Legacy

Legacy 4/12/2012

I can still smell the gun smoke
Curling in the air
And I can still feel the whiskey
Burning in my veins.

Just some little things
That remind me
Of who I was
And where I am from.

A dark and forgotten place
Full of dreams and grain
And endless gold expanse
Underneath a wide open sky.

Stretching out in my mind
Ever more distant
That part of me remains
No matter where I go
Or what I lose.

But I am also different
And I have learned through living
Because time never stops
Not for me
And not for you.

Like a dust particle in the air
The world floats
Rudderless and mad
Succumbing at last to gravity
And falling.

While some will escape
Many will cry
Unknown and faceless
Many suffer
And many die.

Man yearns to be free
And many talk of justice
But how many would know it
Even if they saw it?

With one eye blindfolded
And one eye open
Some are sacrifices
And some go free.

The wisdom of the mob
Is the price of fools
Trading away the future
For a few votes more.

If you think
It makes no difference
Then you never knew at all
Just another dumb victim
Nailed to the wall.

If you think
There is no answer
Then life has no point
And we might as well die
And sleep forever.

But no argument can change
What another has experienced
And those who have seen the truth
Will never be the same.

I cannot speak for others
But I can speak for me
And I remain myself
With no excuse
Or apology.

Unashamed and defiant
Walking through the streets
Come what will
And come what may.

I know my life
And I know what I have seen
The proof in the blood
And the writing on the wall.

Empty headed fools
Can never change eternity
Self absorbed
And self deluded.

I don’t need to argue
Because I have lived more
Both the highs and the lows
More than they will ever know.

The future is here
And it is an animal farm
With some worth more than others
Devolved, dumb
Worthless and useless.

But it is not the end
And the beginning
Is just around the corner
After all is said
And after all is done.

Wildfire

Wildfire 4/11/2012

The wounding is a mystery
But it is hidden in plain sight
An unlikely answer to prophecies
Long buried in the past.

Miracles are everywhere
But so also is the horror
Erupting with sudden violence
In a thousand divergent spots.

Stare into my eyes
And call me the devil
Because words cannot change
The truth and the word.

Suck out the blood
And suck out the poison
Because it infects everything
Everywhere.

But all it takes is honesty
To sort out the good
Because wisdom is precious
To those who ask.

You can stick out your hand
Or you can stick out your neck
But you never know
What you will get.

You have to decide
Which is better
To always look for something
Or to become someone.

Every great thing
Requires a little risk
And to grasp at immortality
May cost you
Your life.

Everyone and everything
Is a little different than the next
Just as some people drag you down
Others will feed your flames.

We are unique
And possess an infinite combination
Of talents, experience and inspiration
A one of a kind creation
Of a thousand billions to one.

But our interaction with others
Can transform the world
Exploding outward
Like gasoline on a fire.

One grew me up
And another cut me down
But the love of a few
Has always kept me burning.

Come and join the fire
Exchanging ideas, wisdom, and passions
Feeding the flames of inspiration
And let it burn out of control.

Ghost of a Chance

Ghost of a Chance 4/10/2012

A proud man
Is never sorry
But a humble man
Acknowledges his errors.

Unacknowledged
Evil spreads like cancer
Killing everything
And everyone.

The war is in our minds
And we pay dearly
For every bloody inch
Millimeter by millimeter
Day after day.

We can walk the distance
Until our hearts
Are bled white
But we cannot win
Until we have learned.

Evil hides behind a mask
Hidden but barely concealed
Because arrogance hates anonymity
And craves adulation.

He feigns indifference
And mentions not the victims
Because he holds them
In vicious contempt.

But a good man
Knows the truth
And will defend it right and left
Without holding back
And without apology.

The silence of the dead
Will not last forever
And even ghosts
Will have their chance
To snatch victory
From death.

The weak minded
Are bought with bread and soup
But the truly great
Thirst for something more.

Something more lasting than status
And something more authentic
Than praise
But a beautiful future
Of merit and grace.

We become the decisions we make
And we are
What we always were
And there is no apology needed.

The road to death is easy
But the road of the good is hard
Full of thorns and derision
And shunned by foolish men.

Come away with me
Because I have followed others
And I shall never give in
And I shall never give up.

