams
But it is our decisions that make us different
And reveal who we are.

Sometimes they are easy
But sometimes they are hard
But the longer that we wait
And further we drift
The more impossible it seems
And the more it will hurt.

So we give in
And we give up
And wander in all directions
But imagination is different than living
And spiritual comfort is death.

God is fierce
And God is great
Everywhere and everything
Alive and passionate
Challenging and provoking.

He has not come
Just to rattle our cage
And God will not waste his love
On those who will not ask.

I want to hear the bells of heaven
Ringing and clanging with joy
And I want to be truly alive
And feel it surging through my pores.

To feel again the tingle
And let it flow to my fingers
Burning through my heart
Helping me become
What I was meant to be.

This is not all there is
And everything we ever thought
Is as real as the present
The greatest gift
Like a pearl of great value
Unknown by human dreams
And not made by human hands.

God isn’t safe
And I cannot live without him
So I pray for my blood to burn
And carry forth his spirit.

Pour down your fire from heaven
And consume this dead life
Bring me back to what you wanted
And help me to keep it burning.

The torch is lit
And my soul is hungry
Ready for what I cannot know
For anything real
And anything genuine.

I have welcomed his spirit
Knowing that I may lose
And knowing that I may suffer
But still I know that he is just
And that he will remember.

God shall decide our place
And God shall decide our wealth
He alone without our words
Knowing our hearts
And knowing our souls.

The Deep End 3/3/11

The Deep End 3/3/11

Many a ship that sailed on high
Have sunk into the deep
Never again to rise
And never again to breathe.

Some they thought would last forever
But others were made to sink
But of all the lost dreams
Only mystery remains.

The sailors scrambled for survival
And some were rescued
And some were not
Entombed forever
Where the sun cannot see.

Others have suffered
And others have died
Taking with them their hopes
And their dreams.

They too loved
And they too lost
Slipping into eternity
Forever silent.

If I captain goes down with his ship
It doesn’t mean that it was his fault
Because honor doesn’t always mean glory
And the world isn’t fair.

I have ridden the ship down
And I have seen the hidden horror
Unable to save
And unable to escape.

I am a shadow
And I am a ghost
An uncomfortable reminder
Of what is real
And what is false.

Man chooses
And man takes
For each and every day
A thousands decisions are made
Rippling outwards forever
Unknown and unseen.

Money and convenience
Define the boundaries
Seldom acknowledged
But always present.

Inconvenient people
Are always quickly forgotten
As man forgets his mortality
And whistles in the dark.

The rescue ships have come
And they sail above me
High on the seas in the sun
But I am not afraid
And I am not done.

Three out of three shall die
And all men sail
Into that black mystery
In death we are everywhere
And become everything.

I am alone
But in time we shall see
So I rest my head in the deeps
And wait.