The Dead Half

The Dead Half 7/31/2012

It took a long time
To kill that crippled self
That part of me
That was defective
And always dragging me down.

Pulling me backwards
Until I could barely stand
And always ruining my happiness
With foolish demands.

It didn’t die easy
And it didn’t go quiet
Fighting me every inch
Until I could fight no more.

I thought that if I was quiet
Then I was part of the problem
And I bruised myself
Just to prove a point.

I didn’t want to forget
Because that meant giving in
And I didn’t want to be silent
Because that mean giving up.

But even if I forgive
And even if I heal
It does not excuse evil
Or make it ok.

No longer should I waste my efforts
And bang my head against the wall
And no longer should I suffer
For what others have done.

It is better to let them go
And take the damage and run
Resisting where I can
Without pain or angst.

Their own words
Shall give them away
And they shall stumble and fall
Unexpected and hard.

No one knows when
And no one knows how
But even the worst horrors end
Someday in the end.

I say what I need to
And I do what I can
But never more
Shall I let it eat me
From the inside out.

I have put away my heart
And keep it safe inside
Never again to bleed
All over the floor.

Your heart is your treasure
So do not waste a drop
Not on useless rage
Or self inflicted pain.

But instead stand
Head held high
Calmly telling the truth
The only way we can.

Time goes on forever
And the years do not see a change
But all the years of history
Can happen in a moment
Of destiny and growth.

Soon all of this will disappear
And the dust will blow away
Revealing the truth still standing
Big, bold, free and clear.

Eyes in the sky

Eyes in the Sky 7/30/2012

I would wait for tomorrow
But tomorrow is today
As we look over our shoulder
To see whats in store.

Increasingly logged, tracked, and labeled
We become the lab rats in disguise
Running through a maze
Without a plan
And never a prize.

Trained to obey
And shocked into submission
We learn to acquiesce
Or die on the way.

The blood hands reach for us
And the fingers become tentacles
Reaching into every crack
Until we have no secrets
Mystery or freedom.

Our identity lost
And replaced with a group
Either for reward
Or punishment.

All they needed was a crisis
To take away who we are
Rushing in to fill the vacumn
When peace and stabilty
Have gone.

Causing the collaspe
Just to pick up the pieces
And looting the treasure
Just to confiscate the rest.

It is here
And it is now
Beneath the surface
As we dive for cover.

After the firefight
The gunfire is sporadic
As the wounded are evacuated
And the dead litter the street.

Everyone is hiding
Because the sky is full of spies
Looking for something
With thousands of eyes.

The future is here
And it is naked and ugly
Fueled by unreported hate
And lust for control.

If you leave life to chance
Then eventually the good shall rise
As the foolish are brought along.
By the responsible, decent, and wise.

Freedom allows man to create
And allows him to thrive
Neither hindered by bureaucracy
Or persecuted by tyranny.

But man loves to pull the levers
And man loves to set the stage
Taking power into his own hands
To change the obvious
And rearrange right and wrong.

To hire and fire
And tilt the playing field
Either for against
The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Making life harder and harder
On the good and enterprising
While excusing the horrors
Of the violent and terrorizing.

Time will tell
What we do
At the crossroads of history
When the time has come
And even seconds count.

You can go and hide
Or you can come out swinging
Willing to pay the price
For a future
Waiting to be born.

Voodoo Gambler

Voodoo Gambler 7/27/2012

Place your bets
And put them on the table
Counting down the cards
And gaming the odds.

Riding high on the sea
But sinking downwards fast
The fortunes of the gambler
And the conceit of the swindler.

Everyman has secrets
And every man sins
But some are worse than others
Without a conscience
And without remorse.

But no man
No matter how clever
Or how cunning
Can lie forever
And go unpunished.

No man can conceal
All his motives
And not all secrets
Shall remain hidden forever.

Even as they laugh
And even as they boast
The beasts of vengeance
Stir in the depths.

The clock ticks for everyone
And desperation tightens the grip
Snapping its jaws
And moving side to side.

What worked before
Will not work again
And all the secrets are out
For the whole world to see.

The monster has broke free
And it crawls out the muck
Searching for vengeance
And craving its food.

Looking for clues
And searching for scent
Stalking its prey
Through brush and thicket.

Sensing warm blood
And savory flesh
It conceals its movements
And stiffens the sinews.

Soon the gambler
Will be on the run
Pursued until his heart bursts
And lies no more.

Such is the folly of fools
Self confident and vain
As he justifies theft and murder
Destroying everything
And everyone.

But in the end
It always ends the same
As he falls on his sword
And is torn by the scavengers
For blood and food.

End of the Line

End of the Line 7/25/2012

The news is full of distractions
And our heads are full of ourselves
Preoccupied with the day to day
Guided by consumerism
And treading water.

Too busy to notice the shell game
To find out the truth
With lie on top of lie
And no ball at all.

A confidence game
Played with straw men
All set up to play
And snag away your cash.

Rigged from the beginning
So it doesn’t matter if you watch
Because the winner is already picked
And you can always tell
Just the reason why.

You might wonder
Where all the money went
But it is all our own fault
Too soft and too spoiled
And now the bills are due.

Everyone wants to be liked
And everyone loves to be praised
But even kindness has its limits
When the wolf is at the door.