Exiled to Oblivion

Living in Oblivion 4/9/2012

The rooster struts
And the magician
Twirls his cape
But none are the wiser
Who don’t watch and think.

We are like spectators
At a circus
Eyes affixed to the rings
Amused, distracted
And over medicated.

Trained to laugh on cue
At shallow visions of reality
As we sink ever deeper
Into what we see.

Too busy just keeping up
To notice all the clues
Massing at the event horizon
Or crouching in the bushes.

A sniper takes his aim
Cool, calm and deadly
Hidden in the landscape
Dead center ahead.

Some shoot to kill
And some want to maim
Whatever it takes
And whatever they want.

Life is a strange thing
If we know only what we feel
Glancing sideways off the target
And never living at all.

Picture me as I was
Or paint me as I am
An anachronism, and a riddle,
A secret and a scribe.

Like a monk on an island
Isolated and remote
Hidden in a shelter
Of moss covered rocks.

Transcribing the words
Greater than my own
Lost in the dark ages
Hidden from the sun.

Two parallel lines will never meet
But instead, just go on forever
Crossing over all the same places
At almost always the same time.

Our lives go on
Until they end
Covering all the same experiences
But with a different
Taste, opinion, and reaction.

But some lines are skewed
And veer off course
Consumed by greed
Or hatred.

They love to criticize the dead
The ones who did the work
And built all we have
But they have built nothing
Never have, and never will.

The reaper crouches
And steadies his aim
While the innocent play
Deaf, dumb and proud.

They can kill me once
But never can they twice
Just a step away
And hidden in the smoke.

Follow me here
And follow me there
Shooting in the fog
And shooting in the air.

The foolish are lost
Dumb and mystified
Trying hard to explain
The unexplainable truth.

Our lives are intertwined
And circle each other
At the just the right places
And at just the right times.

Come friends and watch
Circle around and sing
Because love is eternal
And we will prevail.

Time Will Tell

Time Will Tell 4/6/2012

Some days it’s hard to try
And some days it’s hard to think
When everything seems pointless
And everything is the same.

The same old stories
And the same old words
Coming at me
And clamoring for attention
Just like yesterday
And all the days before.

Reality hits hard
And it takes your breath away
Like a punch to the stomach
Doubled over and speechless.

Nothing is ever learned
And the same people
Do all the same things
Without any consequences
All over again.

It all has to go somewhere
And it must be a heavy weight
The untold burdens of evil
All adding up to death.

We have become desensitized
And complacent with horror
Cowering under censorship
And forbidden to speak
With our hands over our ears
And our face in the corner.

The silence is deafening
And the crickets are chirping
As the good are attacked
Over and over again.

Time has sped up
And the world has started to wobble
As civility falls apart
And madness takes hold.

Violence and horror
Degradation and debasement
The innocent abused
And the guilty excused.

We watch from a distance
And dream
That we are immune
While the terror just gets closer
And closer to home.

No one says a word
And the good illicit no outrage
As the authorities remain silent
In obvious complicity.

How many centuries have come
And how much evil
Have we wrought
All adding up to something
And all adding up to this.

Dried out, brittle
And parched from lack of water
The landscape ready to burn
At the smallest of sparks.

Winter has passed
And a long hot summer awaits
A time for testing
And a time for proving.

The good are betrayed again and again
Right under our noses
While we hide our eyes
And give up
In our heart.

Blind as we always were
And sleep walking
Through the paces
We repeat our mistakes
A thousand times a thousand.

A voice in the distance
Pleads with us
To listen
The same one
We have always heard
But often ignored.

The same sacrifice
For all the same reasons
Given up as a gift
And taken for granted.

It is a long lonely walk
Full of great burdens
Bearing the weight of time
And evil.

But nothing lasts forever
As we stand eye to eye
Face to face with ourselves
And all alone with God.

Though the skies are darkened
Do not despair
Because this time
It’s different
And the truth is coming
In our hearts and in the air.

Holding Patrick

Holding Patrick 4/5/2012

The orange sun sets
And peers through the clouds
Dull enough to see
As it glows behind the haze.

The grass is cool
And blanket is soft
So I lay down on my back
Listening to the sounds
Of my family at the park.

The children are running
And shrieking with joy
As they run through the fountains
Of white bubbling water.

