The Learning Curve 9/10/2010
It’s the learning that’s hard
That inward growing
The kind that no one can see
Training yourself not to care
Not to be hurt
And not to feel.
It is facing the moments that cut you
And putting your mind somewhere else
Far away under a glacier
Icy and protected.
Compartmentalizing your mind
And trying not to see them all at once
Keeping them separate and unrelated
Safely sealed shut, and gone.
Letting all your wants go
And watching them drift out to sea
Sinking them to the bottom
In the great dark abyss.
It means that losing is ok
Because there are worse things than that
And it means letting go of childish fears
And knowing that you’ll survive.
I had to lose everything to learn
That the sun still shines
And the tide still rolls
That I can smile with nothing
Even though I want to cry.
It means that you can make it
Even if you swallow your pride
And it means that you can still laugh
Even though it hurts.
That being alone is not the end
And that every action does not need a purpose
That you can exist at one with God
Without any word from man.
I pray at night and I pray in the morning
And I ask for God to see me through
That no matter how much it hurts
He will still will love me
With my sins, pride, and all.
We take oaths without knowing
And we rage against the iniquities of man
Never seeing what really matters
Always trying to be God
Rather than what we are.
We always ask why
But never find any answer
Always trying to know the future
When we do not see the present.
If I die, then I become immortal
And if I live then time will tell
Everything that I need
Will be given
And all returned in time.
Man does what he pleases
He accepts and he rejects
But God’s choice still matters
And he has already chosen.
Seven years ago
That is when the gift was granted
The choice was all mine
But the glory was his.
I felt the stray droplets
As I lowered my head in prayer
With all I could ever ask
And so much more than I knew.
On this earth we are hated
And we may hang our heads in shame
Feeling rejected and abandoned
Awake every night
And mocked every day.
But God has chosen the unlovely
The lonely and the lost
Accepting me just as I am
And making me what he wants.
Someday a real treasure
The kind I cannot misuse or squander
A new life of vivid color
With all I needed, but didn’t know
Returned and overflowing
A worthy servant at last.
With all the old wounds healed
Gazing at a new earth and sky
And I shall laugh without a reason
And love without tears.
It’s the learning that’s hard
That inward growing
The kind that no one can see
Training yourself not to care
Not to be hurt
And not to feel.
It is facing the moments that cut you
And putting your mind somewhere else
Far away under a glacier
Icy and protected.
Compartmentalizing your mind
And trying not to see them all at once
Keeping them separate and unrelated
Safely sealed shut, and gone.
Letting all your wants go
And watching them drift out to sea
Sinking them to the bottom
In the great dark abyss.
It means that losing is ok
Because there are worse things than that
And it means letting go of childish fears
And knowing that you’ll survive.
I had to lose everything to learn
That the sun still shines
And the tide still rolls
That I can smile with nothing
Even though I want to cry.
It means that you can make it
Even if you swallow your pride
And it means that you can still laugh
Even though it hurts.
That being alone is not the end
And that every action does not need a purpose
That you can exist at one with God
Without any word from man.
I pray at night and I pray in the morning
And I ask for God to see me through
That no matter how much it hurts
He will still will love me
With my sins, pride, and all.
We take oaths without knowing
And we rage against the iniquities of man
Never seeing what really matters
Always trying to be God
Rather than what we are.
We always ask why
But never find any answer
Always trying to know the future
When we do not see the present.
If I die, then I become immortal
And if I live then time will tell
Everything that I need
Will be given
And all returned in time.
Man does what he pleases
He accepts and he rejects
But God’s choice still matters
And he has already chosen.
Seven years ago
That is when the gift was granted
The choice was all mine
But the glory was his.
I felt the stray droplets
As I lowered my head in prayer
With all I could ever ask
And so much more than I knew.
On this earth we are hated
And we may hang our heads in shame
Feeling rejected and abandoned
Awake every night
And mocked every day.
But God has chosen the unlovely
The lonely and the lost
Accepting me just as I am
And making me what he wants.
Someday a real treasure
The kind I cannot misuse or squander
A new life of vivid color
With all I needed, but didn’t know
Returned and overflowing
A worthy servant at last.
With all the old wounds healed
Gazing at a new earth and sky
And I shall laugh without a reason
And love without tears.
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