Nothing to prove

Don't Ask   2/7/2014

Don’t ask me, if it hurts

Because it’s worse

Than you can imagine

And don’t ask me, about addiction

Because it’s a black plague

Killing us all.

Don’t ask me about lost loves

Because I still have the dreams

As I fall backwards into the past

And can never escape.

It hurts

And so does this normalcy

Because all of this is wasted

Worthless, rotten, and dead

As I go through the motions

And pretend that I care.

Find me a place

Where I can just be

Without having to explain myself

Or defend the obvious.

A world where we can love

And breathe

In an atmosphere

That can support life

And tolerate truth. 

Where we understand

And can communicate with a smile

Loving all

And knowing all.

Shout it loud

For everyone to hear

That here we live

And that there is so much more.

What is good, without God?

And what is humanity?

Without sacrifice and selflessness

Nothing but tadpoles

Swimming in the dark.

We long for more

Because deep down

We remember

What it was, we had

And what it was, we lost.

Deep within, our collective souls

We almost remember

Who we really are

And from where

We have come.

On the tip of our tongues

Just beyond our fingertips

The truth springs upwards

In an ancient promise.

But it’s never too late

Until it is

And he who turns now

Shall see all

And shine like the sun. 

Thin Ice

Thin Ice 2/6/2014

Sometimes we lose our bearings

And veer off the track

Spinning our wheels in a ditch

Unable to escape.

And sometimes we weep

And bury our heads in our hands

Lamenting all, we have missed

And all, we have lost. 

I leaned on others

More than I should have

And when they were gone

I could barely stand at all.

There are days

When the words don’t come

And I sit here motionless

Staring at nothing.   

There is so much loss

And so much suffering

Most of it wasted

And unnecessary.

We keep taking the opiate

And we keep running away

Preferring lies to truth

And darkness to light.

We shrink back from love

And hold back our help

Afraid of taking chances

And being a fool. 

But no matter what we do

We lose anyway

And no matter how numb

We wake up sober. 

Thinking our way into circles

Until we feel hopeless and desperate

Unable to face the day

Awake and exposed.

Wasting our time

Trying to recreate

Those beautiful feelings of perfection

That can only come by grace.

None of us

Are immune

Not from this

And not from them.

Look at them

Dead in their beds

Just like us

Running away

From uneasy emotions. 

Inertia drags us down

And the weight of the world

Crushes our spirit

As we slug it out

For nothing at all. 

If only we could know

How loved we are

Then we would speak

And they would hear. 

Right now

They suffer

And right now

They dream

Of something better

That cannot be found.

You can lean on others

Or you can anesthetize your brain

But nothing can change reality

Its unexpected pleasures

Or wincing pain. 

If only we made the effort

And if only, we took the risks

All that was lost

Would remain

Here and now.

I give you my love

Because it is, what I have

Nothing more than this moment

One among, the countless probabilities

That we were born at all. 

Think on this

And think on that

Reaching for what is higher

And better.

There is no perfect time

And there is no perfect feeling

But only the human heart

Limitless and deep. 

Vacuous

Vacuous  2/5/2014

Leave it out in the rain

And let it age and crack

Because nothing lasts forever

And that is still a good thing

And better than it sounds.

There is a beauty

In the forgotten

And the neglected

But only for those who see

And understand. 

Peeled paint

And muted colors

Chipped, tarnished and dull

Reflect the perfection

Of imperfection

And the handiwork of God.

Random events

And splatters of paint

Only add romance

To the patinas of time.

Let others collect their titles

And cover themselves

With silicone

Smoothing out every dimple

Plastic, empty, and soulless. 

Many are those

Who would cut your throat

Just to get

A few dollars more

Indifferent and cruel.

And many are those

Who would drag around your body

Dancing and laughing with glee

Filming your husk

Naked, pale, and dead.

Mocking all that is good

And trashing all that matters

As they trip over their feet

And fall into a tomb.

The jump through the hoops

And sell out their children

Just to please others

Wasted, worthless, useless.

Evil, corrupt, and decayed.

This is their creation 

And we should let them have it

Riding it all the way up

And all the way down. 

Painless

Painless 2/4/2014

Don’t be surprised

When it gets worse

But only remember

Who was right all along

We can ridicule

And we can judge

But right is right

And wrong is wrong. 

You can change the rules

And change the dates

Any which way you want

But in the end

We are

How we act.

Artificially evaluated

And artificially ranked

To engineer an outcome

Someone wants to see. 

So that is how it is

And that is how it feels

The journey uphill

And against the grain. 

We survive

By the smallest of margins

All to try it over again

Tomorrow

And the day after that.

Is it any surprise

That man seeks relief?

And that many have died

Chasing oblivion.

Who can blame their craving

Once they have tasted bliss

Weightless and free of pain

Warm, numb, and euphoric.

But God wants us to grow

And have a different kind of peace

The kind that passes all understanding

Even when we suffer

And sweat through our shirt.

For some reason

God picked me up

And plucked me out

Just before the abyss

Deep dark and black.

Pray for the lost

That they may be saved

Picked up at the last second

To leave and breathe again.

Pray for the lost spirits

Flying this way and that

Afraid to leave

And ask for release.

That their suffering and anguish

Can yet be healed

Out of place

And out of time.

There are bigger things

Than what we see

And there are larger truths

That we have ignored.

It is hard to judge

What we have never lived

So we shake our head

And keep on going

Forging through the mud.

This is my life also

And I have made up my mind

Neither to beg

Or be ashamed

Of what it is

I ask.

I strain upward

Underneath a wounded bird

Held aloft by something greater

And everlasting.

Let the beasts rage

And beat on my door

Because I know how it ends

In the blink of an eye.

Flytrap

Flytrap   2/3/2014

The spider makes a web

To catch and eat

A sure way to trap

The unsuspecting

And unaware.

How can a man survive?

If he is outnumbered

And defenseless

And what are we to make?

Of the motives

Behind the lies.

Silence is the voice of complicity

And the silence here is deafening

Unmistakable and thick

And flashing like a neon sign

In the middle of the night.

The strands are connected

For stability and strength

Holding the prey captive

Until its paralyzed and dead.

If you trace the lines backwards

You can see

It all fall into place

As one connection leads to another

Horrible, hateful, and deadly.

People, places, and things

Beliefs, prejudices, and events

Irrefutable evidence

And foolish to ignore. 

I have seen the bloody faces

Staring at me

As I stare at them

Mouths open in terror

For you and for me.

The spider is in the corner

And all arrows point to him

As evil as it gets

And as deadly as can be.

If you will not look

Then you will never see

What it is, that hurts

And what it is, that’s true. 

The king is coming

And he has seen it all

As he blazes a trail of vengeance

For everyone to see.