Drenched in the cold water
They laugh and play
Exuberant, uninhibited,
And exclaiming with abandon.

My little son
Rocks back and forth
Happily babbling
Joyous gibberish.

He crawls on the grass
And watches the kids
Eyes shining
And smiling.

Healing my heart
And restoring my faith.
As the wounds of the day
Soften, shrink
And melt all away.

For the moment
There is peace
And all things are beautiful
And understood.

I pick him up
And kiss his cheek
My little boy
Sweet and loving.

We all have work to do
And for me
It is for him
A future full of promise
If I try.

My world is here
And his world, is still becoming
A precious gift
Fragile, exquisite,
Innocent and pure.

And it doesn't matter
Whether I deserve it
Becuase It is better to be thankful
Than it is to doubt.

I hold him up
And marvel at my blessing
The greatest gift in the world
To teach, shape, love, and share.

Hellbent

Hellbent 4/4/2012

Of all the thoughts
That swirl in our heads
Memories, images, and feelings
Half of them hurt
And half we ignore.

There are people we knew
And people we admired
Friends and acquaintances
Scattered through the years.

When we speak
We remember
All the faces and the times
Memories and feelings
Intertwine and coalesce.

You can know men
By their friends
And our friends
Mold our lives

Their opinions and passions
Become ours
And ours become theirs
Each a part of the same
Either for good
Or for bad.

I had a lot of friends
And some of them I keep
But some also are lost
Gone forever
Either by decisions
Or fate.

I have heard it all before
And I have lived it through
Standing at a great height
And falling down forever.

I have seen hell
And I stared it in the face
Awake through an endless nightmare
Of loss,
Horror, and, agony.

Draining me
And all my blood
All my work
And all my dreams.

And I strained to see backwards
As I gasped for breath
Watching it all swirl
And disappear
Down the drain.

Leaving me unable to speak
Or make any sound at all
Open mouthed in horror
At what I saw
And what I knew.

To lose
And keep on losing
Is like an endless
Dark night of the soul.

Impossible to stop
And repair the damage
As it bleeds and spreads
Everywhere you look.

I have seen it
And I have felt it
Bearing a weight so heavy
That it crushed me
Down to nothing.

I tried to escape
And I tried to forget
Pulling up a black blanket
To sleep my life away.

I wanted to wake up
In a new world
Where everything made sense
And everything was right.

But I had fallen
Down a rabbit hole
Where the world
Was overcome by madness
And spun out of control.

Where right was wrong
And wrong was right
Where the good were guilty
And evil excused.

Where men sucked blood
From the necks of others
Draining all their life
In great gulps of joy.

I wept and I prayed
Until I could feel the sweat
Stinging my pores
As my bloody tears
Fell on the pages.

One thing led to another
And I kept falling forever
Rolling down hill
Losing my love
And all I ever hoped for.

I will never be the same
But, I am not the only one
Alone again at my keyboard
Filling in
All the dead spaces.

If I could only go back
Everything would be different
But no man
That has tried that
Has ever returned.

I drank, and popped pills
And tried to sleep my life away
Retreating into the darkness
That I knew so well.

The days blurred together
But I could never escape
The loss ever before me
And dangling in the air.

No amount of alcohol
And no mixture of drugs
Could ever blot out
All that I knew.
And all I had seen.

It gets better
And it gets worse
And God only knows
Where it will stop.

The world goes on
And teeters on the edge
Just an inch away from disaster
And a thought away from death.

Others have fallen
And the reaper is grinning
Looking across the bodies
Rotting in the street.

I have survived
By the thinnest of margins
All for a purpose
I do not know.

I write
And fumble in the dark
Lost in my thoughts
As time passes by.

Still searching for a reason
And still holding on to faith
Scratching at the ledge with my fingernails
Because that is all
I have left.

I have not forgotten
And I know I never will
Because you can’t hold a ghost
But its hard to say goodbye.

Life is cruel
And the world is heartless
Pulling you down
And crushing your spirit.

But never give up
And never give in
Not until the end
And not until you know.

Laugh at the devil
And crash through his gates
Straight through to victory
No matter how long it takes.

Because facing fear
And loathing
Is not the worst
Nothing but a test
Taken, completed and done.

A gift to the good
To purify their spirit
Nothing but a chance to grow
Ever greater
And larger.