Shadow Box

Shadow Box 9/12/2012

Faces in the smoke
And the future in the water
Symbols and clues
To who we are
And what we will be.

Reflecting backwards
Everything makes sense
But like so many things
The truth is uncovered
After it is too late.

Even a small fire
Produces smoke
And where there is death
The smell shall linger.

I also wonder
At the foolishness of man
So full of vanity
That he can’t see his mistake
Or take notice
Of the end.

Still frantically trying
To live like he always did
Long after
The ships have sailed.

Busily crushing the good
Just for being good
While they praise
The weak
And the violent.

Tip toeing through a minefield
That they themselves created
All because they hate the truth
And themselves.

Self loathing is not new
And lying is as old as a fossil
Nothing new or special
About selling the rope
That they will hang us with.

We can go along for the ride
And coast downhill
Ending at the bottom
Of self inflicted wounds.

Some people can see farther
Because they know where to look
Remember where they have been
And who that they should ask.

And there is no need to read tea leaves
Or stare into a crystal ball
Because an animal is an animal
And God is God.

We aspire to greatness
But fail to exercise responsibility
Sleeping with the devil
And turning our back to the wolves.

But the lamb is stronger than he looks
And this time is for keeps
Riding high upon the clouds
With vengeance on his lips.

Matterhorn

Matterhorn 9/11/2012

Secret thoughts
And secret memories
Race through our minds
As we cradle life in our arms
And death in our heads.

We are tools
And compartmentalized machines
Each with a job
And each with a duty.

Dependent on others
But ignorant of the whole
Just a part of something larger
And horrific.

Used up and thrown away
We are a means to an end
Only as valuable as we are useful
And bribed with the status quo.

Our future is leveraged
And all our labors stolen
As oligarchs manage our decline
Profiting every inch of the way.

A civilization of suicide
Leaning forward into oblivion
Rotting from the inside out
Unrecognizable and foreign.

Teetering on the edge
Of self indulgent waste
Used up as collateral
For a debt
No one can pay.

But the good shall survive
Even in this
And even now
No matter what
And no matter when.

Though evil may dance in the street
And even though he may mock and murder
God shall snatch away his life
Gone in an hour
And never remembered.

Today is another day
And there are no surprises
As the paint starts to peel
We shall see the true colors.

A secret few
Will make all the difference
Larger than life
And stronger than death.

The Warren

The Warren 9/10/2012

Life is a walk down a hall
With doors on either side
And every time you open one
Another one closes.

Doors open and shut
Either by sliding or slamming
As we make our choices
Or as we fall idle
Someone makes them for us.

I could have been anything
But I am just a figurine
Walked down the hall by a giant hand
Laughing all the way.

There was the room
I used to live in
Where I indulged every whim
And was rotten to the core.

But I was tossed out
And the door slammed behind me
Leaving me with worms to eat
With no way out
And no way home.

Trapped in a room with no exit
Leaving me to feel my way
In a darkened room
Full of shadows.

Looking back across the thresholds
I am struck by the contrast
Some of them fortunate
But others full of heartache.

As painful now
As they were then
And I can still feel the ache
And painful desperation.

In one,I am naked on the couch
Strung out and shaking
All alone in a freezing house
And wanting to die.

In another I am with my family
Driving through snow covered mountains
Telling each other stories
And laughing.

In another I am waiting by the door
With a vodka in one hand
And death in the other
Burning with vengeance
And praying to be attacked.

Alone in the heart of darkness
And ready to defend my castle
All that I had left
With less and less and less.

Next I search the ruins
With a flashlight in hand
Inspecting my yesterdays
To salvage and remove.

Next I am here
Sitting at my desk
Unknown and unused
A secret waiting to happen.

A man inside a compartments
With more compartments in his head
Some secret and some public
Just drifting from one to another.

I may leave the room
Or just stay here forever
Because I am the same
No matter where I go
Or who I see.

I am the same as the little boy
Hiding behind his mom
Safely protected by a family
Long ago and far away.

Still the same
But altogether different
Built up by the good
And scarred from the bad
Transformed by wisdom
And saved by grace.

Urban Excavation

Urban Excavation 9/7/2012

I grew up
In a haunted house
And now I whisper
From behind the wall.

I am a puff of smoke
Drifting across the hall
In a stream of freezing air
Passing through the walls
And sinking through the floor.

I may come or I may go
But either way
I don’t really care
Because enough is enough
And I don’t scare.

This house is about to fall
Because its been rotting for years
From the inside out
And the bottom to the top.

Caked with dust
And thick with cobwebs
Abandoned, empty,
Lonely, and dead.

A Victorian castle
Ravaged by time
Full of secrets
And deadly truth.

Nothing is as beautiful
Than beauty left in ruins
Beaten, and weathered,
Haunting, and glamorous.

Heavy with the past
Half remembered and lost
A monument to man’s barbarity
Shrouded in fog.

Full of hidden knowledge
And rife with danger
A scintillating mirage
Of the way we were.