A wise man looks a little deeper
Deep enough to see the future
Because if you don’t say no
They you mean yes
To more, and more, and more.

It’s easy to point fingers
If you pick a safe target
But unless you address the root
Nothing is done
And no one is safe.

Some people love money
And some of them love Power
Over regulating some
And ignoring others.

Money greases the wheels
And social unrest intimidates politicians
Nothing like murdering and looting
To ruin the profits
And spoil the view.

Too little and too late
We arrive at the crossroads
Out of wind
And out of time.

Breeding like bacteria
Are unintended consequences
Because we all looked the other way
Never bothering to protect
What was ours to keep.

The tipping point has come
And all is about to burst
As the burden becomes to great
For any man to lift.

As the takers overwhelm the givers
And there is nothing left to steal
Because they have killed all the creators
Just to make it all fit.

Time travels in a line
Accumulating debt, guilt, and regret
Slowing down and speeding up
And getting heavier every day.

Overburdened and corrupted
It stretches under the weight
Until it either breaks
Or snaps back
To a new reality.

What was once sacred
Is now a joke
And what was once reviled
Now becomes an honor.

The tail leads the head
And the dead eat the living
As we slumber in our dreams
And think we are awake.

On our way to another day
We stagger towards the slaughter house
In perfect straight lines
One after another
And one at a time.

But unlike sheep or cows
We can choose how we die
Either like chickens
Or like men.

Lifting up our heads
And opening our eyes
With a new heart
And nothing to lose
And everything to gain.

A Sideways Smile

Sideways Smile 7/24/2012

Sometimes even the worst
Is better than what you think
Because desperate men
Do desperate things
Exposing the truth
In the nick of time.

Hardship is still hardship
And my circumstances
Have still not changed
But the change has come
Inside and all around.

No longer do I care
What it is, that others do
And no longer does it hurt
When my enemies
Mock or ridicule.

Happy men
Are seldom cruel
And most
Are confident with victory.

Without a need to justify
Or a point to prove
But happily enjoying the fruits
Of labor and duty.

But a haunted man
Will always try to fill
His emptiness with meaning
And his inferiority
With hatred.

Welcome their lies
And laugh at their comparisons
Because then you know
The mask has fallen
And all shall know
Who they are.

Soon enough to perish
And soon enough to disappear
Missed by none
And never remembered.

Black Light

Black Light 7/23/2012

It was a month ago
That I got the news
About the wounding
And the blood.

My oldest son
Now knows more
More than he should
At only twenty one.

He lives far away
And he has felt the sting
Of a bullet to the middle
In a bizarre twist of fate.

A victim of a strange mistake
And a tragic miscommunication
Far away from my voice
But close to my heart.

Injured by another
Who did not think it through
Thanksfully not a lunatic
On his way
Off the end.

The cut off his clothes
The blood soaked shirt
And splattered trouser
To cut him open
And appraise the wounds.

A split seconds decision
Is all that it takes
Between the easy and the hard way
As much as life and death

Bullet wounds heal
From the inside out
Slowly closing up
As the infection drains.

A long time to remember
What no man can forget
Even though the pain is gone
The scars remain.

A dent remains
Where the bullet hit the ribs
A strange reminder
About an inch from death.

He is me
And I am him
Blood of my blood
And half my DNA.

The curse lives on
Without conscience
Or remorse
And untold is the suffering
Unspoken and unknown.

I pray for him
Both night and day
My first born son
First of my heart
And first of my life.

So much alike
I gave him my name
Cursed from the beginning
For being mine
And being the same.

But he lives
And so do I
So the fight goes on
For another hour
And another day.

He too has learned
What it means to learn
To suffer unfairly
And survive anyway.

I pray that he
Will take this to heart
To take the curse
And turn it upside down.

To ride out the hardship
And become a better man
Emerging stronger than ever
And better than before.


It didn’t happen overnight
The total transformation
Of my spirit
Renewing itself by small degrees
From the
And the inside out.

Unhinged

Uhinged 7/20/2012

Gravity holds the body down
But our minds are fee to wander
Skipping over the invisible boundaries
Between decency and madness.

There are many worlds
And the one we see
Is what we make it
As we go through the motions
Of circumstance and fate.

In the beginning
We are full of hope
But life has many disappointments
Cutting us down to size
And leaving us all alone.

Desperation is never far
From disappointment and anger
If we allow our minds
To spin and spiral
Thinking the worst
Instead of the best.

Thinking ourselves in circles
So that we cannot see
That there is always a way out
Of every black abyss.

But some would rather be victims
Of their own twisted logic
Preferring death to change
And murder to sorrow.

Determined to satisfy their feelings
No matter who it hurts
Or who it destroys
Acting act their fantasies
As messengers of death.

But the real world is here
And what we do
Spreads like a germ
Infecting everything
And everyone.

Horror begets horror
And hatred begets violence
As man turns on himself
And kills his own.

A dying world
Is like a wounded animal
Violently mauling
Even those he loves.

Because his brain is fire
And his insides are rotting
Driving him insane
Before convulsions and death.

But even demons on the brain
Cannot destroy what is good
For the good and innocent
Live forever.

A better place awaits
And a new world is born
From the pangs of the old
Corrupted and dead.