Over and Over

 1117                                          6/9/2018

Like all others
It was all written
In my heart
A numerical code
One against eternity. 

Bigger than the flesh
Through which we feel
Immersed in a world
Far from intended. 

A million miles away
That part of me that was
Long ago
Picked up
And plucked out.

My number was always
Seventeen
Over and over again
The significant events
Perfectly timed.

Minutes, days, and hours
I have fought the fight
Sometimes winning
And sometimes losing
But always for the right reasons
To keep me growing.

Ten months
And seventeen days
Eleven hours
And seventeen minutes
Seven times seven
In the midnight hour.

Dreams are dreams
But it was in them
That you found me
Picking me up
And letting me know.

I hear my fathers laugh
And I see my mothers heart
In all those around me
Perfect and free.

life eternal
in the center of the soul
The past and the future
Perfectly preserved.

All of it here
And all of it now
As long as one lives
One against a billion.

That is why
We are the hated
All of hell
Set against the few.

No matter where we are
And no matter what we did
All we must do
Is ask.

With all our heart
Body, mind, and soul
The spirit given
To the willing
And the true.

Ask for it all
And swallow it down
Ready for anything
And afraid of no one.

And all we knew
And all we were
Returned, reborn
Ten thousand times better
Forever.

Calendar

Calendar                             6/7/2018

Feels like a million miles away

That place that I remember

Long ago and far away

But still just as close

As me to you

And you to me. 

It hurt

So I wrote

Still just as fresh

As it was yesterday. 

Stone cold as a picture

Framed in silver or gold

The forgotten moments

And forgotten people.

The greatest heroes

Live under death

So many of the good

Used up and wasted. 

Standing stones

That gave their all

Sacrificing them selves

For others men’s greed.

Hedging their bets

To finance the costs

And reaping bushels of blood

Upon the loyal

And the innocent.

What secrets did they die for

And what truth remains hidden

The good and the bad

Obscured by time. 

Agents provocateur

And secrets safely buried

Expendable people

Wasted on the way. 

Win or lose

It all worked out the same

Corrupted to the core

The snake at the center. 

They didn’t know

But they knew how to love

Spending their blood

To save

And protect. 

We go on

But they always remain

Asleep in the mud

Upon which they died.  

How long

Will it all go on

Justice delayed

The long way around. 

Full and overflowing

The treachery and deceit

Evil in high places

Wolves in sheep’s clothing

Lying every day. 

It’s almost time

But only the good

Can see it

The signs everywhere

Rotting on the trees. 

It will come out

And not just in pieces

All of it

Beginning to end

At first a trickle

And then a flood. 

Slab Stone

Slab Stone  6/6/2018

I will never understand it

So foreign an act

That for which all the good

Are incapable

Unto death. 

Cut off

And cut loose

I dangled in the air

Struggling for a handhold

And staring at the guilty.

Suddenly stabbed

And pushed off the cliff

Looking upwards and backwards

At the shallow

And the cruel. 

How many are silent

Asleep in concrete tombs

Unable to speak

Or accuse. 

Come Lord

And let them all speak

Those who lived

And those who fell. 

Let it all come out

The price of their heads

All for someone’s false glory

And earthy desire. 

All their little gods

Will surely die

Upon your glorious return

Quick, certain

Beautiful and true. 

Flood Waters

Flood Waters    5/30/2018 

They who rob

A child of dignity

Will reap a harvest

In hell. 

And they who

Shame the injured

Shall doubly dying

Scream out in pain. 

Even words can hurt

And no amount of soap

Can wash clean

The damage of shame

And rejection. 

This and more

Many suffer

So who am I

To complain? 

But I can only write

What it is I know

That feeling upon my head

Unmistakable

And unforgettable. 

We can either

Build each other up

Or we can tear

Us all apart 

Never knowing

All that might have been. 

She didn’t know all that I was

And she didn’t wait to try

Weighed, measured,

And hung out to dry. 

We had only just begun

But I was cut off

In the middle

Barely scratching the surface

Of all I could be.

And it was also then

That I was the wounded

Caught unaware

And cut in two.  

At my lowest moment

Mocked and provoked

As if some could gain pleasure

In cruelty

And suffering. 

I had only tried to save

While they sought to steal

Judged to be less

Than a  liar

And a thief.

Looking backwards

The words burned on the brain

I think about what it means

To lose or to gain. 

Head down and dying

We revisit the past

Always reminded

That we are less

And that we have lost. 

Every name

And every picture

Every post

And every thought. 

Deliberately erased

And forgotten

Abandoned by those
I loved and bathed. 

Who would do such a thing

Even to those they hated

Stripped of all dignity

And mired in shame. 

If a person must go

Than that is

What they do

But why would anyone

Humiliate and destroy. 

I paid the price

For others comfort

Taking on the burden

And obligations. 

Crushed under the weight

And left along the roadway

Nothing but a dirty tissue

Thrown out with the trash. 

But in time

We learn

And with living

We grow. 

Looking at the same day

From a million different angles

With the perspective of time

And prayer. 

Day in

And day out

Morning, noon,

And night.

Over and over gain

For what it seems like forever

The hours pass over

And the waters pass under.

Healing happens

But not in the way

I once thought

But slowly we see

And awaken. 

Everything has meaning

Even this

And even now

The test in and of itself

Growing us

From the inside out. 

I am free

Free to do anything

Unafraid of man

And all he thinks. 

Clean from guilt

And at peace with regret

All that I tried to save

And with all I lost. 

The Lord who set me free

Also is the judge

The last and the first to decide

Between anyone and me. 

Always there

With me under his wings

Lifting me up

At the just the perfect time. 

Loving me

When I hated myself

And healing every wound

Better than before. 

Soon enough

We will see

What it is that we felt

The truth bursting forth

In a rush of truth

And a flood of light.