As good a place as any
To wait for the call
Ready to answer the slaughter
Of countless sheep
Over the wall.

I have all the time in the world
Time enough to live
And time enough to wait
Just waiting for something to stir
Rise and awake.

Broad Daylight

Broad Daylight 9/6/2012

The heavy lifting is over
And now I am tired
Barely able to stay awake
As my fingers
Punch at the keys.

I have given my all
And now here I sit
Resting my eyes
And letting it flow.

I hope these words
Find some ears
Before they dry up
Dead in my throat.

Spreading far and wide
And into divergent places
No matter what they think
Or what they feel.

Some search to learn
And some search to watch
But the words are bigger than the man
And the man
Doesn’t mean a thing.

I am here
Immovable
And unknowable
A mystery and a riddle
Just waiting to be born.

In deep dark places
Others think and plan
Far away from you and I
Yet so much closer
To the end.

There is what you see
And there is what you don’t
As we watch the one hand
The other
Springs to action.

Nothing could be clearer
And nothing more obvious
Than foolish pride
And suicidal neglect.

Heading downhill
In a irreversible dive
With little time left
To bail or die.

This is the question
And this is the hardest test
Because even the greatest glory
Shall come from blood.

You can spin it
Anyway which way you can
But the truth shall emerge
Between the fingers of the hand.

The sky is full of stars
And they watch us
Day and night
With more knowledge
Than we know
And more perception
Than we think.

Wisdom is the difference
Between learning
Where you should go
And what you should avoid
Who you should follow
And who you should fight.

All I can do is ask
And all I can do is write
One of many of the lost
Ready to come home.

Others may seek
Our head on a platter
But these veins carry more than blood
And this heart
Will never give up.

Look now
And do not forget
Because not every man gets
More than a second chance
And no man knows
What tomorrow shall bring.

The Peacemaker

The Peacemaker 9/5/2012

I could say anything
But that doesn’t make it true
And what I have lived makes no difference
If I never learned
How to love.

Its not about struggle
Because all of us try and fail
But rather it’s the motive
And the reason.

In this world there is hatred
The kind that you can feel
Burning from the eyes
And consuming the soul.

It comes from resentment
And it comes from blame
As we curse others
For all that we see.

But the difference is not blame
And it is not guilt
But rather it is our actions
Or inaction.

You can smooth out the path
And you can bury the truth
But you can always tell an imposter
From the look on his face.

Soon the mask will fall off
And soon he shall spend his fury
Laughing while Rome burns
And the armies march.

The air is thick with anticipation
As the days painfully pass
While we struggle harder and harder
To hold up the world.

There is something coming
A slow and creeping horror
As ancient meanings surface
About who and what we are.

A window has opened on history
But only for a time
As nations rise against nations
To plunder, murder and steal.

Say your payers
And pay attention
Because blood is in the water
And the writing is on the wall.

Everything Else

Everything Else 9/4/2012

We were born perfect
Uncorrupted and innocent
But then we opened our eyes
And knew.

We grow and we learn
And it helps when you are loved
Because we can forget the bad
As long as there is good.

I was far more fortunate
Than I ever knew
Because we always take for granted
Everything we have.

You could have told me all day
About what it meant
To be loved
But how could I have understood
What it was
I always had.

There was always the safety
Of family and friends
And there was always a net
In case I fell.

I could be as selfish as I wanted
And still never pay the price
Even though I was warned
I never saw the end.

Reality sneaks up
On the good and the bad
But it cuts deeply
The unsuspecting
And the careless.

It cut me in half
And there was nothing I could do
Because all the love in the world
Couldn’t stop the bleeding.

I thought I was caring
And I thought that I was giving
But I didn’t know a thing
On my way to harvest
That I never deserved.

We live off the fruits
That others have planted
And we stand on the shoulders
Of the dead, beneath us.

We read about suffering
And we read about sacrifice
But never do we realize
How patient evil is.

It waits in our hearts
And it sleeps in our heads
Just waiting for the right moment
To tear us to pieces.

Some men pretend they are strong
But they are the weakest of all
Because only the strong can be gentle
And the only heroic
Can be humble.

Always competing with each other
And always competing with God
Setting up our names
As if they mattered at all.

Aspiring to titles and awards
No matter what the cost
And always trying to wear
Someone else’s crown.

We pass along the praise
And we pass along the problems
Without the courage to question
Or the tenacity to confront.

I had to lose almost everything
To see the difference
And I had to shrink down to nothing
To ever know myself.

Yes we are a different creature
A strange and dangerous monster
Intelligent enough to know
And rebellious enough to kill.

Born with a hole in our heart
That longs for eternity
But, if only we knew
Enough to believe
That we are loved.

I hid myself
In a faraway place
Just as lost as I could be
But it was there that I finally knew
Who I was.

Little by little
We are coming home
And all that is lost
Will return
Ten times a thousand.

We will be together
And all will be forgiven
Everything understood
And everything healed.